


Teaching a Heart

by i_write_shakespeare_not_disney



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Prince Zuko - Freeform, Sickfic, Swordsman Sokka, but an entirely different plot, canonverse, focus on zukka, zukka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 07:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 114,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25346947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney/pseuds/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney
Summary: Sokka is asked to go to the Fire Nation to teach the crown prince how to sword fight. When he arrives, he's surprised to learn he has to pose as a companion before he can teach the stubborn prince because he rejects every teacher. Far from home and among new customs, Sokka struggles to gain the prince's trust and friendship despite the uncertainties of the customs and dynamics he sees. As he slowly finds answers to his questions, his bond with the prince grows until it becomes something far more ardent than friendship. Doomed as it may be with the prince's approaching wedding ceremony and coronation, Sokka and Zuko find themselves consumed by what they find in each other.
Relationships: Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 592
Kudos: 599





	1. About Survival

**Author's Note:**

> This started as an au to a film then took on a life of it's own. I'm planning to do weekly updates (every Friday). It's my first time trying a schedule, so fingers crossed it works out! Comments are super appreciated <3 find me on Tumblr at @i-write-shakespeare-not-disney  
> Happy reading!!!!

Everything was ready to go. The boat was ready to set sail. It was a strange boat- made of heavy iron and screws, with large pipes at the top that let out puffs of black smoke and ash. 

“Intimidating, isn’t it?” 

Sokka straightened, pushing his shoulders back. “I’ll be okay. It’s a boat. Well, a ship.” He turned to his sister and the concern on her face. Her eyebrows were knit closely together, as she eyed the ship suspiciously before looking at him. “I’ll write to you to keep you updated.” 

“You’d better,” Katara says. “I hope the crown prince is kind. There’s an odd lack of knowledge on him.” 

Sokka sheathed his sword and took a breath. “I just hope he’s a fast learner so I can come home.” He looked at his sister and pulled her into a hug. “I’ll miss you.” 

“Be careful, Sokka. I love you.” She pulled away and stood back with Gran and their dad, before hugging herself. The rest of the tribe was gathered to see him off, and it took everything for Sokka to take each step up the ramp to the ship. 

The ramp retracted once he was on deck, and he stood at the rail to look at his home one more time. He needed to commit it to memory, so he could hold onto the image when he was homesick. Who knew how long he’d be in the Fire Nation.

He looked out at the glistening snow and the icebergs, the igloos and gray smoke from the fires set up to keep warm inside. He willed himself to recall each shade of white-blue, the faint yellow of the sunlight reflecting. He looked at his tribe, covered in furs and animal skins to stay warm, round-cheeked children watching with wide eyes and wizened gazes from the adults. 

He lifted a hand to wave and everyone began to wave back, shouting encouragement and well-wishes. 

The iron ship was quicker than the wooden boats they had. The tribe quickly became a small speck, and Sokka turned away from it before he could begin to cry. 

“Sokka, would you like to join me for some tea? We can talk about what you should know before we arrive.” 

Sokka turned to look at a short man with white hair and a white beard and kind eyes. He was smiling in such a genuine way, that Sokka found himself nodding and following him down to the cabins. 

“Word of your swordsmanship has made your arrival highly anticipated. Though you should know some things before we dock. Fire Lord Ozai can be brash and rude. He’ll stay out of your way if you stay out of his. Always address him by his title and never look him directly in the eyes. A bow is expected each time you step in front of him and before he leaves the room. You are to be dismissed, never turn your back to him.” 

The man sounded… half mad. Like he expected to be treated like a god. Even so, Sokka knew gods who weren’t so uptight about their rituals. 

“I’m Iroh. I’ve been in charge of my nephew, the crown prince, since he was sixteen.” Sokka wondered why the Fire Lord hadn’t been in charge of his own son. “You will also meet Princess Azula. Most of the rules that apply to the Fire Lord apply to her as well.” 

“Presumably they apply to the prince too?”

At that, Iroh smiled. “No. Prince Zuko is not as pretentious or extravagant as them. Zuko isn’t very taken to teachers. He’s exhausted several swordsmen with his stubbornness and pride. It’s a bit of a personal mission of his to make the Fire Lord’s life a little less than perfect.” Before Sokka could ask why, Iroh continued to speak. “Because of this, you will be introduced to him as a companion to help him prepare for his coronation and marriage. Part of those duties include protecting him, so he won’t be suspicious if you carry your sword.” 

“He’s getting married? How old is he?” 

“He’s betrothed to Lady Mai. Has been since they turned thirteen. Prince Zuko is a few moon cycles away from turning twenty-three.” 

“And he hasn’t learned to sword fight in all that time? Isn’t he a firebender?” 

Iroh’s smile became a little tense as he poured some tea into two cups. He pushed one towards Sokka and kept the other. “The Fire Nation royal family isn’t perfect. There is a past that has made their relationship rather strained. It is my family too, but considering your expected relationship with Prince Zuko, I would prefer if you learned these things from him. It isn’t for me to tell.” 

The way he said it told Sokka it wasn’t a suggestion. The kind old man still carried a sense of royalty with his command. “Okay,” Sokka said. “So I’m a companion. How am I supposed to teach him if he doesn’t know I’m a teacher?” 

Iroh smiled. “That would be for you to figure out!” he said happily. Sokka frowned and hid it by drinking his tea. “Here, Prince Zuko’s daily schedule and a map of the palace. You’ll have to become familiar with them by the time we arrive to be a properly prepared companion.”

The way the word “companion” kept being used unsettled Sokka. He’d heard of the things “companions” had to do for their royals. He wasn’t there to be a servant, he was there to be a teacher. 

Still, he took the scrolls Iroh gave him and tucked them into his coat. 

“We’ll have a small wardrobe more fitting for the climate of the Fire Nation started for you when we arrive. In the meantime, we’ll need to take your measurements. You’ll have a stipend to then get more clothes of your preference and anything else you may want to buy.” 

That part perked him up. A chance to shop at the great Fire Nation was something he wasn’t planning on passing up. He’d heard of the trinkets and bags and food of the Fire Nation. After all, he was going to be there for some time; he may as well find the silver linings of being in a new place. It was a chance to see a little more of the world. 

“Thanks for the tea,” he said. He hadn’t actually had a chance to admire the taste with the uncertainties and questions and rules his mind was preoccupied with. That didn’t stop him from saying, “It was delicious.” 

Iroh grinned proudly. “I’ll have a crew member take you to your cabin. Supper won’t be for a while.” Sokka stood and bowed, but Iroh waved it away. “No need to bow to me, Sokka. Please, get some rest.” 

Again, Sokka wondered why Iroh, a member of the Fire Nation Royals, didn’t seem to follow or be held to the expectations of a royal family member. 

A crew member decked out in a maroon uniform and a helmet led him to a cabin. The bed was made, and there was a small desk with parchments and ink. It was small, but Sokka didn’t plan to spend much time holed up in there. He preferred the open deck where he could feel the saltwater spray on his face and look up at the sky. 

He removed his coat and rolled the scrolls out to read them. 

Despite not being held to the usual prince standards, the crown prince had a busy schedule. Most of it confined him to the palace, and most of the duties were solitary. The more Sokka read, the clearer it became that much of it was busywork. Nothing exactly to bring the crown prince into his role as Fire Lord.

The palace map was fascinating. The palace was large, with several rooms, several floors, and several gardens. Guards were set up in various places with watchtowers, and a wall barricaded it from the rest of the capital city. 

Sokka set to work on piecing together the locations of the activities to the schedule. He used a parchment to write them down, working to commit them to memory. 

The ship took three days to arrive. In those three days, Sokka heard Fire Nation songs sung drunkenly at night, sparred continuously with random crew members, drank more tea with Iroh, and spent the nights laying on the deck to watch the stars. He wrote a letter to Katara the night before they docked to let her know he was nearly there, and of all the rules he was given and how he was being put undercover. Iroh was kind enough to let him use his messenger hawk to send it that morning a short while before docking. 

When he arrived, a group of royal guards escorted him and Iroh to the Fire Nation palace. Sokka didn’t even get a chance to see the stores and other people around the city. He was blocked by the bulking armor until they opened the gates to the palace and let them in. 

The guards parted, flanking them. Sokka followed Iroh as he walked. The palace was spacy. He knew it would be big because of the map but he hadn’t expected this. 

It was vast with a high ceiling, high pillars, and long windows on the walls. It was mostly empty save for the far wall of fire where a throne was placed on an elevated platform. When the door shut, it echoed. As they walked, their footsteps echoed. The crackling of the fire echoed. 

Fire Lord Ozai was seated on the throne, and he stood as they approached. He looked younger than Iroh, which only made Sokka wonder why it wasn’t Iroh on the throne. He reminded himself not to look the Fire Lord in the eyes. 

“Fire Lord Ozai, brother,” Iroh greeted as he got down on one knee to bow. Sokka imitated him. His gravelly voice no longer had that light, playful quality he had grown used to in the last few days. It was serious, low, and heavy. “I bring you Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, skilled swordsman, successor to the Chief.” 

Iroh cast a look at Sokka and he racked his brain for what he was supposed to say. 

“Um. Here to serve you, Fire Lord Ozai,” he said. He grimaced at the crack in his voice that made him sound like he was a teen again. 

“Is he aware of the circumstances?” The Fire Lord’s voice was low and velvety. It boomed and bounced back off the walls. 

“He is,” Iroh assured. 

“Good. His behavior is your responsibility, Iroh. Make sure he is aware of the expectations.” Sokka grit his teeth at the way the Fire Lord spoke as if he wasn’t there. “My son must be able to swordfight in time for his marriage and coronation. He has less than a year. Make sure he doesn’t fail.” 

The way he spoke made Sokka afraid to even ask what would happen if he did fail for some reason. 

The silence that settled over the throne room was heavy. “He will be given to Zuko at dinner. You are both dismissed.” 

Iroh stood and bowed again before walking backwards to exit. Sokka followed suit and finally exhaled when the doors shut again. 

“Well then. You survived that. You’re off to a great start, Sokka,” Iroh said, his voice light and playful again. “Come with me, I’ll show you to your room.” 

“Uh, he said I would be given. I’m not here as a piece of property. I won’t be given to anyone-”

“Excuse the Fire Lord, Sokka. You are here as a guest, I assure you. You will be introduced to my nephew at dinner, and after that you must play your role as a companion until you can figure out how to teach him swordfighting.” 

Sokka pursed his lips. “Why does he need to learn to sword fight so badly? What does it have to do with becoming the firelord and getting married? He’s a firebender, it’s not like he’s helpless.” 

Iroh chuckled and shook his head. “No. Helpless is the last thing I’d associate with Prince Zuko. As the crown prince, he is expected to be able to sword fight as well as firebend. This way he is proven a worthy leader and protector. Most of our men are expected to know some sort of combat skill aside from bending to prove a worthy protector of their families.” Iroh chuckled. “Of course, the women learn combat as well. You should see Lady Mai with her throwing knives.” 

Sokka let out a huff of breath. So it was all symbolic. A sign of strength, a coming of age ritual, a test of worthiness. Not something genuinely crucial or necessary the way ice dodging and hunting are back in the South Pole. 

They went in through a different palace entrance and up a staircase. Iroh led him to a room which had a large bed with posts on the four corners, a long desk, a fireplace, a basin, doors that led to a balcony, and a personal bathroom. There was a chest at the foot of the bed and when Sokka opened it, he saw a variety of clothes. 

“I trust the room is to your liking?” Iroh asked. 

“Yes,” Sokka said. He laughed nervously and shrugged. “Actually if I’m honest, it’s a lot more than I expected. Thank you.” 

Iroh smiled widely, which made Sokka feel a little better about being in such a new place. Iroh had a calming presence about him, and Sokka felt like maybe he didn’t have to pretend to know what he was doing. He didn’t have to pretend to be braver than he felt about being away from home. 

“If you need anything, you can have a guard send for me. Meanwhile, you should have time to settle in and wash up if you’d like to before dinner. I’ll come get you myself.” 

Sokka nodded and Iroh left. He set down his pack and took his things out. His boomerang, some knick-knacks from home, some of his lighter clothes, and the whetstone for his sword. It wasn’t much, but it still helped the room feel a little more personal. He changed into one of the outfits in the chest, surprised with how light the fabric felt. 

A while later, Iroh knocked on his door. Sokka sheathed his sword then let Iroh lead him to the dining hall. When they walked in, Sokka saw a girl sitting beside the Fire Lord- presumably Princess Azula. Across from her was someone who must have been Prince Zuko. 

As the prince turned toward Sokka, he gasped and froze in place.

Walking into the dining room, Sokka only saw his profile. Now that the prince turned to him, Sokka could see the charred skin on the left side of his face. It spread on across his eye, from the arch of where his eyebrow should have been to his cheek, then stretched until it was covered by the swoops of long dark hair. His eye wasn’t exactly closed, but it wasn’t fully open either. Based on the color of the charred skin, it had long since healed as best it could. 

Who would do that to a prince? 

“Come, Sokka,” Iroh said, discreetly tugging him forward. 

Sokka composed himself and followed, standing at the end of the table beside Iroh. The FIre Lord stood and Sokka made a point to look at his robes and not his face. He remembered to bow just before the Fire Lord stood. 

“Zuko, here is the young man who is assigned to you. He will be your companion. He’s here to help you as we get closer to your… coronation and wedding.” The last bit was said with some reluctance, and Sokka looked at the prince, who seemed passive. “Introduce yourself.” 

Sokka felt a brief moment of panic before he pushed his shoulders back. “My name is Sokka. I come from the Water Tribe of the South Pole.” 

There was a brief, very awkward pause before Iroh added, “He is here as a willing companion to you, Prince Zuko.” 

The prince stood, and Sokka let his eyes fall on him. “I welcome you and thank you for your companionship.” His voice had a certain rasp to it, each word crisp and sharp. His words sounded like a command rather than a praise. “Come sit so we can begin dinner.” He gestured to the seat beside him and sat back down. 

Again, the feeling of taking commands irked Sokka, but he also knew that if he acted out then it would reflect on Iroh. He let out a small, frustrated huff, a small act of rebellion in its own way, before sitting beside the prince. Most of his profile was shrouded by his long, dark hair, and every small movement seemed calculated.

Iroh sat across from them beside the princess. Her gaze was cold. She had this smile on her red lips like she knew something Sokka didn’t. It was smug and taunting, and though Sokka had no idea what it was about, it angered him. His instincts told him to stay as far from the princess as possible. 

Back home, meals consisted of the tribe coming together to pile up the hunt of the day or whatever they’d fished for the day. They would cook it over a series of fires, doubling as a way to keep them warm. They’d make sure the children didn’t play too close to the fire or on thin ice. The adults would drink some fermented thing that left them buzzed as they talked and joked and told stories- about their ancestors hundreds of years ago or about something that happened the week before. Usually Sokka was at his father’s side, and most of the time he and Katara ended up bickering in their usual way until she doused him with ice water. He’d forgive her immediately, then proceed to prank her any chance he got. Then they’d all eat, carrying a variety of conversations, smiling through the cold winds and staying huddled close. 

This was nothing like that. Not in the amount of people, or the food, or the conversations, or the ambience. The Fire Nation royals were silent as they ate, as if the others didn’t exist. Prince Zuko kept his eyes on his plate. The Fire Lord only looked forward, head held high. It gave off a sense of superiority. Princess Azula seemed observant. Her eyes flickered to those around her, but she didn’t seem uneasy at all. Iroh seemed unfazed as well, but his smile was gone. He kept looking at Zuko and at Sokka as he ate. Around them, there were guards, still as statues as they held their weapons. 

The food was different. The meat was tougher, there was an assortment of vegetables he didn’t recognize, a strange gravy over it all. It wouldn’t have bothered Sokka if it wasn’t for the way it made his tongue burn. After a few bites, his mouth felt like it was on fire, closing in on itself. The sting traveled to his throat, sending him into a fit of coughing that resulted in three pairs of indifferent amber eyes settling on him. 

Sokka covered his mouth, but he was unable to get a grip on himself. 

“Drink,” Iroh said, pushing a cup towards him. It smelled sharp and when he drank, it tasted tart. Still, it soothed the fire in his mouth and finally reduced his coughing. 

“More spice than you’re used to?” the prince asked, returning to his plate. 

“Just a tiny bit,” Sokka said in defeat. To his surprise, he saw a slight quirk at the corner of the prince’s lips. The tiniest of smiles which left as quickly as it appeared. 

“We’ll get you a different plate,” Iroh said. He waved a guard over, but Sokka shook his head. 

“No, it’s fine. I’ll get used to it. I just wasn’t expecting it to be that… intense.” The princess looked at him with a quirked brow and a smirk that raised the hair on the back of his neck. The Fire Lord only let out an exasperated sigh before he returned to his food. 

Sokka realized that if he pushed aside most of the gravy, the spice was a bit more tolerable. The drink he’d been given helped when he needed breaks in between. 

Once Sokka had finished eating, the prince stood and turned to his father. “May we be dismissed?” 

The Fire Lord gave a disinterested nod of his head. The prince bowed and turned to Sokka expectantly. Sokka stood and bowed awkwardly before following the prince. 

He looked over his shoulder at Iroh who was still at the table. He had a smile as he gave a slight nod of encouragement. 

The second the doors to the dining hall closed, the prince’s rigid posture and measured steps disappeared. He let his arms fall to his sides as his shoulders slouched and walked faster. Just like that he seemed younger than he did just a few seconds ago. Maybe younger wasn’t the right word; he just seemed less…  _ royal.  _

“How did my uncle find you?” he asked, turning his head slightly, though not quite looking at Sokka. Away from the Fire Lord, his sharpness of his tone had disappeared, letting him sound far more approachable. “There’s plenty of people in the city who would be willing to be a companion for me. Why get someone from all the way down at the Southern Water Tribe?” 

Of course, it was all up to Sokka to keep the secret, all up to him to think on his feet and improvise a believable story. “My application looked best,” he said simply. 

The prince stopped in his tracks and spun around to look at Sokka who barely managed to stop in time before crashing into him. “You’re witty.” Sokka smiled indulgently. “I hope you know when to hold your tongue.” 

The comment made Sokka narrow his eyes as the prince resumed his brisk pace. “Where are we going?” 

“Nowhere. Did you want to stay in that suffocating dining hall?” Sokka shook his head, and Zuko returned his gaze to the path in front of him. “You’ll have to be at my side most hours of the day. You can be on your own once I go to bed and if I’m in a meeting.” Sokka grit his teeth. “Do you know the duties of a companion?” 

Sokka clenched his jaw before answering. “To help facilitate your daily activities, help prepare you for the day and any festivities, and keep you safe…. And do anything else that you may ask of me with absolute discretion.” Sokka’s cheeks colored at that. He was here to be a teacher, and he’d been belittled to so much less, charged with so much more. What exactly could he have said now? What exactly was the penalty for turning your back on the Fire Nation? 

His response made the prince’s eyes narrow. “You shouldn’t worry about the last one. I’m not like that. I would never force someone to do something they didn’t want to or hold my power over someone in that way. It’s also a misconception. That’s only happened a handful of times over the course of the Fire Nation’s rule. Most anyone who had a companion kept a professional relationship.”

“Okay. Well, I do want to get one thing straight, Prince Zuko-”

“You don’t have to avoid looking at me.” It sounded like a dare. Like he wondered if Sokka had the guts to look him in the eyes. To look directly at his face, at his burn. 

Iroh did say the prince didn’t exactly follow the rigid rules his father and sister did. So he let his gaze come up from the robes to those eerie yellow eyes- almost translucent as they reflected the sunset. “Prince Zuko,” Sokka continued, “I am not a slave. I am not a servant or a guard dog. Companion is another word for friend. And I would appreciate it if you didn’t treat me like I’m below you. While I don’t expect us to be friends easily, I don’t want to be bossed around. I want to help, not be used.” 

The prince’s lips curved into a smile so slowly, Sokka didn’t realize he was doing it until he was fully smiling. “You’re not afraid to speak for yourself,” the prince noted. “You’re right. You’re here to help me ease into my new duties. I won’t treat you like a servant. I can’t say the same for my father and sister.” 

“I’m not their companion. I’m yours.” 

Prince Zuko hummed and continued to walk, this time at a more leisurely pace beside Sokka. “I haven’t had much practice making friends.” 

“I would think it isn’t hard for a prince.” 

The prince pursed his lips and hesitated before deciding against whatever he was going to say. They walked in silence and Sokka tried to place himself on the mental map in his memory. Everything was so much bigger than the proportions on the map led him to expect. 

Above them the sky was a red-orange color, slowly shifting into cooler colors where a soft dark blue began to seep across like spilled ink. “The sunset here is pretty. Back home it doesn’t set for a long time. Then it doesn’t rise for a long time. You see this every day?”

Prince Zuko looked up at the sky. “Yes. I guess I never really appreciated it much. I didn’t think there was a place that didn’t have daily sunsets. You’d like the dawn too. Maybe one day we can watch them both from a higher tower so the walls don’t block your view.” 

“That would be nice,” Sokka said. “See, you’re not too bad at this friend thing.” 

The prince spared him a glance before shaking his head goodnaturedly. “Uncle will arrive at your room in the morning before we need to meet. I usually eat my breakfast by the pond, so I’ll be there. Is the room okay? Do you need anything else?” 

Just before he could say no, he recalled his plans to write to Katara. He didn’t want to borrow Iroh’s hawk every time. “Could I get a messenger hawk to write to my sister?” 

Prince Zuko’s eyebrow quirked up momentarily. “Of course. You’ll have your own by tomorrow evening.” They pushed through another set of doors, before they continued to walk down familiar hallways. The place Iroh had taken him to, but apparently from a different entrance. “Do you have any questions for me?” 

“Not at the moment, but I’m sure I will.” 

The prince didn’t answer as they walked through the halls until they reached the corridor Sokka recognized better- entirely due to the burn mark over a torch that looked like a fish with its tail pointed upwards. They stopped in front of Sokka’s room. The prince regarded him curiously. “Uncle told you.” 

“Told me what?” Sokka asked, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“About my burn.” 

“Oh. No, actually. He didn’t. I didn’t know you had one until I saw you at dinner.” 

The prince frowned and stepped back. “Why haven’t you asked about it, then?” 

Sokka shrugged. “We’ll have a lot of time to become friends. I figured you’d tell me when you wanted to. If you wanted to.” 

They stood looking at each other in silence. The prince’s posture wasn’t proper the way it was when he was around the Fire Lord, and his tone of voice wasn’t as rigid and professional. Still, the expression on his face made him age a bit. 

Finally, he simply nodded and said, “Sleep well, Sokka,” then turned away without even giving Sokka a chance to return the words. 

He went into his room and sat down at the desk. There was no light coming in through the windows anymore, but there was a torch lit, which cast flickering shadows against the wall. Sokka used it to light the torch near the desk before he sat down. 

_ Hair Loopies-  _

_ Things are already strange here. The royal family doesn’t seem like family in the slightest. The heat makes me sweat immediately even though the clothes here are made with fabric so light you can feel the wind against your skin when it blows. The palace grounds are bigger than we imagined. But at the same time it feels bleaker. Everything seems lonely. I miss the sound of laughter and children playing. I miss the sound of Gran singing. I miss following Dad around. I even miss you yelling at me.  _

_ I’m also playing a role. Though I came to teach, I don’t have a chance to until I gain the prince’s trust. He doesn’t like teachers and refuses to listen to them, so he thinks I’m a companion to help him with princely duties to prepare for his marriage and coronation. When I first met the family, I thought it would be difficult considering how sullen they are. But the prince seems different. He seems to be playing a role too. A perfect prince in front of the Fire Lord, but a tired one when he’s away from their scrutiny.  _

_ I think he likes me. I made him smile twice. I’m good at making people laugh, so maybe becoming friends will be easy and I’ll be able to teach him quickly and go home. Though now I’m worried that if I become his friend, I’ll be sad to leave. Not sad enough to stay, but sad enough to feel guilty. Anyway, when I go back, I’m going to take some of the cooking ingredients and spices- they’re so different. I choked in front of the Fire Lord, Katara. It was horrible.  _

_ I have a comfortable room, and I was promised to be treated well, so don’t worry too much. I know you tend to do that. If you do worry, you should worry that when I get back I’ll be spoiled and expect a full bed and warm weather and daily sunsets. This place could never beat home, though. I’m a little scared I’ll lose myself. Everyone here is so serious, and I’m not sure how often we’ll have to play the “perfect prince” act. I have no one to prank, no children to entertain with silly stories and faces, and no one would understand my jokes because they don’t know the South Pole. Prepare yourself to welcome back a boring brother. I’ll be counting on you to snap me out of it.  _

_ Tell the kids I miss them. Be sure to take them sledding for me. Give Gran and Dad a hug for me. I can’t wait to hear from you.  _

_ Oldest, bestest, wisest, _

_ Sokka _


	2. About Subtleties in Observations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the feedback so far, everyone! It means a lot and I'm really glad you all seem as excited as me.
> 
> I respond to all comments, and they all mean so much to me so please drop a comment and/or share with other zukka shippers! I'm also linking a playlist I'm building for this fic, but I definitely need more. If you have ideas.... hit me up! 
> 
> Lastly, feel free to come talk to me on Tumblr @i-write-shakespeare-not-disney  
> Thank you all and happy reading!!!

[Story Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7DcWjoZvEwMo2C2aqkLQsA?si=bGoTFu2YQNGv9oXA84PPwg)

_Flipper Ears,_

_Dad and Gran send greetings. We all miss you. It’s been strange without you being here. I’m really happy to hear that you’re safe and comfortable. Although it’s strange that you have to be a teacher undercover. Is the prince spoiled? It doesn’t seem fair that he gets to act out and it causes you to be away for longer. I hope you’re getting fair compensation for the extra work you have to take on._

_As for counting on me to snap you out of any spoiled expectations and sullen demeanors, I think I’ll have no problem doing that. In fact, I look forward to it! The Fire Nation sounds interesting with it’s violent food and warmth. The kids are asking for more descriptions and stories about the city and the palace. I told them about you choking in front of the Fire Lord and we couldn’t get them to stop laughing._

_Don’t worry about their entertainment; they like watching me waterbend and we’ve been developing a game for it. It isn’t the same without you, but I’m doing my best._

_We came across some tiger seals the other day and it reminded me of the time you got chased by one because you slipped and scared them. Dad and the others managed to safely nudge them further from our igloos. Your bird is very cute, but he bites until we give him a piece of meat as a thank you for the scroll. Just a warning._

_Forever the favorite,_

_Katara_

Sokka stared at the small bleeding cuts on his hand and then at his bird who squawked indignantly. “So that’s your deal.” He grabbed a piece of soft meat from the platter they had set in front of them for breakfast. It had a sweet-tasting glaze over it and had been cut in squares. The hawk took it and finally settled down. 

The prince turned away from the scroll he’d been reading to look at Sokka questioningly. 

“The hawk bites until he’s compensated for delivering a scroll. My sister decided that information could wait for the end of her letter.” He held up his hand, covered in the nicks his hawk had left. 

A smile spread on the prince’s face before he reached out to pet the hawk. “I have some ointments for that. Come on.” He stood up and Sokka followed behind him. 

They walked to the prince’s room. Sokka thought his room was big, but Prince Zuko’s room was… maybe three times the size of it. He had a larger bed, a long table in front of the balcony doors with several bottles of varying sizes, a strange cushioned chair at the foot of the bed, a fancier chair across from that, a desk, and a series of shelves with many scrolls. Sokka also noticed a big steel wardrobe, opened to reveal flowing robes. Along the walls hung crossed double-blades, a sword, a blue kabuki mask, and a few portraits. 

The prince walked over to the long table while Sokka looked at the decorations, at everything that made the room personal for the prince. There was one portrait with the prince and Iroh where Prince Zuko had slightly rounder cheeks and an angry expression. 

“Sokka.” 

Sokka turned to see the prince holding out a cloth. He walked over to him and let the prince wipe away the tiny beads of blood. Then, Prince Zuko dabbed a clear ointment over the bites. “They’ll heal quickly. That’s just so they don’t get infected.” 

Sokka held his hand to his nose and sniffed. “Oh!” He grimaced. “That doesn’t smell nice.” 

Zuko let out a soft laugh, breathy and quiet. It was the first time he’d gotten the prince to laugh. “No, it doesn’t. It’s made from the gel of an aloe vera plant. It smells horrible, but it helps with healing and disinfecting.” 

“Alright then. So, Prince Zuko, what’s the schedule for today?” 

It seemed that Sokka had learned the schedule in vain because the prince seemed to like taking liberties with his duties. He rarely came in contact with his father and sister, and when they did it was to eat, and his demeanor would change. Aside from that, he usually did as he pleased. Instead of reading the history of the past rulers in the stuffy storage room where they kept the scrolls, he took the scrolls and walked around, lounging across the grass as he read. Instead of practicing the royal duties he had inside the palace, he simply… didn’t do them. The Fire Lord didn’t seem to care. 

The only thing he attended properly and at his scheduled time were his meetings with Iroh, meant to help him learn about the accounts of battles and wars and military strategy. That always ended with a cup of tea, which Sokka usually joined them for. His favorite place to wander around were the royal palace gardens. He sat under the shade of a tree and dipped his feet in the pond, letting Sokka go where he wanted while he sat there. Once, Sokka returned to check on him only to find him juggling fireballs. 

It was the first and only time he’d seen him firebend.

“Today we need to go out to the city. Uncle told me he gave you some coins to spend on things you’d like.” 

“Shopping, then?” Sokka asked with a grin. “Today’s going to be a good day.” 

The prince straightened his shoulders, and his eyes became cold and calculating. “I’m hurt. Have the past days been bad with my company?” 

“No! No, no, no, Prince Zuko, I just meant-”

The expression melted away immediately. His laughter cut Sokka off, making the prince dip his head forward which caused his long hair to spill over his shoulders like heavy curtains. It was still a reserved laugh, but it was louder than the soft laughter Sokka had heard before. 

“I’m joking,” the prince said with a trace of a smile. “You’re easy to tease.” 

“Oh, _I’m_ easy to tease?” Sokka asked as the prince walked past him to the wardrobe. “You’re the one with a pointy headpiece, you know?” Sokka sat down on the seat at the foot of the bed. “Do you know how to use those?” 

As the prince looked back at him, Sokka pointed to the weapons on the wall. He shrugged and removed the robe he had, leaving him in a thin shirt and baggy pants. Without the robe, he looked- well, younger. The smallest differences made the prince look younger. “A bit. I’ve never been properly trained, but I can defend myself.” 

“My dad taught me,” Sokka said, patting the hilt of his sword. “Do you want to learn?” 

The prince frowned and looked between Sokka and the swords. Then he grabbed a pouch and gestured toward the door. “Let’s go.”

Confused, Sokka followed the prince. They stopped at Sokka’s to get his coins and leave the hawk, then they went outside, walking around the castle to a different entrance in the wall around the palace which let them come out onto a lone road. They walked down it at a leisurely pace. 

“Shouldn’t guards be with you?” 

“The citizens are my people. I shouldn’t need guards to be around them. How can I expect to rule the Fire Nation then go and barricade myself from them with a wall of guards?” 

“There were guards around me and Iroh when we arrived at the palace.” 

The prince shrugged. “My uncle was a general in a war, and misconceptions have made some love him while others dislike him. It’s safer for him- and for you when you first arrived. My father and sister have whole processions of guards flanking them when they leave the walls. What Uncle has is modest.” Before Sokka could ask something else, Prince Zuko turned to him and asked, “What do you like to shop for? Does your tribe have shops?” 

“No, our tribe is pretty self-sufficient. Some of the adults sail to bring back food when it’s scarce or simply trade any surplus of furs and food and oils when other places need them. My father would go often when I was younger, and he’d always return with things for me and Katara.” Sokka smiled and patted his pouch. “Now it’s my turn to stock up on things to take to them.” 

Prince Zuko smiled and nodded. They walked on in silence, until they reached a busier part of town. People walking along the same road sometimes recognized the prince and greeted him with smiles. Clearly, the people liked him. Though Sokka noticed people didn’t call him “Prince Zuko.” They didn’t call him anything.

After walking a bit more and noticing that no one seemed to fuss over the prince’s presence, Sokka pulled the prince aside and looked him in the eyes. “They don’t know who you are do they?” 

His words caused him to clench his jaw and slowly perfect his posture to the one he used around the Fire Lord. “We’re not friends yet, Sokka. You shouldn’t grab me like that.” 

“Why don’t they know? How could they not know?” 

Once the prince realized Sokka wasn’t planning on letting up, he sighed and let his shoulders drop. “It’s a long story. Let’s enjoy the day, okay?” Without waiting for a reply, Prince Zuko continued down the path, blending in easily with the people. 

With a sigh, Sokka followed after him. “What are we here for?” 

“I need to restock on scrolls and ink. I’ve also been craving some dumpling from a stand I frequent.” The prince wasn’t looking at him. His gaze was very pointedly turned to the opposite direction as he pretended to be intrigued by the people walking around. His tone had taken on a cold quality, brisk and curt. 

Sokka didn’t respond. 

The prince seemed to know each spot he needed to go to in the city. He stopped at one shop to get some herbs for Iroh, then stopped at another to get more jars and vials of ointments and oils, then to a stationary shop to get several long parchments and little bottles of ink. At every stop, he greeted the shopkeeper with a slight smile and respectful nod. 

It jarred Sokka a bit to realize he could tell that the smile was strained. That it was fake, not out of disrespect to the shopkeepers or any indifference, but because the prince’s mind was elsewhere. It was a smile to maintain a facade. Sokka had seen his genuine smiles, however small and fleeting they usually were. He always looked down for a brief second when they were real, like his smile was a secret.

Had it been Sokka who upset him, or was due to whatever reason the people didn’t know who he was? 

“Is there anything you’d like to buy? I have everything I came for.” 

Sokka shrugged. “I could go for those dumplings you mentioned.” 

Prince Zuko nodded and led him down the streets until they got busier, with more people set up outside to sell things. There was a little stand on a corner which looked wavy in the distance due to the heat of the day and the heat from the large cauldron. When they reached the stand, the air around it felt hotter and wetter, causing it to weigh down on Sokka. He wondered how the man making the dumplings managed in the heat. 

“Your usual, boy?” the man asked with a kind and crooked smile. 

“Double the usual, please,” Prince Zuko said. “Is your daughter doing better?” 

“Yes, much better. You’ll never believe it- a healer from the palace came. They said they’d been sent on General Iroh’s orders. I don’t know when he saw Chiara, but the healer worked wonders. She’s back to running through the streets and playing fireball with her cousins.” 

“How lucky,” Prince Zuko said. This time, Sokka caught the little look down before he smiled. Sokka reminded himself to keep his face passive and clamped his lips shut. 

The man smiled and handed over two small woven baskets filled with dumplings. “Here you go, boy. Enjoy!” 

“Thank you. Have a good rest of your day.” The prince placed a handful of coins into his hand. “Keep the extra. Get Chiara a gift to celebrate her health for me.” 

“May the spirits bless you and protect you well, boy,” the man said softly, an expression of shock and gratitude on his face. 

Prince Zuko handed Sokka one of the baskets then began to walk. Sokka watched the prince carefully, waiting until they were a distance away. “How is it you came to be so different from your father and sister?” 

“How do you know what Azula’s like?” the prince asked through a mouthful of dumpling. They sat down on the ledge of a dry fountain, taking refuge in the shade it granted.

Sokka shrugged. “When Iroh gave me the rules about being here, he said the two couldn’t be looked in the eyes and it was best to stay out of their way. At the first dinner, I could tell it was in my best interest to listen to his advice. But you’re not like them. You’re gentler.” 

The prince met Sokka’s eyes. “Weaker, then.” 

“No,” Sokka said sharply. “Having a good heart isn’t a weakness.” 

“It is in the Fire Nation. To my father.” The prince shrugged. “I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will never be what he wants me to be. I don’t want to.” After a pause, the prince gestured at the dumplings. “Eat, or they’ll get cold.” 

Sokka pursed his lips but put a dumpling in his mouth. As he bit down, a burst of flavors made his eyes widen. Beside him, Prince Zuko laughed softly. They were still hot, so Sokka struggled to chew and let out the steaming heat at the same time, but the taste was worth it. They were a little spicy, but it was on the tamer side considering the rest of the Fire Nation cuisine. 

“Good, isn’t it?” 

“These are incredible!” Sokka covered his mouth and let himself breathe, looking at Prince Zuko with his own smile. “No offense but this is better than anything we’ve eaten at the palace.” 

“Oh, I know. It’s why I try to come here weekly.” The prince popped another dumpling in his mouth and chewed as he looked at the people wandering past them. 

The people paid no attention to them. Maybe one spared a glance, but two young men eating dumplings didn’t warrant much intrigue. Sokka would have thought that the prince was used to people cheering his name, staring at him with wonder, hoping to get closer to him. 

“Is it lonely?” Sokka asked. The prince looked at him, waiting for Sokka to elaborate. “Coming here and knowing that no one knows who you are.” 

“ _You_ know.” 

Sokka frowned and shook his head. “You know what I mean.” 

That made Prince Zuko sigh. He let his gaze wander and shrugged. “I’m used to solitude. I enjoy it. Coming here, I’m not alone, but I’m not expected to be someone I’m not either. I get to see what the people are like, what they think without them pretending for the sake of royalty. It isn’t lonely…. It’s calming. Knowing there’s something bigger out here than what I’m used to within the palace.” He spoke softly so only Sokka could hear. He pushed back the thick hair that had fallen over his shoulder and stretched out his legs. “Though it is rather hot.” 

He set his dumplings aside then twirled his hair so it twisted into a bun before maneuvering a clip into it that would hold it in place. Sokka kept eating and decided he would wait for further questions. He let himself watch the city life, tried to commit moments and images to memory so he could tell Katara about it in his next letter. 

“Are you anxious?” the prince asked suddenly. 

“What? Why?” 

His amber gaze fell to Sokka’s hip. “Your grip on your sword. Like you’re expecting to need it soon.”

“Oh. No. I’m just thinking of home.” He unclipped the sheath from his hip to show the prince the hilt. “My father and another tribe member helped me make it. My sister painted it. It’s a nice reminder of home.” Sokka pointed at places with vague indents. “It had little carvings, but they’ve gotten smoothed over with use.” 

“How long have you had that sword?” 

“Since I was fifteen. I guess I hold onto it when I’m homesick.”

The prince nodded then asked, “Is there a lot of war in the South Pole?” 

Sokka smiled and shook his head. “No. I don’t know if it’s the cold, but we’re all pretty close and secluded except for the fauna.” The prince stared at him, and Sokka shrugged off the failure of his joke. “Well, my tribe isn’t too big. We mostly focus on fishing and hunting. We have warriors in case of an invasion, but we haven’t had one in nearly a century. And we have an expedition group which sails off to trade. My dad’s the chief so he leads all of that. When I turned sixteen, I was able to stand in as chief when he was gone.” 

“How old are you?” 

“Twenty-one.” 

The prince nodded and ate his final dumpling. Once he was done, he nonchalantly mused, “Now why would a chief’s son travel so far to become a prince’s companion?” 

Sokka turned to him, racking his brain for a way to explain or an excuse, but the prince simply stood and gathered his things. Figuring it may be smarter to stay quiet, Sokka only followed. 

By the time they returned to the palace, Sokka had talked himself in circles. He had no idea how he was supposed to teach the prince to sword fight without giving himself away especially when he seemed so suspicious already. Each time he thought he made progress getting closer to him, Prince Zuko would change his demeanor and suddenly have the upper hand, taking Sokka back to square one. 

Then again, Sokka had only known the crown prince for a handful of days. Not enough time at all to really become a person’s friend. He would have no problem meeting the deadline of little less than a year, but he wanted to go home. He’d planned to stay a couple moon cycles, enough time to help the prince gain enough skill without necessarily being perfect. Clearly, that wasn’t going to happen. Especially if Sokka kept stumbling over himself. 

“I’m going to see my uncle,” Prince Zuko said. “You’re free to do as you’d like; I’ll come for you later.” Sokka nodded and barely managed a slight bow before the prince walked away. 

Sokka went to the gardens and submerged his feet in the pond, relishing the coolness. He splashed his face and sighed as he let his legs wade deeper. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Zuzu?” a sharp, amused voice said. Sokka stood up quickly and turned to see the princess watching him from the walkway. She tilted her head as she examined her fingernails. “Father won’t be too happy to know you’ve been slacking.” 

Sokka bowed and tried to compose himself. “Princess Azula. Your brother said I was free while he met with General Iroh.” 

Princess Azula scoffed. “Have you made any progress?” 

Sokka grit his teeth and shook his head. “No, your grace.” 

It was quiet for a moment, and Sokka lifted his gaze only to find the princess much closer, inspecting him. He averted his eyes and took a steadying breath. “It’s a lost cause,” she said simply. “Zuzu isn’t made for ruling. But Father is tied to traditions.” Sokka didn’t reply. “What do you think will happen to you when his trial day arrives and he can’t fight?” 

“Trial day?” 

The princess smiled. Wicked and cold, calculating. “You haven’t been told much.” She hummed and took a breath like she was reveling in the moment. “Take my advice, southerner. Go home while you can.” 

“Prince Zuko can firebend. Even if he can’t sword-”

“My brother disgraces firebending,” the princess snapped. “He’s always lacked the skill and power of firebenders. He’s weak. He doesn’t deserve Mai, and his reign will bring the nation to ruins.” 

Sokka clenched his jaw, desperately wanting to throw what he’d seen that day in her face. His humility, his affection for the citizens, the love the citizens have for the nameless boy who frequents their shops. The prince was more worthy of ruling than anyone else Sokka had met in the Fire Nation. But he held his tongue. Lashing out at the princess would be a death sentence. 

“I’ll be sure to tell the Fire Lord about your progress. Give this to Zuzu. I can never find him where he’s supposed to be.” She held out a scroll. 

Sokka took it and nodded. The princess turned away from him, leaving Sokka to grip the scroll in his hand. He sighed and made a mental note to have a solid plan that would help him get his job done. He couldn’t keep improvising. 

With the pressure and the weight of useless frustration, Sokka moved to a space with a wider clearing and unsheathed his sword. 

He got into his stance and took a deep breath. He hadn't practiced in a long time, so he would have to warm up first. It was simple, a few repeated movements that helped a satisfying burn spread through his shoulders and arms. Once the movements were in his muscles again, he swung his sword, attacking an invisible opponent as he moved. 

The steps flowed through him easily, familiar enough to move without pause or rigidity. His swings were quick and vicious, but his body maintained control, letting the energy flow.

In the middle of another set of swings, he heard, "I've never seen anyone sword fight like that." 

Sokka released the stance and lowered his sword. He turned to see Iroh and the prince watching him from the shade of the tree. Prince Zuko was wearing a royal robe again. Sokka twirled the sword before sheathing it. 

"I needed an outlet," Sokka explained. The prince tilted his head a small fraction, but said nothing. 

"Yes, being restrained to these walls must be stressful," Iroh said. "If it interests you, there's a study near my room should you ever want to occupy your mind." Sokka smiled and nodded. "I'll have the tea sent up, Prince Zuko." 

"Thank you, Uncle." The stout man nodded at Sokka then left. The prince turned to Sokka and studied him carefully. "Did I do something to upset you?" he asked. 

"What? No. It's not you…. Your sister found me." The prince remained impassive, and Sokka glared at the ground. "She belittles you." 

"She's my little sister." 

"It's not sibling banter," he said, his agitation exposing itself in the sharpness of his tone. "What's your trial day?" 

Prince Zuko sighed. "Before my coronation, before I'm suited for marriage, my father will choose an opponent for me to face in an agni kai." Sokka furrowed his eyebrows, but before he could ask, the prince explained. "It's a duel won when one person burns the other. Winning means honor. For a prince, honor is worthiness for the crown." 

"Okay so-" Sokka stopped himself before asking why he needed to sword fight in an agni kai. Asking would expose him. He would have to ask Iroh when he had the chance. "She thinks your firebending isn't up to par. The way she speaks of you-" 

"Is nothing I haven't heard." The prince smiled reassuringly. "Would you like to watch the sunset? It starts soon. I did promise I'd take you to see it."

Sokka opened his mouth, but was stunned into silence. He didn't understand the calm demeanor. Still, he nodded and followed Prince Zuko. 

As they walked, he recalled the scroll the princess had given him and pulled it out of the pocket in his pants. "She gave me this for you." 

Prince Zuko took the scroll and read as he maneuvered the walls. Then he hummed and rolled it back up. Sokka wanted to ask, but he didn't want to be nosy. Maybe the prince could tell because he turned to Sokka and said, "Lady Mai will be visiting in a fortnight. She's a childhood friend." 

"Your betrothed." 

The prince smiled. "Yes, that too. This way." He led Sokka up a staircase then opened a door that opened to a watchtower. 

"Shouldn't a watchman be here?" 

"They've made higher posts that allow a wider scan." The prince pointed to a series of platforms connected to the corners of the palace. "We haven't needed to use this one in a long time." 

The prince leaned against the railing and looked out. Sokka stood beside him and took in the view. 

Small ocean waves splashed up against the bottom of the tower. The water glittered, reflecting the sunlight. The sky had turned a shade of pink mixed with red-orange as the sun lowered. 

They were above the palace walls, so Sokka could see more of the sky and more of the landscape than he could since he arrived. The streets were lit by lanterns, and the houses reflected the sunset with the golden shingles on the roofs. The entire city looked red, but it still managed to look peaceful. Sokka could see the glow from fires inside the houses flickering out their windows. 

In the time he'd taken to observe the city, the sky had morphed. It looked redder, no longer pink and yellow. The other side of the sky looked dark blue with streaks of purple. 

"This is breathtaking," Sokka said. "I love the sunset back home too, but it's so different when it reflects off ice. It feels more drastic here." 

"I'm partial to the sunrise," the prince said. "It feels softer. Cool winds saying goodbye just before the heat settles in." 

"I can never wake up early enough for a sunrise," Sokka said with a laugh. "Not on my own account." 

Silence settled between them. At one point, a servant came up with a tray of tea and fruits, and they ate without speaking, enjoying the stillness of the world. 

It wasn't until stars twinkled above them and darkness shrouded the sky that Prince Zuko spoke again. "I do plan on explaining. The burn, the citizens, the trial, my sister. I know things are confusing right now. I just want to hold off a bit more." 

"You don't owe me anything, Prince Zuko. Friendship isn't rushed." 

The prince smiled, but this one was familiar in a different way. A ghost, an echo of his sister's smile. "Yes, I suppose I'm not the only one with secrets after all. In due time, right?" Sokka didn't respond. He only held his gaze. "I should go to bed. Do you know your way to your room?" 

Sokka shook his head then followed sheepishly as the prince gestured for him to follow. With a short goodnight, the prince left Sokka at his room and went on his way. 

Inside his room, the torches were already lit. Sokka opened the balcony doors to allow a draft before sitting at his desk and setting up a parchment and quill. 

_Pudge-Face,_

_I'm glad our home hasn't fallen apart in my absence. Not that I expected it. With you and Dad and Gran, the tribe can do nothing but flourish._

_Before I left, you said you hoped the crown prince was kind. I'm happy to announce that he is. He has a kind, considerate heart. No one could be more worthy of the crown, though it seems his family- with the exception of his uncle- doesn't share my sentiments. He's still hard to read, but I think becoming his friend won't have to be an act. We aren't friends yet, and both of us seem to hide things from the other, but his company isn't unbearable (like yours)._

_We went to the city today. The people here love the prince without knowing it. The Fire Nation citizens aren't so different from ours. The children play in the streets and many of them know each other well. Though the layout is different. There are fountains and lanterns along the streets. I wish I could bring you with me to see them._

_If there's anything you want me to look for, tell me. There are so many shops, I'm sure I'll find things. I might even make something to take back for all of you. I'll do my best to document the city for the kids._

_I miss you and everyone back home more with each passing sunset. Write to me, even if only to say what everyone had for dinner._

_The inimitable, chiseled, and handsome,_

_Explorer Sokka_


	3. About the Possibilities in Laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for your comments and support!!!! They mean the world to me and I'm so glad everyone is as excited as I am about this story♡

_ Dearest darling brother, _

_ Could you find me a bracelet with gems or stones from the fire nation and a set of new beads for my hair? Gran says she’d like a new coat- if they offer those in the Fire Nation. Dad says not to worry, but he’s been needing a new spear.  _

_ I’m a little confused. Why do you say they love him without knowing it? I’m glad he’s a good person. That eases my worries about your safety. It sounds like a pretty place, and I do envy you for getting a chance to see it. I’d ask to visit you, but your account of the other royal family members unsettles me, and I’m needed here. Fish have been scarce, even with waterbending. I’m hoping it’s only a matter of changing fishing locations.  _

_ If you don’t annoy the crown prince with your rambles and bizarre drawings, then I think you’ll gain his friendship easily. You’ve always been gifted with charisma. I only hope that it won’t lead to guilt like you said in your first letter. The budding friendship should encourage honesty. You might consider telling him the truth, and letting him know you plan on returning home. Maybe he’ll be more open to learning from you and sharing his own secrets.  _

_ For dinner we had seaweed noodles with arctic hen.  _

_ Your adoring sister who would love new mittens as well,  _

_ Katara _

He’d read the letter several times over under the torchlight. The lack of fish worried him; it was the staple food of his tribe. But overfishing could be solved by turning to other foods for some time, and he knew his family would be able to manage the problem. 

It was the comment on honesty that left Sokka uncertain. Iroh said he was expected to remain under the facade of a companion, and Sokka wasn’t sure if he’d receive a penalty for going against that order. He also wasn’t sure if exposing himself now would bring the prince closer or push him further away. The alternative was befriending him and later admitting their friendship had been founded on false pretenses, which seemed like a perfect way to destroy anything they managed to build.

Then again, it seemed the prince already suspected  _ something.  _

He sighed and grabbed a torch to light his way. He’d worked hard to memorize the many halls in the palace, and he figured he could find Iroh’s room. He knocked, hoping that he didn’t have such horrible luck that he’d stumbled across the Fire Lord’s room. 

Thankfully, when the door opened, it was Iroh who opened. “Sokka?” Sokka bowed. “Did you need something?” 

“I have questions. And you’re hard to find if you’re not with the prince.” 

An amused smile spread on Iroh’s face and he gestured for Sokka to go inside. Similar to the prince’s room, Iroh had several pieces of furniture, and various things hung up to make the room personal. 

“Make yourself comfortable,” Iroh said, gesturing to one of the chairs. “You do know I can’t answer everything. Some things are for my nephew to answer.” 

Sokka nodded. “I know. But I can’t ask him myself. You said he needed to sword fight as a test of worthiness, of being ready to receive his crown and marry. But he told me he needs to fight in an agni kai. An agni kai is all fire, so why the sword fighting?” 

“Prince Zuko must go through several trials in order to be deemed worthy of his place as the next Fire Lord. From close combat- such as sword fighting- to long distance with his firebending. He will also have to prove his knowledge on his kingdom by appearing before the elders and being interrogated.” 

None of it made sense. The point of royal families was that they were born into power; they inherited it. The crown was the prince’s birth right. Just as becoming the next chief was Sokka’s. “Do all the heirs have to go through a vigorous trial like that?” 

The question made Iroh’s expression darken. It looked like the lines on his face had deepened, a shadow cast over his eyes. “No.” 

When he refused to elaborate, Sooka sighed in frustration. “That’s something he’ll have to explain, isn’t it?” 

Iroh nodded once, and walked to his window. When he turned back around to face Sokka, he was smiling again. “Though I hear you’re making tremendous progress in befriending my nephew!” 

“What? No. He’s still reserved and…. He’s usually quiet when we’re together. It’s hard to make conversation with him.” He shook his head and stood up to pace. “I can’t figure out how to start his lessons. Princess Azula already confronted me some days ago, and I feel further from achieving that goal than I had before.” 

“Don’t let the princess intimidate you. She’s lost, influenced by my brother. As long as you focus on Prince Zuko, he will be able to take his place as Fire Lord and allow the nation to flourish.” Sokka sighed, tousling his own hair in frustration. Iroh walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “I know my nephew. He’s like a son to me, and I like to think I know how to read him. He isn’t used to friends, so you’ll have to show him. You’ve made more progress than you know. He’s already fond of you.” 

There were still so many unanswered questions. They built in the back of Sokka’s throat, urging him to demand answers. He was far from home and he’d been thrown into a new place with new customs. At the very least, he deserved explanations. 

“Get some rest, Sokka. A clear head can work wonders.” 

“Right. Thank you.” Sokka bowed slightly and left the room. 

When he arrived at his room, he sought solace in the softness of the bed, laying on his side to look out the open balcony doors. He could see a splatter of stars in the distance, a soft glow from the city peeking out just above the palace wall. 

He fell asleep to memories of home. Memories of penguin sledding, ice dodging, fishing, snowfights, pranks, and the many times he’d been victim to Katara’s waterbending skills before they improved. 

***

His memories of home gave him an idea. Thinking of how often Katara used her waterbending back home, he couldn’t help but wonder why the prince so rarely used his firebending. Sokka had only witnessed him doing it once, juggling fireballs when he was alone. Considering the fact that he would need to take part in a duel that focused on firebending, Sokka wondered why he didn’t do it more often. 

“Prince Zuko?” 

“Yes?” The prince’s golden eyes flickered to him, and Sokka couldn’t get the thought out of his mind that the solemn expression in them made the young royal appear much older than he was. 

“I was wondering if I could see you firebend. My sister is a waterbender, and I always helped her practice. You need to prepare for the agni kai, so… I wanted to offer my assistance.” 

Prince Zuko frowned, his jaw tensing for a moment. “There’s no way to assist with firebending.”

“Sure there is,” Sokka insisted. “I could throw marshmallows up for you to aim at then when we have enough, we can eat them! I checked the kitchen, there’s a big stock of them. Or I could toss up pieces of meat and we’ll douse them in that gravy you like.”

The tension in the prince’s body dissipated as he allowed his lips to curl into a small, amused smile. “There’s… a bit more to firebending than that.” 

“So show me. I’ll show you more tricks with my sword.” He patted the hilt and grinned widely at the prince. “Please don’t make me have to use my polar cub eyes. My sister may have become immune, but I know they’ll work on you.” 

The prince took a breath and let it out in a huff. Sokka could have sworn there was a touch of smoke in it. The prince raised his eyebrow. “Very well,” he said in a slightly challenging tone. “But you have to promise to be careful and listen to me. Fire has a life of its own, and once it’s left my body, it does what it wants.” 

“I swear. I’ll sit and watch, nothing else.” 

The prince pursed his lips and stood up, rolling the scrolls up and piling them up on the table. “Let’s go then.”

They left the study, and Sokka followed him to a set of large red doors. Inside, statues with their heads bowed lined the walls, all facing the center. There were vents along the ceiling and arches along the sides. 

When Sokka turned his gaze back to the prince, he found him removing his robes and letting them drop near the wall. He removed his shirt, and Sokka realized with a start that this was the most he had ever seen of the prince. It felt like an invasion of privacy. He tried to look around the room again, but there wasn’t much to see aside from the statues. 

The prince removed his hairpiece and twirled his hair into a bun like he had when they went to eat dumplings. 

It was unfair really. The prince spent his days sitting, reading, strolling through gardens, and still he had the type of body that Sokka had desperately worked for. Muscles that relayed strength without being obnoxious, proportions that proved he was a grown man, not a growing child. Sokka felt embarrassed despite still wearing his shirt. He always felt he was too stocky, with the kind of muscles on his arms that made him look disproportionate and none to show in his stomach because staying warm in the south meant eating well. 

He sat down against the wall, discreetly curling into himself as he watched the prince’s lithe movements to the center of the room. 

“Firebending requires control. It gains power from breath.” The prince took a deep breath without moving his shoulders then positioned his legs far apart before leaning to one side slowly. “It gets fueled by rage, anger, hatred.” Without a pause, the prince faced his extended leg, moving his hands like he was lifting something. A blaze of fire ignited in his palms, hot enough that Sokka could feel it where he sat. With a shout, Prince Zuko pushed his arms out, extending the blast of flames away before it dissipated. 

He pulled his arms back slowly and turned the other way, having shifted his balance. “I know it sounds viscous, but destruction isn’t all fire does. Fire doesn’t simply take. It gives.” He trailed one hand over him, creating an arch of softer fire that slowly separated into flames flickering in the palms of his hands. “Light. Warmth. Nourishment. Life. It’s energy.” 

The prince snuffed the fire in his hands out by clenching his fists. “The fire is our breath, our soul. More than violent emotions, it comes from passion and desire.” He kicked out to his side with a grunt, wiped away the trail of fire with a swish of his arm, then punched out with his back hand to release another blast of white-hot flames. The tongues of fire nearly reached the other side of the long room. “Fire has a life of its own, so it takes a great amount of control to master firebending.” He was still pitched forward from the punch when he swung his back leg forward and around in a perfect circle, creating a ring of fire that he pushed up to the ceiling with his hands. “Proper firebending and defense against firebending require a certain level of peace. Which I’m not sure I’ve reached yet.” 

“But you’re amazing at it.” The prince moved his gaze from the ceiling down to Sokka. “You make it look like a dance.” 

“It took me a long time to switch from anger to this. To gain better control.” 

That was hard to believe. Prince Zuko was so calm, so deliberate about all of his words and movements both when he was firebending and when he wasn’t. Though, with all the secrets and what little Sokka knew of the royal family, he could begin to see how a younger version of the prince might have held resentment and pain. 

“You know, your firebending has some aspects of waterbending. The movements are sharper, but they’re still fluid.” He stood up and unsheathed his sword. “Watching Katara waterbend gave me some ideas for the way I sword fight. I think I could incorporate some of what you did into it too.” He stood in front of the prince, with enough space between to swing his sword wildly without endangering him. With enough space that he wouldn’t get burned by proximity. “Do it again. I’ll mirror you.” 

Dubious, the prince got into a wide-legged stance. Sokka mimicked it. Instead of lifting his hands and pushing out fire, he swung his sword up in a diagonal then shifted his weight forward to plunge it forward. As the prince made his arch of fire, Sokka swung his sword over his head and out before slowly bringing his elbows in. The prince had a surprised grin on his face, delighted by the imitation. Sokka mirrored the side-kick before slashing his sword sideways as the prince swept the fire trail away, then together they shifted forward- the prince with his fiery punch, and Sokka with another deadly sword thrust. 

The second their eyes met, the two let their stance go and began to laugh, the sounds intermingling and echoing back at them. 

When they settled down, the prince’s gaze lingered on the blade. “Is that what you’re doing when I find you in the garden? Using waterbending techniques to sword fight?” 

“Well, those are warm-ups. Ways to keep my muscles used to the movement. But yes. The balance, the fluidity. I got it from watching my sister. She says that water is adaptable, flowing through a stream and around every obstacle, but it’s also persistent, like the waves crashing on a shore until it weathers away a glacier. I think people focus a lot on the sharpness of sword fighting that they forget the adaptability it needs. Being able to move like water.” He held his sword in his hands by the hilt and the blade, smiling down at it. “After watching you, I wonder if there’s a way to incorporate more elements into it. Aspects of earth and air bending that could strengthen it.” 

When he looked up at the prince, he was still smiling, rolling a small fireball between his fingers in one hand. “I think that if anyone could figure out it would be you. You have a curious mind.” Sokka hummed, deciding to take that as a compliment. “So your sister is a waterbender and you aren’t?” 

“Uh, no. I’m not. It’s why I picked up sword fighting. I can’t defend my tribe with waterbending, but I can fight. I’ve learned other things too. I was actually working on figuring out a way to travel under the sea because propelling yourself by ocean currents might be faster than depending on wind currents, but I need a lot more information, and I needed several more supplies before I could figure it out properly.” 

“Supplies?” 

Sokka sheathed his sword as he nodded. “Well, I wanted to start with a prototype, making a small-scale model I could test inside a stream before I did the math for a bigger scale. However that idea also brought me to the conclusion that if we travel by land, can travel by sea, then surely we could also travel by air. The trick with air travel would be figuring out how to control speed. Though I’ve noticed that warmer air rises, you can see it within fires and when there’s wind, and I’ve noticed it here too. After all, steam goes up, right? So I firmly believe fire is imperative to air travel, but the idea of trapping that air…. Well, anyway, the underwater travel could really help the expeditions back home when we need to trade. It would shorten the length of time people have to be gone.” The prince laughed softly. “I was rambling,” Sokka realized. 

“Only natural for a curious mind,” Prince Zuko said. His tone relayed some of that fondness Iroh must have been talking about. “You’re more than welcome to join me in the library to do your own studies, you know? Who knows what you could invent here.”

“Well, I appreciate that,” he answered. “Well, show me more firebending tricks. I still think we should try the marshmallows.” 

The prince suppressed a smile. “We could try the marshmallows.” 

“Really?” Sokka asked in disbelief. “Then let’s go get them!” Sokka grabbed him by the arm and tugged him toward the door, only letting go when the prince let out a surprised yelp. 

“Wait, my shirt!” Sokka froze and let him go. The prince stopped at his pile of clothes and put the shirt back on, leaving the robe on the floor. “You’re surprisingly strong,” the prince noted as they walked out and headed to the palace kitchen. 

Sokka laughed and playfully flexed his arm. “It’s all the fishing and sword practice. Sorry, I shouldn’t have grabbed you, Prince Zuko.” 

The prince nodded and let out an amused little huff. “It’s alright, Sokka. Your enthusiasm is refreshing.” 

The kitchen was relatively near, and Zuko asked one of the servants for a bag of marshmallows. They filled a square cloth with several of the spongy sweets and handed it over. Sokka could see the confusion and intrigue on their faces, but they didn’t question it. Together, they returned to the large room with the statues. 

“Okay, I’ll throw them and you roast them.” 

With an exasperated sigh and a shake of his head, the prince widened his stance. Sokka threw a marshmallow up in the air and ducked when a quick, sharp blast of heat soared toward it. The now charred marshmallow began to fall, and without thinking Sokka reached out to catch it in his hands. 

“Oh! Ow! That’s hot!” he said, his voice breaking as it went up an octave. 

Behind him, the prince burst into laughter. It seemed like each time he laughed it was a little freer, like it came a little more easily to him. Prince Zuko walked over to him and Sokka popped the sweet into his mouth. “I don’t think you thought this through.”

Sokka shook his head as he wiped the residual stickiness on the side of his pants. “No, which is weird because I usually do.” He shrugged. “I just wanted to see you have fun.”

“What?” The smile on the prince’s face slowly faded, his eyebrow furrowing to the center. He didn’t seem upset, just… taken aback. 

“Well. You’re only twenty-two. Most princes your age are… getting drunk on wine and visiting brothels and doing un-princely things before having to take responsibilities on. Well, maybe that’s an incorrect account, but still. You’re too young to be so serious and reserved.” Sokka picked up the cloth bag of marshmallows. “I thought if we did something stupid and silly, you could get a chance to act your age.” The prince said nothing. His golden eyes betrayed nothing as he stared passively, still as a statue. “Well,” Sokka said loudly, trying to erase the last thing he said, “We can’t do more target practice without filling the room with sticky, melting marshmallows we won’t even get to eat.” 

The prince allowed himself a small smile, taking the bag from Sokka. “I have another idea.” 

They ended up on the balcony in Prince Zuko’s room, using small metal sticks to spear through the marshmallow centers. Sokka held them while the prince allowed a small fire to blaze in the palm of his hand. 

As Sokka rotated the sweet, he couldn’t help but acknowledge what a ridiculous picture they made. They had torches, a fireplace. The prince was a powerful firebender. And yet they were sitting across from each other stifling laughter each time their eyes met as they roasted the sweets. 

Once they’d eaten enough roasted marshmallows to get a stomach ache, Prince Zuko regarded him for a moment. Sokka raised an eyebrow in question, and the prince asked, “Could you tell me more about your home?” 

The question surprised him. Why would a prince want to know about a small tribe in the South Pole? “What do you want to know?” 

“Anything. What you do as a chief’s son. What it’s like to fish in the cold. How you spend your days. Your games.” The prince wiped his hands with a cloth and looked out over the balcony. “How you learn so much about other places and things when you’re so far from it all.” 

The answers came to Sokka’s mind in flashing images, memories that he’d held on to in order to anchor himself. Without giving it much thought, he began to relay it all to the prince. Every memory he thought of before falling asleep, the pranks he pulled on Katara, the way the children followed him and enjoyed playing and training with him, the first time he went fishing and was able to haul their larger net onto the boat, the way everyone at home knew each other’s name. 

“Gran says we used to be a much larger tribe. But past wars dwindled our numbers. We’re growing again, prospering. Though there is a lot of routine. There were some days I’d tire of it. Especially when we didn’t get to see the sun for a long time. It’s why I spent so much time looking through trader’s accounts in our archives. We have a lot of scrolls documenting what other places were like. I think my letters to Katara might go there because she asks about what it’s like here.” Sokka smiled longingly as his hand wrapped around the hilt of his sword. “Now that I’m here, I miss it more than anything. I love getting to have these new experiences. I enjoy learning about you and your life here. Home simply has things I hadn’t realized I took for granted.”

There was a long pause where Sokka finally looked around and realized the sunset had already begun. He’d been meaning to go watch it again, but he lost track of time. He’d lost himself in the memories. 

“So why did you come here? If you have duties, things to learn there? It couldn’t have been only to see a new place. Being a companion is no temporary job.” 

Katara’s words echoed in his head, going so far as to take on her voice. He could be honest. He could tell the prince what he was really there for. Still, after that day, Sokka couldn’t bring himself to see the prince return to his reserved nature. He didn’t want to be the cause of that. 

Though, there was a way to be honest without giving it all away. “I was told I was needed.” Sokka shrugged. “Considering the severe lack of fun around here, I can see it was true.” 

The prince hummed, and met Sokka’s gaze with one side of his mouth quirked up and a sly look in his eyes. “‘Needed’ is a strong word, I think.” Sokka laughed and kicked at his ankle playfully. “I could have you punished for that, you know?” 

It was an empty threat and they both knew it, even if it hadn’t been given away in Prince Zuko’s half-smile. “You could,” Sokka said with a grin. He kicked him again. “But you won’t.” He offered the prince a cheeky grin that only made him roll his eyes in mock exasperation. 

“Do you have room for dinner?”

“Always,” Sokka answered with a grin. 

Before the prince, Sokka had always seen silence as something heavy. Silence only existed in mourning, in anger, in the tension during a hunt. Silence existed when he went too far teasing Katara, when his father had returned with exhaustion in his limbs from an expedition, when Sokka couldn’t fill the silence with a story or a joke. 

Lately, silence was more than that. It was better. The silence that settled while they ate dinner and watched the light disappear from that part of the world was gentle and soothing. It was calming. That silence signaled comfort and familiarity. Sokka didn’t need to fill the silence with something; it was already full of breaths and buzzing insects and crackling fire. And that was enough. 

When he returned to his room he sat down to write his next letter to Katara so he could send his hawk in the morning. 

_ Little Snow Rat, _

_ I should be visiting the city again soon, seeing as the prince is running low on some supplies. As a kind and loving big brother, I’ll be sure to look for the things you asked for. I’m a bit concerned about the fish, but it’s a problem we have solved before.  _

_ All day I kept your words like an echo in my head. I look at the prince and wonder if I can truly become his friend while keeping the truth of my presence here from him. We grow closer every day, and each time I think I’ve managed to become his friend, something reminds me of the secrets kept between us- my own confusions about his life or his questions about mine. I know your advice is to be honest, but I fear that would make him angry with me. While that shouldn’t feel like a severe punishment, it does. He’s all I have here, the only constant. His father and sister terrify me, and most of my day is spent at his side. His uncle is kind, but I don’t think I’d enjoy following him around all day.  _

_ As for your question on the ignorance of the citizens, I can only give part of an answer since it’s all I know myself. The people do not know what the prince looks like, and when we went to the city shops, he was in common clothes. The people addressed him as “Boy.” He seems to prefer it that way, and he frequents the shops enough to be greeted warmly by the shopkeepers. He converses with them about mundane things and their lives. They brighten when they see him. Again- oblivious to the fact that he is the crown prince. I don’t know why, seeing as his family often has guards surrounding them when they go anywhere. It is one of the many mysteries when it comes to Prince Zuko.  _

_ For the kids- tell them I convinced the prince to target practice with marshmallows and burned my hands catching one he roasted in mid-air. You should have heard his laugh! I would have been more embarrassed if not for the fact that the poor man needs to laugh more.  _

_ Give Dad and Gran a hug for me. Pray that the spirits might guide my decisions to whatever is best.  _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Sokka the Ingenious _


	4. About the Art of Conviction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to update a day early because it's my birthday and I just was so excited for this chapter. Please leave a comment if you can! I love all of them ♡♡♡

_ Tiny Wolf Tail, _

_ I can’t imagine why a prince would keep his identity a secret, but based on your letters, it also makes sense. The crown prince seems to like his tranquility, and he may find peace in anonymity.  _

_ As for your struggle with a decision, I can’t give much more advice because I don’t know the depth of your bond yet. I still stand by the idea that friendship should be built on a foundation of honesty, otherwise everything built up before would diminish to nothing. Considering the growing fondness in your letters when you talk about the prince, I think losing what you’ve built would be more painful to you the longer you wait. Again, I don’t know the prince or his feelings about you, so you should make that choice with your own judgement. Perhaps then _

With a groan, Sokka folded the letter and tucked it into his pocket. He couldn’t focus on the words with the sweltering heat all around them. 

The past few days had been getting hotter and hotter, causing a heavy weight to settle on Sokka’s mind. He was chronically exhausted and wanted to do nothing more than wade into the pond and stay there until he could transfer himself to a bath and then to bed. 

Even the thin clothes offered no reprieve of the sticky humidity that seemed amplified under the sun at the peak hours of the day. Sokka was constantly sweating, causing his clothes to stick to him uncomfortably. He had no idea how the prince managed with his long hair falling down his back and his long robes. 

“Is something wrong?” Prince Zuko asked as he met Sokka in the garden after another one of his meetings with Iroh. 

“No. I just couldn’t focus on my sister’s latest letter. I feel like I’ve got marshmallows stuffing my head. The words blur. I’ll just wait to read it later tonight.”

The prince frowned, giving Sokka an analytical gaze. “Why don’t we hold off on going into the city? We could go to the scroll library again.” 

“You wanted dumplings-”

“I could send for them or we can get them another day.” He tilted his head toward the eastern palace entrance. “Come, maybe we can finally find something on the density topic you needed for your underwater globe.” 

“Only if you help me draw the blueprints because apparently my drawings resemble a five-year-old’s.” 

The prince laughed as he led the way. “It was an observation, not at insult!” 

Sokka wanted to reply, but he could only manage a light laugh. As they walked, he felt the heat drape over him. His body throbbed in tandem with his heart until the thumps of his heartbeat were all he could hear as they reverberated in his head. His vision blurred as he took another step, unsteadying him as he pitched sideways. He managed to catch himself on the railing of the steps up to the entrance, and he might have called out for the prince, but if he did, the sound was merely a whisper. 

It was like a blink. Like one moment he was on the steps, panicking as he lost his sense, and the next he was struggling to open his eyes as something cold pressed to his forehead. 

“Uncle.” 

Sokka grimaced at the dryness in his mouth, at the way his entire body shivered. As his eyes peeled open, he saw the prince looming over him on side and Iroh on the other. 

“There you are. How are you feeling, Sokka?” Iroh asked. 

Sokka groaned, noting the heaviness of his body, the aches that coursed through them like he was sore all over. “I’ve been better.” 

“You just collapsed on the steps,” the prince said softly. He moved the cloth on his forehead to the sides of his face. 

“It’s the climate, Prince Zuko. The temperatures here are much higher than the South Pole and Sokka’s body isn’t used to it. It must have finally settled in and taken its toll. Summer is a harsh time for any tourist here.” Iroh moved away and came back with a bowl which he placed on a stand beside the bed. “You should eat and drink some water.” Iroh looked at the prince and bowed. “I’ll let the healer know he’s awake.” 

Sokka turned his gaze to the prince, surprised at the depth of the worry in his expression. “Thank you, Uncle.” Iroh left the room and the prince grabbed the cloth, dipping it into a basin beside the bed before wringing it out and pressing it to Sokka’s neck and cheeks. “You look flushed,” he noted. He pressed his palm to his cheek, and Sokka found himself leaning into it. “You’re warm.” 

“You’re surprisingly cold for a firebender,” Sokka said softly. “Do all firebenders have cold hands?” 

The prince smiled. “Our body regulates our temperatures. I can warm my hands up if you’d like?” 

Sokka shook his head. “No. It’s nice.”

Prince Zuko’s cold fingers slid behind his neck, pulling him up gently as he held a cup to his lips. “Drink. Uncle says you should stay hydrated.” 

The water was cold, and the second it touched his tongue, Sokka placed a hand on the cup to tilt it towards himself greedily. The prince gently helped him lay his head back down against the pillow. “Do you sit by all your servants’ sick beds, Prince Zuko?” 

The prince let out a little huff, a vague trace of smoke coming out of his nostrils. He continued to pat the cloth against his face and shook his head. “You’re not my servant. You’re my friend. Friends shouldn’t use titles. Call me Zuko.” The statement shocked Sokka, causing his eyes to widen slightly and his eyebrows to rise. The prince-  _ Zuko  _ smiled and tugged on a strand of Sokka’s hair. “I’ve never seen you with your hair down.” 

“What?” Sokka touched his hair to find it had come undone from its wolf tail. “Ah. Well, I usually wear it down for bed. Where is the hair tie?” The prince reached out to the bedside table where the bowl of food waited and held up the band. “Oh good. My sister made that for me. I’d hate to lose it.”

“I’ll be sure it’s safe on your desk, then.” He stood and placed it by the ink jar. “Can you sit up? You need to eat.” He went around the bed to grab the bowl. “Uncle asked the cooks to make a special soup. It tastes horrible though.” 

“Have you had it?” Sokka asked as he pulled himself up. 

“He made it for me once when I got sick. The taste made me suspicious of soups for a long time.” 

“Fantastic,” Sokka said with a grimace as he took the bowl. He swallowed a spoonful, holding his breath in hopes of reducing the taste. Still, the bitterness clung to the back of his throat, and he groaned, only to hear Zuko laugh with a trace of pity. “How long have I been asleep?” 

“Not very long. I sent for Uncle and we brought you to your room. The healer checked you to be sure it was nothing severe. He’d only been gone for a little bit when you started waking up.” Zuko winced in sympathy as Sokka forced himself to finish the soup by swallowing it down quickly. “How are you feeling now?” 

“A bit… nauseous,” Sokka admitted. “I should lay back down.” He slouched into the bed, and Zuko stood to help him before grabbing the cloth and wringing it out again. Sokka watched him carefully as he gently pressed the cloth to his skin. 

His lips were pressed into a thin line, his eyebrow furrowed as his eyes followed the movements of the cloth. Even Katara didn’t fuss over him this way on the rare occasion that he got sick. She worried, but she mostly teased him until he was better enough to tease her back. Zuko appeared to be in pain  _ for  _ him. 

The idea of a prince being so worried for him lightened some of the pressure Sokka felt from whatever ailment had overcome him.

“So we’re friends now, are we?” Sokka whispered. “Had to collapse in front of you for you to admit it, but here we are.” 

A rosy color filled his cheeks, and Sokka couldn’t suppress the laughter, however tired and hoarse it was. Zuko narrowed his eyes at him, but then his expression gave way to a soft smile. “You should rest, Sokka. Get some sleep. My uncle will be back with the healer soon, but I’ll let them know you ate.” 

“Can I make a strange request, my friend?” Sokka asked as his eyes fell shut in exhaustion.

“What is it?”

“Could you give me arctic hen pecks?” 

There was a brief silence before Zuko’s stunned voice broke it with, “I’m sorry, what?”

Sokka opened his eyes, amused by the confusion on his face. “Arctic hen pecks. It just means you do this.” He lifted his hand to his own head and scratched gently. “My gran does it for me when I can’t sleep or when I’m sick. She has since I was little.” 

After a moment of hesitation, Zuko reached over and scratched the top of his head softly, slowly. “Like this?” 

Sokka nodded and closed his eyes again. “Just like home….” 

Before long, he’d slipped into a deep sleep with pleasant dreams.

When he woke up again, the torches in his room were on and a gentle breeze came in through the open balcony doors. A soft orange glow cast shadows on his wall, and he turned to see the prince- he turned to see  _ Zuko  _ sitting in a chair with a scroll, making notes on another parchment. 

“Are you watching me sleep?” Sokka asked with faux suspicion.

Zuko straightened in his seat and turned to Sokka. “No,” he said simply. He walked over and pressed a hand to Sokka’s face. “You’re still warm.” 

“Yes, I’m afraid I’ve never been too good about healing quickly.” Sokka looked over at the scrolls and back at Zuko. “Have you been studying in here?” 

“Yes.” The prince gestured for him to sit up. “Are you hungry? I’ll be sure you get some meat instead of soup this time. The nausea, is it gone?” 

Before he could stand to go get a servant, Sokka grabbed his arm. “Prince Zuko, I-”

“I told you, call me Zuko.” 

“I can’t. Because I can’t be your friend.” The changes in his expression were miniscule, and yet they made all the difference. The prince stared at him in shock, confusion, possibly even with a trace of hurt. 

It didn’t feel right. How could he let the prince grow more fond of him, fuss over him when he was ill, call himself his friend when he was keeping such an imperative truth from him? He couldn’t build this bond under false pretenses. 

“I can’t without telling you the truth. I don’t know if your father will be angry with me, but…. Prince Zuko, your father sent for me to teach you to sword fight in time for your trial. Your uncle said I would have to pose as a companion so you’d be willing to learn from me. There’s a lot I don’t understand. I don’t understand why you would reject other teachers or why they sent for me in the South Pole. I’m supposed to be your teacher. I lied to you.” 

As he spoke, the prince turned his attention to a spot on the wall. He remained silent and expressionless. Sokka wondered if he’d even heard what he said. 

“I have enjoyed my time here. That isn’t a lie. I would like to be your friend. I just think you should also know the real reason I’m here.” The prince didn’t move. Nothing gave him away. There was no change in the speed of his breaths, in his facial expression, not even a change in the look in his eyes. “Are you angry with me?” He turned his face toward Sokka, still blank. “I understand if you are, Prince Zuko.” 

“I want to be,” he admitted. “It’s only fair. I was suspicious, but…. Well, since you’ve been here, I’ve been able to know what it means to act my age. To have fun within these walls in small ways. To let myself lose my composure in favor of laughter. I can’t be angry about that.” He took a deep breath and took the cloth again, dunking it into the basin and wringing it out. “I know enough to make it through the trial. My father simply doesn’t want to risk embarrassment. I won't tell them I know why you’re here, but you should know I don’t plan on taking lessons. The entire concept of the trial for me is….” He scowled and clenched his fist. Sokka had never seen him angry, but it was a split moment of broken composure that piqued his curiosity. The prince placed the cloth against Sokka’s neck, and when he spoke again, his voice was soft and measured. “If the things that sparked my fondness for you were real, then you are my friend. If the only lie was the title of your position in the palace, and not the moments of laughter and fun, then you are my friend. So?” He let his hand fall away and met Sokka’s eyes. “Are you my friend?” 

The torchlights left dancing shadows on his face, sharpening every sharp edge and dip of his features. They reflected in his amber eyes, creating their own sunset. Sokka’s grip tightened on his arm as he nodded. “Yes. I am.”

Finally,  _ thankfully,  _ the corners of Zuko’s mouth curled up into a smile. “Good. So are you hungry?” 

***

The ailment that left Sokka bedridden worsened before it began to show signs of alleviation. The day after he’d collapsed, Sokka became feverish, and body chills left him shivering despite the heat. The day after that, a painful, phlegmy cough kept him up, and made the healer have to return to see him. 

It was a common cold, but it had taken a strong hold on Sokka. 

The healer coated him in a tangy ointment and put him on a strict soup-only diet. Iroh brought tea to the room to share with him and Zuko. His friend had stayed by his side to provide a fresh wet cloth and remind him to eat. Unless he had training with Iroh in the room of statues, Zuko stayed in Sokka’s room, studying at the desk and offering arctic hen pecks when Sokka couldn’t sleep. 

“Zuko?” The fingernails scratching his scalp stopped as Zuko hummed in question. “Could you write to Katara for me? She’ll be worried that I haven’t written back. Let her know I’m sick, but that I’m getting better.”

“Of course,” he said. He moved to the desk and began to write on a new parchment. The movements of his hand were steady, graceful, and Sokka imagined that his handwriting would be far more legible than his own.

He watched the way Zuko bit his lip as he wrote, concentrating so hard that Sokka would have believed he was working on an act of legislation rather than a letter to Katara. After a few more moments, a few more dips of the brush, Zuko sprinkled pounce on the parchment and blew it away. 

“Could you read it to me before you send it with my hawk?” 

“Oh. Very well.” Zuko cleared his throat and returned to his side. “Lady Katara-”

“Lady?” 

“Isn’t that her title as a chief’s daughter?” 

Sokka laughed and shook his head. “Oh she’ll love that.” He shook his head and gestured for him to keep reading. Zuko grunted and returned his attention to the parchment. 

“ _ Lady Katara,  _

_ Your brother is currently fighting a cold as a result of the drastic temperature change he experienced in coming to the palace. I feel responsible for his ailment, and I hope you know I am doing everything in my power to restore his health. He seems to have gotten through the worst of it- the fever broke this morning and should the spirits will it, he may be entirely recovered by the time you receive this letter.  _

_ I assure you he is safe and comfortable. I consider him a close friend, and will take it upon myself to aid his recovery as best I can. If you would like to visit him to see his state of health for yourself, send word, and I can arrange it with my uncle.  _

_ Please thank your family and tribe for allowing me his companionship. He is possibly the closest friend I’ve had since I was a child.  _

_ With warm regards, _

_ Crown prince of the Fire Nation, Zuko”  _

He rolled the parchment up and turned to Sokka. “And don’t think too much of yourself with that last bit.” He stood up and gave the scroll to the hawk before letting him fly from the balcony. “I need to meet with my uncle soon. I’ll send whoever is on shift now to draw a bath for you. It might refresh you.” 

“Thank you,” Sokka said with a smile. “And Zuko? I’m honored that you consider me your closest friend. Considering the tribe is basically very extended family…. Well, you’re mine too.” 

Zuko smiled and left the room. A few moments later, a servant walked in and went to the bathroom to draw the bath. Sokka pulled himself out of bed, slowly stretching out his limbs. His muscles felt weak, and each step toward the bathroom felt tentative. Once the servant left the room, Sokka removed his clothes and let himself sink into the water. 

After slowly scrubbing himself clean, imagining all the bits of illness washing away with it, Sokka redressed and sat down at his bed. He’d been meaning to finish Katara’s letter, but Zuko so rarely left his room while he conscious the last few days. He shuffled through the discarded clothes from the last couple days. He unfolded it and stood by the balcony door to read the rest. 

_ Considering the growing fondness in your letters when you talk about the prince, I think losing what you’ve built would be more painful to you the longer you wait. Again, I don’t know the prince or his feelings about you, so you should make that choice with your own judgement. Perhaps then the weight of secrets can dissipate the tension between you. As much as I tease you for being dense at times, I know you’re intelligent and I know you’ll figure out the right thing to do for your situation.  _

_ I told the children about the Roasted Marshmallow Incident and they laughed so hard they scared the penguins we were trying to round up. Dad is planning a trip to one of the Earth Kingdom’s villages for trading in case we last too long without fish. Gran thinks he’s exaggerating. While he’s gone Gran and I will be in charge. It’ll be strange without you here.  _

_ Tonight we ate blubbered seal jerky and more seaweed noodles. We miss you.  _

_ With love, _

_ The mightiest Tiger Seal  _

Sokka anticipated the moment when he would feel well enough to write back and fill his sister in on the progress he’s made with Zuko. For the time, he placed the letter with her others on his desk and returned to the bed.

Not long after there was a knock at his door, and Sokka called to let Zuko in. His friend entered with a tray of tea and balanced it on the bed between them. “Uncle made this. Are you feeling better?” 

“A bit. The bath was helpful. What kind of tea is it?” 

“Ginseng. Here.” Zuko poured some tea into a cup and held it out for Sokka before he poured his own.

The hot liquid soothed Sokka’s throat, and he hummed in appreciation as it warmed his body. “Don’t you have better things to do than watch after me? And more comfortable places to do them?” 

Without missing a beat, Zuko responded, “No. Drink while it’s hot.” He tilted the cup in Sokka’s hand toward him gently so the tea wouldn’t spill. 

As Sokka met his eyes, he noticed a tenderness there in those golden irises that hadn’t been there before. But it wasn’t entirely new. It had appeared in fragments until it was impossible to miss, and Sokka wondered when it had begun to sneak into Zuko’s gaze. In fact that very emotion had settled in the crevices of his own heart, setting aside a part that was entirely for Zuko. His unlikely friend who refused to leave his side even when Sokka laid ill in bed. 

“Tell me a story,” Sokka said after a long sip of tea. “A fable from when you were younger, or something you might have heard on your undercover excursions beyond the palace wall.” 

“A story?” Zuko repeated, amused and uncertain. “Alright. Well I knew one where the sea tried to reach the moon and that’s how waves were created. They were lovers trying to reach each other.” 

Sokka waited expectantly, but Zuko only nodded and drank from his tea. “Is that it?” Zuko nodded. “Oh, you’re a horrible storyteller!” he said with a laugh. “Where’s the detail? You have to tell a story from the start. Fill it with emotions and things the characters say. Give them different voices when you tell. Narrate the action with louder or softer words. Don’t you have bedtime stories on a scroll or one of those books in the library?” 

“Well, yes, but I’m not going all the way to the library to read you a story then have you criticize my storytelling,” he answered with a sheepish smile. “I do remember one my mom used to tell me. It was my favorite when I was younger.” Sokka finished his tea and laid back, ready to listen. Zuko laughed softly and removed the tea tray from the bed, placing it on the floor. “Well…. She said that back when the Sun walked the earth from east to west, he came upon a small house where he wanted to rest when he reached the end of the world and it was the Moon’s turn to walk. A father and his little boy lived in it and let the Sun stay. They offered their bed, offered their food, even though it meant they would be left with nothing.” He paused for a moment and grimaced as he looked at the ceiling. “Something happened. Something the boy did upset the Sun. Oh- the Sun had called the father inadequate for providing so little to his child. And the boy got angry and demanded that the Sun apologize. For his insolence, the Sun lifted his hand, blazing with fire, and attempted to strike the boy.” 

“What a cruel god,” Sokka murmured. 

Zuko nodded in agreement. “Well, the father got between them and took the blow for himself. It scorched half his face.” Sokka winced and wondered why this had been Zuko’s favorite story as a child. “The Sun saw then that the man was a good father. If he was so good that his child would yell at a god, if he was so good that he’d take the punishment meant for his child for himself, then he was good. Regardless of how small the house was and how meager the food was.” Zuko smiled and looked at Sokka with a proud glint in his eyes. “To reward them, the Sun gave them both some of his power. He created creatures that could make fire with their bodies and allow them to travel faster than the Sun himself across the land. They were the first firebenders. They owned the first dragons allowed to humans.” 

After a moment of silence, allowing himself to absorb the story, Sokka frowned. “So the Sun punished them… only to reward them? Did he heal the father?” 

“I never asked. But yes, the gods were temperamental beings. Still… I liked the idea of such unconditional love. It made the father act without any regard for himself.” 

Sokka hummed, pensive as he stared at the flickering fire from the torches. Then he turned back to Zuko with a pleased smile. “Thank you for that story. Though we still need to work on your skills. It’s unacceptable that you don’t do voices.” 

The light, teasing tone made Zuko burst into laughter. “Noted. I appreciate the feedback.” 

“I really did like the story, though,” Sokka said as his friend’s laughter trailed off, leaving only a trace of a smile. “When I feel better, I’ll tell you one too.”

“I look forward to it.” Zuko touched his cheek, and his shoulders relaxed a bit. “Your fever hasn’t returned. I think you may be able to eat solid food tonight.” 

The comment left Sokka with an unpleasant feeling in his gut as he recalled how long it had been since they last dined with the Fire Lord. “Don’t we have to join your father for a meal soon? He’ll wonder what you’ve been doing.” 

“I’m sure we’ll be dining with him when Mai arrives. He doesn’t worry too much about my whereabouts. Uncle keeps him informed enough on whatever he wants to know.” He frowned as he fixed the blankets to cover Sokka better. “Don’t worry yourself about that. I’m going to see when dinner will be ready and ask for our food to be sent here. We can eat on the balcony.” 

He stood and took the tray with him when he left, leaving Sokka in the silence. His back hurt from laying down for so long, and his body was exhausted from the constant state of sleep. He couldn’t bear to stay in bed much longer, so he got up and dragged the top blanket with him to sit at the balcony while he waited. Though his chills had gone away the day before, it was a comforting presence. A permanent hug when he’d gone so long without one. 

The thought sliced through him so unexpectedly that he felt tears falling down his face the next time he blinked, and they didn’t stop. They streaked down his cheeks in a constant stream, and he wondered if he’d unleashed tears that had built up since he boarded the Fire Nation’s ship. 

He missed getting tackled to the snow by the children, he missed his family’s hugs, the congratulatory pats on the back after a successful haul of fish. He even missed the kisses on the cheek Gran always gave him and Katara. Everything in the Fire Nation was so cold. So distant. The most physical touch he’d experienced had been the arctic hen pecks Zuko gave him and the moments when he checked for a fever. 

But he missed the tightness of hugs. The comfort in them. The warmth and reassurance. 

He cried, longing for his family, for his home. He only stopped when he heard a knock at his door. He wiped his eyes quickly before Zuko let himself in and met him on the balcony.

“Already out here? You must be hungry.” He sat across from him, and Sokka smiled weakly as he looked at the food. “Sokka? Were… have you been crying?” Zuko asked, voice tinged with alarm. 

“What? No-”

“Your eyes are red and puffy. And so is your nose.” Zuko handed him the cloth that had been wrapped around his silverware. “What is it?” 

Sokka shook his head as he wiped his face. “Just homesick,” he assured. “I realized I’ve never spent so long without my family before.” He saw the distress on his friend’s face and he smiled, this time more genuinely. “I think I didn’t give myself time to think about it when you’re around. Being conscious and able to think while I was alone… I suppose it caught up to me.” 

“I’m sorry. It isn’t fair that you were pulled away from home because of me. Maybe Katara will want to visit. Or maybe I can arrange for you to visit home whenever you’d like. In the meantime… we could find things to decorate your room with. Make it feel more personal.” 

There was an urgency in his voice that was unlike him. A breach in that perfect princely composure. Like Sokka’s comfort was of utter importance. Perhaps it stemmed from the guilt he felt, but the way his eyes locked on Sokka told him his intensity was rooted in that tender fondness he’d noted before. It was an urge to help a friend. 

“Maybe,” Sokka said softly. “For now, I should focus on getting better. I’d like to be able to leave my room in the next couple days.”

“Right. Well, that starts with nourishment, so-” Zuko pushed a plate toward him. “Eat.” 

Their usual silence settled over them as they ate. Zuko excused himself to return the dishes, and by the time he came back, Sokka had huddled back into bed. A new kind of exhaustion had overwhelmed him, and paired with the physical illness he was still getting over, it left him feeling worse. 

Zuko sat on the edge of the bed and tilted his head. “Do you need more arctic hen pecks to sleep?”

“Yes,” Sokka lied. Maybe Zuko knew it was a lie. After all the weariness must have been visible in the heaviness of his eyelids. Still, the prince reached out and began to run his fingers through Sokka’s loose hair, gently scraping his scalp. It wasn’t long before Sokka had fallen back asleep, dreaming of a land covered in glittering snow and a palace lit by a fiery sunset. 


	5. About Sucking Out the Poison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support so far, for all the comments that make my whole day when I get them, and of course for reading!!!! I hope you all enjoy this chapter <3 
> 
> Let me know if you're interested in early reads to next weeks chapter on my Patreon. Otherwise, find me on tumblr at i-write-shakespeare-not-disney and feel free to send me questions or just talk to me! Still working on expanding the playlist for this story, but for now just go to spotify and find Zukka- Teaching a Heart 
> 
> Happy Reading!!!  
> -Phoenix

_ Sokka the Fragile-  _

_ Jokes aside, I hope you are in better health than my last letter found you. I was shocked to receive word from the crown prince, but we’re all relieved to hear that you’re being treated well. Write to me when you can. I can’t go see you without leaving the tribe in Gran’s hands alone seeing as Dad leaves in a few days. Hopefully the prince’s offer has no expiration. Feel better. We love you. _

_ -Lady Katara  _

The signature made Sokka scoff. He knew Zuko’s letter would go to her head. He put the letter on the desk then finished getting dressed for the day. In the last few days, his health had practically returned to normal, and Sokka had every intention to be away from his room for as long as possible before writing back. 

He met with Zuko on his way to his room, and was greeted with a gentle smile. “How did you sleep?” 

“Like a baby,” Sokka answered. “To the library again? I think I was close to something when we were there yesterday.” 

Zuko suppressed a laugh and fell in step beside Sokka. “You get so invested. The torches had nearly burned out yesterday and I still had to drag you out.” 

Despite his facade of exasperation, Zuko looked at Sokka with his eyes narrowed suspiciously. Sokka tilted his head down, looking up at Zuko with his best polar cub eyes, an innocent and hopeful smile, and his hands clasped under his chin. “Oh, very well,” Zuko said in defeat. “But we’re taking a break to eat in the garden this time.” 

Smiling triumphantly, Sokka grabbed his friend’s arm and practically hauled him all the way to the library.

The library never ceased to amaze Sokka. Each shelf stocked with scrolls and bound books that held knowledge to so much more than what he had back home. He wondered if he would ever be able to look through them all. 

There was a table full of the scrolls he’d been skimming the night before, a parchment with his notes on it and a crudely drawn example of the image in his head. 

“Here. I think you’ll find the animals in this one,” Zuko said, placing a thick, dust-covered book on the table in front of him. “It’s divided by region and terrain, so all the oceanic animals should be together.” 

“Excellent,” Sokka said with a smile. “Figuring out the strengths of the fastest animals in the ocean would help me figure out what design would help underwater travel faster.” They poured over the book together, and before long, they were both more invested in the aspects of various animals than the task at hand. 

“This is a polar bear dog?” Zuko asked. “It’s enormous!” 

“Yes, but the babies are adorable. Look, this one’s a polar leopard. We use them for our clothing. When a good lot of us turn thirteen, we go on a hunt and take one down together. Then we get taught to make our own coats by the elders. One makes enough clothing for several of us, and we try not to let any part of the animals go to waste.” Sokka grimaced as he traced out the depiction of the polar leopard. “I cried when we hunted. Katara helped me hide it from the others, but I think my dad knew. Because he started telling me all about the balance of life between humans and animals when he helped me make my coat.” 

“Did you usually cry when people hunted?” 

Sokka laughed nervously. “No. I know hunting is part of our survival, and I helped skin and cook before I could walk. Well, not really, but-” He shook his head and looked at Zuko. His eyes were already focused on Sokka, listening intently as he spoke. “It was just different when it happened in front of me. I saw the polar leopard burrowing in the snow, digging with these powerful paws… then it was up to us to shoot it down. An arrow to the head so it was painless. But we were young and not very good, so we scared it. Then I saw the arrow that brought it down. I watched the blood spread along its coat. One of the elders finished the kill so it wouldn’t suffer anymore. All that power was gone.” He looked back at the book and shrugged. “It was a lot for me at that age. It’s supposed to be a symbol of growing up, but I’d never felt so small.” 

Zuko’s cold hand rested on Sokka’s arm, but before he could speak, the door to the library opened.

“Prince Zuko.” The two turned to a girl standing at the entrance of the library. “Forgive the interruption,” she said with a bow. “But Lady Mai is here. She’s waiting for you in the guest hall.” 

“Thank you,” Zuko said, removing his hand. “I’ll be there soon.” The girl bowed again and left. He turned back to Sokka. “Come with me, I want you to meet her. She was my friend when I was younger, though she was always more my sister’s friend.” 

“That doesn’t sound very promising,” Sokka said uncertainly as he returned the book to a nearby shelf. He followed Zuko out of the library. 

“No, I suppose it wouldn’t. She’s not like Azula. They’re still close, but Mai has always been more independent of Azula.” The expression on Zuko’s face looked so hopeful, so bright with anticipation, that Sokka forced himself to share it. To offer the same level of enthusiasm as they rushed to the guest room despite the apprehension he could almost feel physically. 

Zuko pushed the doors open. Sokka saw the princess sitting down along with some other people. A man and a woman with a small boy in her lap. The sound of the door caused them all to look over, but only one stepped forward, meeting Zuko halfway with an embrace. 

She wore her hair as long as Zuko’s, but she had two twisted buns on the top of her head and bangs framing her heart-shaped face. She had high cheekbones and a strong jawline. Her eyes filled with affection as she cupped Zuko’s face. 

“I’ve missed you,” she said with a faint smile. Her voice was pleasant, with a slight rasp. Her eyes drifted to Sokka who stood a few paces behind Zuko. They weren’t gold, but not quite brown. Like they couldn’t decide which color to be. “Who’s this?” 

“Sokka,” Zuko said with a tone he rarely used if the Fire Lord and the princess were around. He seemed more comfortable with Lady Mai than with his own family. “He’s my companion. Sokka this is Mai.” 

Sokka bowed slightly, unsure of what Zuko’s betrothed was like. Zuko was fond of her, but clearly so was Princess Azula if her steady gaze on them meant anything. “Lady Mai,” he said. “A pleasure to meet you.” 

“Zuzu, you’re just in time,” Princess Azula said, coming up behind Lady Mai before she could respond. “The cooks have prepared a special feast. Shouldn’t your companion be helping the servants set up the dining hall?” She set her eyes on Sokka, cold and sharp.

“Sokka’s place is by my side. He’s my companion,” Zuko said, his voice turning back into that flat, sharp tone that made everything sound like an angry command. Lady Mai raked her eyes over Sokka when Zuko spoke before taking his hand.

“Let’s go. I’m hungry.” 

Sokka followed just behind Zuko, painfully aware of the Fire Lord’s intent glare and the princess’ twisted expression. Lady Mai’s family seemed oblivious as they stood and followed, both parents rambling about their youngest’s latest achievements. It was clear that neither the Fire Lord nor Princess Azula cared much, but it didn’t seem to deter them. 

When they sat, Sokka realized Iroh hadn’t joined them. His presence was the only one that could ease his agitation when he was around the royal family. Especially when he’d been left to sit at the end of the table, across from the child. 

Unlike other meals with the royals, this one wasn’t silent. Lady Mai’s parents filled the silence with easy conversation, despite the minimal responses from the others. Even so, Sokka could feel undeniable tension due to the strained relationships across the table. Beside him, Lady Mai remained silent, looking bored as she ate, and only occasionally murmured to Zuko or shared a glance with the princess.

It felt like the meal dragged on for an eternity. It was nothing like the meals they’d share under the shade of a tree in the gardens or on Zuko’s balcony or on the watchtower at sunset. Even when they were quiet and had nothing to say to each other, there was more ease and comfort in those meals than whatever this was.

Once everyone was done eating, Zuko stood and asked to be excused with Sokka and Lady Mai. The Fire Lord looked at Sokka in a way that made the blood drain from his face, but he kept his head up high and his gaze lowered respectfully. 

“Of course. Though the kitchen is understaffed today. Sokka, you’ll have to stay and help with clean up. You can rejoin Prince Zuko when you’re finished.” 

Sokka looked at Zuko who was looking at him already, evidently frustrated but unable to speak against his father. 

“You should answer when the Fire Lord speaks to you,” Princess Azula snapped. 

Sokka grit his teeth together and bowed meekly. “Yes, Fire Lord Ozai.” 

He stood to go to the kitchen, but the princess’ voice cut across the dining hall. “Take the plates with you,” she said, as though having to say as much showed how dense Sokka was. 

He took a deep breath, willing the anger that flowed through his limbs to recede until he could put the energy into swordfighting. He stacked the plates as the others left, and only stopped when Zuko touched his arm. He’d stayed behind with Lady Mai and whispered a strained, “I’m sorry,” before walking out of the dining hall after his family. 

But he didn’t need to be. Sokka knew it wasn’t his fault. Zuko never treated him as anything less than a friend. After all, they had an act to keep up. The kitchen staff was friendly and while it didn’t take long to clean, Sokka’s frustration came from his distaste for the royal family. For the Fire Lord who deemed himself superior, for the princess who seemed intent on making the life of those around her miserable. For the way they changed Zuko’s demeanor with their presence alone. 

And maybe he had some reservations with Lady Mai for the way she clung to Zuko while disregarding Sokka. He couldn’t tell what it was that drew Zuko to her seeing as she rarely spoke and when she did, it was only for a short sentence. His distaste for her felt unfounded, and he knew that if Katara could hear the vague reasons, she would yank his ear and call him a sexist jerk. For all he knew, Lady Mai could be different around her family the way Zuko was around his. 

When he finished, he left the kitchen, hoping to slip away without running into the Fire Lord or the princess. He knew Zuko would be in the gardens, taking a stroll after the meal. Assuming that Lady Mai didn’t take him elsewhere, it was most likely Sokka would find them there. 

He found his way through the corridors without thinking about it. The palace was familiar now. He reached the gardens, finding Zuko and Lady Mai under the shade of the tree by the pond, leaning into each other. Before Sokka could make his presence known, he watched Lady Mai tilt Zuko’s head towards her as she leaned up to meet his lips. 

Zuko melted into the kiss easily. It looked like they were in a world of their own. 

The sight left Sokka with an ache in his chest, something bitter spreading through him with every rapid beat of his heart. Something clenched his throat, making it difficult to breathe, to think. The pit of his stomach burned with a feeling akin to anger threatening to knock him to his knees. 

As they pulled away from each other, Sokka swallowed down every bit of sour disdain for them, for himself, and stepped forward. His movement pulled Zuko’s attention, and a warm smile spread on his lips. A smile Sokka wished didn’t relieve a fraction of the pressure against his chest. 

“Sokka, you’re back,” he said. “Is everything alright?” 

“Yes. I just… didn’t mean to interrupt. If you don’t need anything, I could retire to my room-”

“Actually, I get a sweet tooth after meals,” Lady Mai said with an airy, matter-of-fact tone. “Could you bring us some strawberry puff pastries?” 

Sokka clenched his jaw, shifting his gaze from Lady Mai to Zuko, arching one eyebrow to see if he would react or respond or explain that those weren’t Sokka’s duties. Instead Zuko smiled sheepishly and nodded. “Please? The cook knows it’s Mai’s favorite, he usually has some prepared for her visits.” 

Despite his best efforts, disappointment settled heavily in his chest. “Right,” he said with some effort. Then he turned away and returned to the kitchen. The cook did have some pastries stashed away, apparently prepared since he knew the family would arrive that day. He took the tray back with him, trying to keep his face passive when he returned to the gardens. 

The couple sat near the pond, with Zuko on his side to touch the water with his hand and Lady Mai sitting with her back leaning against his stomach. Zuko flicked water in her face, and though Lady Mai complained as she blocked it with her dress, she was smiling fondly at him. 

That ache in the pit of Sokka’s stomach sharpened, and he willed it to disappear. 

“The pastries,” he announced. “If that’s everything-”

“Come sit with us, Sokka,” Zuko suggested. “It’s a hot day.” 

Without waiting for his response, Lady Mai shifted closer to Zuko, making a space along the edge of the pond for Sokka to sit. Without a viable excuse, Sokka had no choice but to sit. 

“You should try one,” Lady Mai said as she grabbed a pastry. 

Sokka grabbed one and hesitated before biting into it. Would spices be added to a dessert in the Fire Nation? He bit into the pastry, eyes going wide as a sweet, creamy taste burst in his mouth. The bread was flaky, airy, and warm. The strawberry was refreshing and juicy, the tart taste mixing perfectly with the sweet cream keeping it all together. 

Zuko and Lady Mai’s laughter made him blush as chewed. “Good, isn’t it? Zuko doesn’t get why I like them so much.” 

“I’m not saying they aren’t good, I only mean there are better desserts.” 

“Are there?” Sokka asked doubtfully. Lady Mai smiled and looked at Zuko triumphantly. 

“Well, I don’t eat them on a near-daily basis. At some point they lose their enchantment that way.” 

Lady Mai rolled her eyes and let her feet wade into the pool. As Sokka finished the dessert, Lady Mai said, “Isn’t it strange? By this time next year, we’ll be married, Zuko. You’ll be Fire Lord.” 

Suddenly the pastry felt like a dead weight in Sokka’s gut. Unreasonable offense rooted itself in his heart. In a year, he would be back home for good. In a year he would no longer have these routines with Zuko. 

“Do you think we’ll still have time to sit by the pond eating dessert by then?” Lady Mai asked. 

“Yes,” Zuko said simply. 

As Lady Mai leaned toward him for another kiss, Sokka couldn’t tear his eyes away. Couldn’t stifle the anger, the sense of  _ betrayal  _ in seeing their affection. His throat tightened until he couldn’t even swallow. There was an unshakeable sense that something was wrong with the scene in front of him. 

“Prince Zuko, could I go to the training room?” he asked in a voice that struggled to sound normal. 

The shock was evident on Zuko’s face, whether at the request or the way Sokka addressed him. “Um. Yes, of course. We might go to the city market tonight if you’d like to come with us.” 

“No,” Sokka answered immediately. “You should have some privacy with your betrothed.” He stood and bowed to them both. “A pleasure to meet you, Lady Mai.” She smiled at him then watched Zuko’s face as he retreated. 

Once he was out of view, safe within the doors of the palace, he broke into a run to find the training room. The second he was inside the room full of statues, he unsheathed his sword and began attacking his invisible opponent. 

Fueled by the anger he had toward himself for roping himself into such a complicated situation, he moved entirely by muscle memory. The images of Zuko and Lady Mai’s kiss goaded him further. His invisible opponent took shape, morphing into all those debilitating emotions he experienced when he saw them. The weakness, the hurt, the irrationality of it all. He swung at those emotions until sweat dripped down his face, down his neck. Until he was breathless and his muscles had become weary and shaky from exertion. 

Until it was all he could do before collapsing to the floor on his knees. 

It was confirmation of something that had been building in him for some time. Something he refused to acknowledge or face until he could no longer deny it. Not when he watched Zuko kiss her so ardently, making Sokka feel small and insignificant. It didn’t make sense for Sokka to feel what he felt. He knew Zuko was betrothed, he knew what he was here for. 

The emotions refused to listen to reason. While it made no sense, while he had no right…. His affection for Zuko had morphed into something out of his control and he was left with the dread of knowing what would happen to his heart. 

The prince was betrothed. He had to lead the Fire Nation, and Sokka had to return to his tribe. There really was no one worse Sokka's heart could have set itself upon. 

He allowed himself a moment to compose his demeanor before sheathing his sword. Zuko was occupied with his future bride for the rest of the day. Sokka had that much time to indulge his pitiful heartache before he had to compose himself. 

As opposed as he was to his room after having spent so long trapped in it, it was the only place that felt remotely like his own at the moment. He left the training room and walked slowly through the halls. 

In the hallway just before getting to his room, he saw the princess. She stood like a statue, immovable even when she heard Sokka's steps. 

"The Fire Lord is displeased," she said simply. "You've made no progress. You were brought here to teach Zuzu, and yet-" 

"Then you should have introduced me as a teacher. Not a companion. Not a servant." 

His interruption made her figure tense before she turned to look at him. She seemed amused by his outburst, but she must have deemed it inconsequential because she went on without acknowledging him. "For all I care," she said as she smoothed her royal robes, "Zuzu could fail. Maybe then Father can see that the worthy heir to the crown isn't always a son. I just figured you valued your life enough to try." 

Sokka scowled and stepped closer, meeting her eyes without fear. "I will not be threatened. I am the son of a chief. I belong to the water tribe, not to you or your father. You are not my princess, and you have no right to claim my life.”

Princess Azula smiled, completely unfazed. "You're living in our palace. We feed you, clothe you, provide for you. You haven't had to hunt your food since you've been here. I believe we've been quite hospitable." She closed the space between them, her face mere centimeters from his own. "It would be an insult if you didn't uphold your end of our deal. An act of war, some would say." Sokka clenched his jaw, willing himself not to flinch. "If you make no progress and Zuzu fails his trial due to your negligence… the Fire Lord's precious tradition burns away to nothing. And with it, so will you… and the rest of your little tribe." 

Sokka knew he should've been afraid. He was in the Fire Nation's palace with their vicious princess dangling a death threat above his head. Taunting him with a war. The safety of his tribe now rested on his shoulders. But backing down from Azula would've meant admitting defeat. A chief couldn't surrender without a fight. 

A chief also had a duty to protect their people. 

"Prince Zuko will learn in time. He will pass his trials. And the Fire Nation will never again set foot on the South Pole," he said. 

Azula's smile turned into a cheeky grin. She hummed and walked past him, leaving him to handle the weight of the day's revelations. 

When he couldn't hear her steps anymore, he continued to his room. 

Storybooks and scrolls filled with myths were still scattered around the room from those last few days of sickness when Zuko brought them to entertain him. 

They’d only become friends a short time ago. Sokka had been so focused on gaining his trust, his friendship, that he was entirely blindsided by the way Zuko had gained his affections much quicker and far more fiercely. 

After some time, just as sunset began, there was a knock on his door. He opened it, and his heart swelled at the sight of Zuko, much to his dismay. “Is everything alright?” Sokka asked. 

“I was going to ask you the very same thing. You left so abruptly. And… you called me Prince Zuko.” The timid tone in his voice made Sokka yearn to reassure him. 

“Lady Mai was there. I figured we had to keep up a farce.” Zuko frowned and tilted his head, trying to catch Sokka’s eye. “I meant no offense, Zuko.” 

“I’m not offended. Are you feeling ill again?” Zuko reached out as if to touch his forehead, but Sokka moved away and shook his head quickly. “Sokka?” 

“Lady Mai is lovely. You’re lucky to be betrothed to someone you love.” 

A furrow appeared on his forehead as he grimaced and laughed softly. “I do love her. Though I love her in a different way than she loves me.” Sokka’s eyes widened, but he didn’t dare ask what he meant. Zuko tapped the door. “May I?” Sokka opened it wider and let him in. “Mai has been my sister’s friend since we were children. She became mine too. They always asked me to play with them, and… well.” Zuko took a deep breath and faced Sokka. “I’m not marrying her because I love her or because a Fire Lord needs to be married by a certain age. Mai is high-born. Her family is one of the most prestigious after ours. Marrying her would restore my place among my family.” 

“What do you mean? You’re the crown prince-”

“That’s also why I require trials before my coronation. It’s why no one in the city can place a name to my face.” Slowly, his smile faded from his face. “You’ve been respectful of my privacy since we met. Despite your confusion, despite our bond…. I appreciate that. I can’t give you the whole story right now, but…. When I was younger, I lost my honor. I lost my right to the crown. My uncle convinced my father to let me restore it. In order to prove my worth to my people and to Mai, I have to succeed in my trials. Becoming the Fire Lord makes me worthy of marriage, and Mai’s family name erases what is left of my mistakes. But it isn’t out of love. Our marriage is entirely out of the need to polish my family’s image. I am grateful she is someone I know, and someone I care for.” 

It was a lot of information, and still not everything. Even with all of it, Sokka could only focus on one part. “Have you ever fallen in love?” 

“I’m not sure I know what it’s like.” Zuko stepped closer, making Sokka’s temperature rise very close to another fever. “Have you?” 

Sokka swallowed as discreetly as possible. “No. But I imagine you would know when you do.” 

Zuko nodded. “A fair point.” His eyes studied him carefully, and Sokka felt frozen. Apparently acknowledging the turmoil in his chest meant he’d paved the way for more visceral responses to his beloved friend. “You look troubled,” Zuko noted. Before Sokka could decide what to respond, Zuko continued. “Forgive me for my father and sister’s actions toward you today. They had no right to treat you the way they did. I feared if I interceded, you would suffer the repercussions.” 

“It’s alright,” Sokka said. “It isn’t your fault. I know how they see me. And I know how you see me.” Sokka looked away when Zuko smiled, somehow still looking down as if to hide it. “Isn’t Lady Mai missing you?” 

“She went to meet with Azula for a moment before we go into the city. Are you sure you don’t want to join?” 

“It’s alright. I exhausted myself in the training room, I wouldn’t be good company. I need to write Katara back so she knows I’m better.” 

“Ah, that reminds me,” Zuko said, rocking forward onto the balls of his feet in excitement. It made Sokka smile. “Uncle has arranged for you to visit the South Pole. Mai wants us to take a trip to the beach on Ember Island, and I know you wouldn’t want to spend so long around Azula. I figured it was a perfect time for you to see your home again. Ease your homesickness.” 

The announcement left Sokka speechless for a moment, staring at Zuko like he expected him to reveal it was only a cruel joke. But Zuko only looked back at him with a pleased little smile, eyebrow arched as he waited for Sokka’s response. 

“You mean it? I get to go home?” Before Zuko could give a full nod, Sokka had surged forward to embrace him. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” Sokka knew his heart was beating much faster than normal, but he wrote it off as a reaction to the news of getting to go home. 

After a moment of hesitation, Zuko’s arms came up and wrapped around Sokka. “You have nothing to thank me for.” Sokka stayed in the embrace for only a moment longer before he let go. “Uncle will give you more details tomorrow. Give Katara my regards when you write to her.” Zuko’s cheeks looked flushed as he tucked his hair behind his ear. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I hope you rest well, Sokka.” 

“You too, Zuko. Have fun in the city.” Sokka watched him as he left the room and stayed frozen in place for a long time. He needed to register the fact that Zuko clarified his feelings for Mai, that he would be going home soon, that he’d  _ hugged  _ Zuko. 

Once he got his bearings he sat down at the desk and pulled out a parchment. 

_ Oh Honorable and Esteemed Madame Katara, _

_ I’m happy to announce my  _ _~~ailment~~ _ _ physical ailment has gone away. I have been on my feet for a couple days and received your other letter this morning.  _

_ I have much to tell you. I truly don’t know where to begin.  _

_ Zuko and I are friends. Very close friends. My bedridden days strengthened the bond we’d begun. I told him the truth. I’ll tell you, having a prince becoming so invested in the betterment of your health is something everyone should experience. I had no idea my company was so enjoyable- though I’ll bet you think he’s crazy for thinking as much. Anyway, I told him what I came here for. He didn’t get angry. From there,  _ ~~_ whatever we have _ ~~ _ this friendship has become unbreakable.  _

_ I met the girl he’s meant to marry. Her name is Mai (Lady Mai to a lowly servant like me in the eyes of the princess and her father). She’s pretty. She isn’t like the other royals, though she is apparently of noble birth. He’s calm around her. Nothing like the way he gets when he’s around his family.  _

~~_ I’ve had a realization  _ ~~

~~_ I saw them sit _ ~~

~~_ My sanity may be _ ~~

_ Forgive the mess. I’m not quite sure where my head is at. Today has been an eventful and impactful day. I think I’m still processing it all. I had another run in with the princess, but I’ll spare you the details for now.  _

_ I have some good news! Zuko spoke to his uncle after witnessing my fits of homesickness. Since his betrothed is here, he plans to go somewhere with her and the princess. He’s asked his uncle to arrange a visit home for me. By the time you get this letter, I may be on the ocean, anxiously waiting to see the icecaps and snowy shore. Once I’m there, I might be able to give you more details about the things I’ve seen here and everything that is rattling in my head. I will have to return seeing as I still need to teach Zuko to swordfight, but spirits-willing, this won’t be my only trip home while I have to be away.  _

_ I can’t wait to see you again. Tell Gran, but don’t tell the kids. I want to surprise them.  _

_ I’ll see you soon, Katara. _

_ Your brother,  _

_ Sokka _


	6. About Variations of Homesickness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank you all enough for your feedback and comments! They honestly get me through the week.   
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> Happy Reading!  
> -Phoenix

Home. The air was brisk, biting at his nose in greeting, numbing his fingers as he pulled on his mittens. The white snow glittered under the moonlight and distant fires, celebrating his return. Home was his tribe, all of them gathered on the shore to welcome him back the second he stepped down the ramp. Home comprised of these warm embraces and his name called out in several, familiar voices. The feeling of furs against his face for every person he hugged.

It was his sister hanging from his neck as she held him tighter, longer than everyone else. And the kids tackling him to the ground, showing him their necklaces and their new furs. 

It was huddling around a fire to eat, finally getting a chance to talk between chews. For the first time, Katara didn’t tell him not to talk with his mouth full. 

“I haven’t had a chance to go to the city again, so I didn’t bring anything, but I remember what everyone wanted.” 

“Don’t worry about that,” Gran said, playfully ruffling his wolf tail. “So tell us, what all do your days at the palace consist of?” 

Sokka shook his head as he practically licked his fingers clean. “Not very much. Zuko studies a lot, so I’m mostly following him or sitting near him in the gardens or in the library or in his room. When he goes to see his uncle, I wait until their lessons are done and join them for tea. Iroh likes to play pai sho, and I still don’t get it, but he’s been trying to teach me. I was figuring out new ways to pass the time when I got sick, and then Lady Mai came, so the routine hasn’t changed much. Zuko read stories and poems while I was sick, but he needs to work on his voices. I might force him to practice whenever I get back.” 

“Have you gotten any sword fighting lessons in during all that leisure time?” 

The question made Sokka’s mouth go dry. Princess Azula’s threat echoed in the back of his mind. “No. Not yet. Although I did show him that a lot of his firebending techniques could be used with a sword. And he knows I need to teach him. He insists he doesn’t need to be taught, but considering how vigorous everything there is, and how cruel his father can be, I know he needs to refine whatever skill he has. Although he’s stubborn. I’m not sure how to convince him. Can someone be proud and humble at once? Because I think he can be.” 

Silence settled between them, the idle crackling of the fire serving as faded background noise. Though this silence wasn’t like his silences with Zuko. This one felt tense and heavy. 

“You’ve gotten to know him very well,” Gran noted. 

“They’re good friends, Gran-Gran. I told you,” Katara said. She turned to Sokka and asked, “How long will you be staying?” 

“I’m not sure. Zuko didn’t tell me how long he would be gone or when he needed me back. He just said his uncle would take care of it.” The memory of the last day he spent at the palace resurfaced, and Sokka forced himself to remain neutral. The awkward hug, the repeated goodbyes, the strange sadness that lingered between them as Sokka got onto the ship…. Though it was an excuse for his lack of planning, he preferred to keep it to himself. Too many emotions he didn’t want to indulge at the moment. 

“Hopefully you’ll stay long enough to see Dad when he gets back. Are you done?” Sokka nodded and helped her clear their plates. Gran left the igloo, most likely going to check on the others.

“Has there been an improvement with the fish?” 

“We haven’t gone out for them,” Katara said. “Dad said to hold off on fishing for a while. But don’t worry, we have plenty of resources. The kids just went on their hunt and we used that meat during the last few days.” She peeked out the igloo before returning to sit beside him. “In your last letter, you mentioned a lot of thoughts going through your head. Is everything okay?” 

Such a simple question and somehow it managed to require a complicated answer. One Sokka still wasn’t sure he could give in an articulate way. “Yes. I just know I need to get started on lessons, and… like I said, Zuko is stubborn. The first thing he said when I told him why I was there was that he wouldn’t accept lessons.” 

“So why don’t you just come home?” she asked. “If he doesn't want lessons, then you’re wasting your time there.” 

Was that the obvious thing to do? If it was, why couldn’t Sokka bring himself to consider it? 

He sighed and rubbed his head, letting some of his control slip away. Those emotions he didn’t want to name insisted on his response, his justification, with every beat of his heart. 

“He’s my friend. The palace is a dreary place, Katara. He’s alone all day if he isn’t with me or his uncle. I don’t want to leave him.” He couldn’t bear to leave Zuko behind to handle the loneliness, the misery all alone. At least together, Zuko laughed and acted his age. His stomach twisted at the idea of turning his back on him. His heart ached at the idea of never seeing him again. “I’ll teach him. I will. I have to.” 

Katara didn’t answer. Not right away. She put a hand on his shoulder, and Sokka could see her watching him from his peripheral. She had always been good at noticing when something wasn’t right with him. “Are you up for a walk?” 

She didn’t exactly give him a chance to answer before she stood up and walked out of the igloo. Reluctantly, Sokka followed, ignoring the sense of dread that began to weigh on his shoulders.

Together, they walked to the ocean shore. The kids were playing a game of catch while their parents worked on miscellaneous chores or indulged in conversation off to one side. The brisk air numbed Sokka’s nose quickly, but he welcomed it. They walked in silence for a short while, absorbed by the darkness. It felt so dreary compared to the bright days back at the Fire Nation, but at the same time its familiarity soothed him.

“What’s on your mind, Sokka?” Katara asked after they’d walked far enough that the idle chatter of their people had faded into the winds. 

The answer that came to his mind was  _ Zuko.  _ Mostly because Zuko was always on his mind lately. Maybe he’d always been on his mind before that, but at the time it made sense because they were always together. He was somehow  _ more  _ prominent in his thoughts now that they were far from each other, which didn’t seem fair to Sokka. 

“Nothing. I’m just tired from travelling, and I’m trying to get used to our long night again. I did tell you I might return spoiled.” 

Katara sighed and stopped walking, grabbing Sokka by the elbow to stop him in his tracks. When he looked at her, she seemed a bit exasperated. “I know you,” she said, her gaze searing into him. “Something is weighing on you. You’re sullen.” She let go of his arm and turned to face him fully. “Your last letter, your thoughts were scrambled. Is it about that? All those things you said you had to process?” 

He couldn’t hide anything from his sister. She knew him too well, she was too smart for him to get away with anything. And he respected her too much to give her an outright lie, at least about something this important. 

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to put a name to those affections toward Zuko. Not out loud. Not yet. A part of him still believed he could reason his way out of them, convince himself that Zuko’s relationship with Lady Mai was reason enough to stifle them. 

“Princess Azula threatened me. And the tribe.” 

His sister’s eyes went wide, a mix of rage and disbelief. “What? Why?” 

“She said that if Zuko fails his trials, it’s because I didn’t teach him. By not upholding my end of the agreement, it’s taken as an act of disrespect to the Fire Lord because they’ve taken me in. It would be the start to a war and I would be the first casualty.” 

“They can’t  _ do  _ that,” Katara said fiercely. The ocean waves grew, pulling the shoreline closer as the water responded to her emotions. “They wouldn’t survive here. The cold would be too much. The terrain is their weakness-” 

“Their bodies regulate their temperatures. Firebenders, at least. Even so, I wouldn’t want to risk it. The Fire Lord and the princess are ruthless. I know it isn’t an empty threat.” 

“Then you have two choices. You know that, don’t you?” She stared at him, waiting for him to get it. “You won’t come home. But what kind of friend is the prince if he would risk your life for his pride? If he would risk your  _ home  _ for the sake of rejecting his father’s demands?” 

“I never told him,” Sokka admitted softly. “I never told him what his sister said to me.” 

“Oh, Sokka,” she said with a frustrated smack of her teeth. She started walking, moving faster out of the built up aggravation. Sokka followed with his head hung low. “You have to tell him. He needs to let you teach him. Or you come home and let someone else take the job.” She glanced at him, but Sokka didn’t answer. “You say you’re homesick. You’re the next chief. You’re risking your life by staying. Has the prince really become such a close friend that he outweighs all of that? Do you care for him so much that he keeps you tethered to that strange place?” 

“He has,” Sokka whispered. “I do.” 

“Sokka….” Realization dripped in her voice. Gentle and understanding, but still wary. 

He shook his head. “Not now, Katara. I don’t want to think about the Fire Nation right now. I want to enjoy being home. I want to eat and play with the kids and stare at the sky and help with chores.” 

Katara pursed her lips, but eventually gave in with a nod. “Okay. But Sokka?” He sighed and figured he might as well take whatever reprimand or snide remark she wanted him to think over. “I know I’m your little sister, and maybe you don’t want to talk about things with me. But as your sister, I’m here for you. Whenever you do want to talk about everything else… we can.” 

He smiled at her and nodded. “I know.” 

“Okay.” She stopped and looked back in the direction from where they came. “Penguin sledding or boomerang toss with the kids?” 

For the rest of the day, Sokka distracted himself by giving the younger children piggyback rides and chasing penguins to slide down slopes. They gathered around him, asking him about his time in the palace. They desperately wanted to hear his first hand account of failed target practice. 

While he didn’t have too many funny stories up his sleeve, he recounted the ones they wanted and then proceeded to tell them some of the stories Zuko read to him while he was sick. 

He told them about the boy and his father who became the first firebenders. He told them the story of Zuko’s great grandfathers who’d best friends, one of which had been the avatar. He told them about the sun warriors Zuko swore his uncle met, and how they understood the real root of firebending. 

As he relayed the stories, a strange feeling spread through him, beginning in his chest and coursing through every limb. It left him feeling oddly out of place. Not quite that he didn’t belong, but like something was missing. Despite the way his memories elicited fondness, they also left him with a strange sense of loss. Suddenly, Sokka felt heavy, stretched too thin, like a bowstring about to snap. He wasn’t sure why, and he wasn’t sure what exactly the feeling was. 

It seemed similar to homesickness, but he  _ was  _ home. Thinking of the Fire Nation didn’t bring him any sense of comfort or longing. He didn’t miss being constrained to palace walls and overwhelming heat. He didn’t even miss the daylight when he could look up and see the stars so clearly, it was as if he could reach out and put some in his pocket. He didn’t miss the loneliness he felt there. The Fire Nation wasn’t home. 

Still, the stories left their strange sensation in him. Memories of laying in bed while Zuko read from a scroll with a soothing voice severely lacking in fun inflections, but still heavy with emotion and respect for each word flashed in his head. 

The feeling magnified in the pit of his chest, so tangible that it left him breathless. 

It was  _ Zuko.  _

He missed Zuko. After spending nearly every hour of the day with him for as long as he had, it felt strange being away. He had no way to contact him, no idea when he would see him again. Maybe his heart had been stretched across the ocean waves that divided the palace from the South Pole. That would explain the ache, the strong sense that something was missing, that Sokka was only barely balancing himself on a taut string. 

He missed his friend. 

The rest of the things Sokka felt for him only sharpened the feeling. 

The kids returned to their igloos and tents for supper and bedtime. Sokka had lost his appetite and excused himself, opting to go to bed and rest after his travels. 

The next couple days were an old routine. He played with the children, helped Gran cook, led a hunt for their dinner, and watched Katara waterbend. At times, the comfort of home and the joy of being so interactive with his whole tribe allowed his mind to stay busy, far from the memories of the suffocating palace. Other times, something would happen, and Sokka would immediately think it was something he wanted to tell Zuko about. It hit hardest at night and when he first woke up, those quiet moments that just didn’t seem the same without his friend. At those times the oddly hollow feeling in his chest gaped wider, enveloping Sokka in a sense of loneliness. 

He loved being home. He’d missed the ease he had around Katara, the side glares she gave him when he made a joke at her expense. He loved repeating the same stories to the kids who always reacted like it was the first time he told it. Somehow though, it wasn’t enough to push away the melancholy that overwhelmed him when all distractions were gone.

He’d taken to laying down outside and staring at the sky.

The sky wasn’t like this in the fire nation. The stars looked more distant there. The sky seemed just a touch lighter, maybe illuminated by the fires of the city street lamps. Here, they lit the sky up in faint colors, like the spirits had streaked them across the sky with brushes. The sky earlier had been only slightly lighter, but not by much. Now it was black, and still the stars shone brightly enough that they made the snow, the igloos, and the distant ice caps glitter as they reflected the silver light. 

“Aren’t you cold?” Katara asked. Sokka tilted his head back until Katara came into view, albeit upside down. “What are you doing?” 

“I’m thinking,” he said, returning his gaze to the sky. Katara sat down beside him, carefully placing the torch she had in the snow next to her. “I miss the cold. It’s far better than being too hot.” He glanced over at her when he heard something crinkle in her hands. “What’s that?” 

“Letters. I was rereading some of yours and I found the ones Mom and Dad used to send each other.” 

Sokka laughed and shook his head. “They lived across from each other, why did they send letters? And how did you get them?” 

“They’re the ones they would send when Dad would sail away,” she said, throwing a handful of snow at his face. He sputtered and sat up, shoving her shoulder in retaliation. “It’s romantic! I was missing Mom, and Dad showed me these. He told me to take care of them and I put them in my stationary box.”

He hummed, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to read through his parents’ love letters. “Why were you rereading mine?” 

Katara smoothed out the parchments, her expression carefully neutral. “Reading them now, after seeing you again, the way you’ve been the last couple days…. It’s just different.” Sokka clenched his jaw. Surely nothing in his letters could have exposed his affections. He’d only become aware of them himself in the last letter. Katara looked at him, but Sokka kept his gaze on the distant skyline. “You miss him.” 

“He’s my friend,” he answered. 

She sighed, sounding exasperated, but her voice remained gentle. “You can talk to me about it, you know?” 

“I do,” he said, finally looking at her. “But I’m afraid that if I voice it…. What do I do if it gets worse? If it gets to a point where I can’t stifle it-”

“You’re already doing a horrible job at it.” Sokka rolled his eyes and huddled into himself. “Sokka,” she said, nudging his shoulder with her own.

“He’s engaged, Katara. Why indulge it if he’s meant to be with someone else?” 

She didn’t respond until he looked at her again, a sad smile on her face. “Because emotions don’t listen to reason and logic. It’s better to be able to confide in someone than to let them suffocate you.” She put her arm around his shoulders. “And the feelings don’t go away just because you don’t talk about them.” She sighed in resignation. “But I don’t want to push too much. I just wanted you to know you didn’t have to hide it if you didn’t want to.” 

She pulled away, playfully shoving his head forward as she tousled his hair. 

As she grabbed the torch, preparing to stand up, Sokka said, “I saw him kiss her. That’s when I realized my emotions ran deeper than I accounted for.” Katara released the torch, leaving it stuck in the snow. She turned toward him slightly, but Sokka couldn’t bring himself to look at her directly. “That night he told me that he loved her, but not in the way she loves him. That he was happy to marry her because she was his friend, but that it wasn’t out of love.” He looked up at the sky, feeling his cheeks burn. “I felt hopeful when he told me that. And I’ve been running… every interaction through my brain. His closeness when I was sick, each smile he’s given me, shared looks over tea with his uncle. He’s enough to tether me to a place that isn’t even my home. How can someone have such a hold on me?” 

Katara smiled sympathetically. “I think he worked his way to your heart long before you realized what it was.” She held up the letters. “I’d begun to wonder with your last letter, all the things you scratched out. Once you got here, it seemed clearer. The way you talk about him. The way you brighten when you say his name. And the way you turn solemn once you’ve finished talking about him. Reading back on these, it makes sense. I see the changes in the way you’d write about him.” 

“No one can fall in love so quickly. We only recently solidified our friendship-” 

“Maybe it isn’t love. But it’s something strong and it’s drawn you to him. Maybe it’s drawn you both to each other.” 

If Sokka was hurting so much already and it wasn’t love, he didn’t think he wanted to know what it was to love someone. “Well, if it isn’t love it’s infatuation. Better for me. I can stop it before it grows. Otherwise I’m only setting myself up for heartbreak.”

Although Katara didn’t respond to that, she did give him a look that conveyed the fact that she  _ wanted  _ to say something. And whatever it was, Sokka knew it would be something he didn’t want to hear, but was also right, because that’s usually how it was with Katara. He appreciated her silence instead.

They stayed a few moments longer before Katara stood and returned to the igloo. Sokka followed shortly after, seeking solace in sleep. 

He dreamt of blazing golden eyes, sheepish smiles, long ebony hair, and the cold touch of fingertips grazing his head. 

When he woke up, Sokka had every intention of busying himself until the memories of his dreams dissipated like the steam coming from whatever breakfast Gran was making. Before he could even set foot out the igloo, Gran tossed him a scroll. 

“This came for you,” she said. Her wizened eyes watched him carefully. “Arrived as soon as I woke up. Katara is entertaining the hawk outside.” 

Though it was a sight he would’ve loved to see, he was more distracted by the emblem on the scroll. It was from the palace. He’d seen Zuko writing notes enough times to recognize his handwriting. 

He unrolled it, still rubbing his bleary eyes, and stood closer to the fire to use its light. 

_ My dearest friend,  _

_ I hope this letter reaches you without causing alarm. Nothing is wrong and you aren’t being called back just yet. I’m still at the beach house with Mai, Azula, and Ty Lee. I know you don’t know her, but I think you’d get along.  _

_ If I’m honest, the reason I’m writing to you is because the days have been strange without you. I’ve grown used to having you near and being entertained by your distracted whistling. I hope this letter isn’t unwelcome- I know you returned home because you missed it, and I’d hate to encroach on your visit. _

_ Did you arrive safely? Was the journey comfortable? How is everyone? The beach here on Ember Island is lovely, though I’d much rather be sharing this experience with you than with Azula. _

_ Tell me if I should cease writing to you until I require your return. I would love to hear from you even if only once.  _

~~_ With regards, the crown prince of the Fire Nation and _ ~~

_ Your friend,  _

_ Zuko _

Sokka read it again, then once more. Both times, his attention was drawn to the fact that Zuko expressly wanted him at his side while he was on vacation. Then he left the igloo, searching for Katara who was feeding the hawk pieces of blubber. 

“Katara, can I borrow some parchments? And ink? I need to write back to Zuko.” 

His sister looked at him smugly, but he didn’t have it in him to be annoyed at her for it. He just wanted to write back. She told him where to find the supplies and Sokka immediately started his letter.

He reassured Zuko that his letter was received with joy, seeing as Sokka had also gotten used to seeing him every day. He wrote out funny anecdotes of the things he’d do with the kids, told him about their reactions to the very stories Zuko had read to him, and filled him in on what Gran and Katara were doing at that very moment. 

“Are you writing a letter or a novel?” Gran asked when Sokka had turned to the back of his third page. His cheeks warmed, but he continued to write. 

When he finally wrapped it up, he signed it with Zuko’s words-  _ Your dearest friend, Sokka.  _ He tried taking the hawk from Katara but she held him back, reminding him that the hawk needed to rest before being sent back. 

Sokka waited until the next day to send his letter. That evening, while Sokka mirrored Katara’s waterbending with his own sword fighting movements, they saw a couple of water tribe boats sailing toward them. They let the rest of the village know then gathered at the shore, ready to greet the traders after their travels. 

Their dad looked surprised and overjoyed to see Sokka there, and he was the first one off the boat to greet his children. 

“Did you finish lessons already?” 

Katara snorted. “He hasn’t even started.” 

“I will!” Sokka said indignantly. “Zuko went on a vacation, and he arranged for me to visit home in the meantime! How did it go in the Earth Kingdom?” 

Their dad put his arms around them, leading them back toward the igloos. “It went well. You know how it goes. I’m much more interested to hear how you’ve been doing in the Fire Nation palace.” Katara gave him a subtle, knowing grin that he promptly ignored. “Where’s your Gran?” 

After the pleasantries and welcomes throughout the tribe, Sokka returned to his igloo with his family. Gran was about to serve dinner and his dad had just settled into a chair. 

The following days, Sokka returned to his previous routine of shadowing his father. He scoured the sky whenever he had a chance, looking for the hawk, even when he knew it wouldn’t be sensible to expect it. Still, Zuko’s first letter had been enough to ease the heavy feeling Sokka had felt at first. 

He found himself rereading the letter before bed, wondering to himself if Zuko felt the same sense of hollowness, the same sensation of being stretched across the land. Or wondering what he thought as he wrote the letter in his elegant script. He worried about whether Zuko would be able to understand his handwriting, especially when it bunched up over several pages, and it gave him a sense of embarrassment to think of Zuko trying to decipher it all. 

“What’s that?” he heard his dad ask as he entered the igloo. 

Sokka jumped slightly as his cheeks colored. “A letter from Zuko. He sent it some days ago.” His dad raised an eyebrow, but Sokka ignored him and put the letter away. “Where’s Katara?” 

“Helping Lana with her baby. He’s fussy, but she calms him down with waterbending.”

“Sokka! That squawking bird of yours is back,” Gran called out. Sokka shoved his blankets away and rushed past his dad to get out of the igloo. A hawk was perched on Gran’s shoulder, nicking at her hood as she nudged its head aside. “There he is, go pester him,” she said shaking out her shoulder. 

The hawk squawked and flew over to Sokka before perching itself on his forearm. “Hey, buddy! Got a letter for me?” The hawk ducked its head to gesture at its talons where a parchment scroll was tied securely. “Let’s get you a treat, huh?” Sokka took the bird into the igloo and grabbed a piece of blubber that had been left over after dinner. Then he untied the scroll and moved to sit near the fire. 

_ Sokka, _

_ Receiving your letter was like welcoming a piece of you. I enjoyed every word of it. I’ve missed your rambling- they always filled the silences in the best way. I’m glad you’ve been enjoying your time at home, and I’m glad the tribe members enjoy the stories. I’m sure you tell them in a much more entertaining way, after all.  _

_ There was a bit of a mishap, so I return to the palace tomorrow. By the time you get this I may be there already. You’re welcome to stay in the South Pole for longer. Azula thinks I already sent for your return. Uncle will send a letter letting you know when to expect him. I promise I will try to prolong your return as much as possible. Please know that my reason for doing so is solely so you can enjoy your time with your family for longer, not because I want to keep you away. You’re lucky to have such a strong community, and I know the palace is a lonesome place to be.  _

_ I wish I could write you long, eloquent paragraphs about my time at the beach the way you wrote about your home. The thing is, it was simply a beach, and while the company I had there was mostly enjoyable, there are no bonds or games like the ones you have. The best company has been Mai, but my sister steals her away often. The highlight of my time here was receiving your letter and reading it on the patio.  _

_ Know that I’ll eagerly await your return, but please don’t rush for my sake. Enjoy your family, your friends, your home.  _

_ Yours, _

_ Zuko _

A few strokes of a brush and Zuko had managed to unravel Sokka and all of those emotions he wanted to deny. Maybe he meant it in terms of friends, of companionship, but the words had still shaken Sokka to his core. 

“Sokka?” 

He looked up to see Katara, and the second she saw his expression, hers softened. Like she knew. Like maybe the defeat was clear on his face, the surrender to the way his heart beat faster and harder with these words in his hands. 

“Would you like another parchment?” she asked. He could only nod in response. 

He read the letter a few more times, each time lingering longer and longer on that sign off.  _ Yours, Zuko. Yours, Zuko. Yours, Zuko.  _


	7. About Common History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! <3 Thank you guys for commenting

_ My beloved friend-  _

_ Solitude used to be comforting to me. It meant I didn't have to put up a farce- for my father, for the people, even on occasion for my uncle (though I doubt I ever fooled him). I used to welcome its silence. Now I find I can't stand it.  _

_ Even though Mai stayed a while longer with me, I feel your absence heavily now that I've returned to the palace. So much so that I couldn't wait for your response before writing to you again. (This is Uncle's hawk. His name is Lee.) Even in our silences, there was the steady sound of your breaths, your low whistling, the sounds you don't seem to be aware of making when you're lost in thought trying to figure something out. They brought me comfort without my realizing it. They reminded me I had a friend.  _

_ Uncle says I’ve been foolish for not taking up sword lessons just to spite my father, but if I had, then you would never have come into my life. You have snuck your way into my  _ _ af  _ _ friendly affections. I recognize it may be selfish of me to steal you away for the sake of your company. I do hate to see your pain when you're homesick.  _

_ In any case, I apologize for such a quick subsequent letter. Again, I hope your family is well and that you're enjoying your time there. I promise I won't force you to stay by my side forever…. Your presence is dearly missed.  _

_ Yours,  _

_ Zuko _

Something about the letter caused a dull pain in Sokka's heart. There was some truth to his words. He should've been frustrated at Zuko's pride because it would keep him from home for longer. 

It scared him a bit to recognize that instead, the fact gave him a sense of joy. He looked forward to having more time with Zuko, even if only as a friend. He hated the idea of Zuko being alone in the palace again. He had Iroh of course, but… well the letter said it. He missed Sokka, apparently as much as Sokka missed him. 

He reread the first two paragraphs over and over, with his stomach flipping and his cheeks burning more each time. How had Sokka not realized how much attention Zuko paid him? Though the mention of Lady Mai also left a bitter taste in his mouth as envy flared, and his mind ran wild, conjuring up images of Lady Mai kissing Zuko over and over. He shook the thought away, reminding himself that Lady Mai had every right to kiss Zuko if she wanted. If he wanted. 

He hadn't sent his reply to the letter from the night before yet, mainly because he had been rendered incoherent after reading the sign off. He'd only wasted good parchment which made Katara send him to bed to rest. 

"Another letter already?" his dad asked when he saw Sokka reading it yet again, the parchment nearly touching his nose from his desire to absorb the word into his own existence. "Does the prince need you to return?" 

"Not yet. He wrote to let me know he was helping me stay longer before the Fire Lord noticed my absence. He's just lonely." Sokka put the letter with the other two and nervously fidgeted with his necklace. 

There was a brief silence which his dad broke with, "Do you want to go back?" 

The tone with which he asked told Sokka he'd been more transparent about his feelings than he meant to be. It was soft and understanding. He was letting Sokka know the option was there, and he could take it. 

"I don't know," he admitted. The only thing calling him back was Zuko. If he could bring Zuko to the South Pole and keep him there, then there would be no better place to be. 

His dad put a hand on his shoulder. "Think it over, Sokka. You'll have your place here for the rest of your life. You have a job at the palace now. I'm still here." His smile slowly faded, and a crease appeared between his eyebrows. "Just be careful, son. Don't give your heart to someone who doesn't have the liberty to take it." 

Though the words were important, they were said in vain. Sokka was certain it was too late. Still he nodded. 

"Thanks, Dad. I'm gonna find Katara. We promised the kids we'd have a snowball fight today. Let me know if the council decides to try fishing again." 

His dad nodded, dropping his hand from his shoulder. Sokka left the igloo and went to find Katara where she was making a necklace by the torchlight with one of the other girls. 

"What's the necklace for?" Sokka asked as he approached. 

"To pass the time," his sister answered. "So what did the letter say?" 

Sokka sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll tell you later. Anyway, are you up for that snowball fight we promised? No waterbending, though- otherwise all the kids want to be on your team." 

"Well, they know who's best," Katara said smugly. The girl beside her laughed and shared a conspiring look with Katara. 

Sokka muttered under his breath as they stood from the ground. They rallied the kids up, split up into teams, then went to claim their terrain. The kids varied in ages from toddlers to teens, so Sokka made a battle plan based on their ages. 

Before they could get too invested, a snowball hit the back of Sokka's hood. 

"What- hey! We didn't call start!" 

"It's war, Sokka! Go, go, go!" Katara shouted. 

Sokka saw several snowballs hurtling towards them. "Okay, new plan- throw as many snowballs as fast as you can! Let's go!" 

The two sides clashed with delighted shrieks and peals of laughter, throwing snowballs at their whim. 

Sokka accidentally threw a snowball right at Katara's face, and before he had a chance to apologize, she lifted a pillar of snow and had it collapse over him, tumbling him to the ground. 

"We said no bending!" 

"We said no face hits!" she answered. Then she threw a snowball at his face. 

The game went on until everyone was too exhausted to keep running and throwing, most of them already laughing too hard to keep going. It was unclear who won, but the smiles Sokka saw were more than enough. 

Katara went to stand by him as they watched the kids slowly recover, resorting to sculpting the snow or making up songs between laughter. "These always make me feel like a kid again. Remember the time you hit me so hard I fell face-first to the ground?" 

"Katara, I was a  _ child.  _ I didn't know my own strength." 

"'Don't cry, Tara, you can push me down too!'" Katara cried out, mimicking Sokka's high pitched voice when he was little. 

"Yeah, and you did. Way harder. But I still got in trouble!" Katara laughed and shook her head. "Can I ask you something?" She nodded and tilted her head inquisitively. "Should I be angry with Zuko? For not letting me teach him?" 

Katara stayed quiet for a moment, thinking. "It would make sense if you were. But I think you enjoy his company enough that you aren't."

“Should I? Enjoy his company?” 

She sighed, keeping her gaze on the scene in front of them. “I don’t think there’s a way to answer that. You can list out reasons you shouldn’t, reasons you shouldn’t feel what you feel for him. But it’s not going to stop what your heart is feeling. You can’t teach a heart reason.” 

“How unfortunate,” Sokka said, wishing that he could get rid of the strange contradiction warring inside of him. A strange sense of weightlessness that warred with the feeling of heaviness that threatened to sink him. He missed being oblivious, unaware of his growing affections. At least then, he wasn’t talking himself in circles. “Could I borrow your parchment and ink?” 

Katara nodded. “You know where it is.” 

He thanked her and returned to the igloo before sitting near the fire. He reread Zuko’s previous letters before beginning his own. 

_ My dearest, Zuko _

_ You speak as if being with you is a punishment. I assure you it isn’t. I don’t understand how rejecting a teacher is a small rebellion against your father, but I hold no resentment towards you. I would ask if you’d like to visit the South Pole, but we are currently experiencing our long night. You mentioned gaining strength from the sun with your firebending, so I don’t think my home would be compatible with you…. _

_ I’m sorry to hear how little you enjoyed your time away from the palace. My heart aches to know you couldn’t enjoy yourself. Maybe we could go together when I return, if you’d like.  _

_ There isn’t much of the Fire Nation to miss, but I hope you know you’ve been a strong enough force to make me feel like there’s something missing here. I’ve grown used to your presence too. The silences here are different from the ones we share on your balcony or in the gardens. I’ve even missed the games of pai sho with your uncle. The feeling is strong enough to make me look forward to returning, whenever that may be.  _

_ I don’t think I expected this friendship to take such a strong hold. I’d hoped to befriend you when I met you; I’ve always wanted to remain sincere even if I had to live there under a farce. But now with the transparency between us, I think we gave our bond an unmanageable strength. I hope it transcends my departure from the palace when the time comes.  _

_ I didn’t mean to end on such a bitter note. My thoughts got away from me, and Katara says I shouldn’t waste anymore ink and parchment, and so the thoughts are now here. I hope the days aren’t too dull. I hope to see you soon, my friend. Until then, keep writing me. _

_ Yours, _

_ Sokka _

The last two words looked messy. His hand began to shake at the thought of writing it out, but if Zuko did it, surely it was fine for Sokka to as well. And by the time he’d talked himself through it, he’d already written it out. 

He sighed, refusing to second-guess the letter much longer. He walked toward the first hawk which was perched on a chair. After tying the letter to it, he walked out of the igloo, whispered Zuko’s name and let the hawk fly. 

He went back inside to put away the things he’d borrowed from Katara to put them back. As he returned the ink and brushes, he saw letters with unfamiliar handwriting. The parchment they were written on looked aged, creased in places where they’d been folded. 

It must have been the letters his parents sent to each other. 

Sokka pulled them out, feeling drawn to the gentle loops of writing that must have been his mother’s. He didn’t think he wanted to read the love letters between his parents, but there was some life in those old parchment pages, pieces of his mother that continued to live. 

Every letter began with  _ “My love,”  _ and ended with,  _ “Yours always.”  _ As he skimmed them, certain phrases stood out to him. Moments where his parents’ words to each other mirrored the things Zuko would write, the ways Sokka responded or even the thoughts he wouldn’t let take shape in ink. 

_ I feel your absence like a weight in my chest, while also feeling the hollow emptiness in my arms where you should be.  _

_ I miss that pensive look on your face when you get tired, and the way you talk to yourself when you think no one pays attention, my dearest Hakoda. _

_ You’ve only just sailed away, and already my heart aches for your touch, my love.  _

_ The city is lovely, but it loses its enchantment when I recall you aren’t here to share it with me. _

_ How have you managed to make silences note your absence? Without you, silence is overwhelming. With you, they are a comfort. Come home soon, my love. _

_ I’d give up every sight I’ve seen if it meant I never left your side again. I long to return to you. _

Sokka felt like his entire body had lost its strength. He couldn’t stop reading the letters again and again until his eyes hurt, until the words mixed in his memory with Zuko’s letters. 

The urge to return grew stronger the longer he sat there with the letters in his lap. It magnified at the realization that Zuko would have already been alone in the palace for at least two days now. His time at Zuko’s side was limited, and he would always have his home to come back to. 

Maybe Zuko was selfish in keeping Sokka for longer than necessary. But Sokka wanted to be selfish too. He wanted to take as much time with Zuko as he could. It would hurt to leave, but it was bound to hurt whether Sokka indulged it or not. 

He looked at the other hawk where it pecked at its wing carelessly. Sokka wouldn’t be able to send it out until that night or the next day. He returned his parents’ letters to their place in Katara’s box of stationary. He’d write it when he talked it over with his family. 

The kids had returned with Katara, most of them set out to do some kind of chore by their parents. He couldn’t see Katara, but he heard her when she called his name. Their dad was a couple steps behind her, and Sokka met them both halfway. 

“Want to come fishing? Dad wants my help assessing the current fish accessibility.” Sokka nodded and joined them both on a small boat. They rowed out leisurely, taking their time as the moonlight reflected on the water. “Are you alright?” Katara asked. 

Dad glanced at him, but kept his focus on the water. Maybe he assumed Sokka was still torn between returning and staying. He smiled sheepishly and debated telling Katara that he read the letters. Then again, he didn’t want to bring up his mom when they were in a boat in the middle of the ocean. 

“Do I not seem alright?” he asked. Katara shared a look with their dad and Sokka narrowed his eyes. “Wait- did you two plan this? Bring me out to the middle of the ocean for an interrogation?” 

“It’s not an interrogation,” Dad said. 

Sokka should’ve seen it coming. It was something they did ever since they were little. Coming out to the waters was usually a way to talk about anything that was troubling one of them, or a way to force them to make up after a particularly bad argument between them. Considering the fact that his entire family seemed to pick up on his affinity for Zuko, he should’ve known they’d do this. 

“I’ve got nothing to say,” he said. 

“Liar,” Katara said with an unimpressed expression. 

Sokka huffed and slouched where he sat. Was he expected to lay out everything he could hardly bring himself to form into thoughts? Was he supposed to tell them about how envious he felt of a beautiful girl who had the liberty of tasting Zuko’s lips as she desired, that Sokka had half a mind to kiss her when he saw her just in case the taste lingered? Or that if he could, he would steal Zuko from that lonely palace and keep him safe from his maniacal family, away from an arranged marriage. That despite knowing him for such a short time, Sokka’s soul felt like he’d known Zuko for all his life and that drew him to the prince so strongly that he longed to return to a place that made him miserable just to see him again. 

He looked at his dad and his sister, both watching him expectantly and immediately decided he was not going to do any of that. 

Though having them take the time to try and hear him out did make him feel like he owed them  _ something.  _ Sokka sighed and sat up, crossing his arms. “I decided to ask Iroh to come for me. It won’t be for another few days if he does come, but…. I need to start Zuko’s lessons, and I don’t like the idea of him being alone there. I’m sending the hawk tonight.” 

“You’re following your heart, but you’re dishonest as to why,” Dad said. He raised an eyebrow.

“How many times do I have to explain that he’s engaged?” Sokka said, throwing his hands in the air in frustration. “He’s going to get married within the next year, he’s going to become the Fire Lord and I have to come here and become the Chief when you think I’m ready for it. Whatever feelings I have for Zuko, I can’t indulge them. But I can be a good friend and enjoy what little time I have with him.” He glared at the water, cheeks burning after his outburst. 

“We just want to help, Sokka,” Katara said. She had a worried tone in her voice that reminded Sokka that his family only wanted the best for him. “It isn’t good to keep pain to yourself.” 

“Friendships can be more resilient than you know, Sokka. Don’t assume that Zuko will be out of your life just because you return home,” Dad said. “Maybe not in the way you’d like him to be, but he can still be part of your life.” 

“Thank you for the advice,” Sokka said with a groan as he covered his face with his hands. “Can we fish now? Please?” Dad managed an apologetic smile before nodding at Katara. She stood up and lifted her hands, pulling up the water along with startled fish swarming around. “How does it feel to stare your meal in the face before their murder, Katara?” He saw her sigh, and with a flick of her wrist, a tentacle of water whipped right at him, complete with a fish that flapped twice against his face and knocked him off the bench onto his rear. “Ow! Katara!” 

“No fish head soup for you tonight,” she said, gently settling the water against the net their dad set out, catching the fish in it. 

Their dad laughed and shook his head. “You two never grow up.” 

The next day, Sokka went for another walk along the shore with Katara. Far enough away from their tribe, she began to waterbend. It was always easier for her during their long night because of the constant presence of the moon. He noticed that Katara kept touching her necklace whenever she took a break, a mindless habit that she usually did when she missed Mom. 

“Wanna talk about it?” he offered without stating what he meant. 

Katara let the water she was molding in the air drop, causing some to splash against Sokka’s legs. “It’s been so long. What more could I possibly say?” She lifted a strip of water, pulling her arms in sharply before pushing out and letting it whip against a glacier in the distance. The part the water had sliced through slowly slid off and plopped into the water. “I sound like a broken record at this point.” 

Sokka walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “I read the letters. Ever since, I’ve been missing her more too. She seemed so alive in them, like maybe I could hear her saying those things or maybe I saw her writing one of those letters without realizing it.” Katara stared at the dark ocean wordlessly. “Grief doesn’t just disappear. It doesn’t matter if you sound like a broken record. She’s our mom. And I’m your brother. If you can cry to anyone, it’s me, Tara.” 

She turned to him with glossy eyes. “I can’t remember her voice, Sokka. And that scares me. I keep reading those letters like maybe I’ll remember her inflections. Her laugh maybe. But I can’t.” Sokka pulled her into a hug and clenched his jaw when he felt Katara’s sob rip through her and muffle itself into his clothes. “I don’t want her to be gone.” 

It was always worse during the time when the sun didn’t rise. Like the darkness of the South Pole sunk into everyone’s bones and the worst memories, the heaviest pain always came crashing back. Katara always ached for their mother the most during the long night. 

“She’s not,” Sokka said when Katara’s cries had softened. “Mom’s part of us. She’s part of Dad. She’s in those letters.” He pulled back and looked her in the eyes. “She’s part of  _ you.  _ More than anything, I see her the most in you. Not just with how you tend to scold me, but with the way you care. The way you care for the rest of the tribe, the way you care for Dad. It isn’t your job, but you do it anyway. You’ve got so much of her in you. She’ll never be gone.” 

Katara let out a soft laugh as she wiped her eyes. “You’ve gotten sensitive,” she said with a sniff. “Wonder why.” 

“That has nothing to do with it! Come on, you think I can’t be a good shoulder to cry on?” 

Katara rolled her eyes and patted Sokka’s face with her mitten, drying tears he hadn’t realized he’d let fall too. “I’m just trying to lighten the mood. I don’t want Dad to know, and I don’t want him to think he shouldn’t have given me the letters.” She raised an eyebrow. “So you read them, huh?” 

“Yeah,” Sokka said, immediately deciding that he wasn’t going to tell her about the way they mirrored the words he shared with Zuko. “I saw them after I wrote Zuko back. And I got curious, so I read them.” 

“They were so in love,” she said with a wistful sigh. “Have you written to General Iroh?” 

“Not yet. I will tonight. If you’re sure you’re okay with me going back earlier.” He hated the idea of leaving Katara if she was struggling more with missing Mom. 

But she nodded and nudged him playfully. “Of course I’ll be okay.” She returned to the water, bending with a little more tranquility. “What are the other royals at the palace like? Why does Zuko stay away from them?” 

Sokka furrowed his eyebrows and watched the water that Katara pulled up and twirled around her. “They don’t act like family. Princess Azula is… I don’t know. She makes me uneasy. They don’t act like siblings. And it’s not like the kind of sibling rivalry where you just get on each other’s nerves. There’s animosity in the princess’ eyes when she looks at Zuko. I don’t think there’s any love there at all. Much less from his father. The only person I’ve seen actively care for Zuko has been his uncle. Even when Zuko talks to him or about him, he sounds different. He admires him.” 

“They’re family. There has to be at least a little bit of love. Even if it’s shoved way down.” 

He thought back to the sharp way Princess Azula spoke of Zuko, belittling him behind his back. He thought of the cold, detached way Zuko spoke when he was around them, like he had to guard every emotion or else it would be used against him. He thought of the disinterested way the Fire Lord acted toward his son, the way they rarely ever even spoke or ate together. 

Compared to what Sokka had within his tribe, it made his heart ache for Zuko. He wanted to show him what it was for a person to love you unconditionally, to do anything for you. He wanted him to experience the boat rides that had the sole purpose of hearing what was in his heart. He wanted Zuko to know what it was to be comforted by his sister, or what it was to trust that he could tell her anything. The way family dinners full of laughter and overlapping conversation could make his heart feel full. 

Zuko had a kind heart, a good soul. He deserved to know what a family felt like. 

“I don’t know,” Sokka finally said. “But I really hope you’re right.” 

That night after dinner, Sokka sat down to write to the general, his hands shaking from the mere concept of getting to see Zuko soon. He also did his best to ignore his family’s knowing expressions as he wrote. 

_ General Iroh, _

_ I’d like to request my return to the palace. I want to take advantage of any time I can to attempt to teach the prince sword fighting.  _

_ Thank you, _

_ Sokka _

_ P.S. Don’t tell Prince Zuko- I’d like to surprise him when I return. _


	8. About Recognizing a Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is late. My mental health hasn't been great, but I didn't want those of your reading this to be let down because of it. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter.   
> -Phoenix

The heat clung to Sokka’s skin, but he didn’t pay it much attention. He was busy trying to calculate how much longer until the ship closed the distance keeping them from the docking port near the palace entrance. 

The city was in full swing, with people milling about. Sokka could see the vague shapes of people carrying things around, the stands, the kids running after each other. 

“Do you have something in mind to tell the Fire Lord?” Iroh asked, coming to stand beside him. 

“Somewhat,” Sokka said. He’d tried to think of something more solid, but he couldn’t focus on much more than the distance from the shore. “I don’t think the Fire Lord will care or believe me much either way.”

“Maybe. But what you say could be the difference between his decision to allow you to stay or send you away.” The thought made Sokka clench his jaw. “Come. Time will pass faster when you’re not staring at the destination.” Reluctantly, Sokka followed Iroh back to his table. He had a game of pai sho set up. “I worry about my nephew. How he might change when you go home for good.” 

“We’re friends,” Sokka said, making his first move. “I could visit him if he liked.” 

“Even with Lady Mai residing here?” 

The question made Sokka frown. Iroh seemed to know more than he let on. It suggested more than Sokka could dare consider. “I don’t see why not.” His eyes regarded him carefully. “He won’t be so lonely after marriage anyway.” 

“Loneliness isn’t cured by having someone near. Not if it isn’t the right person.” Sokka stared at him, waiting for an elaboration. “He may not be alone, but he’ll still be lonely.” That only confused Sokka further. Iroh smiled and gestured for him to take his turn. 

“You seem much closer to him than his father. You read him so easily,” Sokka noted. Iroh nodded and analyzed the board. “How did you get so close?” 

Iroh made his next move and returned his gaze to Sokka. “I think you know my answer.” 

Sokka pursed his lips. He’d have to ask Zuko. They continued to play, silent in a way that made Sokka tense. He felt like he was being watched. Like Iroh analyzed every move and it somehow gave away parts of himself, revealing everything to the former general. 

Before they could finish the game, one of the crew members called for preparations to dock. Sokka stood, abandoning the game to look. They were at the shore. If the ship wasn’t so high up, he would’ve already leapt over the side and found his own way into the palace. Thankfully, the crew was quick, and they managed to disembark and take Sokka and Iroh to the palace guards before Sokka’s patience could run out. 

They were surrounded until they got through the palace walls, and Sokka looked around the familiar space. 

"I'm sure you'll be able to find Prince Zuko," Iroh said with a complacent grin. "Be aware that you might have to appear before Fire Lord Ozai soon." 

"Yes. Thank you, Iroh." Sokka bowed quickly and walked quickly down the walkways. He caught a glimpse of the balcony to Zuko's room, but it was empty. 

He made his way to the garden with the pond instead. Sure enough, he saw Zuko sitting under the tree, staring at the pond, apparently lost in thought. He didn't have his royal robes, only the clothes he tended to wear beneath them, like he'd just returned from the city. 

"Shouldn't you be studying?" Sokka called out from the walkway. His voice made Zuko's head snap up, eyes finding him quickly. 

"Sokka!" 

Zuko stood up quickly, and Sokka laughed as he hurried to meet him halfway. He didn't think about it; he only rushed forward and suddenly found himself with armfuls of Zuko. 

They'd only hugged twice before. The first when Zuko gave him the news about going home, and it had been awkward. The second just before he boarded the ship to leave for the South Pole, which had been hesitant and uncertain. 

This hug, however…. This hug had come from longing. For a friend, for company. There was no hesitation, no thinking. Only the act of holding onto each other and laughing in disbelief, as if there was no possible way they were both there. Zuko had a scent that Sokka hadn’t realized he became familiar with, one he hadn’t realized he attributed to him. The comforting scent of soft and soothing incense, a touch of smokiness like the one that came from a hearth, then something tangy that wafted from his long hair. They were aromas Sokka hadn’t realized he’d been missing until he was enveloped in them. 

"What are you doing back? How did you-?" 

"I sent your uncle a note." Sokka pulled back and smiled, ignoring the way his heart did a jump when he looked into those sunlit, golden eyes. "Didn't want you to miss me too much." 

"Dear friend, I missed you the second you set foot on the ship to leave." Sokka froze at that, and he was painfully aware of the way his heart sped up at the admission. Then Zuko tilted his chin with warm fingers, and Sokka felt that he was mere seconds away from losing consciousness. "You have a beard now! A bit scruffy, but still."

"I- Oh! Yes, I haven’t taken time to shave it,” he said. He pulled back, keeping his hands on Zuko’s arms. “Were you in the city?” 

“No, I just returned from some training. I wanted to pass the time.” A worried crease appeared on his forehead. “I take it you didn’t receive my last letter then?” 

Sokka shook his head. “No. Why, what did it say?” 

“Nothing I can’t tell you in person. Have you eaten? We can have lunch on the balcony.” Zuko grabbed him by the forearm and pulled him along. “It’s hard to believe you’re back. How was the trip? What did your family say?” 

It was strange to see Zuko this way. He seemed younger, letting his words tumble out without the usual careful consideration and deliberateness. Meanwhile, Sokka felt like he had to run through everything twice to be sure he didn’t let something slip. 

“They understood,” he answered. “After all, my home will always be there. I’ll be able to take my place as chief when the time comes, but it isn’t now. Right now, my place is at your side.” 

Zuko turned to look at him, coming to a halt in the middle of a corridor. His eyes regarded Sokka carefully. Distantly, Sokka was aware of the tightening grip on his arm, but mostly he was distracted by the fierceness in Zuko’s eyes. “Is that a sentiment that comes from duty or from your own desire?”

The question was unfair. It called for Sokka making a choice between speaking a lie or being too transparent. But the way Zuko looked at him, the way he muddled every other sense for Sokka by simply being near made the choice simple.

“I told you in my last letter that you were the only thing tying me to this place. I’m away from everything I know, here with you. Doesn’t that prove your importance? Isn’t that answer enough to your question?” 

The flame in his eyes simmered down, turning his expression into something boyish and soft. Before he could speak, they heard a sharp voice say, “There you are.”

Zuko’s arm pulled away quickly as they both turned to the source. 

Princess Azula walked toward them from the end of the corridor, eyeing them both coldly. “The Fire Lord needs to speak to your companion, Zuzu,” she said, staring right at Sokka as she said it. “Interesting that he’s just returned when you sent for him so long ago.” 

“Uncle made other stops for me,” Zuko answered, letting his voice drop into that sharp, monotone voice again. “I’ll take Sokka to Father-” 

“He wants him  _ now.”  _

“Then let’s go now,” Sokka interjected, tired of being spoken about instead of spoken to. 

The princess looked amused as she turned to lead them. Sokka shared a look with Zuko, but they stayed silent until they reached the throne room. The way their steps echoed sent a chill down Sokka’s spine, and fierce protectiveness overwhelmed him. He had an urge to grab Zuko and run. To sate it, he opted instead to stand closer to him.

Fire Lord Ozai sat at his throne, stone-faced with the fire roaring behind him. As they stepped in front of him, his eyes turned to Sokka. Somehow, those eyes which were so similar in color to Zuko’s still managed to be drastically different in the cold, distant, hardness of their gaze. Sokka recalled that he wasn’t supposed to look the Fire Lord in the eyes and quickly ducked his head. 

“I brought you here with a purpose. For nearly two moon cycles, you’ve made no progress whatsoever. Instead, I find that you took a vacation and returned home, staying at your leisure.” 

“Father, I sent him back-” 

“Don’t you know better than to speak out of turn by now?” The Fire Lord’s voice remained calm and collected, yet he still managed to silence and overpower Zuko who bowed further in submission. Fire Lord Ozai returned his attention to Sokka. “You’ve proven to be incompetent. A waste of space and a waste of resources. I’d rather make space for a teacher who will bring results rather than one that succumbs to the whims of a spoiled prince. You will return home for good tomorrow at dawn.” 

The information managed to churn Sokka’s stomach, threatening to make him vomit on the spot. He’d just returned. He was supposed to have more time with Zuko. Anger rolled in his gut with the way he was addressed- like dirt, like garbage. If he had to leave, maybe he could at least reclaim his dignity by reminding the Fire Lord who he was, who the South was. 

“I’ll train with him,” Zuko said, standing up straight. Sokka turned to look at him, his sight somewhat blurry. “I accept Sokka as a teacher. No one else.” 

The Fire Lord narrowed his eyes, sparing Sokka a quick glance. “Why now?” 

Zuko’s jaw clenched as he raised his head. “I trust him. If you want your traditions, then let him stay.” 

Fire Lord Ozai touched his beard, staring at Zuko with a scornful look. Then he put his arms on the armrests of his chair. “Very well. Any further delays or trips to the South Pole, and you will not get another warning. You’re dismissed.” 

Sokka bowed and followed Zuko out the door, catching a glimpse of Azula’s scowl as she glared at the floor. He tried to relax his jaw from its tense state subtly, letting the anger free with every slow, long exhale. 

As soon as they’d left the throne room, Zuko turned to Sokka. “I hope I didn’t offend you.” 

“Offend me?” 

“If you wanted to go home. He said he’d send you away, and I just reacted. I didn’t stop to think that you might want to return.” 

“Zuko,” Sokka said with exasperation. “Will you get it through your head that I enjoy being with you? You’re my friend. I came back for you because I wanted to. Only now we’ll have to include some sword fighting practice.” 

“It’s alright,” Zuko said with a wave of his hand. “We don’t actually have to train. So long as my father thinks we are, it’s enough. He’ll never bother to check.” 

Sokka had a high level of patience for his friend. He’d allowed several habits and decisions to slide, maybe because of his affections, but Zuko’s pride was exhausting. Whether it was to spite his father or because he genuinely felt he didn’t need to learn anything, Sokka wasn’t sure anymore. He just knew that now that his position was permanent until the trials, his life and his tribe’s wellbeing were on the line. 

“Grab your swords and meet me in the training room,” he said. 

“What?”

“You heard me,” Sokka said, walking past him to go to the training room. 

“Is that any way to talk to a prince?” His tone was playful, but it still made Sokka freeze.

He walked back to Zuko, keeping his eyes locked on him. Zuko’s eyebrow went up, but his playful smirk remained. Sokka grinned widely as he faced him. “You’re not my prince. You’re my friend.” He leaned in closer, causing Zuko’s cool demeanor to falter. “Get your swords and meet me in the training room.” With that, Sokka turned away and walked the rest of the way to the room of statues. 

When he entered the training room, he began his warm ups and stretches, letting out all of the anxiety that had built up since he got off the ship. He was Zuko’s friend, but he also had a job he agreed to do. He couldn’t blow it off. 

Shortly after, the door opened and Zuko walked in with a broadsword in each hand. “Sokka, what’s the point of this?” 

“If you can beat me, then you’re right. I have nothing to teach you. We can spend the rest of my time here roasting food in the palm of your hands and strolling through the gardens without worrying. If I beat you, you have to let me teach you.” 

Zuko frowned, but twirled his swords in his hands and nodded. Sokka watched him carefully and nodded back. “Deal.” 

Immediately, Sokka surged forward, his sword clashing with Zuko’s parry. Both Sokka’s sword and his boomerang were practically extensions of himself. He knew how to throw a boomerang with enough force to cut through rope, knew how to aim from a rocking boat at a moving target. He knew how to remain agile and light on his feet, how to move his body so it moved with his sword while his blade maneuvered his opponent to an extent. He could strike with deadly force, but he was nowhere near using it against Zuko. 

He wasn’t hopeless. Zuko managed with his dual swords quite well. He was quick and strong, using both arms with ease. But he often made his next move obvious, his movements were too planted to benefit him, and Sokka was able to block him easily. He became sloppy quickly, his endurance slipping, clearly out of practice.

Sokka attacked to divert his block then swept Zuko’s feet and sidestepped to avoid the fall. Before Zuko could stand, Sokka kicked one sword away and stepped on the other, pointing his sword directly at Zuko’s nose. 

Zuko’s breaths came fast and heavy, his hair disheveled and his face flushed as he stared cross-eyed at the point of the sword. Sokka used the blade to tilt his chin, unable to hold back a smug smile as Zuko’s wide eyes looked up at him.

“The point of  _ this  _ is that I was brought here to teach you to swordfight. According to Azula, if you fail, I fail. In which case, your father kills me and attacks my home.” 

Zuko frowned. “N-no. Azula is a liar. They can’t do anything to you-” 

“They can, and they will. I can’t risk it, even if it’s a lie.” Sokka pulled his sword away and held out a hand to help Zuko up. “Our lessons start at dawn, my dear friend.” 

\---

The next day, Sokka and Zuko met in the gardens, and they spent the better half of the morning repeating warm ups. Zuko insisted he didn’t need to spend so long on them, but Sokka halted his complaints by knocking him off balance or sweeping his feet. 

“It’s a good thing you became my companion before you became my teacher,” Zuko said with a grunt as he repeated a warm up, balancing on the handrails of the walkway. “If this had been our first encounter I might have hated you immediately.” 

Sokka laughed and walked over to stand beside him. “It isn’t my fault you complain as much as you do.” He tsked and walked away. “You’re getting sloppy. You can’t just swing the sword and go with the momentum. You have to control it.” He stuck out his own sword, causing it to clang against Zuko’s as it came down. “ _ You  _ make the sword stop. Make it stop in the same place. With each swing.” 

“I can’t imagine I’ll be any good at practicing if my arms go numb,” Zuko said with a huff. Sokka swept his sword at Zuko’s legs, but Zuko hopped off the railing before he could be knocked off balance. 

Sokka grinned. “See, you’re learning already!” He laughed at Zuko’s exasperation and tilted his head toward the pond. “Come on, let’s go over what you struggled with yesterday.” 

He fought with Zuko, pointing out the times he left himself open, the times he could easily be knocked off balance for not having his feet set properly during an attack, the way his impatience would betray his next move. Each time Sokka disarmed him, he had Zuko repeat or change the movement until he could either keep a better grip on his sword or evade Sokka’s blade. 

Soon the sun beat down on them too harshly to continue, both red and sweaty from exertion. They sat by the pond, letting themselves cool off before splashing the water against their overheated bodies. 

“You fight like a firebender,” Sokka said. 

Zuko frowned. “I am a firebender.” 

“Exactly. Remember what I said about waterbending techniques. They’re smoother, agile, flexible. If you can make your attacks and defenses take after firebending and waterbending as needed, then you’d have an advantage.” Sokka flicked water at Zuko’s face. “Don’t look so sullen, my dear friend. You’re good. I’m just better.” 

“You are a cocky teacher,” Zuko said nudging Sokka so he toppled toward the shallow area of the pond. “Too cocky for someone who’s not balanced while they sit.” 

“I’d retaliate if this wasn’t so refreshing.” Sokka waded deeper, laying back so his head remained dry. He looked up at Zuko, crossing his eyes slightly as he took in the upside-down image. “So you never told me what the mishap at the beach was.” Zuko hummed in confusion. “In your letter. You said there was a mishap so you came back to the palace earlier.” 

“Oh.” Zuko sighed and put his hair up. “Azula and Ty Lee had an argument. I’m not sure what it was about, I just know there were insults and Ty Lee ended up crying and wanting to leave. Azula’s been particularly bitter since.” 

“Strange. And how long did Lady Mai keep you company?” 

Zuko looked at him with a small smile. “Only an extra day. We needed to talk through some things, and it’s easier to get privacy here than there. Once she was gone, well, I became very familiar with the wine cellar.” 

“Really?” Zuko grimaced and waved a hand in hopes of waving away the topic. Sokka sat up and shifted to face Zuko. “I have a question.” 

“Go on.” 

Sokka hesitated. He didn’t want to ruin the joy of being with Zuko again by bringing up heavy topics, but there was still so much Sokka didn’t understand about him. And a large part of that confusion was rooted in his family. He recalled the way Azula talked about Zuko, the way she treated him, like she was hoping to bring him down at every step. “Why does Princess Azula treat you the way she does? How is it your father raised you both and you turned out to be so different?” 

Zuko’s mouth parted in surprise, his eyes widening. He clearly hadn’t expected that to be the question on Sokka’s tongue. He looked at his hands and sighed. “Azula wasn’t always the way she is now. There was a time when she was just my little sister.” His gaze became distant, losing himself in his thoughts as he spoke. “I remember holding her hand while we walked through the castle when we were little. I remember chasing her around this very garden, racing up and down the steps. I remember her scraping her knee and crying. I used to be the only one who could calm her down, you know? When she had nightmares, she’d climb into my bed. All snot-nosed and wide-eyed.” Zuko smiled sadly. His fingers discreetly touched the seared skin around his eye, and Sokka wondered if he was aware of it. “I can’t pinpoint the precise moment it changed. It seems as though from one day to the next it was us against the world and then….” Zuko crossed his legs and hunched over. “Suddenly it was Azula against me. We’d compete for my father’s attention. She’d win every time. Her firebending skills grew and the more my father cast me aside, the closer I got to my mother. And somehow, that made our relationship as siblings worse.” 

“You’ve never mentioned your mother before,” Sokka whispered. 

“I don’t like talking about her,” he said softly. “My family history is messy and painful. The highlight is that all the struggles allowed me to get closer to my uncle. He took care of me. I was very different when I was a teenager. I made bad choices and lost my way a lot. Part of it was me acting out, but I think a bigger part of it was wanting my father to praise me for things even if I wasn’t… comfortable with my own actions. Uncle never turned his back on me, though. I think that’s why I didn’t become what Azula became. I had Uncle. All she had was our father.” Zuko clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. 

Sokka tried finding something to say, but before he could, Zuko opened his palm and a fire blazed up from it. Zuko inhaled, and the fire became smaller. He exhaled, and it grew. Until he closed his fist to extinguish it. 

“Has Katara ever hurt you?” 

The question made Sokka flinch. “Um. Sure. She likes to knock me off the boat when I bug her.” 

Zuko smiled and shook his head. “You know what I mean.” 

He cleared his throat and nodded. “We had a really bad fight once. It gets… rough when we miss our mom. When we were younger, she said something that….” Sokka grimaced and shook his head. He didn’t like to remember it. He knew Katara hadn’t meant it, that she was just hurting. But he’d been hurting too. 

“You forgave her though.” 

“Of course,” he answered immediately. 

Zuko hummed and nodded. “I’ve wanted to hate my sister. She’s a liar, she’s manipulative, she’s cruel. But I can’t forget the little girl who used to wake me up crying because she had a bad dream. The way she’d cling to me like I could protect her when I was only two years older.” He laughed, but it was an empty sound. It was hollow and sad. “Her first word was my name. Zuzu. It’s all she could say. The fact that she still calls me that- it makes me wonder….” 

“If that little girl who loved you is still there,” Sokka finished. 

Zuko’s amber eyes flickered to him, full of grief and loss. They pierced right through Sokka, pulling him to Zuko with an urge to console him. “She’s my sister. I’m her big brother. After everything, I still feel like… maybe I can help her. Maybe she wants me to. I can’t give up on her.” 

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what the right thing to say was. All Sokka could do was pull himself onto his knees to shift closer to his friend before wrapping him in an embrace. Zuko tensed for a second before he leaned into it. “I didn’t mean to upset you,” Sokka said after a moment. He pulled back, sitting down close enough so their knees still touched. “If my questions upset you, Zuko… please, just tell me.” 

“I don’t mind,” Zuko reassured. The corners of his mouth pulled up slightly, his eyes flitting down for a brief second before meeting Sokka’s eyes again. “You’re my friend. I don’t mind telling you these things. I trust you.” 

Sokka let out a disbelieving laugh before he sat close enough so their shoulders touched. He let the silence settle, basked in it even. Because this silence had Zuko’s presence. It was the kind of silence he missed. Then he turned to Zuko and said, “Let’s go to the city. I could go for some dumplings.” 

A smile spread on Zuko’s face. “An excellent idea.” He was already dressed for the city, having left his robe and hair piece so they could train. They only stopped by Zuko’s room so he could leave the dual swords and grab a pouch of coins to buy what they pleased. 

Their first stop was the dumpling cart. The man smiled when he saw Zuko. “I was wondering when I’d see you again, boy. Double the usual?” He glanced at Sokka when he asked. 

“Yes, please.” 

As they walked away, Sokka carried his basket of dumplings, blowing them gently so he could eat one. “So what should I call you when we’re out here?” he asked. “Assuming you don’t want your name tossed around.” 

“Why not Lee?” 

“As in your uncle’s hawk?” Zuko shrugged and nodded.”I suppose. Anyway, what exactly do you think will happen when you get crowned and everyone finds out who you’ve been all along?” he asked in a low whisper. 

“Well, hopefully they’ll see that I care about them. I don’t plan to hide behind the palace walls forever.” Zuko stuffed a dumpling into Sokka’s mouth when he tried to speak again. “Enough about the future, my friend. I have a pouch of coins to spend and old friends to greet. Let’s find things for your room. The walls in it are still bare, and I can’t have you suffering another bout of homesickness.” 

“Tha’ du’plin’ was hot,” Sokka said, hashing past the food in his mouth. He frowned, but followed Zuko as he led the way to a shop. 

They found their way around a variety of shops, stocking up on more tea for Iroh, getting custom paintings to hang on Sokka’s walls, finding more clothes that Sokka could use instead of reusing the same five outfits he’d been provided.

In that time, Sokka had successfully managed to make Zuko laugh enough times to lose count. He didn’t seem like a prince who lived through years of neglect and loss with the weight of a nation on his shoulders. He just seemed like a young man, careless and happy with his friend as they walked through the city. The heat, the exertion of walking, and Sokka’s endless jokes had given him a healthy flush in his cheeks that made Sokka’s heart sing.

As they walked, there saw flyers on a post in the street that caught Sokka’s attention, and he pulled Zuko along with him. “A play! I’ve always wanted to go to one!” He read the rest of the flyer. “Isn’t that where your beach house is? Ember Island?” 

“Yes,” Zuko answered. “They aren’t very good-” 

“How would I know?” Sokka pointed out. 

Zuko’s expression scrunched up into a grimace. “Just don’t expect too much.” 

“Zu- Lee, what kind of attitude is that? When you go to a play, you have to embrace it! Besides isn’t this the story about the moon and the ocean that you told me about?” He gestured at the drawings, displaying people Sokka assumed were actors dressed in bizarre and ethereal clothing.

“Yes, actually it is. How did you remember that?” 

“You told the story so horribly, it was bound to stay in my memory.” Zuko stared at him, unimpressed as Sokka laughed to himself. “Honestly, these actors couldn’t tell the story in a worse way than you did. We should go, it’ll be fun! Even if it’s horribly made, we can laugh about it.” 

Sokka looked at Zuko with wide, pleading eyes, but before he could clasp his hands together to really insist, Zuko groaned. “Okay, okay, put the polar cub eyes away! I just got you back, how can I deny you anything?” 

The words pulled the air right out of Sokka’s lungs. If Zuko had been looking at him, he might have caught the expression, might’ve caught the way Sokka’s brain froze and struggled to function again. As it was, he was focused on the poster. 

“Uncle might have to come with us so my father doesn’t think it’s just another vacation.” Zuko turned back to look at Sokka. “Let’s get back. I’m getting hungry again.” 

Sokka could only nod and fall into step beside him. 

When they got back, Zuko helped him hang up some of the paintings they got. He put away his clothes and new brushes then followed Zuko to Iroh’s room. 

They knocked on the door and waited for Iroh to answer. His expression softened at the sight of Zuko. “We brought you more tea, Uncle. And I thought you might like this pot.” Iroh thanked him and suggested they eat dinner at one of the gardens on the other side of the palace. There was a little stone table with stone benches. Iroh lit a lantern and placed it at the end of the table, asking them to fill them in on what they’d done that day. 

Surprisingly, Zuko spoke for most of it. He recounted their training session, pointedly glaring at Sokka as he mentioned the bruise that had darkened near his elbow from a fall. Then he told him about the city, mentioning what they saw in each store. Sokka only interjected to mention Zuko’s snide comments when they were looking at clothes and his strange taste in art when he mentioned all the paintings they saw. 

“Speaking of bizarre taste in art,” Zuko said before turning to focus on Iroh, “Sokka wants to see the Ember Island play. Would you be able to come with us?”

He laughed and regarded them with a knowing grin. “Of course. You do know you’ll have to continue your training there? I have to give your father weekly reports on your progress now.”

“Yes, I know,” Zuko said sullenly. “I doubt Sokka would let me skip sword fighting even at the beach.” 

“You’re correct,” Sokka said, stuffing his mouth with the noodles that they’d been served. They had a tint of spice, but it was manageable. “You’ve only practiced one day, how could you already want to skip a day?” 

“Spite.” 

Sokka laughed hard enough to snort the citrus flavored water he’d been drinking through his nose and burst into a fit of coughing. “Oh so you’re funny now?” Sokka asked once he’d recovered himself. Zuko patted his back and offered him a cloth. There was a satisfied little smile on his face that made the burning sensation now coursing up his nose entirely worth it. 

He caught the surprised, pleased expression on Iroh’s face. He watched Zuko closely and when he caught Sokka looking at him, he only smiled. Sokka wasn’t sure what it was, but something went unsaid through that smile. 

After dinner, they said goodbye to Iroh and walked to their rooms. Before they had to part down opposite sides of the corridor, Sokka stopped Zuko and regarded him carefully. “You were different today.”

“I’m happy you’re back. It’s incredible how different it feels here when you’re with me. I can’t thank you enough for willingly being at my side.” 

“You don’t need to thank me,” Sokka assured him, feeling warmth course through him, stemming from his chest. “I’m only glad I can make these walls bearable.” 

Zuko smiled, and though it seemed like there was more he wanted to say, he simply put a hand on Sokka’s arm and squeezed. “Sleep well, my dear friend. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Zuko,” Sokka whispered. Zuko turned away and Sokka walked back to his room. 

Now that the walls weren’t empty, it felt more comforting to step into it. The torches around were already lit, so Sokka walked to his desk, shaking off the sleepiness that muddled his brain. He needed to write to Katara before she worried about his silence. He set up his parchment and his ink. 

_ To the loser of the snowball battle-  _

_ (Yes, I stand by the fact that you’re the loser, especially considering the fact that you used bending.)  _

_ I arrived at the palace the day before writing this letter. It was a long day, so I didn’t take the time to write. Even now, I’m exhausted from an eventful day with Zuko, so I apologize if any part of this letter lacks eloquence.  _

_ Lessons started this morning. Zuko swore he didn’t need them, but after proving him wrong, he’s agreed to let me teach him. We spent the better part of the morning before the sun rose to its highest practicing. I think he’ll learn quickly. I also got some information about his past with his sister.  _

_ Katara, it pained me to hear him. I hate to think how different you and I might have turned out if we mirrored their relationship. He holds so much hope that his sister might have some bit of kindness because of his memories of her when they were young. As an outsider, as someone on Zuko’s side, I find it difficult to believe, but I hope it’s true- for his sake.  _

_ He’s the ruler the Fire Nation needs. He is kind and has a forgiving nature I don’t think I expected from him. He holds so much hope despite his past struggles (at least the ones I know about). Doesn’t that make for a beautiful soul? A beautiful person? Maybe I’m simply blinded by my growing affections…. _

_ In any case, I found some beads for you. I’ll need to figure out how to deliver them, seeing as a pouch weighs much more than a letter. We also made plans today to see a play. I’m excited, but we’ll need to wait some time because the Fire Lord wasn’t too happy with my extended absence. I’ll be sure to tell you all about it.  _

_ I feel I need to say one more thing, just don’t let it go to your head…. Seeing the way a brother and sister can become so estranged has made me infinitely more grateful for you. While we can drive each other to madness, I prefer it a thousand times over the distance and coldness I’ve witnessed here.  _

_ Your brother,  _

_ The One True Victor of the Snow Battle on Glacier Peak: Sokka  _


	9. About Humanity's Virtue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of your enthusiasm in the last chapter made my heart burst and brightened my week. I hope this chapter is fun for you all too! 
> 
> Happy Reading! - Phoenix
> 
> (Feel free to come talk to me on tumblr! Ive been posting zukka art and stuff there: i-write-shakespeare-not-disney )

_ To the Sorest Loser in the Entire South Pole _

_ You seem so much more willing to admit things within the confines of letters than in person. The way you speak of Zuko, I have to agree and validate your thoughts; he is a very kind soul. Spirits-willing, that kindness will extend to his reign as Fire Lord.  _

_ I hope you didn’t get into much trouble. Considering you’re still safe and writing, I assume whatever reprimand the current Fire Lord gave you wasn’t too severe. I also assume we won’t be expecting a visit from you any time soon? In which case, how do you plan to get away to see a play? Don’t get into unnecessary trouble, Sokka. Regardless, if you can go, I hope you enjoy it and I can’t wait to hear about it.  _

_ As for the princess, I can’t say I’m very fond of her after what you’ve told me about her. If I were Zuko, I’d have her locked away the second I could. But I suppose I also understand the strength of a sibling’s love, and I could never hold that against the prince. I can see where his hope stems from, and like you, I hope he is right. Just be careful around her.  _

_ I hope lessons prove fruitful and that Zuko learns well and quickly.  _

_ The day after you left, a letter arrived for you. I’ve rolled mine up around it to return it to you. It’s unopened, as you can see by the seal. I didn’t want to send it back until I knew you were back in the palace.  _

_ With all my love, _

_ The Rightful Victor of the Snow Battle on Glacier Peak: Katara _

Sokka rolled his eyes and laughed as he tucked the letter away into his pocket. He looked at the other roll with the Fire Nation seal on it. 

He broke the seal and rolled it open. Zuko’s usual elegant script looked messier, the brush strokes shaky or too hard. 

_ My dearest, Sokka. My dearest my dearest my dear- _

“Is that one of my letters?” Zuko asked, his voice tight. 

Sokka looked up at him and nodded. “Katara sent it back with hers. It arrived after I left-” 

“Could I have that back?” Sokka’s eyes widened as he looked from Zuko’s measured expression to his outstretched hand. “Please.” 

“I haven’t even read it yet-”

“Sokka-” Zuko paused and took a breath. When he opened his eyes again, he didn’t look as collected. He looked… afraid. “I wrote that letter in a fragile state. I don’t want you to read it. I should have never sent it, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. I beg you, if I am your friend, don’t read it.” 

His pleading only heightened Sokka’s curiosity. Now he wanted to know what the letter said more than ever. What could he have possibly said within it to elicit such a panicked response? 

The expression on Zuko’s face pained him more, though. He didn’t want to cause Zuko any distress. 

Slowly, he placed the letter in Zuko’s hand. A relieved sigh escaped his mouth with a wisp of smoke. “Thank you,” he said. 

“You said there was nothing in that letter that you couldn’t tell me in person,” Sokka reminded him. 

A scarlet color spread on the apples of Zuko’s cheeks. He fixed his robes with a nervous tug. “There isn’t. What’s lacking is courage.” Sokka furrowed his eyebrows. “I’ll concede with this- I won’t throw it away or burn it. I’ll return this to you eventually. For now… forget its existence. For my sake.” 

It was as though Zuko knew there was nothing Sokka wouldn’t do for him. He wanted the letter. He wanted to read it to know what Zuko’s clouded mind might have relayed. Part of him held hopes. Like maybe something in the letter reflected the affection he felt for him too. Though it could be incoherent rambling that embarrassed his friend simply because it was un-princely to do so. 

It seemed naive to hope. Maybe it was better to do as Zuko suggested and simply forget. 

“I can’t seem to remember what we were talking about,” Sokka said with a wink. Zuko smiled at him and tucked the letter away in the folds of his robes. “When do we leave for the island?” 

“We leave tonight. We’ll arrive shortly before dawn. I saw an announcement that there’s going to be a festival in a few days. We should go- there’s going to be fireworks.” 

“Fireworks? Firebenders?” Sokka asked. 

“You’ve never seen fireworks?” Sokka shook his head. “They’re… well, they’re explosions of light but they have different colors and sometimes different shapes. They’re made with the powders used in canons and some other things. There’s lanterns and sparklers and amazing food. Everyone wears masks and some people wear full costumes. There’s firebending shows too.” Zuko’s words came faster, more enthusiastic the more he spoke. It made Sokka smile. “It’s my favorite festival. My mother used to take us. Even Azula enjoyed it, even though she pretended to be indifferent.” 

“What are the masks for?” 

“They don’t have to be full masks. Some only wear half a mask, covering different portions of their face. It’s just part of the tradition. I have several from past years when I went with Uncle. Would you like to choose one?” 

Sokka nodded and followed Zuko to his room. He opened the door to his wardrobe where several masks hung. Some looked like they were for a child, but others looked to be a good size for Sokka. He was drawn to one that resembled the warrior wolf helmets from home. He grabbed it and put it on to see if it would be a good fit. 

The mask covered the top half of his face, with lines engraved in it to resemble fur. The snout stuck out just enough to follow the curve of his nose. Two pointy ears stuck out from the top. He looked at Zuko and smiled. “How does this one look?” 

“It’s fitting, considering your wolf-tail,” he answered with a smile. “Take it.” 

Sokka untied it and held it carefully. “I’ll put it with my things. What did your uncle say so your father would let us leave?” 

Zuko laughed airily and sat on one of the chairs. “He told my father that the beach house would provide a better space to practice sword fighting. That the open air would do us well for training. Honestly, I think the idea of having me away was appealing enough.” His hand came up to his scar for a brief second, enough that it could pass for him pushing away runaway strands of hair. “I’m going to wash up before dinner. We’ll probably leave right after.” 

“Okay. I’ll wait for you in the garden.” Sokka offered a mock bow before leaving the room. 

He went to the garden and laid down where he had a clear view of the sky, watching it change colors as the sun began to set. His mind drifted to the unread letter, and despite how often he tried to get his mind off of it, he couldn’t. 

_ My dearest, Sokka. My dearest my dearest my dear- _

Had he been mocking Sokka’s last greeting? Had he been distracted by the sound of the word in his stupor until he had to write it out various times? He would know eventually, but the mystery continued to torment him. He decided to spend his time pantomiming sword attacks, trying to incorporate water and fire movements for future lessons. 

Eventually, he heard Zuko call out, “Don’t you ever tire of practicing?” 

He turned to face him, struck by the image of Zuko with his long, wet hair. Strands stuck to his face as they were moved by the breeze, the ends still dripped and darkened his clothes. 

“It keeps me busy,” Sokka finally responded. As Zuko moved to stand in front of him, Sokka noticed that the sweet-tangy scent that usually permeated his hair was stronger. Sweeter. “Dinner?” 

Dinner passed in a blur, with Sokka’s brain struggling to maintain his composure while being in such close proximity to his freshly showered friend. Thankfully, Iroh had no problem filling the silences with his own conversation. They loaded their things and boarded a smaller ship to leave the palace. A handful of guards doubled as the crew. 

“We’ll arrive before dawn. If you sleep now, we may be there by the time you wake. Just in time to settle in before the play in the evening,” Zuko said.

“I think I’ll stay out here for a bit. I’m feeling a bit restless,” Sokka said. 

“Would you like some company?” Zuko asked. “Maybe a sparring session to tire you out? After all, this isn’t a vacation.” 

Iroh laughed heartily behind Zuko as he shook his head. “Goodnight, gentlemen. I’m off to bed.” 

They both bid him goodnight and Zuko turned back to Sokka, waiting on his response. “I always enjoy your company. If you aren’t too tired.” A smile spread on Zuko’s lips subtly, his eyes darting downward before returning to look at Sokka. They leaned against the railing of the ship, watching the way the water rushed beneath them. 

The silence didn’t feel like something wedged between them; it felt like it surrounded them, putting them both in the same quiet space together. He could drown out the crew’s chatter with the waves, and Zuko’s presence beside him softened the sharpness of the silence. 

“How long will we get to stay on Ember Island?” 

“As long as we’d like, I imagine. So long as Uncle provides reports to my father about my training, there’s no reason to rush back.” 

“Can I ask you something? It’s not- I don’t want to upset you, but I’m curious and a bit confused.” Zuko frowned but then composed his expression and nodded. “You’re father seems… cold toward you. But he still insists on having you succeed him as Fire Lord.”

“He’s very devoted to traditions. To the idea of a first-born, male successor. I believe it’s why he forgave my…” Zuko sighed, “... disobedience. But it doesn’t mean he holds any affections for me as his son.” 

“Traditions…. Isn’t your uncle older? Shouldn’t he be the Fire Lord?” 

Zuko’s eyes scanned the passing crew, but they seemed indifferent to them. “Uncle was going to be. But there was a war around the time he became of age for his coronation. He went into the military instead of taking the crown, expecting to come back to it after his service, defending the status of the royal family against the rest of the world. Eventually it dwindled into a civil war within the Fire Nation with a lot of hate for my bloodline. It was a horrible war. My family did horrible things. Uncle realized how wrong it was, how our family had turned its back on our people. He wanted to change the way things happened and end the war by accepting defeat. They called him a coward for it. He wasn’t deemed worthy of the crown, and it was passed on to my father.” Zuko clenched his fist. “The first thing he did was lead a massacre, ending the war in what my grandfather thought was a more honorable way.” Zuko pressed his fingers to his head, but his ring finger dropped lower, touching his scorched eye discreetly. “Hence… restoring my honor and whatnot.”

“Through trials and marriage.” The reminder of Zuko’s loveless engagement to Lady Mai settled heavily between them. Though Sokka supposed it wasn’t entirely loveless. Zuko clearly cared for Lady Mai deeply, even if not romantically. “Do you think you could love her in time? After you get married?” 

The question startled Zuko enough to make him lower his hand and turn to face Sokka. His eyes had widened, his cheeks colored. Before Sokka could revoke his question, Zuko responded with his gaze on the floor. 

“Mai is a childhood friend. I do love her. But if it were up to me I wouldn’t  _ marry  _ her. Though if I had to marry anyone, I suppose I’m happy it’s her. As for after marriage…. I don’t know. I’d hate to have to learn to love her in the way she deserves. It’d be so much better if I could just… give that to her freely. But I don’t think I’d be bitter about it. I’d never hold this against her.” 

The way his voice softened when he talked about her twisted Sokka’s insides. Memories of Zuko kissing her flashed behind the darkness of his eyelids, and suddenly Sokka didn’t trust his voice very much. Briefly, he wondered if they would invite him to the wedding… if he would have the strength to go. His feelings for Zuko were strong, only getting magnified the longer they were together, and Sokka feared what that meant for the day he left. 

“You have a kind soul, my friend,” Sokka finally said softly. “We should rest. Tomorrow will be very busy, starting with early practice.” Zuko stuttered for a moment, but Sokka didn’t let him sort out his words. He smiled and briefly touched his shoulder with a soft, “Goodnight, dear friend. Sleep well,” before walking past him and finding his way to the cabin where he’d left his things. 

He let his exhaustion push away those unfair, bitter emotions. He reminded himself that it wasn’t Zuko or Lady Mai’s fault. That Zuko didn’t even know about his affections, so he couldn’t know how much it pained him to hear about the woman he would marry in less than a year. He couldn’t give his heart to someone who couldn’t take it. He shouldn’t give his heart to someone who couldn’t take it. 

\--

A crew member woke him the next morning. They got off the ship and Sokka’s eyes widened at the sight of the beach house. It was a large wooden house with elevated sections, presumably for both an even floor and to keep safe from the rising tide. It was so different from the shore in the South Pole. The sand darkened with the water that lapped gently against it. The house itself was spacy and light. The rising sun filtered light through the open windows, casting a gentle glow on everything it touched. 

Iroh led him to his room where he could put his things and they sat for tea on the porch, overlooking the sea. Afterwards, Zuko and Sokka went outside, staying in the shade the house casted. They sparred and practiced until the sun beat down on them from above. By then, Iroh had made lunch and provided them their tickets for the evening performance of the play. They had just enough time for Sokka to wash up and change after eating. 

“Enjoy the performance, you two,” Iroh said with a smile, waving at them as they left. 

Sokka waved back and practically tugged Zuko by the arm so he’d walk faster. Zuko indulged him, laughing as he tried to lead Sokka despite trailing behind him until they reached the theatre.

They took their seat on a balcony. Idle chatter filled the theatre with the soft glow of firelight casting shadows along the walls. Zuko put his hood down and laughed softly as Sokka leaned over the railing, trying to take in every detail. 

Someone walked onto the stage. She spread her arms out, extinguishing the fire in a second, rendering the crowd silent. The next moment, a blast of fire soared above, igniting the spotlight. Sokka let out a soft breath of wonder. 

“Welcome, everyone! Before our play begins, we ask that you all remain courteous throughout the performances. There are exits at the back, and should you need to leave the theatre, please do so quietly to avoid interrupting. Anyone causing distractions will get one warning before being asked to leave. We hope you all enjoy the performance!” Polite applause filled the theatre, and Sokka noticed Zuko watching with his cheek against his fist. He looked bored, but when he caught Sokka looking, he smiled and sat up. 

Actors came on stage, painted dramatically with extravagant robes and headpieces. Their voices were too loud, their inflections too fake, but Sokka overlooked it in favor of the story. He leaned against the railing, letting himself get entirely engrossed. 

A beautiful woman with silver hair portrayed the Moon. A man painted in different shades of blue swirls and strips of airy fabric that swayed with the wind represented the Sea. The rest of the actors were mortals. Somewhere, there were musicians adding music to certain moments, drawing Sokka in further. The music swelled, tensed, and sped up with the events of the story. 

Sokka frowned as he watched the Sea and Moon reach for each other without being able to touch. He recalled Zuko saying that they were lovers, desperately attempting to reach each other every night, but he wasn’t sure why they couldn’t be together. 

He tugged Zuko’s sleeve and leaned in to whisper, “What’s the Sea guy doing?” 

Zuko leaned in, gesturing as he spoke softly. “His dance is supposed to symbolize the waves. The way the tide rises when the Moon appears. It’s his attempt to reach her against the Sky’s wishes.” 

“What happens if they touch?” 

“Watch.” 

Sokka frowned as he watched the Moon and the Sea reach for each other, the music swelling before it became hectic, frantic, demanding. The other actors- the mortals- let out dramatic screams as the set around them collapsed. The couple shared a look of agony as distance came between them again. 

“They’ll never be together, will they?” Sokka asked sadly. The music softened as the mortals brought everything back into order. 

“It’s just a story, Sokka,” Zuko said gently. Sokka frowned and turned to face him, but his expression held worry rather than indifference. 

He supposed there was strength within the mortals, who were shown to find their own lovers, shown as strong and resilient as they dealt with the destruction that came from the immortals. They recreated their lives. The Moon and the Sea sacrificed their own happiness for the sake of humanity. It gave Sokka the sense that he needed to live his life to the fullest to make up for it. 

It ended the way it began- with the Sea reaching for the Moon and the mortals oblivious to their longing. Everyone applauded the performance, but Sokka couldn’t shake the melancholic feeling in the pit of his chest after seeing the story unfold. 

As they walked back to the beach house, Zuko broke the silence. “You seem distraught, dear friend.” 

“I just expected a happy ending,” he answered. “I know it isn’t real, but it still makes me feel… hopeless. I think hopeless is the word for it.I don’t even understand why they couldn’t be together. What kept them apart? Why did everything turn hectic when they got close?” 

“Uncle may be more helpful in explaining,” Zuko said with an amused, sympathetic smile. 

They continued walking while Sokka mulled over the play in his head. Though the dialogue was dramatic and overdone, the music had helped him immerse himself into the world. The movement had captivated him. 

When they arrived, Iroh was busy painting a series of new tiles. He smiled when they came in. “How did you enjoy the play?” 

“Well… Sokka has some questions.” 

Iroh raised an eyebrow and gestured for them to sit. With a nod from Zuko, Sokka relayed all of his questions and frustrations with the play. When he was done, Iroh laughed under his breath and set down the tile he had in his hand. 

“You were more focused on the Moon and the Sea. But there were more stories being told. Another perspective within it.” He went on to explain the original myth where the Sky demanded that the Moon stay among the stars, forever chased by the Sun. “If the Sea and the Moon ever embraced, it would bring great destruction to the world. As the play shows, when they got close to touching, it created mayhem. Tsunamis made from the Sea’s desperate attempts ravaged the village. It’s a constant cycle of the two lovers trying to reach each other only to stop for the sake of the world and those who live in it.” 

“And what do they care about the mortals?” Sokka asked. “If they love each other so much, what does it matter if everything else gets destroyed?” 

“Think, Sokka. What other stories were on the stage when you watched? Outside of the Moon and the Sea?” 

Sokka looked at the table as he thought back. “The mortals, the humans- they had to rebuild their lives. They found their own joy. They had their own stories.”

Iroh grinned. “We mortals fascinated the immortals. We persevere. We adapt. The Moon and Sea have forever to be together. We only have a limited time. Mortals get to be reckless and chase things that bring them happiness. The way we love takes after the Sea and the Moon. After all, how strong must their love be if they never stop trying to reach each other? In spite of every force keeping them apart, they never give up. Much like mortals. That is why they show us mercy by sacrificing their own joy.” 

“So…. The play wasn’t about the heartbreak of the Moon and the Sea never being able to be together,” Zuko said. “It’s about what their sacrifice does for the mortals, and a celebration of our strength despite mortality.” 

Iroh nodded. “In some ways, it can even be a reminder to make the best of your life. To invite a love as unwavering as theirs, to continue in the face of everything working against you.” 

Sokka and Zuko remained quiet, letting the new perspective sink in. The melancholy lifted and morphed into hope. Into something that left him feeling restless. 

Maybe Iroh could tell because he let out an amused laugh and stood. “Do you cook, Sokka?” 

“Yes. Back home I help my family and sometimes we alternate who makes dinner.” 

“Excellent. Why don’t you come help me with this stew?” 

Sokka stood to follow with Zuko close behind. Iroh put Sokka to chop some vegetables while he skimmed the wooden cabinets for spices. Zuko sat to watch as Sokka brought the knife down quickly.

“You don’t cook?” 

“I burn everything,” Zuko said with a flat voice. “But I can make phenomenal tea. It even meets Uncle’s standards.” 

“Yes you’ve come a long way from your hot tea leaf water, nephew,” Iroh said with a smile. Zuko smiled proudly, and Sokka felt a strange jolt in his chest at the sight of such a genuine expression. “Sokka are you nearly done?” 

Sokka nodded and handed the cutting board over. He stood off to one side, watching Iroh cook from over his shoulder while Zuko moved to his other side to watch as well. He worked quickly, humming under his breath as he prepared the stew, adding spices at strange intervals of time as well as the vegetables and meat. 

The scent that filled the house made Sokka’s mouth water. Concentrated, savory, spicy. 

“Maybe you could make us a traditional Southern Water Tribe dish during our stay here, Sokka,” Iroh said, smiling as Sokka leaned toward the smell. “And maybe we could finally get Prince Zuko to make something without burning it.” 

Sokka heard Zuko huff and looked over to see a slight pout on his face along with a rosy hue on his cheeks. He bit back a laugh and nodded. “Sure! My favorite is my Gran’s two-headed fish soup. She makes it better than me, but I can get close. It’s better than Katara’s, but she doesn’t like to admit it.” He looked between Iroh and Zuko for a moment before tilting his head. “Can I ask something?” 

The corners of Zuko’s mouth pulled up slightly. “You always ask that. Why don’t you just ask your question?”

“Well, I just- I’m not sure,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just… you don’t ask me to call you Prince Zuko, but… well, Iroh you still call him by his title. I was just wondering why.” 

Zuko shrugged. “I’ve told him he doesn’t need to use it, but he does anyway.”

Iroh only smiled. “Has my nephew told you about our traveling years, Sokka?” 

“No, no he hasn’t.” 

“Uncle-”

“Come. I have a way to pass the time while we wait for the food to be ready.” He walked away, ignoring Zuko as he continuously asked what he was doing. The two of them followed until Iroh told them to sit while he grabbed something from his room. He came back, and the blood drained from Zuko’s face as he groaned. “These are all from our time away from the palace.” 

“ _ Uncle,”  _ Zuko said with a tight voice. 

Iroh handed over a booklet with several parchments glued to it. All of them had sketches of Zuko and Iroh. Some sketched a semblance of a background, others only sketched them alone. They were excellent renditions, with minute details made by each brush stroke. Zuko had his scar in all of them, though he looked so much younger. 

“How old were you in this one?” he asked, pointing at a sketch where Zuko was mostly bald with only a ponytail. 

Zuko’s pained expression had Sokka biting back laughter. “I was sixteen,” he answered. 

“Where did you guys go?” 

“Everywhere. We visited the villages of the Earth Kingdom, the visitor’s headquarters at the Air Nomad Temples, we even went to the Northern Water Tribe for some time. Though it wasn’t very suitable.” Iroh flipped through the sketches, pointing at some where they were drawn with other people. “That was Princess Yue. She was very kind.” He flipped to another where Zuko had shorter hair and stood beside a small girl with her hair in her face. “That’s Toph. Lady Toph, but she hated being called that.” 

“Strongest earthbender we’ve ever met,” Zuko said. “Very blunt for her age. I wonder how she is.” 

The memories must have drawn him in, because Zuko scooted closer, leaving Sokka to be sandwiched between them with the booklet in his lap. Sokka was certain they’d never sat in such close proximity to each other before. 

Zuko reached over to point, and Sokka found himself holding his breath. He was acutely aware of Zuko’s knee pressing closer in the process, and while knees knocked together all the time, Sokka was simply too flustered to think properly. 

“Oh, the Kyoshi Warriors. Do you think they’ve gotten more members?”

Sokka forced himself to focus on the drawings. “What did you travel to these places for?” 

Again, Iroh stayed quiet. Though this time, Zuko responded. “I needed to find balance within myself. I was a turbulent adolescent. I told you I used to have a temper, didn’t I?” Golden eyes flickered toward Sokka, and Sokka felt his response catch in his throat. Zuko must have noticed because he looked away quickly and scooted away. His hair fell, blocking his face. “I’ll check on the stew.” 

He left, leaving Sokka feeling embarrassed. Meanwhile, Iroh pointed at another drawing where they were surrounded by monks. Sokka had only ever read about the Air Nomads and their arrow tattoos. 

“Was he really such a handful when he was younger?” 

“At that age, all children can be a handful. It’s part of growing up. There are struggles and changes within yourself as well as the world around you. Prince Zuko had that multiplied. He only needed to remember who he is at his core. His values. Who he could become.” Iroh looked at Sokka with a raised bushy eyebrow. “Were you a well behaved teenager, Sokka?” 

He thought back to his younger self. How often he argued with Katara, how reckless he could be because he would get ahead of himself. “I wasn’t perfect, but I’ve grown since.” 

Iroh nodded. “As expected.” 

At that moment, Zuko returned, but he sat to Iroh’s left instead. Sokka tried to brush it off. “How was the stew?” he asked in a light voice. 

“Nearly ready,” Zuko said. 

“Well then- why don’t we set up to eat? Plenty of time to look at more memories later.” Iroh stood up, leaving Zuko and Sokka sitting in awkward silence. 

A fact that left Sokka with an ache in his chest because silences with Zuko were never awkward. When Sokka mustered up the courage to look over at him, he noticed Zuko’s hand was at his scar. 

He furrowed his eyebrows and asked, “Does it hurt?” Zuko hummed in question. “Your scar.” 

Zuko’s hand fell into his lap as his cheeks reddened. “No, it doesn’t. It hasn’t for a long time.” Before Sokka could respond, Zuko stood. “We should help Uncle. I think you’ll like the stew.” 

The rest of the night carried a heavy weight left behind from that conversation. Sokka wondered if he’d been too transparent somehow, if maybe Zuko had begun to notice something. While Iroh eased the tension some with his own comments on the soup and small anecdotes about kitchen mishaps, Sokka was too wrapped up in his own head. He could barely bring himself to look Zuko in the eyes. 

By the time dinner was over, Sokka’s mind had gone in endless circles. He sat to write out the events of the play and every detail he could remember from music to movement to costume, as he’d promised to do. Then he began a separate letter. 

_ To the Mightiest Waterbender- _

_ I’ve enclosed a recounting of the play we saw today. We just got to the island, and Zuko says we’ll get to stay for a while, thanks to his uncle’s presence. Although I’m not sure how long that will be.  _

_ I’m worried he’s picked up on my affections. There was a moment today- a moment he’d been too close, too overwhelming. Maybe my expression gave it away. He seemed to notice something and he became distant. Maybe he thought of Lady Mai. Though he isn't in love with her, he cares for her greatly and she is still his betrothed after all. It's taking everything in me not to react irrationally to the thought.  _

_ There also seems to be much more that he keeps to himself. He’s explained some things, but not all of it. I didn’t think I needed more explanations, but after seeing some sketches of him in his younger years while he travelled with Iroh, I’ve realized I’d like to know everything about him. I want to know his youth, his hopes, his aspirations, his fears. I want to know who used to be, who he wants to be. I want to know why he keeps so much hidden. He says he trusts me, but there’s still so much information he hasn’t offered. I only get vague answers from both Zuko and his uncle.  _

_ Because of it, I wonder if that level of disclosure is something he’d ever want. Maybe he still doesn’t trust me. In which case, I’m not sure I really know our current bond. Romantic affections aside, he is my friend, and I care for him as a friend first and foremost. Have I gotten ahead of myself? Maybe he only sees me as temporary, and because of it, he doesn’t want to bother with further explanations.  _

_ I don’t know what to think, Katara. Something shifted today, and I’m not entirely sure what it was or why it had to cause the tension it caused. Not to mention he didn't let me read the letter you had to send back to me. I only read the greeting before he begged me to return it to him. Maybe I should simply leave it up to him whether he wants me to know things. Whether he wants me to know him.  _

_ In any case, I hope everyone is doing well. I wish you could see the way the sunsets looked from here. Give Gran and Dad a hug for me. I hope you enjoy my retelling of the play- I included Iroh’s explanations in case it leaves you as frustrated as it left me.  _

_ Sincerely,  _

_ Sokka the Fragile Hearted  _


	10. About Embracing Recklessness Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! Don't forget that if you wanna say hi, you can find me on tumblr @i-write-shakespeare-not-disney And I added the spotify playlist for this fic in a link at the beginning of the chapter. I hope you all enjoy reading this I think it's one of my favorite chapters.   
> Funny thing is, I originally planned for this fic to be 10 chapters.... ha. hahaha. 
> 
> Anyway, happy reading! ~Phoenix

** [Teaching a Heart Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7DcWjoZvEwMo2C2aqkLQsA?si=4XGHS5l6SKqbPtVKMgHhTQ) **

_ I can’t even fathom a greeting that could encompass the level of density in your last letter, Sokka.  _

_ I understand wanting to know his past, but with the way his family is with him, I imagine it’s painful. It’s the person he is now that you befriended. It’s who he is now that you’ve grown fond for. Are you really so wrapped up in yourself that you can’t see what seems to be happening?  _

_ Maybe it isn’t so much that he’s caught on to your emotions, but rather he’s fighting his own. As someone betrothed, with a duty to someone else, he may be keeping his distance for his own sake. What other reason might he have for not letting you read a letter he sent you himself? Take a step back from yourself, Sokka. There are many reasons he may not want to disclose his past. Reasons that may have nothing to do with you.  _

_ Don’t forget that while the prince puts up a facade with his family, with his own city, he puts it away with you. Isn’t that what you’ve told me in past letters? Doesn’t that speak more to his view of you than a single tense moment of uncertainty?  _

_ Your rendition of the play was lovely. You’ve always had a way with storytelling. I see Iroh’s point about the other stories, but it doesn’t quite take away the pain of seeing two lovers kept from each other, does it?  _

_ Enjoy your time on the island. Your choices should be guided by your friendship with him before they are guided by your affections for him. Let things come naturally. Be part of his present.  _

_ I wouldn’t be at peace with myself if I didn’t worry about you. As fascinating as it is to see your infatuation take hold, I’m afraid for you. For what will come. I don’t mean to hurt you, you know that. But the last thing I want is to see your heart break because the prince is meant to wed someone else. Even if I’m right and he feels something for you too, he can’t indulge it. Take care of your heart, Sokka.  _

_ Regardless of sense and logic, I hope you don’t feel like you can’t tell me more things in the future. You know I would never hold it against you. It’s just, as your sister, I would’ve hated myself if I didn’t at least warn you. We send our love and hugs. I’ll be telling the kids about the play on your behalf. Please give Zuko and Iroh my regards. _

_ With love, _

_ Your sister _

“Fighting his own,” Sokka repeated under his breath. It seemed unlikely. It seemed like a naive hope. Still, he wanted to believe it with all of his being. 

Then he read the last two paragraphs again. They left a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach, left the reverberations of melancholy to seep into his bones. There was no future for them even if Zuko felt something like Katara thought. They were on opposite paths- paths that were never supposed to cross to begin with. 

“Is everyone back home okay?” 

Sokka gripped the letter and looked up at Zuko who stood in the doorway, freshly bathed after their sparring session that morning. “Yes. Katara liked hearing about the play. She sends her regards.” 

One corner of Zuko’s mouth pulled up slightly. “Well, lunch is ready.” 

He turned away, but Sokka couldn’t help himself from calling after him. Zuko turned back to look at Sokka in confusion, and Sokka put the letter aside to walk toward him. Over the course of the last few days, Sokka noticed a strange trend in Zuko’s demeanor. At times he was playful and carefree, caught up in something he was saying or in Sokka’s own antics. Then suddenly, he’d turn frigid, pulling away from Sokka to fold into himself. If the moment allowed it, he’d even excuse himself. 

It didn't make sense for it to be reciprocated feelings. Maybe he was angry or hurt or maybe Sokka unknowingly managed to do or say something that bothered him. He hated not knowing, and he wanted to know what it was so he could fix it. 

“Have I done something to offend you, dear friend?” Sokka ran his hand through his own loose hair nervously as his outburst made Zuko stare at him in surprise. Anxious to explain himself, Sokka elaborated. “I worry I might have done something to make you uncomfortable or something that upset you. It just feels like… you become distant at times and I can't seem to figure out why.” 

Before Zuko even moved, Sokka knew he would put his hand to his eye, passing it off as a moment to push his hair out of his face. “No you haven’t done anything wrong, my friend. If you did, I would tell you. I’m sorry if I’ve been distant or cold.” He frowned at the ground, rubbing the side of his face where his hairline skewed because of his burn. “I think this house and its memories… the memories of my travels with Uncle…. It all just feels like a lot. It keeps my head busy and I…." 

"I'm sorry I asked you to come back here." 

He smiled softly and shook his head. "It isn’t your fault, I promise.” 

Sokka stared at him, trying to meet his eyes, but Zuko had already turned his body like he wanted to walk away. He reached out, gently grabbing Zuko’s arm and turning him so they could face each other. 

“Promise me we’re okay?” 

The way Zuko ducked his head to one side, like he wanted to hide, gave it away. The truth. The reason he’d been acting so strange. 

His scar. He seemed to be trying desperately to keep Sokka from looking at it. Though Sokka had no idea why, considering the only time he’d reacted to it had been when they first met. 

“Zuko-” 

“We’re fine.” Zuko looked at him and smiled. “Oh, my dearest friend. Don’t look so distressed. I mean it.” 

With that, he pulled free and walked away. Sokka frowned, letting out a frustrated huff, but he let the matter rest for the time being. He joined Iroh and Zuko for lunch, letting the silence encase them. Iroh kept his attention on his food, occasionally glancing at the two of them, as if he could perceive the tension. Knowing him, that was more than likely the case. 

Between the soft clattering of silverware, Sokka often found his gaze drifting to Zuko. If he looked up at the right moment, he’d catch Zuko’s eyes on him too. Though most times Zuko averted his gaze the second their eyes locked. 

“Are you both excited for the Lovers’ Festival?” Iroh asked offhandedly. 

“The  _ what?”  _ Sokka repeated in surprise. Was it some sort of romantic thing? Was it a festival meant for lovers? How had he not known the name of it before?

“Well, it’s in honor of the Moon and the Sea,” Iroh said, holding back a smile. “It’s called the Lovers’ Festival in their honor.”

“Oh. I wasn’t aware,” Sokka answered sheepishly. “I’ve only ever been to the festivals we hold in the South for the spirits. It’s rather small considering the size of my tribe. Though we do end up having a communal banquet of food. That’s always my favorite part.” 

A soft, gentle laugh came from Zuko. “There’s plenty of food at the Lovers’ Festival. It’s also much more crowded. I think you’ll enjoy it. I can let you borrow some robes too, if you’d like.” Sokka nodded. “We’ll look at them after we eat.” 

“Personally, I’m quite fond of the musicians,” Iroh said. “Do you like music, Sokka?” 

“Yes, though music in my tribe is different from the music here. At the play, I saw instruments I’d never seen before. The singing is different too, but it’s really nice. If the music will be anything like it was at the play, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.” 

“Well, when you’re finished, come to my room.” Zuko stood and thanked his uncle for the meal before excusing himself.

As soon as Zuko was out of hearing range, Iroh turned to Sokka and furrowed his bushy eyebrows worriedly. “You seem sullen, Sokka. Is everything alright?” 

He turned to face Iroh, originally planning on brushing everything off. But that round face and his kind eyes made it feel impossible to lie to him. Sokka let his shoulders fall. “I don’t know. I think so? But I feel like something isn’t right with Zuko, and I’m not sure if I did something to make him feel self-conscious or if maybe it’s all in my head, but either way I have no idea how to fix it. I asked him, and he says everything’s fine, but I can tell it isn’t. It  _ feels  _ like it isn’t.” 

His expression softened into a gentle smile. His eyes crinkled, and he shook his head, looking amused at the response. “Don’t overthink things, Sokka. The Lovers’ Festival has always been Prince Zuko’s favorite, and I have no doubt that his mood will improve. My nephew has a tendency of getting caught up in his head. Don’t worry so much about what all is going on inside his head; just help him get out of those thoughts. To do so, first you have to get out of your own head.” 

Sokka sighed and frowned at his empty plate. “You know, I think you and my sister would get along really well, Iroh.” 

Iroh laughed heartily, his smile lighting up his whole face until Sokka found himself smiling too. “She must be a very smart and wise person.” 

“Ah, on occasion,” he answered, knowing that Katara would hit him with a water whip on his rear if she were there. “I’ll try to keep that in mind. Thank you for the food. It was delicious.” Iroh nodded as Sokka stood to put his plate away. 

He went to Zuko’s room and stood outside the door. He had to stay out of his own head to pull Zuko of his. He let out a breath and knocked. Zuko’s voice resonated from inside, inviting him in. Sokka slid the screen door to find a heap of clothes tossed onto the sleeping mat. 

“Have your pick, my friend,” Zuko said, gesturing with his hand. I personally think the silver one would go with your mask the best, but this softer blue is fitting too. Of course, the maroon might contrast the mask more dramatically.” 

“By my understanding, you’re saying I’d look fantastic in anything I chose,” Sokka said with a playful, cocky grin. Zuko only rolled his eyes and smiled fondly. “Which do you think I should wear?” 

Zuko’s mouth opened then closed again. He pushed his hair out of his face then pulled it back to fall over his left side as he turned away. Sokka bit his tongue, but remembered not to let it get to him. He just needed to coax Zuko back out. 

When he turned back to Sokka, he had a robe in his hands. It was a deep, saturated blue with silver swirls that glistened in the sunlight that streamed into the room. The sash around the middle hung loosely in the nicest silver satin Sokka had ever seen. He let out a soft breath as he took the robe from Zuko’s hands. 

“Try it on, see if it’s a good length,” Zuko suggested. 

Immediately, Sokka tugged it on, fascinated with how soft, how light it felt against his skin. “Well, what do you think? How far down are they supposed to go?” 

Zuko’s gaze slowly fell downward, before flickering back up to meet Sokka’s eyes. “Perfect length,” he said. “Fit for a prince.” 

“Well, I suppose I’m as close to a prince as anything back home, so… that’s good,” Sokka said. He had half a mind to reach forward and push Zuko’s hair behind his shoulder, but he didn’t want to test his boundaries. “When does the festival start?” 

“At sunset. Not too long from now. Do you mind if I take a few moments for myself? The festival gets so crowded and busy, I usually have to prepare myself mentally for it all to enjoy it properly.” 

“Oh. Of course. I’ll be… well, I’ll be around.” Sokka forced himself not to wince at his own pathetic response as he left the room. The screen shut softly behind him, and Sokka felt like kicking himself. 

To get rid of all the anxious energy, he began to walk through the house, familiarizing himself with the areas he hadn’t gotten a chance to explore. There was a larger room behind a tattered screen at the end of one hall. As soon as Sokka stepped in, he could tell it hadn’t been used in years. Dust particles were visible in the rays of sunlight that filtered in, and everything had the gray tinge of untouched, forgotten things. 

A series of masks hung on one wall. Beside it, an empty wardrobe with the door hanging loosely from its hinges. Sokka already had a foot out into the hallway, ready to leave the dusty room so his nose would stop feeling so tingly, when he noticed a frame on the dresser. 

Curiosity piqued, he walked over to examine it. It was a portrait of a woman. She was beautiful, with a long round face and sharp eyes. Her hair and robes fell loosely around her, giving her a sense of rebellion and royalty at the same time. Beside her was a small boy with a sloppy little topknot and a wide grin. In her lap was a smaller girl, wide-eyed and pudgy-faced as she looked at the boy. 

At first glance, the woman looked like Azula, only with a longer face. But the longer Sokka looked, the more he saw a resemblance of Zuko. In the softness of her features, the warmth of her expression. Even so, there was something distant in her eyes that Sokka couldn’t pinpoint. 

It was hard to believe that Azula had ever been that small or innocent. Harder still to see resemblance between the Zuko that Sokka knew with the small boy in the sketch and his carefree smile. 

“Check the drawer.” 

The sudden voice made Sokka jump as he turned. Iroh stood at the doorway with his usual smile on his face as he regarded him. He nodded, gaze falling to the drawer. 

Wordlessly, Sokka opened the drawer and found a series of faded drawings. He dusted them off as best he could and spread them out, afraid to actually pick them up from their places. None of the sketches had Ozai in them. Only Zuko and Azula, and on occasion the beautiful woman. 

“Her name was Ursa. She got a sketch of the children done each time they came here. At least for as long as she could.” Iroh stood beside Sokka, looking at the drawings with a sad smile. 

“Part of me still isn’t entirely sure it’s them,” Sokka whispered. His fingers grazed over a drawing of Zuko as a toddler as he held baby Azula in his arms, grinning like the proudest brother in the world. It made Sokka’s heart ache. On the other side of the drawer was a photo of them a handful of years older, and already Sokka could note the cold look in Azula’s distant grin and the way Zuko seemed withdrawn. They stood shoulder to shoulder, but stiffer. 

“Funny how much can change in a short time, isn’t it?” Iroh said. 

“What happened to her? To Ursa, I mean.” 

“She tried to run with them. My brother caught her and cast her out. I tried to keep an eye out for her, but the next thing I knew, she’d gotten ill and passed away.” Iroh shook his head and gently shut the drawer. “She didn’t want to be a mother, but her marriage made her one anyway. That has had its effect on her children in many ways.” 

Sokka wasn’t entirely sure what he meant by that, but he didn’t want to know. Not yet. Not after the way those drawings had left him feeling so unsettled. It was no wonder Zuko didn’t talk about her. 

They left the room quietly, and once they’d gotten to the kitchen area, Iroh looked at Sokka and raised an eyebrow. “My nephew gave you that robe?” 

“Yes, why? Am I wearing it wrong?” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” Iroh said with a soft, amused laugh. “That one was Prince Zuko’s favorite for many years. I’m surprised he offered it as an option.” Iroh gestured to the teapot he was heating up. “Would you like to sit with me for some tea while we wait to go?” 

Sokka nodded and followed Iroh, watching as he poured the tea into little cups. Despite the heat of the day, the tea was comforting. There on the beach, it didn’t feel as humid as the capital city. There was a constant breeze that eased the heat, and Sokka was grateful for it. 

“How are the lessons going? Prince Zuko has always been rather good at sword fighting, but he hasn’t needed to practice for some time.” 

“They’re going well. He’s a fast learner. When are his trials, exactly?” 

“The day of the summer solstice. We’re a few moon cycles from the winter solstice, so you have time.” 

“He’ll be ready,” Sokka said with certainty. He did his best not to think about the fact that the summer solstice now served as the deadline to his time at Zuko’s side as well. “He’ll be a good fire lord.” 

“So long as my brother and his sister don’t get in his head,” Iroh said. “Sadly, becoming the fire lord won’t free my nephew from their grip. Not that easily.” Sokka frowned, but before he could ask what he meant, Iroh brushed the topic aside with a wave of his hand and grunt. “Today is no day for troubled thoughts. I’m going to see if Prince Zuko is ready.” 

Iroh rose and walked away, leaving Sokka to stare at his cup of tea. He put it down to pull his hair up into its wolf tail before drinking the rest. He went to get his mask and by the time he returned, Zuko and Iroh were talking by the entryway. 

Zuko had on a deep scarlet robe with detailed golden embroidery. His hair was loose, no hairpiece on or anything suggesting he might be royalty. He fumbled with the strings of his mask to tie it, and Sokka took that as his cue to put his own on. 

“They’re barely setting up, Uncle.” 

“A perfect time to go! We’ll be the first in line for food, the first seated to see the musicians, and we’d have an excellent view of the other performers.” Iroh ushered them both out the door. “Go on, go on, this festival only happens once a year.”

Sokka fell into step beside Zuko and nudged him. “Think they’ll have some dumplings here?” 

“Absolutely,” Zuko said. Sokka could hear the smile behind his mask. 

“I bet I could beat you across the beach to the festival entrance.” 

“Sokka, I’m a prince. I can’t be taking part in childish games like that,” Zuko said in exasperation. As Sokka tried to stammer an apology, Zuko said, “Besides, you don’t know the shortcut.” Then he set off running, leaving Sokka behind just as the ground transitioned into sand. 

“Zuko! That’s not-!” Sokka growled and ran after him. His feet slipped on the sand, and it was harder to run with the robes flowing around him, but it was easy to follow the sound of Zuko’s laughter, the sight of his billowing red robes and dark hair. 

Sand kicked up behind them, the salty wind blew against them, and the setting sun beat down on them. By the time they reached the arch with the banner promoting the festival, they were both doubled over with laughter, shoving each other with half-made, wheezed out accusations about not playing fair. The laughter fit with Zuko’s wide-smiling mask. 

“I would’ve won if you hadn’t played dirty,” Sokka said, finally standing upright. He had a stitch in his side from running and the incessant laughter he couldn’t breathe through. 

“If thinking that helps you sleep tonight, go ahead,” Zuko said with a light voice. He walked past Sokka, facing where they’d come from. “Uncle! Do you want us to head back to you?” he called, removing his mask so his voice could carry. 

In the distance Iroh waved, gesturing for them to continue forward. “Get me some kebabs!” he called back. 

Zuko grinned and put his mask back before looking at Sokka. “Come on, we’re here early enough to have a chance at eating a little of everything.” 

Sokka followed after him, turning his nose up at the scent of searing meat with spices and boiling broth from noodle stands. The people who were milling around also had on elegant robes, but they were all in soft shades of blue and silver. They had masks, most of them related to the actors who’d been in the play. Instruments were being tuned, occasional melodies slipping through the warmups. There were a few jewelry stands, a fortune telling stand, and even toy stands for children. Everything followed the theme of the Moon and the Sea. 

While he was distracted, Sokka felt Zuko grab him by the arm. He was led to food stand after food stand. Zuko placed a new thing to eat in his hands before he could finish the last thing, and Sokka was only glad he’d chosen a mask that left his mouth unobstructed. 

As they made their way through the stands more people arrived. It wasn’t long before the entire area was packed and people spilled onto the beach, lighting small bonfires while teens and children ran through the crowd or kicked a ball around the sand. The music had long since begun to flow smoothly over the chatter and laughter. 

It was a little strange to see more masks than faces, but Sokka marveled at the designs and the way the lights glistened by the time the sun disappeared. A full moon shone overhead, as if the Moon herself knew the celebration was for her and her unreachable lover. 

“So? Which one was better?” Zuko asked after insisting Sokka try some meat in two different sauces. They walked back toward the musicians where Iroh was waiting. 

“Hm. I like the balance of sweet and tangy in this one, but… I think Fire Nation spice has grown on me. I favor the spicy one.” Zuko laughed and proceeded to pull him expertly through the crowd until they reached Iroh near the front. 

“How have you been enjoying the festival, Sokka?” 

“Well, Zuko keeps stuffing my face with food, so it’s been fantastic.” Iroh laughed and gestured for them to sit on the ground with him. “Is this the same music from the play?” 

“No, they’re different musicians. But all the songs are about the two lovers,” Zuko said. “I’m partial to the vocals, but Uncle likes the strings.” 

“Close your eyes, gentlemen,” Iroh said. Sokka did. “There’s a lot of people and a lot of sounds, but focus. Focus on the instruments. On the rise and fall of the rhythm. Like the ocean. Listen to the small shifts in which instruments take over. Subtle, like the moon phases. Listen to the emotion.” 

Sokka furrowed his eyebrows. He let the music wash over him. The singer mostly vocalized, with a raspy haunting quality to her voice. Paired with the music, it created a strong tension in Sokka’s chest. He couldn’t tell if pain or sorrow settled heavier, but he knew it all came from the progression of the music. The way different notes paired together, the melodies, the times when the instruments clashed. 

He felt a gentle pressure against his side. Sokka opened his eyes to find that he and Zuko had managed to close the small space between their bodies. It could be written off to the amount of people around him, but Sokka sensed it was more.

“It’s full of longing,” he whispered, shutting his eyes again. 

“And desire,” Zuko added. 

“Incredible how human the things the spirits feel can be, isn’t it?” 

Sokka couldn’t imagine living an eternity without being able to be with someone you belonged with. But it made him think of what Iroh said- about being human, mortal, and therefore having the right to be reckless.

He couldn’t help but look over at Zuko. He wanted nothing more than to reach over and remove his mask. To touch his cheek and look him in the eyes. He wanted to wrap Zuko in his arms and tell him everything. What he did to his heart, to his mind, to his dreams. 

“Oh, whoa. This music is… a lot more intense than I think I expected,” Sokka said, clearing his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut, and took a steadying breath. 

He felt a hand rest on his forearm. “Are you alright, my friend?” Zuko’s voice was a soft rasp in his ear, and it made Sokka struggle to think. It made him ache. “Let’s take a walk.” Zuko let his uncle know that they wanted to get away from the crowds, then he pulled Sokka up, fingers wrapping around his wrist to lead him through. 

The farther they got from the main part of the festival, the quieter it got. Zuko let the silence settle around them, staying close to him as they walked leisurely along the shore. 

“I’m not quite sure what happened,” Sokka said. 

“I am,” Zuko said. Sokka turned to look at him. Again, he wished he could pull that mask away. “My dear friend, you have a habit of taking the feelings of others and feeling them for yourself. You were so upset at the play, and the look on your face when Uncle explained the way he saw it…. Well, it makes sense that the music got to you too.” 

Sokka was glad the mask and the darkness hid the flush in his face. 

Zuko led him toward an empty space on the shore, illuminated only but the distant festival and the moon. “When I was younger, I asked my mom why the spirits never lashed out at us or hated us for being the reason they had to be apart. What do the spirits care about us? Why not destroy us to be together? We’re small and insignificant to them.” They came to a stop, but Zuko stepped forward, letting the water lap at the bottom of his robe. “She would say that they’re not entirely apart. That when the Moon rises and falls, she manages to kiss the Sea for a moment. Every single day, right over there.” He pointed to the horizon, though the sky and the sea blended together at that moment. “And when the Moon is at her highest, shining brightest, the Sea has the honor of seeing her. Of reflecting her beauty back to her as the purest form of loving her. So they aren’t entirely apart.” 

“It’s a nice way to think about it,” Sokka said. He stepped forward to stand beside Zuko, water soaking his feet immediately. “I know that the stories of the spirits are just myths. At least spirits like the moon and sea and the sun. They’re bedtime stories, so I don’t get why I’m so affected by it. I guess I just really like happy endings.” 

“Maybe that’s why they’re stories. So we don’t make the choices the spirits do. As Uncle says, they teach us to make the best of being mortal.” Zuko turned and gestured up to the beach house. “The fireworks finale will start soon. They look better from the house. Come on.” 

Wordlessly, Sokka followed, finding a way to reach for Zuko for support as they stumbled away from the advancing and receding shore and slippery sand. Zuko gripped Sokka’s sleeve, tugging him along until they reached the house. 

“The western balcony has the best view,” Zuko said. Sokka stepped out onto it, catching sight of the glowing lights from the festival, the moonlight reflecting on the ocean. Zuko discreetly moved to Sokka’s left side. Even with a mask on, Zuko seemed intent on keeping his scarred side away. And to think they’d been doing so well since they left for the festival. 

Sokka grabbed his arm and pulled him back to his right. “What are you doing, Zuko?” He couldn’t see his face with the mask, but he could sense the way he tensed by the way his hand clenched. “Even when we first met, you didn’t act this skittish. Why are you trying to hide?” 

“I’m not hiding-” 

“Be honest with me, please. You stay to my left. You can barely look me in the eyes properly. There are times when you seem to forget, but when you remember, you pull away.” Sokka kept him in place by putting his hands on his shoulders. “Have I done something to make you feel ashamed?”

“No. Nothing at all, Sokka, really. It’s just me.” Zuko ducked his head and gently pushed Sokka’s hands away. “It just feels…. It’s unappealing. It’s embarrassing. You never ask about it, but I know it’s part of my identity. It will always be part of me, of the way people know me and recognize me. I’m the man with the burned face. I’m the deformed prince-” 

Sokka pulled his shirt up, exposing a thick, jagged line of pale, warped skin slithering up his side from his hip to just below his rib. Revealing it effectively cut Zuko’s self-deprecating speech short. “In the South Pole, we use snow leopard caribou to travel longer distances to hunt. When I was 17, one of them got sick and it became violent. I wanted to feed it in hopes of helping it, but when I was close enough, it panicked, began to thrash, and the horn impaled me.” He took off his wolf mask and tilted his head down to look at his scar, recalling the day vividly. “All around me, the snow turned red. I don’t even remember who pulled me away. Katara’s waterbending has healing properties, and it’s the only reason I’m alive.” He lifted his gaze to see Zuko’s shocked expression locked on his mutilation. “Do you think less of me? Does it disgust you or frighten you?” 

Zuko shook his head slowly, his hand ghosting over Sokka’s skin. “No. Not at all.” 

Sokka took a steadying breath before pulling Zuko’s hand closer so his fingertips trailed along the scar. He fought back a flinch, clenching his jaw at the touch. “Then why do you think I could ever think less of you for your scar?”

“Sokka, it’s humiliating to me that you have to look at my charred skin every day. I’m always at your side, and I can’t imagine how sickening it must be-” 

“Do you really think so little of me?” 

Zuko’s hand pulled away. “That’s not what I mean, I- You don’t even know how I got it. You don’t ask, and it just seems better to pretend it doesn’t exist. If I have to stay to your left in order to make that easier for you, then I can do that.” 

“I’ll know when and if you want to tell me. I don’t have to know, and I don’t ask because it’s not imperative for me to know something you might not want to tell me about. I already know  _ you.  _ That’s enough for me.” Too much was spilling from his mouth, but he couldn’t help it. He hated the way Zuko sounded when he insulted himself. He hated how his voice became small. He never wanted Zuko to put up a farce with him. “I’m not avoiding anything. It’s just that I see you as more than that scar.” 

Slowly, Zuko pulled his own mask away and looked at Sokka. His brow furrowed, and Sokka could see the way embarrassment colored his cheeks even in the limited light. Zuko reached for Sokka’s hand, guiding it to his face as he shut his eyes. 

The skin felt coarse, rubbery. Sleek in the pink spots, but uneven in the darker spots. As Sokka trailed his fingers to the part where his hairline ran jagged where the top of his ear had seared and melted into his scalp, he noticed the wound was slightly bigger than his hand. For a brief second, it seemed like Zuko had tilted his head into the touch. 

“Does it still hurt?” Sokka asked softly. The shape and the placement was too peculiar, too specific for it to have been an accident. Rage coiled in Sokka’s stomach at the idea of someone doing this to him. 

“I get phantom pains at times. It’ll feel fresh or tender or itchy. Mostly just itchy, even after so long.” Sokka allowed his expression to break for a moment only because Zuko’s eyes were still shut. “You can ask,” his friend said softly. 

“Do you want to tell me?” 

Zuko smiled. “I’d tell you anything you wanted to know, Sokka.” 

The words sent a jolt through him, but he focused on the moment. As his fingers continued to trace the shape of the burn, as they skimmed lightly over his eyelid, he asked, “Who did this to you?” 

The question seemed to surprise Zuko. He only took a moment to compose himself. “My father.” 

Sokka pulled his hand back sharply, eyes wide as he looked at Zuko. 

Slowly Zuko opened his eyes, a fond smile on his face before it slipped away into a melancholic expression. “I spoke out of turn against one of his generals. I’d already been persistent about peaceful ways to end the war I told you about. I tried so hard to prove my place as crown prince that I ended up losing it. I accepted an Agni Kai, thinking it would be against the cowardly general who wanted to send new, young soldiers to slaughter. Instead my father appeared. I was terrified.” His golden eyes began to gloss over as he looked at Sokka. “Everything I did to gain his favor… he threw in my face. It only got worse when I refused to fight. I kneeled before him, pleading for him to forgive me, to give me another chance.” 

Zuko’s hand came up to his scar. Sokka stared at him, horrified. He couldn’t imagine his own father hurting him like this, so deliberately, so painfully. 

“But it was just more proof of my lack of honor. He did this, and I was sent away. My travels with Uncle weren’t some series of vacations. They were years of banishment.”

“Your own father?” Sokka shook his head and turned, pacing the balcony with anger rising in him, bubbling over until his entire body felt tense. “I could kill the man. What kind of person does that to their son? How could- wait. You… you were banished at sixteen?” 

Zuko frowned. “Fourteen.

“Four- you were a child!” Sokka fumed. “That’s the age of mistakes and he punished you for- not even for a mistake, he punished you for being a good person! Mutilated you. By the spirits, I swear I’ll-” 

“Sokka.” Zuko grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop, laughing in disbelief. “Goodness, Sokka, breathe. I’ve never seen you like this.” 

“You have nothing to be ashamed of,” Sokka said insistently. “You don’t lack honor.” 

“I know that now.” 

“No, I-” Sokka sighed and clenched his fists. “You’re a good person, Zuko. With a good heart. You always have been, haven’t you? And you will make a far better Fire Lord than that poor excuse of a meatsack-” 

“ _ Sokka.”  _ Zuko’s hands clamped down on either side of his face, honing Sokka’s focus. The movement made Sokka freeze as he stared at him. Zuko’s eyes softened as he looked at him. Golden irises scanned his face, lingering, leaving Sokka to struggle for breath. “My dearest friend,” Zuko whispered. “I see now.” 

“See what?” 

Zuko didn’t respond. He only smiled, sheepish and small. His hands felt warm as they repositioned to rest against his jaw. The intimacy of the moment swallowed Sokka whole. It felt impossible to look away, to pull away. He didn’t want to. 

They were close enough to share breaths, but still so far apart. Sokka wanted nothing more than to close the space between them, drawn in by the way Zuko’s gaze remained on parted lips. The events of the last few days replayed in his head. Finding their way through the festival, holding onto each other by their sleeves or huddling together in the midst of crowds, stuffing their faces with food, laughing behind masks. He thought of those late nights with tea in front of them while Iroh regaled a tale of his times as a traveler when he was younger or his times as a general. He thought fondly of the way he and Zuko had managed to create a system of communication with the slightest twitch of their face. 

Is that where his embarrassment came from? Afraid Sokka wouldn’t think him attractive, insecure because of his own growing affections? It made sense. It was the only thing that made sense. Along with the rosy cheeks and the mysterious letter…. It had to be. Sokka only had to lean forward to confirm it. 

Or maybe Zuko had begun to lean in. 

Before Sokka could be sure, a high pitched sound split the silence and the sound of an explosion split them apart. In the sky, lights flew across and fell in little wiggly streams. More followed, lighting up the sky in red, blue, purple, gold, green, orange, and every color in between. Some even exploded in the shape of things. In the shape of a wave that looked like it crashed onto a shore when it shimmered away, or the shape of a woman before it dissolved into the night. In the distance, faint drums could be heard from the festival. 

Sokka cleared his throat and used the lights as an excuse to regain his bearings. Once he trusted himself a bit more, he attempted to speak. “So those are fireworks? They’re amazing,” he said softly. “Captivating.” He smiled and looked over at Zuko. “But I think I’m partial to the southern sky lights.” 

“Are they a different type of firework?” Zuko’s voice was soft, close, and husky. 

“No. At a certain time in the year during our long night, the sky shines with lights that streak across the sky. Not with fire, they just… appear. Like spirits. They swirl and blend together across the stars.”

“Maybe… you could take me to see them one day?” 

Sokka turned to face him, a smile spreading on his face. “The south is no place for a firebender. Especially during the long night. Are you sure?” Zuko nodded, resolute and determined. “Very well. I’ll take you one day.” 

Zuko opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He sighed and laughed softly, turning back to the sky. The fireworks began to spell out words, celebrating the Moon Festival. “These go on for a while. You should get comfortable if you want to watch them all.” 

Before Sokka could answer, they heard another pair of footsteps pad along the balcony. “Gentlemen, there you are. I hadn’t realized you returned already.” 

“The view is better from here,” Zuko said. 

Iroh smiled, playful and bright. “It is, isn’t it? So much for one day. My bones are tired. I’m off to bed. Don’t stay up too late, you do have to return to your training tomorrow.” 

“Sleep well, Uncle.” 

“Goodnight, Iroh.” Sokka bowed respectfully. He watched the older man walk back into the house stretching as he did. Sokka turned back to Zuko and arched an eyebrow at him. “Does this mean you won’t avoid me anymore, dear friend?” 

Zuko’s attention snapped back to him, one corner of his mouth quirking up in a smug, exasperated smirk. “I can’t help being aware of it, but… I’ll try to remember your words.” He glanced at the fireworks and then down at his feet. “I think I’ll retire to my room as well. It’s been a long day.” 

As Sokka tilted his head back up, he couldn’t figure out how to ask about their moment before. He wanted to know if Zuko was experiencing the same turmoil in his chest as he was, if in fact they’d both been thinking the same thing before the fireworks interrupted. He wanted to know how to return to that moment. 

Instead, all he could muster was a resigned, “Goodnight, Zuko.” 

He watched Zuko turn away then leaned against the balcony, watching the sky as it lit up. His mind whirled with hopes born of both the private moments he had with Zuko and Katara’s words. But fears and reality stifled them. He reminded himself that Zuko was betrothed. Regardless of his romantic affections, that wouldn’t change. He reminded himself that they both had their places within their own worlds, worlds that were complete opposites. What they wanted, assuming Zuko felt the same… it would come to nothing. It was best to do as Katara said and focus on friendship.

Though the fireworks were lovely, Sokka couldn't pay attention. His brain had become riddled with thoughts of Zuko and that brief moment before the fireworks. He stayed there, listening to distant cheers for a few moments longer before going back inside the house and heading to his room. After changing his clothes, he sat down on the elegant bedding. He rubbed his face in exhaustion before letting his hair fall loose again. 

He tried to fall asleep, hoping that it might offer some reprieve, but his mind was working too quickly. Instead, Sokka found himself tossing and turning with a tight, uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. The times he managed to fall asleep, his dreams were replays of that moment outside until he jolted awake and groaned. 

Part of him wanted to go find Zuko. Another part of him wanted to forget the moment entirely. Most of all, he wished he had the liberty to kiss Zuko to his heart’s content. 

Finally, Sokka felt his eyes and body get heavy enough with exhaustion that even his restlessness couldn’t stop him from succumbing to sleep. 


	11. About Embracing Recklessness Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your comments on the last chapter!!! They were such a driving force in this chapter. I was stuck for so long, but all the feedback had me sinking myself into the world deeper and I managed to get unstuck. So thank you so so much. Leave a comment and a kudos if you can, they mean a lot, and I try to reply to every comment individually!
> 
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> 
> If you wanna get some sneak peeks and see some artwork inspired by this fic, check out my Instagram: @phoenix_iwsnd 
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> Also PLEASE read the note at the end when you finish the chapter. 
> 
> Thank you guys so much for the support!!! Happy Reading!!  
> -Phoenix

Sokka woke to cold hands shaking him awake and an irritated squawk from his hawk. He reached for his boomerang under his pillow by instinct, but froze when he heard a familiar husky voice whisper his name. 

“What is it?”

“Come with me. I want you to see the sunrise from the beach.” 

Sokka’s brain was still muddled, struggling to catch up. He squinted, realizing belatedly that Zuko had lit a gentle flame in one palm. “I’ve seen the sunrise, what do you-”

“But you haven’t seen it from  _ here, _ ” Zuko said urgently. “Come on.” He used his free hand to haul him up by his arm. Once Sokka had his feet under him, he stumbled, following Zuko out of the room. 

They hurried across the house to one of the balconies. Once they stepped out, Zuko extinguished the fire in his palm. 

“What are you doing awake at this hour, dear friend?” Sokka asked through a yawn. 

Zuko leaned against the railing as he shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep.” Sokka wanted to point out that he’d just managed to reach deep sleep himself, but he couldn’t bring himself to snap at him. Instead, he stood beside him and looked out at the sea. “This is my favorite view,” Zuko said. “Sunsets are nice, and I think their colors are incredible, but…. Sunrises are softer. Gentler. They feel promising when I get to see them. Especially when it reflects on the water, the way it lights up the wet grass.” 

In those few seconds when Sokka kept his attention on Zuko, the sky had managed a miniscule but clear change. Lighter, lilac streams mixed with soft pinks that were the inverse of the deep orange and saturated violet of the sunset slowly lit up the sky. The stars disappeared slowly like a canvas being wiped clean. 

Beside him, Zuko’s body provided a steady heat, a solid presence. The hair on his arms brushed with the sleeves of Zuko’s sleeping robe, sending cold shivers through Sokka’s body. 

“Are you cold?” Zuko asked softly. His voice was so close, Sokka didn’t trust himself to turn to him.

He simply shook his head and allowed a small smile to settle on his face as he watched the first beams of sunlight cast themselves on the water, shimmering in greeting. Though his eyes remained on the skyline as it morphed before him, his body became attuned to Zuko’s. Every little movement, every breath until he matched Zuko’s pace. 

He felt Zuko’s knuckle against his own, brushing together accidentally, but willed himself to stay still. If he pulled away too quickly, he’d give himself away. 

Except... Zuko didn’t pull away either. Their hands remained connected at that single point of contact. Sokka’s breaths came heavier when he felt a finger twitch. He mimicked it until their forefingers were barely hooked together, but neither reacted. Maybe it was too quiet, but Sokka couldn’t be sure. His focus had dwindled to their hands and the volume of his pounding heart. 

He could feel the cold leave Zuko’s hands until they were warm.

The smart thing would’ve been to pull away. To scratch at his nose and pretend he hadn’t noticed as he made a comment on the sunrise. Before Sokka could talk himself into doing it though, he realized Zuko was standing at his right side again and his hair wasn’t falling between them like a shield. The realization made his hand twitch, the rest of his fingers knocking against Zuko’s. 

He thought of the night before. Of that brief moment where he’d been so certain…. With Zuko beside him like this, he didn’t want to think about logic and consequences and the future. Those thoughts had no place in his brain at the moment. 

He looked down subtly to see Zuko’s long, thin fingers frozen as they pressed against Sokka’s. Before he could overthink it any more, Sokka moved his own fingers slowly until they slid into Zuko’s heated hand, feeling every palm line along the way until they were lined up.

Sokka risked looking at Zuko, but his golden eyes were already on him. They skimmed Sokka’s face until they settled on his eyes, soft with nervous hesitance and hope. Sokka let his fingers fall between the spaces of Zuko’s, relief flooding through him when Zuko tightened his grip in response. Like an echo of the night before, their faces were a breath apart. Sokka could barely trust himself to breathe. 

“Zuko, I-” 

Warm lips pressed against his own, softly at first. Zuko’s free hand came up to cup his jaw, and Sokka melted into the touch, a soft, surprised sound slipping from the back of his throat. He wasn’t sure where to put his hands or how to move his mouth. His hesitance made Zuko pull back, just enough for their noses to touch. 

“Is this okay?” he asked breathlessly.

Words eluded Sokka, so he only nodded and closed the space between them again, pressing his lips against Zuko’s, chasing that warmth and softness. He felt something hot and wet against his lip before he felt the gentlest scrape of teeth. Before Sokka could process anything, he turned to press Zuko against the railing, holding him by the back of his neck and he pressed into the kiss, mimicking the movement. 

It was like he needed to make up for all those times he held himself back. All those times he’d wanted to rake his fingers through his dark hair, stroke his cheek, hold him in his arms until nothing could hurt him again, kiss him until he couldn’t think. Sokka could touch now. He could indulge it all- and he did. 

He pushed his hands into Zuko’s hair, cradling his head while managing to press closer to him. His hands tightened, gripping fistfuls of hair and making Zuko grunt. Sokka let go and let his hands move to caress his cheeks, despite how badly his fingers shook.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be,” Zuko said with a smile. 

The sunrise behind him gave him a soft glow, and maybe most of that was in Sokka’s own head, but he looked beautiful regardless. It was the most genuine smile Sokka had seen on him, and his heart leapt at the idea that it was because of him,  _ for  _ him. 

Zuko kissed him again, softly, and Sokka smiled against it as he caught his breath. Then he leaned down, resting his forehead in the curve of Zuko’s shoulder and neck. 

“You’re warm,” Sokka said softly. 

“Because I’m with you,” Zuko answered. One of his hands went into Sokka’s hair, slowly making its way to his scalp to give gentle arctic hen pecks. “I interrupted you.” Sokka hummed in confusion. “You were going to say something before I….” He smiled, sheepish but proud. “Well, before I interrupted.” 

“Before you kissed me.” Zuko nodded, nuzzling his cheek against Sokka’s head softly. “I just… wanted to ask about last night.” He lifted his head to look Zuko in the eyes. “I wanted to be sure I wasn’t crazy.” 

With a hum, Zuko closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Sokka’s. “I couldn’t sleep at all after last night. I thought I might never get that courage again.” He took Sokka’s hand and brought it up to his chest. “My dearest Sokka.” 

The way those words sounded as they fell from his lips left Sokka even more breathless. He wanted to stay in that moment forever, with the sunrise behind them, the ocean sounds in the distance, the gentle breeze cradling them.

But the world was still there. With the rush of the moment receding, the real world and all its expectations soured the moment of indulgence. The world where they were from opposing worlds, where they had their own lives to live, where their paths only intercepted by chance for a brief time. Sokka had a responsibility to his tribe. He had duties to fulfill. Zuko had his trials, his coronation, his  _ marriage… _ . 

He pulled away abruptly, clenching his fists at his sides. Guilt overwhelmed him, taking the last bit of relief and joy from the moment. He’d been careless and stupid. Suddenly Sokka couldn’t bring himself to look at Zuko.

“Sokka?” Zuko’s voice wavered, uncertain. His hand moved to touch him, but Sokka stepped back to stay out of reach. “Sokka, please tell me I didn’t just ruin everything.” 

He risked looking into those golden eyes, the same shade that permeated his dreams, his thoughts. It pained him not to return to his arms. To ignore his common sense and let himself revel in the fact that Zuko wanted him too. “No. You didn't.”

“Then why are you looking at me like that?” 

Frustrated, Sokka turned and began to pace the balcony. “Because I’m afraid, Zuko. I’m afraid of what this means. You’re meant to become Fire Lord.” He clenched his jaw and anxiously pulled at the roots of his own hair. “You’re betrothed. I came here to train you, and I’m training you to make you worthy of someone else.” The words left him exhausted and hollow. He slumped over, propping himself up with his hands on the railing. 

Maybe that hurt the most. That the only reason they couldn’t be together was that Zuko had already been promised to a highborn lady in order for him to regain his place. That someone else would have his touch, his kiss, his future. And it was never going to be Sokka.

A few moments later, he felt a hot hand at his shoulder. “Well right now, as I am… am I worthy of you?” 

Sokka turned to look at him, and he was certain he reflected every ounce of anguish on Zuko’s features. “Of course you are,” he said without hesitation. 

Zuko’s hand gently cupped Sokka’s face. He leaned forward slowly, giving Sokka time to pull away. Instead, Sokka let out a defeated sigh and allowed himself another taste of Zuko’s lips. This time it was softer, more careful. 

“We deserve the freedom of being reckless.” 

“Maybe. But that doesn’t mean we have it,” Sokka whispered. He furrowed his eyebrows and put a finger to Zuko’s lips, stopping another kiss. “What about Lady Mai? It’s not right to go behind her back-” 

“Mai already knows about my feelings for you,” Zuko said. Sokka stared at him in disbelief, and Zuko only smiled in amusement. “She’s very smart. She caught on even while I tried to deny it to myself.” His smile faltered as he looked down. “Although she doesn’t hold it against me, I know it still hurt her. I would never go behind her back about this, you know?” 

Sokka thought back to his time in the South Pole, the things Zuko said when he came back. “That’s what she talked to you about when she stayed with you.” 

Zuko nodded. “She agreed to help me keep it a secret from Azula. Everything else… well, that’s far in the future. I’m tired of always worrying about things to come and living my life the way others think I should.” His eyes searched Sokka’s face, a worried crease appearing above the bridge of his nose. “But what do  _ you  _ want?” he asked, carefully pushing Sokka’s loose hair back behind his ear.

“Reasonably or idealistically?” 

“Let’s say in a perfect world,” Zuko said, frowning at the question. 

“In a perfect world….” Sokka laughed and rubbed his face with one hand before looking out at the horizon where the sun had come up, casting the entire sky in a soft, light blue hue. “In a perfect world, I would be with you. Always. I’d take you home where Katara would tell you every possible embarrassing thing about me, and Gran would feed you soup and teach you how to make a warm pelt, and my dad would take us out on the boat to talk about how serious we were. I’d show you the spirit lights, and the tribe would want to hear all about your travels with Iroh. You might get colder during our long night, but it would be the perfect reason for me to hold you and never let go. You’d learn to cook because Gran believes everyone should know how to cook. Iroh would get along with her, you know? He’d be with us too.” He laughed as he pictured it. Zuko covered head to toe in pelts or constantly holding a small fire in his palm. Him and Katara practicing their bending on the shore. Iroh surrounded by children who were fascinated with his stories and songs. Sokka nodded and smiled sadly. “My heart would be complete that way. My family, my home, my people… and you. I would never know homesickness again.” Sokka turned to look at Zuko, pleased with the surprise evident on his face. “What is it?” he asked with a smirk.

“You’ve thought about it quite a lot,” Zuko whispered.

“Lately my thoughts have been consumed by you, yes.” Sokka took his hands and pulled them up to his face despite how hot they felt. “This isn’t a perfect world, you know?” 

Stubbornly, Zuko shook his head. “I know, but we could make it close to one. Here on the island. We don’t have to be Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe and Crown Prince Zuko. We could just be two young men who want to be together. We could build our perfect world here for as long as possible and hold onto it.” He pressed his hands against Sokka’s cheeks insistently. “I don’t think I can go back to restraining myself after this. Not knowing you want to be with me too.” 

Sokka didn’t have an answer. He didn’t have a solution. All he could do was lean into Zuko and tilt his head up a fraction to offer another kiss.

He didn’t want to restrain himself either. He didn’t want to pretend like Zuko hadn’t just turned his entire world upside down. Even if it all ended in heartache. 

“And if I say yes?” 

A wide smile spread on Zuko’s face as he ran his thumb over Sokka’s cheekbones. He tilted Sokka’s face toward him, pressing impossibly closer to him. It was a desperate kiss, full of disbelief. It felt like Sokka was in the middle of one of his dreams. Like he might wake up at any second and return to keeping just enough distance, return to stifling his feelings. 

They pulled apart and Sokka blushed nervously. “I’m not very good at this. I feel like I’m overthinking.” 

Zuko’s nose brushed against his gently as he shook his head slowly. “You’re fine. It’s perfect.” They heard shuffling inside the house, then Iroh’s gruff voice singing about Ba Sing Se. “Uncle’s awake. We should say good morning.” He held out his hand and smiled when Sokka stared at him in confusion. “I don’t want to hide you, Sokka.” 

The words left Sokka with a fluttering feeling in his stomach. He slid his hand into Zuko’s, catching his breath when Zuko kissed the back of his hand. It seemed like he’d gained sudden confidence with their confessions, and Sokka wasn’t sure how to catch up. 

They walked back into the house, making their way to the kitchen where Iroh was already setting up some tea to boil. 

“ _ And they kiss so sweet, that you really-  _ ah, you two are already awake!” 

“Good morning, Uncle,” Zuko said. 

Sokka moved to stand beside him. He felt nervous about Iroh’s reaction. 

“Good morning, gentlemen. What would-” He cut off as he looked at the two of them, his eyes falling to where their hands interlocked. For a brief second, Sokka saw a flash of sadness in his face. It disappeared quickly as a gentle smile replaced it. “Off to your morning training? Don’t forget Prince Zuko, we have to go over the recent occurrences in the other Fire Nation cities. You’ve been slacking in keeping up with daily news.” Before they could answer, Iroh set a plate of a pastry Sokka was pretty sure he’d tried at the festival. “Eat a moon-bun so you’re not exerting yourselves on empty stomachs. I bought several of them last night before coming back.” 

“Thank you, Iroh,” Sokka said as he bit into one. A sweet, fruity taste filled his mouth. He looked at Zuko who was tentatively eating a moon-bun, averting his gaze. Iroh didn’t seem fazed at all past that split second of reaction. 

“We should get our swords,” Zuko said. He kissed Sokka’s cheek as he walked away from him. Sokka caught the way the corner of Iroh’s mouth quirked up before he looked away, busying himself with rearranging the moon-buns on a plate. 

Wordlessly, Sokka went to grab his sword from his room and met Zuko in the hallway. They left, with Zuko only taking a moment to call back and let Iroh know they’d be at the beach training. As they walked, Sokka laughed softly and shook his head in disbelief. 

“I can’t believe that was it. I thought he’d… be angry or give us a lecture or say something about your betrothal.” 

Zuko mindlessly twirled one of his swords and cleared his throat. “Well… you see, Uncle has known about… my feelings for you for some time….” 

Sokka grabbed his arm to pull him to a stop. “Pardon?” he asked in surprise. Zuko smiled sheepishly, only managing a shrug. Incredulous, Sokka felt his heartbeat turn louder, stronger as he let the words sink in. “In the name of all the spirits…. Zuko, how long have you felt this way about me?” 

“Possibly from the first moment I laid eyes on you. As for when I realized it, I believe it was during the time you were ill, criticizing my story-telling with that hoarse, muddled voice. I ignored it though. Until it became impossible to deny when you went home, and I realized I hated being without you.” 

His words left Sokka breathless, leaving him to forget every bit of his surroundings except for the man in front of him. He lifted a hand, letting it hover over the left side of his face. “May I?” Sokka whispered. 

Zuko nodded. “Of course.” 

He let his hand settle, partially against his scar, partially against unblemished skin. Then he pulled Zuko in for a kiss. Even if he wasn’t entirely sure about the right way to do it, he just knew he needed to experience it again. Zuko’s words had shaken him to his very core. 

To know he had been desired from the start- with all of his outbursts, ramblings, and blunders. It seemed impossible. Yet here was Zuko, returning his kiss with unchecked fervor. 

They broke apart only because it became so overwhelming to Sokka. Zuko’s warmth, the almost unbearable heat of his hands burning through the thin fabric of his shirt, the confident intrusion of his mouth, the press of his body like they wanted to meld together.

He took a breath and pressed his forehead against Zuko’s. Sokka could feel his breath against his face, soft and sweet- like the fruit in the moon-bun. “The spirits worked in our favor to bring us together,” Sokka said softly. He didn’t want to voice the second part of that thought. He wanted to enjoy what they had in that small piece of the world that was theirs now. So he took Zuko’s hand and pulled him along to the beach. “Come on, you won’t be able to sweet talk me into forgetting to train you.” 

“That sounds like a challenge, dearest.” 

Sokka laughed, reveling in the way Zuko’s endearment left him feeling jittery. “Come with me. Let’s see how you fare within the water.” Zuko frowned, but let Sokka pull him into the sea until the water came up to their waist. “Keep your attacks above water. Don’t work against the current.” 

“Let me guess- I have to move like the water,” Zuko said with a sigh. Sokka nodded and gestured for Zuko to take his stance. 

He seemed to struggle at first. His style was always more direct, a full-force attack. His instinct was to move however he wanted, expecting the water to part for him. He lost his grace within the waves, often getting shoved back when he meant to move forward and losing the momentum of his movement. 

“Easy now,” Sokka said, grabbing his wrists to ground him again when he began to get too agitated. “Remember what you said. You have to move with the water.” Zuko huffed and pushed runaway hairs from his face. Sokka stepped back and gestured at the swords. “Sheath them. Let’s try something else.” Zuko frowned and sheathed his swords before looking at Sokka expectantly. Sokka smiled. “Close your eyes. Focus on the push and pull of the water. Feel it and let it carry you.” 

He moved when Zuko shut his eyes, wading further into the ocean but facing the shore. Zuko let himself get swayed by the gentle waves of the water, stepping toward the shore and away in varying increments. 

Sokka made sure to stay right behind him, prepared for a particularly powerful rush of water to pull him. It didn’t take long before Zuko let himself get pulled further into the ocean with a receding wave, colliding against Sokka’s chest with a soft grunt. He opened his eyes to look Sokka in the eyes, their golden color shining brighter and clearer with the sunlight. 

“See? It’s rewarding to move with the water.” He kissed Zuko’s lips gently and nodded. “Now do that while we spar.”

He unsheathed his sword and moved closer to the shore, keeping his attention on Zuko. 

As Zuko unsheathed his swords, Sokka lunged forward with the water, closing the distance between them. Zuko managed to dodge, apparently more focused in moving with the water rather than attacking this time. He couldn’t move fast enough to avoid Sokka’s swings every time, so he began to block and parry, moving around enough to make Sokka have to switch directions several times. 

“No attacks this time?” Sokka goaded. Suddenly he found himself caught between a blunt sword edge at his throat, the other pressed across his lower back. 

Meanwhile Zuko’s voice came from behind, next to his ear. “I wouldn’t say that,” he murmured. He laughed, a low, husky sound before he kissed Sokka’s cheek. “Turn around.” 

Sokka grumbled and moved until the swords ended up at the back of his neck and his stomach. He arched an eyebrow at Zuko, amused with the satisfied glint in his eyes. “You bested me at last, my fierce little snow leopard.” 

Zuko’s cheeks tinged red, the color reaching to the tip of his good ear. “I have a phenomenal teacher.” He placed a small amount of pressure on the sword at the back of his neck to pull Sokka into another kiss. 

“I’ve never seen training quite like that!” they heard Iroh’s distant voice call. 

They pulled apart immediately, Sokka already half sunken into the water to hide as Zuko let out a surprised gasp. “Uncle!” Iroh stood along the shore, laughing heartily. 

Zuko and Sokka shared a look before beginning to make their way back to the shore.

“I brought food. I thought the two of you had spent long enough doing hard work, but I see now you were perfectly fine,” he said with a teasing lilt as he handed them towels. 

“No, no, Iroh- we  _ were  _ training. Honest-” 

“Easy, Sokka. He’s only poking fun at us,” Zuko said with fond exasperation. Iroh’s grin grew wider, feigning innocence as he picked up a bundle he’d brought with him. 

The food. Immediately, Sokka laid out his towel and plopped down, untying the knot in the cloth to eat. 

After eating, the three of them laid in the warmth of the sun, though Zuko preferred to use Sokka’s stomach as a pillow for his head. Sokka didn’t mind it, though; it gave him the perfect chance to offer arctic hen pecks. 

Iroh didn’t treat them differently than usual. Except for the occasional teasing remark, everything felt normal. It felt  _ good.  _

After wading into the water for more recreational purposes than sword fighting, they ended up returning to the beach house around sunset. Sokka was already starving again. He kept struggling to get water out of his ear and desperately wished Katara was there to help and even enjoy these moments of peace and incandescent happiness with him. 

The ocean water left Sokka’s skin feeling sticky and coarse, so he excused himself for a chance to bathe once they’d made and eaten dinner. 

He supposed it was a matter of time before responsibilities and reality caught up to them.

Iroh gathered Zuko and Sokka for tea before they headed to bed. Zuko’s hair still dripped from his own bath, and Sokka got the strongest urge to brush and braid it for him. Before he could make the comment, Iroh spoke with a heavy voice that made Sokka’s stomach twist. 

“I hope you both know that I’m overjoyed for you. Seeing you as happy as you’ve been today after you’ve both had to tread so carefully before is a relief for me as someone who cares deeply about both of you.” As he spoke, Zuko put his cup down, his eyes steady on the table. Sokka watched as his hand dropped, seeking his own. Immediately, Sokka let them intertwine. 

His hands were cold. Almost like ice. 

“However, there are responsibilities that the two of you will have to tend to in the future. Prince Zuko, you are to be married. Crowned Fire Lord, as is long overdue. You have a nation to run, a nation to fix after the devastated and neglected state your father has left it in. And Sokka, your home will need you back. Your people will need you. I hate to remind you both of it, but I fear ignoring an inevitable truth might result in resentment between you.” Iroh let the words sink in, slow and gentle despite the bitter reality they held. Sokka looked up at Iroh, surprised to see how sullen he looked. “I don’t plan to keep you apart or give you rules. You’re both adults. I just want to be sure you know what you’re getting into.” 

“I appreciate it, Uncle,” Zuko said softly. “Believe me, I know. And Sokka does too. But all my life I’ve lived to please everyone else. To restore the honor I never lost. I let Father dictate where my life will go. This…. What I feel when I’m with Sokka… it’s more freedom than I’ve known in a long time. I want to enjoy it.” 

Sokka squeezed his hand and shut his eyes. “I know that when we return to the palace, we’ll have to be more discreet. Can’t we just take advantage of the anonymity we hold here to live like we might under any other circumstances?” He opened his eyes again, something heavy settling in his chest. “I’m aware I’ll become familiar with heartache. For now, I’d like to enjoy the freedom of recklessness.” 

His words made Iroh smile slightly. Zuko’s hand began to get warmer within his own. Iroh looked at them in turn before nodding slightly. “I respect your desires, gentlemen. I’m sorry for ending a nice day on such a sour note. I trust you both understand why.” 

They nodded, and Zuko assured him it was fine. “Thank you for the tea, Uncle. And for your concern. You know how much I value your advice and opinions.” Zuko stood up and plastered a strained smile on his face. “Goodnight.” 

He retreated to the hallway and Sokka took a moment to help clean up. He bowed respectfully to Iroh. “Thank you, Iroh. For being so kind and understanding as well as the way you worry about us. Sleep well.” 

“You too, Sokka,” Iroh said kindly. 

Sokka went to his room and offered his hawk a piece of plain meat. Though he was exhausted from not having slept well the night before, he wanted to write back to Katara. He had so much to fill her in on; he could already feel his hand cramping from how much he would have to write. 

Just as he decided to write first thing in the morning, a gentle rap on the screen pulled his attention from the parchments he was laying onto the desk. He pulled the screen aside to find Zuko standing there, red-faced. 

“I hope I’m not being too forward considering how new this is,” he said softly, “but could I stay with you for the night? Despite my best efforts, I can’t help but feel I should make the most of every second with you.” He laughed nervously, and quickly added, “You can say no, of course.” 

Sokka smiled and stepped aside to let him in. “As if I could deny you anything.” Flustered, Zuko stepped in, and Sokka pulled him in close so their noses and forehead touched. “Zuko, my dearest.” 

Zuko hummed softly, contentedly. He looked around the room, and his eyes settled on the desk. “Were you going to write Katara?” 

“Yes, but I might wait till morning for the sake of my sanity.” 

Zuko hesitated. “Will you tell her about us?” 

“Would that be okay?” Zuko nodded, smiling softly as his cheeks colored further. Sokka smiled and took his hands. “We should rest,” he whispered. 

As he moved to his bed, he could feel his heart pound harder, could feel every single beat in the rest of his body. He shifted to the edge, giving Zuko space to settle in as he tried to keep his shaking breaths and hands from giving him away. 

A sweet smell wafted from Zuko’s hair as he laid down, facing Sokka. The scent along with the intensity of his stare muddled his sense, but Sokka welcomed it. 

“If ever you want to put an end to this, even before all our…  _ responsibilities  _ catch up to us, I hope you know you can tell me,” Zuko said. “I’d understand. Whether it’s tomorrow, or by winter, or-” 

Sokka put a hand to his mouth and narrowed his eyes. “What are you saying?” He leaned in, resting his head on Zuko’s chest to hear the thumps of his heart. “My soul, my spirit- it’s yours now. I’ll take every last second I get to be by your side, and I’ll be yours for all of them.” He shut his eyes as Zuko’s fingers began to gently scratch his head, fingers threading through his hair. “I’ve made my decision, Zuko. It’s to be with you. However long that is.” 

“My dearest Sokka….” 

He listened to Zuko’s breathing, to his heartbeat, to the soft scratching sounds his nails made on his scalp. Slowly, he fell into the deepest sleep he’d ever known. 

He woke before Zuko. Zuko had curled up, his hair splayed along the pillow messily, face peaceful as he slept on. Sokka smiled and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek before getting up and sitting at his desk. He tried to keep the parchment quiet as he flattened it out to begin writing. 

_ Katara,  _

_ You were right. And for once I’m overjoyed at being wrong.  _

_ So much has happened since I last wrote to you. Several little moments where I learned bits and pieces about who Zuko is and what he’s like when he’s free to be himself left me falling deeper for him. Two nights ago, there was a festival on the island in honor of the spirits in the play. Normally, I would go into lengthy detail about the festival, the food, and the music. I can’t bring myself to focus on those things though, so I’ll get to the purpose of my letter.  _

_ The festival ended with fireworks. Zuko brought me back to the house for a better view of them. _

_ I found out why he’d become so strange, why he has a burn that covers most of his left side (which I can’t even recall if I’ve told you about it), and even… well, I’ll get to that later. For all of his strength, status, and pride, Zuko was ashamed of his scar. He didn’t want me to look at it, to look at him. I’d relay the story as he said it to me, but if I’m honest it enrages me too much and I’d rather maintain the happiness I’m feeling. With the context of the moment, I realized Zuko might have believed I found him unattractive because of the burn. A ridiculous thought, in my opinion. The only thing more beautiful than his physical appearance is his character.  _

_ Anyway, after his admission, there was a brief moment in which I thought we might cross that line we keep dancing on.  _

_ Sadly, the fireworks managed to ruin it all. I struggled to sleep the next day, which felt very strange. Then he woke me up before the sunrise and pulled me from my room. He insisted I need to watch the horizon, but I’d become too distracted by his presence. By his warmth. Katara, every moment culminated. Every time I held myself back, every moment of desire muddled with doubt, every shared glance that resulted in frantic looking away- it all came down to that second when our fingers knocked together.  _

_ With the rush I felt in the moment, I can’t recount it step by step, I just know he kissed me.  _ _ He kissed me, Katara. _ _ We spent the day being free. It was invigorating.  _

_ I can imagine your primary reaction to what I just wrote. Please don’t worry too much. No one knows who we are here on the island, and Iroh already spoke to us about responsibilities and risks.  _

_ I’m aware that my destiny is to lose him. At this moment though, he is mine, and I am his. That is enough for me.  _

_ Still I must admit something, Tara. I don’t know what love feels like. I’ve never asked Dad what it was like to love Mom. Even so, I suspect and fear I may be falling in love with him. By some miracle, I believe he feels the same. But he is not mine to keep, and that agony is one I will live with for the rest of my days. _

_ This is why I’m more than willing to take the risk both you and Iroh and even Dad warned me about. Like you said, whether I indulge it or not, that feeling is there. I will feel the pain of losing him whether I grant myself the liberty of kissing him and holding him or not.  _

_ Dad told me not to give my heart to someone who couldn’t take it, but I think I’d already given it to Zuko. By then, I believe I already held his. I stand by my choice, Katara. I stand by him. If it isn’t too much to ask, please don’t write back with sisterly chastising warnings or reminders. Believe me when I tell you that I know. I just can’t bother to listen to reason when I can feel this… indescribable thing in my entire being each time I’m near him. _

_ I hope that everyone at home is well. I assure you, I haven’t forgotten or disregarded my responsibilities to the tribe.  _

_ I love you and miss you. I wish you could be here.  _

_ Sincerely,  _

_ Your brother, Sokka  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been debating how to go about the more intimate scenes in future chapters. I know some people don't like reading them, and if I were to add them here, I'd have to change the rating. I don't mind doing that, but I also want this fic to be available to everyone who would like to read it. And I want the experience of reading this story to be a comfortable one. 
> 
> I don't tend to be brash or too crude in my style of writing intimate sex scenes, so I don't think it would be overly explicit but I do let the moment you know, have its moment. Either I could make those scenes in a separate "work" that will be related to this one, or I could go ahead and write them, or I could NOT write those scenes and simply allude to them. 
> 
> Let me know if you guys have a preference! (If you want an idea of my style you can check out the last chapter of Lovesick ((Addiction & Side Effects)) though it's a klance fic. That's the latest one I've done.)


	12. About Discretion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank you all enough for the amount of support and feedback you've given this story! We still have a ways to go, but I just wanted you all to know <3 
> 
> Remember you can find me on tumblr (people have made moodboards and fanart!!!!! I am EC STAT IC!!!!) to say hi or talk about this story. Also if you haven't had a chance to check out the playlist, the link is at the beginning of one of the past chapters! 
> 
> Again, thank you all so much!!! Happy Reading!
> 
> -Phoenix

_ Sokka,  _

_ I can’t imagine how wonderful it is to have your feelings reciprocated. Truly, I’m happy for you. You deserve to experience love, and I believe it’ll be like Dad says- you won’t know until it’s all you know. Just like it was for him and Mom.  _

_ I don’t want to be another voice telling you the consequences. You’re a smart man, and I have no doubt that you’re aware of them. You’re only ever impulsive about things that truly matter to you, enough to make you put aside logic and sense in favor of emotions. Like the time when I fell through thin ice and you jumped right in after me, apparently forgetting that I’m a waterbender! As your sister, I support you and your happiness. As your sister, the pain you’re preparing for worries me. But it’s your choice, and I can see that you’ve made it. _

_ You didn’t make it clear whether I could tell Dad and Gran about you and Zuko, so I’ll keep it to myself for now. How is sword practice going?  _

_ The tribe misses you, especially the kids. I know you’d never turn your back on the tribe, Sokka. You don’t have to say it. Enjoy your time in the Fire Nation. With Zuko. Know that you can tell me anything and trust me with everything. Hug that prince of yours for me, and tell him I expect him to treat you well.  _

_ We miss you more than the sun.  _

_ With all my love,  _

_ Your sister _

The letter left a bittersweet feeling within Sokka. He folded it up and put it in his pocket. His gaze fell on Zuko who was in the middle of a briefing about the latest news in the Fire Nation cities and villages with Iroh. 

Zuko kept rubbing his forehead, as if he had a headache. Wordlessly, Sokka moved his chair closer to him. He grabbed Zuko’s hand, gently forcing it to unclench so he could interlock their fingers. Zuko’s shoulders relaxed slightly as he sunk back into his chair further, glancing at Sokka for a brief moment. His eyes were full of gratitude. 

“Why hasn’t my father done anything about this?” he asked Iroh, looking at the several news pamphlets for various cities. They were covered in headlines condemning the Fire Nation. Strikes were rampant among several refineries with benders and non-benders uniting. “He can’t expect the workers to be happy about the conditions they’re in.” 

“From what I heard before we came here, he plans to use the military to bring order back, stopping the strikes and the protests,” Iroh said as he gathered the pamphlet into a stack. 

“That won’t help the tensions between the citizens and the crown,” Zuko said with a tired sigh. “I’m inheriting cities of angry people. And they have every right to be upset. He doesn’t even listen to what they have to say. He’s going to push the nation into another civil war at this rate.” 

“All the more reason for you to make it through your trials and finally be coronated. You have the ability and the heart to change the Fire Nation, Prince Zuko.” 

Sokka knew Iroh meant the words as encouragement, but he couldn’t help but feel the heavy weight of responsibility in them. It was a tremendous amount of pressure and expectation to put on Zuko, especially when he wasn’t even allowed inside of briefing rooms when they were back in the palace. 

Iroh’s words also reminded Sokka of a question he’d been meaning to ask since he heard Iroh say Zuko’s coronation was long overdue. “Was Zuko supposed to be crowned before? Or is it just whenever the previous Fire Lord deems him ready?” 

“I was supposed to be crowned when I turned twenty-one,” Zuko said. “After the years of banishment, though, my father didn’t think it was right. Later, he decided on the trials and the wedding. Mai’s family also wanted to wait to be sure Mai would be happy with the arrangement. I’m not sure why this was the year they decided I was ready. I thought my father would make me wait even longer.” 

“If Prince Zuko hadn’t been accepted back, Azula would have been crowned this past summer,” Iroh added. 

Sokka grimaced at the thought of Azula on the throne. “That’s a young age to inherit a realm.” Beside him, Zuko laughed humorlessly and pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s enough debriefing for a day. You won’t be able to solve the entire nation’s problem in an evening, much less when you still need to be coronated. Zuko, my dearest, take a breath.” 

“Perhaps Sokka is right. That’s enough catching up for today. You have plenty of other studying to do.” Iroh stood and grabbed the stack of pamphlets. “I’m going to the market to pick up more things. If I find any of that desert pear you both like, I’ll bring some back.” 

“Thank you, Uncle,” Zuko called after him. “Be careful!” He turned his attention to Sokka and gave him a grateful, tired smile. “How’s Katara?” 

“Good. She’s happy for us. She sends you a hug and a thinly veiled threat to be good to me.” Zuko laughed and let his head rest lazily against his fist, scratching idly at his scar. Sokka put his hand at the side of his face, letting his thumb graze lightly over the spot. “Is it bothering you?” 

“Just a bit itchy. It happens when I stress. It’s worse when it’s hot, but the weather is getting colder thankfully.” 

Sokka couldn’t really feel a difference in the weather. It was still hot to him, but that wasn’t the important thing. He leaned forward and kissed Zuko softly, pulling his hand away from his face. “You’ll be a good Fire Lord, Zuko. But that job won’t be yours for a while. It’s wonderful that you care so much, and you should. Just don’t get upset with yourself for the things you don’t have the means to do right now.” 

“I know I shouldn’t, but my family has caused tremendous suffering to the Fire Nation and even surrounding Earth cities and villages. I carry the weight of those transgressions along with the responsibility to fix it.”

“I have no doubt that you will.” He nudged Zuko gently. “Move over.” As Zuko shifted, Sokka squeezed into the chair. “Come on, rest your head.” 

Zuko only smiled and moved so they could both sit comfortably while he leaned against Sokka’s shoulder. “You never told me when you realized what you felt for me, you know?” He lifted his head to look Sokka in the eyes. “Even I wasn’t entirely sure you reciprocated until you didn’t move away the night of the festival.” 

“Really? Nothing gave me away? Not the long glances or the fact that I returned solely for you?” Zuko shrugged and put his head back on Sokka’s shoulder. Sokka laughed softly, playing with a strand of Zuko’s hair. “Okay. Well, I can’t be sure about when I started feeling things for you. I knew I’d become protective of you and that I cared for you, but I just assumed it was because you’d become my friend. Then….” He let out a sigh and grimace as the memory of that day in the garden flashed in his head. “Then I saw you kissing Mai and… I couldn’t explain why I felt the way I did. I felt like a fool falling for you when you were right in front of me with your betrothed.” 

Zuko pulled himself away from Sokka to look at him better, an unspoken apology simmering behind his eyes. Though he must have known Sokka didn’t blame him for anything. Not for his engagement, not for his place as crown prince, not even for the kiss. 

He gently brushed the back of his fingers along Zuko’s cheek, watching the way his eyes shut as he leaned into the touch. 

“Then we’ll both be fools,” Zuko said. “Blissfully happy fools. It doesn’t seem too bad, does it?” 

A playful smile spread on Sokka’s lips as he kissed him again. “Not at all.” 

Zuko looked at him with a smile, one hand holding Sokka’s chin. “I was curious- why’d you shave the stubble you had when you first came back from the South Pole?” 

“Oh. I’m just used to shaving my face. It grows unevenly, so it looks nicer when I’m clean-shaven.” 

Zuko hummed and slid a finger down Sokka’s cheek. “Would you be opposed to letting it grow back in?” 

With a disbelieving laugh, Sokka arched an eyebrow and looked at Zuko suspiciously. “Did you like it that much?” Zuko only shrugged and turned his face back toward the balcony, staring out at the sea. But his cheeks were red, and he was barely suppressing a smile. “I suppose it would be nice not to worry about shaving for a while.” 

He laughed when Zuko’s smile grew and proceeded to hide his face in the curve of Zuko’s neck, letting out a soft breath to tickle him. As Zuko squirmed and pushed against him, Sokka only held him tighter. 

He heard Zuko’s laughter cut off, felt his body go stiff. Sokka pulled away to see what was wrong, but Zuko’s eyes had become distant. They’d been drained of their warmth. 

“What is it, Zuko?” 

After disentangling himself from Sokka, Zuko stood and walked to the balcony railing. “There’s a palace ship coming in.”

Sokka stood to join him. His eyes fell on the distant shape on the water with the black ash pumping into the sky. “Who?” 

“Whoever it is wasn’t invited,” Zuko said, his words low but sharp. “Uncle would’ve told me if he asked someone to come. Mai would’ve arrived in a smaller ship. My father wouldn’t leave the capitol.” His eyes narrowed as his grip on the balcony tightened. “It has to be Azula.” Zuko’s gaze shifted from the ship to Sokka. “Which means… our perfect world is being infiltrated. We should get inside. It won’t be long before she docks.” 

Sokka grabbed his letter and went inside, nudged along by the soft pressure of Zuko’s hand at his back. 

Once Sokka had put away his letter, he returned to the common area to find Zuko sitting down, eyes unfocused. He sat across from him and took his hands to get his attention. Zuko’s hand felt cold in his grasp. 

“Maybe we won’t have to go back with her. If we do though… will we still be… us?” Sokka held his hands tightly, demanding that warmth seep back into them. “I know we’d have to be discreet, but will we still be together?” 

Zuko freed one hand to lift Sokka’s chin. “If that’s what you want, then of course, my dearest. I’m so sorry our little piece of the world is slipping away faster than we wanted.” He leaned in to kiss Sokka and smiled sadly. “That first night, you told me your spirit and soul were mine. Well, my soul, spirit, and heart are all yours. They always will be, no matter what.” 

“For as long as we have.” 

“And long after that,” Zuko said resolutely. 

Sokka shifted to sit beside him, and Zuko immediately leaned against him. They basked in the proximity, in the openness, aware once again at how quickly it could be taken from them. 

Some time later, they could hear footsteps, and the two of them stood, keeping their distance. 

The door opened and Azula stepped through, looking annoyed for a split second before she grinned at them. “Hello, Zuzu.” Her eyes looked Sokka up and down in distaste. “Southerner.” 

Zuko narrowed his eyes but spoke calmly. “Hi, Azula. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” 

She waved away the guard that had come with her, and she bowed respectfully before leaving. Azula shut the door and crossed her arms. “Father doesn’t trust Uncle to give him adequate reports. Besides, Zuzu, have you forgotten your own birthday? It’s coming up soon.” 

Sokka looked at Zuko in surprise. He vaguely recalled Iroh mentioning Zuko’s birthday when he first arrived, but no one had said anything about it. 

“Yes, I can easily celebrate it here.”

“Not this year,” she said with a grin. There was something wicked about it that made Sokka uneasy. “This year father will arrange a ceremony and everyone’s invited. After all, they need to greet their future Fire Lord. It’ll be a grand celebration just for you, Zuzu.”

It seemed too kind a gesture, especially from her. From Ozai. Sokka didn’t trust it, but he couldn’t figure out what the underlying scheme could be. 

“When must we go back?” Zuko asked. His voice had turned into that cold, sharp, monotonous voice Sokka hadn’t heard in a long time. He nearly reached for his hand before he thought better of it. 

“In a few days. Mai’s helping Father with the preparations.” Azula looked around and arched an eyebrow. “Where is Uncle anyway?” 

“He went to the market to get things for dinner. He should be returning shortly.” 

Azula hummed disinterestedly and went into the hallway. Once she was out of the room, Sokka looked Zuko in the eyes trying to gauge his current state. He tried to relay a worried question without saying anything. Based on the way his shoulders slouched and the soft exhale he released, Sokka could tell he was already tired. He could also tell Zuko was holding back just as much. 

Suddenly, the beach house didn’t feel like a getaway. If it was possible, it felt more suffocating than the palace. At least there they managed to stay far from Azula and Ozai’s line of sight. 

Zuko walked over to him and tilted his head toward the door. “Let’s go outside.” Sokka nodded and walked out after him. They sat next to each other on the steps, looking at the shrubbery in silence. 

“When’s your birthday?” 

“In about a week. It’s always a fortnight after the Lovers’ Festival. It’s never a big celebration, so I don’t make much of it.” He leaned back, resting his elbows on the next step up. “If everyone’s there, I won’t be able to go into the city without being recognized again.”

The idea of Zuko losing the bond he has with the people in the city made Sokka’s own heart ache. He wondered if that had been the plan all along. If Zuko could no longer leave the palace without a series of guards, then he’d be further isolated. The idea angered Sokka, but he had no proof, so he stayed quiet. 

They heard footsteps behind them, and Sokka turned to see Iroh stepping out with a cloth bag dangling from his elbow. “Gentlemen, what are you doing outside?” He frowned when he noticed both their expressions. “Is something wrong?” 

“Azula arrived a while ago. She’s staying until we go back for Zuko’s birthday.” Sokka stood up and walked toward Iroh to take the bag from him. “I’ll help with dinner.” 

Iroh didn’t say anything, but he looked back at Zuko for a moment before taking Sokka inside. While Sokka took out the vegetables and other items from the bag, Iroh kept glancing at him. He pretended not to notice. He knew what he was getting into when he kissed Zuko back, when he held him at night while they slept. Of course, he thought they would have more time to bask in oblivion and bliss, but in the end this was what their reality would entail. He might as well get used to it. 

He worked on cutting up pieces of meat into chunks, per Iroh’s directions. Zuko came back inside to watch, resting his head against his palm. At one point, Sokka glanced over at him to find Zuko’s eyes, not on the motions of his knife, but on him. He smiled, and his heart stuttered when Zuko smiled back with a fond look in his eyes. 

Once the food’s smell began to waft throughout the beach house, Azula came out to sit with them, and immediately, Sokka could feel the shift in tension. 

“If we’d known you could cook, we would’ve employed you in the kitchen,” Azula said. “Uncle, no greeting for your niece?” 

“I wasn’t even aware you were here. We weren’t expecting you,” Iroh said calmly. “How have you been, Azula?” 

Maybe Azula could see right through the facade, or maybe she didn’t think the question was worth answering. Whatever it was, she ignored the question and sat beside Zuko. “So how have you been spending your time on this painfully boring island?” 

“Aside from sword practice, we go to the beach, we look at old photos, tell stories, play pai sho, and stargaze. We went to the Lovers’ Festival too. If I’d know you were coming I would've gotten you something,” Zuko said. 

“I wouldn’t have wanted anything. It’s a stupid festival for a stupid story that Mother shoved onto us because of how upset she was with her life.” 

“ _ Azula!”  _

A small flicker spread along Zuko’s hand for a split second, and Azula grinned. “Still can’t control your own fire at your age, Zuzu? Not very promising for a future Fire Lord.” 

“Do not speak ill of our mother,” he said with a low growl. His head was down, his hands clenched into fists. Sokka froze where he was, watching him carefully. He wanted nothing more than to go to him, hold him, to grab his face and calm him down. “She was forced to marry someone she didn’t love. Anyone would be unhappy with that. But she loved us.” 

“She loved  _ you.  _ And she was weak, just like you. Our family has reigned for centuries, and yet it manages to come into  _ your  _ inept hands-” 

“That’s enough,” Iroh said with a sharp tone. 

Zuko and Azula stared at each other, one with a cruel smile and the other with a snarl. Eventually they turned away from each other to glare at different walls. Sokka stared at them both in confusion, watching as Zuko’s typically calm demeanor slipped away. His face was twisted into a scowl, his face crimson from the anger. 

“Eat,” Iroh said, setting a plate in front of Azula then making another to give Zuko. “It’ll calm you both down.” 

They both began to eat without sparing each other a glance. On the surface, it seemed like a familiar, childish spat between siblings, but Sokka felt the deep-rooted anger that simmered between them, knew their clashing past, and he knew it was far more than that. It was the source of the rift that had grown for years between them. Iroh handed Sokka a plate as well, and moved to Zuko’s side as he ate. 

It was painfully quiet as they ate. Sokka tried to stay close enough to relay all the touches he wanted to give Zuko without giving them to him. Only when Azula finished and moved away to put her plate up, did he risk touching his arm. Zuko’s golden eyes flickered to him, full of gratitude. 

“Sokka, I was wondering- what food do you miss from home? Maybe we could try making a version of it here,” Iroh said as he took their plates. 

Sokka shook his head and smiled. “I don’t think there’s a way to make Aunt Aisha’s seal jerky here. Besides I doubt she’d ever give me the recipe. She’s only told it to her wife because it’s a family recipe.” 

“Wait, what?” Zuko asked, freezing in a position between standing and sitting. 

“Honestly, they aren’t all that good, but you grow used to it.” 

Azula frowned as she stared at Sokka. “Her wife?” 

“Yes,” Sokka said, looking at them in turn. Zuko sat back down, and Azula’s face pinched. “What’s so confusing?” 

Iroh cleared his throat. “Sokka, are those kinds of relationships common in the South Pole?” 

“What kinds?” 

“Two women,” Zuko explained. “Two… two men. Aren’t there laws about it?” 

Before Sokka could ask what he meant by that, Azula scoffed and crossed her arms. “Of course southern savages wouldn’t have laws to maintain a proper civilization. It’s no wonder he said it so blatantly.” 

“My people are  _ not  _ savages,” Sokka said with a low voice. “I don’t understand what you’re asking. We have ceremonies for weddings, but-”

“No, no,” Zuko said. He reached out for a moment before pulling his hand back. “I…. Sokka relationships like… like  _ that  _ aren’t allowed in the Fire Nation. I thought it was a universal thing.” 

The explanation left Sokka feeling cold. He frowned and shook his head. “What do you mean ‘not allowed?’ You can’t tell someone they’re not allowed to feel a certain way, how do you think you control that?” 

“It was a law passed a long time ago,” Iroh said. “They aren’t allowed to marry or even display that kind of relationship in public. If they’re caught, they’re imprisoned.” 

“Or worse,” Azula said. “I remember Grandfather Azulon sent two women to a public execution when one of the women’s brothers reported them.” For once, Azula sounded… normal. She shared a look with Zuko as she added, “Mother barely managed to cover our eyes in time.” 

Just as quickly, she looked away, letting her expression turn disinterested. Zuko looked back at Sokka. 

Sokka could barely register much. He couldn’t fathom it. He couldn’t imagine being forbidden by law to be human. He couldn’t imagine Aunt Aisha and Aunt Mina being imprisoned or killed. 

Then he realized that if the wrong person had seen him with Zuko, they could be the ones in chains. It wasn’t the fact that Zuko was betrothed that kept them apart. What they were doing, what they felt, their relationship- it was  _ illegal.  _

“I… Excuse me,” he said as he tried to step away, to seek solace in the foreign room he’d been given here. 

“Sokka-” Zuko moved to help steady him, but Sokka moved away. “I’m sorry, I- I thought you knew,” he whispered helplessly. 

“I just need to lie down.” Sokka managed to put one foot in front of the other enough times to get to his room. In the safety of its confines, his body began to shake. Whether from rage, horror, fear, or impotence, he wasn’t sure. He couldn’t control his breaths, and he became lightheaded quickly. 

The longer Sokka was in the Fire Nation the more horrific it became. It was a nation that bragged about its innovations, about how advanced it was, how powerful it was, but it was the most backward place Sokka had ever known. It was a brutal, suffocating place, and Sokka wanted to get out of it. 

He looked at his bed and thought of the past few nights, falling asleep in the middle of whispers with Zuko, sleeping with him in his arms, waking to his touch. He thought of their kisses of the endearments. What was wrong about it? What part of that was so horrible that it deserved to be punished? 

“Sokka?” Zuko’s voice sounded muffled through the screen. “Sokka, please let me in.” He wanted to. But he couldn’t move. He couldn’t get his muscles to listen. “My dearest, dearest friend. Please.” 

With a sigh, Sokka stood up and slid the door open. Not wasting a second, Zuko stepped in and slid the door shut behind him, immediately cupping Sokka’s face with ice cold hands. “My dearest, Sokka, my beloved,” he said in a series of soft exhales interrupted by small, desperate kisses. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I thought you knew. I thought- I don’t know.” 

“This isn’t safe,” Sokka said with a broken voice, grabbing Zuko’s wrists, but unable to bring himself to pull his hands from his face. “I thought… I thought the betrothal was all… I thought-” 

“I know,” Zuko said, pressing their foreheads together. “I know that now, and I can’t… I can’t tell you how sorry I am.” His thumb brushed over Sokka’s cheekbone gently. “Do you want to end this? I never meant to put you in danger without you knowing what…. Spirits, help me.” He pulled away and tilted Sokka’s face toward him. “I won’t be angry. Just tell me so I might get one last kiss-” 

“Shut up,” Sokka breathed out. 

Zuko froze and stared at him in shock. 

“You absolute fool.” Sokka leaned forward to meet his lips. Zuko relaxed before returning the kiss. He could feel as his hands slowly turned hot against his face. As they pulled apart, Sokka wrapped his arms around him and clenched his hands. “I wish I could take you away,” he said, muffling himself in Zuko’s neck. “I knew there was danger in falling for you. I just thought it was for other reasons. But I’m yours. I’m yours no matter what.” 

“For as long as we have?” Zuko asked with a smile. 

“And long after that,” Sokka answered, echoing Zuko’s own words and meaning them with his entire spirit. He pushed Zuko’s hair behind his ear and stayed close enough that their noses brushed. 

Zuko let out a soft breath. “Is it okay if I still sleep here with you?” he asked. 

“Won’t Azula find out?” 

Zuko shook his head. “She always sleeps in when we’re at the beach house. You and I wake up early for practice.” 

“Then alright. I think I’ve grown too used to sleeping beside you to go back to sleeping alone anyway.” 

Zuko laughed and kissed his nose playfully, a gesture that left Sokka with warm cheeks and a pleased smile. “I’m going to tell Uncle you’re alright. I’ll sneak in here again when Azula goes to bed.” He tilted Sokka’s chin toward him and planted a kiss on his mouth. “I’ll see you soon, beloved.” 

“Beloved,” Sokka repeated, with a smile. “I’ll see you soon.”

Zuko nodded and pulled away to leave. As soon as he did, Sokka felt that heavy weight of the new reality he’d discovered settle on his chest. He turned away, anxious to write to Katara and tell her everything. If he was going to wait for Zuko to come back for the night, then he had time for a letter. 

He moved to the desk and pulled out a parchment and ink. He rubbed his face and sighed as he tapped his dry brush against his temple before dipping it in ink. 

_ Little sister,  _

_ You can tell Dad and Gran if you’d like. Preferably if it comes up. _

_ Today, the princess arrived on the island. The illusion of a perfect world to ourselves was never going to last, but I hadn’t expected it to end so quickly. She’s ruthless and cruel as ever, but I try to give her the benefit of doubt because I know how much Zuko cares about her. She is his sister after all. Even so, she knows how to test his patience.  _

_ Today I found out that the relationship Zuko and I have is considered a crime  _ ~~_ punishable by _ ~~ _ that Fire Nation citizens can be imprisoned for. This whole time, I thought I only had the horrible luck of falling for someone destined for someone else. In reality, even if Lady Mai wasn’t his betrothed, he and I could never be together publicly. Don’t worry too much (I feel like I’ve been telling you this all too often), I’ll be careful.  _

_ This discovery has left me unsettled and angry. The princess often calls us savages and the Fire Nation considers the South to be uncivilized, but in reality they are the savage ones with cruel laws and practices. I’m disgusted with this place the longer I’m here. Truly, I can’t believe that there isn’t a single person in the entire nation who might feel these things we do. Maybe they live in secret. After all, the royals can’t see them all. Maybe the cruelty only stems from the crown. Maybe Zuko could change this place.  _

_ Regardless, know that I miss you more and more every day. I miss the tribe, the cold, the food. The safety and love.  _

_ I know you, and I know how you’ll worry yourself over my wellbeing. Maybe that’s my fault for depending on you so much when we were growing up, even though you’re the younger one. I apologize for putting you in that position, and I hope that you trust me enough to know that I’ll be careful and smart.  _

_ Tell Gran and Dad that I love them and that I’m doing well.  _

_ With love,  _

_ Your intelligent and quick-witted big brother _


	13. About the Paradox of Autonomy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I'd like to apologize for posting this so late. I'm going to do my best to be better about time-management so I can stick to my schedule. 
> 
> Second, I really hope you all continue to enjoy this story, because I have a lot planned! Check the end notes for one more announcement, and be sure to follow me on IG (@phoenix_iwsnd) and/or Tumblr (@i-write-shakespeare-not-disney) for more announcements!
> 
> Lastly, thank you all for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, for the patience, and for the support!!!! 
> 
> Happy Reading!  
> -Phoenix

_ Sokka- _

_ I know you might not share this sentiment, but I am now counting the days until you can come home. I fear the Fire Nation will change you from now until your return. Isn’t it funny that we used to imagine growing up and travelling the world, desperate to see the magnificence of the Fire Nation? The more you tell me about it, the more grateful I am that our home is so secluded from others.  _

_ I’m so sorry that your happiness was shattered so quickly. I can’t help but think we should be more careful in the things we write to each other. Do you think they’d intercept our letters?  _

_ I suppose there is something beautiful in wanting to be someone so much that you’d stay at their side despite the danger. There is no hesitation, only the sense of being determined to hold on to some sort of hope in the midst of so much misery. That prince of yours is strong. And so are you.  _

_ The comment about depending on me was unexpected. I don’t hold anything against you. I know you also had to grow up faster, especially at times when Dad left for trading trips. We needed each other growing up. I’m your sister, and I’ll worry for you anyway. Just like I’ll be here to support you and for you to confide in.  _

_ Dad asked how you’ve been, and I guess I can’t be subtle because Gran knew just what to ask next. You said I could tell them if it came up, so they know now. Gran thinks it isn’t a good idea along with some other comments I won’t bother relaying. Dad is worried, but he wants you to be happy. We wait for your letters eagerly to be sure you’ve been okay. The kids have been asking about you too. _

_ Stay on your toes, big brother. We love you.  _

_ Sending lots of hugs to you and Zuko,  _

_ -Katara _

The ocean spray kept hitting the parchment, so Sokka folded it up and went to his cabin to put it up with the rest of his things. He figured Katara was right and they should probably encode their letters for safety’s sake. He didn’t think anyone intercepted the hawk once it was in the air, and he figured if anyone had, they would’ve already seen repercussions of it. 

A knock at his cabin door pulled him away from his thoughts. When he opened it, he saw Zuko with a solemn smile. 

“Is everything okay back home?” 

“Yes. Katara sends hugs again.” 

Zuko reached for his hand, and Sokka looked down the hallway to be sure no one was around. “The guards are all on deck, and I just saw Azula at the bow of the ship. It’s alright,” Zuko assured him. Still, he stepped through the door before touching Sokka’s face tenderly. “You don’t know how much it pains me to have our little paradise taken from us so quickly. I see you fold into yourself when Azula’s around. The last few days, you’ve been….” 

“I know. I know, and it’s not your fault and it’s not me trying to end what we have, I promise.” Sokka pulled Zuko’s hand from his face and kissed it. “It's still hard for me to wrap my head around the way your nation thinks. And Azula….” Sokka sighed and shook his head. “I know she’s your sister, but she’s nothing like you. I feel safe with you. I feel…  _ afraid  _ with her.” 

“I’d never let her hurt you. I swear it,” Zuko whispered, pressing his forehead against Sokka’s. 

Without a proper response, Sokka only leaned forward and kissed him softly. It was a moment of reassurance. A moment of peace. 

Zuko’s teeth grazed his lip and bit hesitantly before grabbing a hold of Sokka’s face and pulling him closer. Sokka gasped and let Zuko’s tongue explore his mouth, unable to conceal the way it made his legs weak. Sokka opened his eyes, checking that the door was shut for the sake of his peace of mind before he pushed Zuko against it, returning the kiss with the same amount of fervor. 

Despite the nights they spent in each other’s arms, their kisses had never turned into this. This reckless, needy kind of thing where it wasn’t enough to be pressed together, where their lack of synchrony was only further proof of their comfort and desire. Sokka moved without thinking, urged on only by the uncontrolled gasps falling from Zuko’s lips. He wasn’t wrapped up in his head, he only knew he wanted to adore every part of Zuko. 

His mouth fell to the side of Zuko’s neck while his hands gripped fistfuls of his long hair. He hadn’t been able to hold or touch Zuko since that morning when they left. Now he needed to make the most of their privacy. 

As Sokka bit down on the curve between his neck and shoulder, Zuko let out a breathy laugh. “If you’re going to leave evidence, at least do it where it won’t show, beloved.” 

Sokka looked up in confusion then promptly swallowed his question with wide eyes as Zuko lifted his thin shirt up to his chest. He’d once taken in Zuko’s physique with envy. Now he marvelled at it in wonder, like it was a gift to him specifically. He eagerly pulled Zuko up into his arms, lifting him with ease by his legs so his chest was level with his mouth. 

“Oh!  _ Oh!”  _ Zuko laughed and leaned his weight against the door, one hand undoing Sokka’s wolf’s tail and the other gripping his shoulder while Sokka lavished his chest in desperate, eager kisses. “This is a very pleasant surprise.” He pulled Sokka’s head back, and leaned down to meet his lips. 

It was too easy to ignore sensibility, especially with Zuko’s tongue tracing his lips, his burning hands at the sides of his neck, and his legs tightly wrapped around him. Sokka grinned and felt his cheeks redden. “Zuko, my dearest, you make it impossible to think clearly.” He let one hand come up to his chest, lightly running his fingers down to his belly button, watching the way his skin prickled with each breath he took. “But I promised my sister I’d be careful, and this is dangerous.” 

“Being with me?” The question was soft, spoken like a joke, but Sokka knew Zuko better than that. 

He shook his head, slowly putting Zuko down again. “No. Getting carried away on a ship full of Fire Nation guards and your sister. I just need a moment to compose myself.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” Zuko whispered, pressing soft kisses to the corner of Sokka’s mouth. Zuko raked his fingers through Sokka’s hair, making him hum and lean into the touch. He nuzzled his nose against Sokka’s cheek playfully. “My dearest Sokka….” 

No matter how many times Sokka heard him say it, it never failed to send his heart into a frenzy. He wrapped his arms around Zuko’s torso, huddling closer to him because he didn’t know what else he could possibly do to express the adoration he felt in his chest. He just wanted to be close. He just wanted to hold him. 

Those were things he was free to do on the island. For those few blissful days of isolation, he’d been able to indulge every little desire. When they got off the ship, they would have to suppress it all. 

Not only that, but if Lady Mai was going to be at the palace, then Sokka would have to watch them fake a relationship for everyone else right in front of him. How was he supposed to handle that? 

“Zuko? Does Lady Mai know… what we are now?” 

“She knows what I feel for you. I haven’t had a chance to tell her anything’s happened. I’d send a letter, but I think she deserves better than that.” 

Sokka nodded and lifted his head. “And when we return…. You’ll have to pretend to be in love with her. Where does that leave me?” 

“Mai and I have never been very intimate in public. Not past holding hands or a kiss on the cheek.” Zuko’s hand moved to cup his cheek. “I swear to you I wouldn’t do anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary for our cover. For both your sake and Mai’s.” He pulled his hand away, lowering his gaze. “Of course, I understand if you want to step away. Just… say you don’t feel well and you can go. Then I’ll come to you when no one’s eyes are on us.” 

The entire thing felt exhausting, and they hadn’t even begun to put up a proper farce. Sokka remembered the way he felt when he saw Lady Mai kiss Zuko. The way the feeling burned him up inside…. Would he react the same way seeing her at Zuko’s arm, even if the three of them knew the truth? 

“Sokka….” Slowly, Sokka met Zuko’s eyes. The anguished look in his golden eyes pierced right through him. “You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to agree.” 

It was unspoken, but Sokka knew what he meant. It was a reminder that they could end what they had if it became too painful. Although, that wasn’t exactly an option- not to Sokka. He could endure it all for him, for those moments of quiet and gentle touches when they were alone and free to be honest with each other. 

“It’s alright, my dearest,” Sokka reassured. He made sure Zuko could hear the unwavering promise in his voice. “For as long as we have and long after that, right?”

Zuko smiled and nodded resolutely. He kissed Sokka softly and took a deep breath. “Let’s go spend some time on deck. We’ll have plenty of time to be in a stuffy room back at the palace.” Sokka followed him out, letting their hands drop once the door was open. “I believe we’ll be arriving soon,” Zuko said as they walked to the deck. 

Azula was watching the waves, eyes narrowed as if they’d wronged her somehow. Sokka noticed the way worry pinched at Zuko’s expression as he walked up to her. 

“Is everything okay?” 

Azula’s glare shifted to Zuko, quickly clearing to make way for a smug smile. It seemed more like an attempt to feign control than a genuine taunt. “I’ve been debating throwing that useless captain overboard. I was thinking that we should announce you and Mai’s engagement at your party.” 

“Why?” Zuko asked. 

“We’re announcing their future Fire Lord. Why not their future Fire Lady?” 

“Has the Fire Nation ever had a woman as Fire Lord?” 

Sokka’s interruption had Azula looking at him like a nuisance. “They could have,” she said with an edge to her voice. “But none yet.” She turned back to Zuko and grinned. “Well then, Zuzu?” 

“My trials are still several moon cycles away. Why all the celebrations now?” 

“What, do you think you won’t succeed, big brother?” The question made it clear that Azula didn’t think he would. Zuko, however, only pressed his lips together tightly. “I suppose it would be embarrassing to celebrate such a hopeful future for you only for you to throw it all away by then. But you’ve been practicing and studying, so there’s nothing to worry about, right, Zuzu?” She arched an eyebrow, but didn’t wait for a response. Instead she walked away, making her way to the captain. 

With her out of earshot, Sokka let out a frustrated groan. “She expects you to fail,” he told Zuko. “Her kindness isn’t even kindness.” 

“That’s typical of Azula. I’ve gotten used to it.” Zuko leaned against the ship’s railing, leaning forward and shutting his eyes as the seaspray hit his face. 

Sokka watched him for a moment before looking out at the sea. In the distance, he could see the shape of the palace. Together, they watched as it grew larger the closer they got. Zuko stepped away once he was able to pick out the individual people walking around, and Sokka followed him wordlessly. 

This time when they got off the ship, they were ushered into a carriage, and the royal guard surrounded them as they made their way to the palace. Sokka looked out through the mesh veil and saw the way the Fire Nation citizens avoided the guards. They were careful to stay out of their way, and on occasion, they would look over their shoulders, casting bitter glares at the carriage. 

He understood why Zuko preferred anonymity. The people seemed to hate the royal family. Sokka knew very little about the Fire Nation’s history outside of the basics in the scrolls he studied at home and the bits that Zuko told him or the things he’d overhear Iroh teaching Zuko about. Even with the little he knew, he understood the anger and the rage. 

When he looked at Zuko, he noticed the hard set of his jaw, the blank expression on his face as he stared ahead at the opposite seat with one hand absent-mindedly touching his scar. Sokka longed to take his hand or kiss his cheek, but he refrained. He looked at Azula, unsurprised to see the bored expression on her face as she examined her nails for a brief moment before she called for a faster speed. Iroh also seemed to be watching Zuko carefully. 

One they were within the walls of the palace, the carriage came to a stop and a guard opened the side door. 

“Finally,” Azula said as she stepped out. “Let’s go, Zuzu, Father shouldn’t be kept waiting.” 

They left the carriage and followed Azula to the throne room. Sokka clenched his fists at his sides to make sure he didn’t reach for Zuko. 

As they walked into the throne room, Ozai stood and walked down the steps to meet them. At the sight of him, Sokka felt a burning rage roll through his body. Images of him hurting Zuko flashed in his mind, convoluted by the worst thing he imagined and the things Zuko had told him. 

“I trust your time away was productive, Zuko?” the FIre Lord asked, tilting his head as he briefly glanced at Sokka before turning his attention back to the son he’d disfigured. 

Sokka thought of the kisses on the balcony, the kisses in the ocean, the whispers at night. He held back a satisfied smile. Productive indeed. 

“Yes, Father,” Zuko said. 

“Your betrothed has been busy making preparations for your celebration,” Ozai said. “I’ve just sent for her.” He looked at Azula. “Your other friend arrived a couple days ago too. She’s rather… excitable.” 

Azula’s eyes narrowed, but she didn’t respond. A moment later, the doors opened again and they turned to see Lady Mai being escorted in by two guards. 

She walked straight into Zuko’s arms and hugged him. “I’ve missed you,” she said with her soft, raspy voice. She pulled away with a very faint smile, letting her hands linger at his face in a way that made Sokka have to look away. He caught Iroh watching him and tried to compose himself. Meanwhile Lady Mai moved away from Zuko to bow respectfully at the others. She looked at Sokka, and for a moment, her measured expression looked fragile. Even so, she smiled and walked toward him. “How are you, Sokka? It’s good to see you again.” 

Sokka realized with a start that it was the first time he’d been properly greeted by someone who wasn’t Zuko or Iroh. He smiled and nodded. “I’m doing as well as I can. How are you, Lady Mai?” 

“It’s been busy,” she said. She looked back at Zuko and hooked her arm with his. “I have to catch you up.” 

“Of course,” Zuko said. “Let’s walk in the garden.” 

“I have things of my own to do. I’ll meet with you later, Mai. Father, a word?” Azula said. Ozai nodded and the two of them walked up the steps to the throne again. 

“I’m going to see if I can get some of those dumplings you like, Prince Zuko,” Iroh said. “We can all sit to have some tea later tonight once everything’s settled.”

“Thank you, Uncle,” Zuko said. He turned to Sokka with a gentle smile, similar to the ones he gave Sokka before falling asleep in his arms. “My dear friend, will you be joining us in the garden?” 

“If you don’t mind,” Sokka said, unsure of how welcomed his presence would be. Zuko gave Lady Mai a questioning look, and she only answered with a nod. “I’ll just put my things in my room, and I’ll meet you both there.” 

Sokka excused himself and went to the carriage to grab his belongings and walked the familiar path to his room. Despite the paintings on the wall and the little items he’d gotten to help it feel more like his own, it felt foreign. It was a temporary room in a place that only became stranger the longer he was there. With all the changes that came from their time on the island, the palace only managed to feel more distant. 

He left his things and moved to open the balcony doors so the room wouldn’t smell so stale. Outside, the sun was beginning to set already.

He didn’t see anyone in the eastern garden that his balcony overlooked, so he figured Zuko and Lady Mai were at the one with the duck pond. 

As he expected, he found them standing under the shade of the tree near the pond. Zuko was holding Mai’s hands, his head bowed as he spoke. Sokka walked toward them uncertainly, forcing the bitter feeling in his chest to subside. 

Lady Mai caught the movement and pulled her hands away. Zuko looked at Sokka with a solemn smile as he gestured for him to join. As Sokka walked up to them, Lady Mai’s gaze fell on him, somber and measured. “Forgive me if I don’t know how to react,” she said. “I’m still… struggling to be… well, to be okay.” 

“I know it’s a lot to ask of you,” Zuko said. “I don’t want to hurt you, so-”

“Zuko, please,” she interrupted. She stepped closer to him and put a hand to his cheek. “Before anything, you are my  _ friend. _ If anyone found out….” She shook her head. “We’ll pretend for the sake of your safety. You have so many challenges ahead and breaking our engagement can’t be another right now. However….” She turned her attention to Sokka. “I don’t want to cause problems either. You do know what pretending entails, Sokka?” 

He nodded and sighed. “I do. It’ll take getting used to, but I understand. And, Lady Mai-” 

“Call me Mai, please. Lady Mai is too formal.” 

“Mai,” Sokka amended. “I’m sorry for all of this. It was never my intention-” 

“I know,” she said. “The heart never plans these things. If I could ask one thing, though….” She shut her eyes and let out a soft breath. “I’m not ready to handle seeing affection between you. Not yet. The heartache is still rather fresh.” 

The request surprised Sokka, but he nodded. “Of course.”

The corner of Mai’s mouth twitched slightly before she turned away from them to sit near the pond. Sokka turned to Zuko for a clue about what to do next and followed his lead when he moved to sit with her. 

“Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to plan things like this with Ty Lee?” 

“I can only imagine,” Zuko said a fond smile. 

“Where is she? I hear a lot about her but I’ve never had a chance to meet her,” Sokka said. 

“In her guest room, but she’ll be at dinner today. She wanted to cleanse her aura before seeing Azula again.” Mai said it so flatly, that Sokka wasn’t sure if she was being serious or sarcastic. 

Zuko frowned. “She’s still upset about their argument at the beach?” 

Mai nodded and pinched the bridge of her nose. “We’re well past adolescence, we don’t have times for games like that. I told them both I wouldn’t be in the middle of it.” She sighed and stood up. “I’m going to wash up before dinner. I’ll see you both later.” 

“We’ll walk with you,” Zuko offered. 

Sokka raised an eyebrow, certain that Mai wanted to be alone. Still, he followed them inside and up the stairs as they reached the guest room where Mai was staying. She thanked them and went inside, leaving the two of them in the hallway. 

“Will you accompany me to my room, my dearest friend?” Zuko asked as they turned to walk down the hall. 

A smile and a shared look was enough of an answer. They walked through the hallways, careful to keep their composure whenever they came across any guards. Once they reached the room, Zuko was quick to pull him inside, quickly making sure the room was empty before grabbing Sokka’s face and kissing him deeply. 

“This is so much harder now,” Zuko whispered. “It’s agony to hold back from you.” 

"Then we should make the most of our privacy." 

Zuko responded with a wide smile, his eyes falling to Sokka's lips before he kissed him again. Warm hands pressed against Sokka’s back, pulling him in as Zuko stepped back. He fell into a chair, bringing Sokka down with him. Zuko laughed playfully at the surprised sound that fell from Sokka’s lips when he found himself seated in his lap. 

He looked down at Zuko with a smile, taking a moment to enjoy the quiet, the privacy. Suddenly, Zuko dipped his head, pressing his forehead to Sokka’s chest. “Don’t look at me that way.” 

“What way?” Sokka cradled his head, running his fingers through his long locks of hair. “I’ve spent all day trying to avoid getting caught looking at you. I’d like to embrace this chance as fully as possible.” With a muffled grunt, Zuko shook his head and wrapped his arms around him tighter. Sokka tilted his face back up, furrowing his eyebrows. “I could look at you forever, you know?” 

Zuko arched his eyebrow, looking away briefly as his cheeks turned crimson. “Is that so?” his hand came up to Sokka’s, overlapping where it rested on his left cheek. But Sokka caught the way he subtly pulled his hand down from the places where it touched his scar. 

“Yes,” he answered vehemently. He pulled his hand free from Zuko’s letting his fingers hover over the scar. “Zuko, my dearest,” he whispered. “Every aspect of you is exquisite.” He kissed the charred skin softly before pressing his forehead against Zuko’s. “You never deserved to suffer the pain that scar gave you, but it’s part of you. It’s part of the man I’ve given my heart to. You don’t need to shield it from me.” 

Without another word, Zuko kissed Sokka’s bottom lip timidly, tilting his head further to invite him closer. Sokka met his lips without hesitation. 

“My beloved,” Zuko murmured, kissing his neck softly. “When I’m with you, I feel peace. I feel like I’m home.” 

“Peace?” Sokka repeated with a laugh. “Our relationship could get us killed. The last thing I’m giving you is peace.” He tilted Zuko’s chin toward him. “A home, however… I’d like to be your home.” He kissed him again, sliding his hands down his arms until he could intertwine their hands. “Someone to let your guard down with. Someone you always come back to.” 

Zuko grinned against Sokka’s mouth. “Like your boomerang then?” 

“I can be the home to your boomerang,” Sokka said with a laugh. Zuko shook his head, and muttered something about feeble poetics before kissing him again. 

With uninterrupted time, they were able to explore each other’s mouths with ease, unafraid to be found or heard. No one came looking for Zuko and the guards didn’t necessarily listen for the playful laughs and parting mouths of two young men within a royal’s room. 

It wasn’t until they heard the dinner call that they parted from each other’s embrace. “Your mouth is red,” Sokka noted, swiping his thumb along Zuko’s lower lip. 

“It’s your stubble,” he answered. “Which I very much enjoy, I should add.” Sokka smiled proudly and Zuko nudged him toward the door. “Come on then. Let’s get this dreaded dinner over with. If it gets to be overwhelming, just remember you’ll have me in your arms tonight.” 

They left the room, and Sokka tried to suppress his smile at Zuko’s promise. 

When they reached the dining room, Mai and another girl were already seated beside each other. Zuko sat across from Mai and Sokka sat across from the girl with wide eyes and a large smile. 

“You must be Ty Lee,” he said. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“And you’re the swordsman from the Southern Water Tribe,” she said. Her voice was light and bubbly, reminding Sokka of a child. “You’re far more handsome than I imagined. Nice to meet you! And Zuko, you’re going to love your party.” 

“I’m sure I will,” Zuko said with a tense smile. “This is Sokka, by the way.” 

Before Ty Lee could respond, the dining hall door opened again and Ozai walked in. The others around the table stood, and Sokka followed suit, keeping his fists clenched at his sides and his eyes steady on the table. 

Once he sat, so did the rest of them. Azula came in last, sitting on the other side of Mai without a word. As usual, the dinner felt awkward and quiet. Even Ty Lee seemed to suppress herself within the Fire Lord’s presence. 

As he ate, Sokka thought of Zuko’s quiet shame for his scar. He thought of what he must have looked like as a child, crying over the injury his own father gave him. How could that man look at Zuko at all knowing he’d marred him permanently? How could he look himself in the mirror? It made Sokka’s hands shake, especially with the man only a few chairs away from him. 

Beneath the table, Zuko’s foot nudged his own, snapping him out of his own thoughts. “My dear friend, are you alright?” Zuko asked softly. 

Sokka stared at the food he’d half-eaten and managed a single nod. “I’m not very hungry.” He put his hands in his lap and turned to Zuko who looked at him with deep concern in his eyes. “It’s fine, really.” 

Zuko frowned, well aware that Sokka wasn’t fine, but they both knew it wasn’t the place for a proper conversation. “Well, I’m finished. Uncle didn’t come to eat, so I was going to take him some food. Will you come with me?” 

“Can I go too? I haven’t seen Iroh in so long. Beside I’d like to get to know this handsome little snow soldier I can finally put a face to,” Ty Lee said.

“None of you have even been dismissed,” Azula said sharply. “Where is your respect for the Fire Lord?” 

Mai sighed and shook her head. She stood up and bowed respectfully toward Ozai. “Thank you for the dinner, Fire Lord Ozai. If it’s alright with you, we’d like to be dismissed.” 

Ozai grinned. “How proper. Mai, you prove every day that you are worthy of becoming the next Fire Lady.” Mai bowed again, but didn’t respond. “You’re dismissed. And be sure these little outbursts don’t happen again.” 

Sokka narrowed his eyes, but kept himself still. Ty Lee and Zuko bowed, but Sokka found that he had no interest in showing any respect for such a despicable man. After all, Ozai was not  _ his  _ Fire Lord.

If he noticed, he didn’t show it. He let the group leave without another word in their direction. 

The four of them left the dining room, and Zuko asked one of the attending servants for an extra tray of food. Once he had the tray, they walked to Iroh’s room, with Ty Lee at Zuko’s side to explain all the plans she had for the festivities. Her tinkling voice reverberated softly in the corridors as they walked. Sokka let them walk ahead as he fell back to walk beside Mai. 

“Can I ask you something?” Mai arched an eyebrow, her expression measured as always. “Why aren’t you angry with me? With him?” 

“I was for a bit when he first told me. I felt like I’d been lied to, but…. I also know Zuko. While he can be dense about how to do things, he never would’ve intentionally hurt me. I know he was only trying to do what’s right, what’s expected of him. He didn’t plan for you to come along.” She sighed and let her gaze fall to the floor in front of them. “I also know you didn’t come with the intention of taking him from me. Besides, how could you take him if he was never mine?” 

“When did he tell you?” 

“I figured it out,” she said with the slightest twitch of her lips. “I’ve known Zuko since we were children. I’ve loved him for years.” Her tawny eyes shifted to look at Sokka, glistening, but not quite teary. “He’s never looked at me the way he looked at that letter you sent him. He dropped everything to read every page when he received it. When he talked about you….” She shrugged. “I knew there was more to it. I asked him, and he was honest with me. I suppose that’s another reason I can’t bring myself to be as angry as I’d like to be.”

“He does love you,” Sokka whispered. “I can tell by the way he talks about you.” 

“Maybe,” she said. “But it isn’t the way I love him. It isn’t the way I want.” She looked at him again, her eyes piercing through him despite the flat expression on her face. “It isn’t the way he loves you.” 

Sokka didn’t know what to say to that. He gulped and turned to look ahead where Zuko was knocking on Iroh’s door. As he and Mai approached, the door opened and Iroh smiled as he greeted the girls. Zuko gave him his dinner. 

“You missed an eventful dinner,” Ty Lee said playfully. “Fire Lord Ozai did a backflip.” 

“If only,” Iroh said with a laugh. “Thank you for bringing me dinner. But you should all be getting to bed. The sun set long ago, and it will rise earlier. You have training and classes to resume, Prince Zuko.” 

“I know, Uncle. I just had to be sure you ate something. Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight. I’ll see you all tomorrow. Rest well.” 

Ty Lee waved, and Mai moved to grab her arm. “Let’s go. Our rooms aren’t too far from here. With how jittery you are, I assume you’re going to talk my ear off before you go to bed.”

“Oh, I wanted to get to know the southerner,” Ty Lee said with a pout. “Anyway, we’ll have our time. Goodnight, both of you!” She walked over and hugged Zuko then kissed Sokka’s cheek. “Sleep well!” 

As they walked down the hallway, Zuko and Sokka turned back the way they came. “Ty Lee seems to like you quite a bit,” Zuko said. 

“Is that a hint of jealousy I hear?” Sokka asked with a sideways smile. It grew into a full smile when Zuko narrowed his eyes. “Oh, my dearest,” he said in a whisper. “Just remember you’ll be in my arms tonight.” 

“Is that so?” Zuko challenged. Sokka laughed and followed him back to his room. They walked in after checking to be sure that the guards weren’t anywhere near. Zuko pulled Sokka in and kissed him softly. “Would you like to explain what happened at dinner?” 

Sokka frowned and shut his eyes. “I just can’t stand to see your father. Not knowing what he did to you, how he hurt you.” 

“Oh my beloved,” Zuko whispered. He pressed a soft kiss to Sokka’s forehead. “Let’s go to bed.” 

“Right. First… could I borrow some of your parchment and brushes? I need to write back to Katara. I don’t want to worry her by not responding in time.” 

Zuko nodded and moved to the long desk he had up against one of the walls. “Of course. Here’s everything you need. I’m going to settle into bed. Come join me when you’re done.” He kissed Sokka’s cheek and turned away. Meanwhile, Sokka sat down to set up and begin his letter. 

_ Dear Little Snow Rat,  _

_ I’m back at the palace. It doesn’t feel quite as suffocating as usual, which is a bit strange. Everyone is preparing for Zuko’s ceremony in a few days, and the planning has been left to his betrothed and another friend of theirs. _

_ You must be wondering how it all works being here with Zuko’s betrothed in light of all the changes of the past few weeks. Don’t worry, we aren’t going behind her back. She knows everything. It seems she knew well before I did about… the things Zuko felt. (I’ve taken into consideration your concern of our letters being found by the wrong person, and while I don’t think anyone has reason to intercept my letters, I will be more cautious for your peace of mind. And my own.)  _

_ All things considered, Mai is a very kind person. She’s a good friend to Zuko, and she wants to keep him safe as much as I do. I imagine it will all take extensive communication, but overall she seems to be the only other high-born person who treats me like an existing human.  _

_ At the time, everything feels like it’s settling. It feels manageable now, but I’m not sure how long I can live with the fact that within a year, she will be the one sleeping at his side, regardless of… well, everything.  _

_ Send the kids hugs for me, and let Gran and Dad know that I’m being careful. How are things back home? I know it can get monotonous, but in light of the chaos here, I miss it. How has the long night affected everyone? How has it affected you?  _

_ All my love for the entire tribe,  _

_ Sokka the Wolftail Warrior _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LIVESTREAM ANNOUNCEMENT: 
> 
> In the past I've done livestreams to talk with readers about my story. I'd love to do that with this one too. I talk about the process of writing, the brainstorming chaos, and even about original plot lines that ended up getting scrapped. It's also like a Q & A session if you have any burning questions for me. (Sometimes I also give small spoilers!) 
> 
> Originally I wanted to do it on Sunday, but I know that's very late notice since I didn't post Friday. I'm thinking to do it Monday around 5pm central time, but I'd love to know when readers are available. So be sure to try and send your thoughts about that in the comments, in a Tumblr ask, or under one of my IG posts. 
> 
> If I do go live it'll be on Twitch.tv and my username is aphoenixrising98
> 
> Thank you all for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, and for the support!!!!


	14. About the Inevitable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU GUYS SO SO MUCH FOR READING!!!   
> If you missed the livestream, both parts are available on my IG under IGTV! (@phoenix_iwsnd)
> 
> This one's a bit longer, but I figure that makes up for how late I was last time. 
> 
> All of your comments are appreciated like you wouldn't believe <3

_ To the Esteemed Mr. Puffin-Seal,  _

_ Rest assured, the long night hasn’t caused much out of the ordinary. I still think about Mom, but I try to keep busy. I think it helps to look forward to your letters as a distraction.  _

_ Are you sure Mai is trustworthy? It can be dangerous for anyone to know everything…. Though it eases my worries to know there is another decent person in that palace.  _

_ I know you’re smart, and I know you’re doing your best to be careful about this relationship, but I know you, Sokka. You wear your heart on your sleeve. I’m not sure how Mai managed to figure everything out- for all I know the two of you might have sat her down to talk. Still, I can’t help but worry that the way you express your emotions so outwardly might put you at some sort of risk.  _

_ As for your worries about the future, the best consolation I can offer is that you should make the most of the present time. Live these moments to the fullest so the memories can last you forever. Hold on to every sweet moment you can. The future can wait.  _

_ Stay safe and enjoy the festivities! _

_ With love,  _

_ Katara _

Sokka frowned as he reread the letter. Suddenly, he felt an arm loop around his middle and something warm pressed against his lower back. 

“I thought you’d left,” Zuko whispered sleepily. “I woke up and you weren’t here.” 

“When did you wake up? I only got up to grab the letter from my hawk.” Sokka stood to put the letter on Zuko’s desk before returning to the bed and laying down beside him. “And why would I leave you to wake up alone on the morning of your birthday?” 

A soft sigh escaped Zuko’s lips as he shifted to rest his head on Sokka’s chest. “I know yesterday was difficult.” 

The reminder made Sokka wince. Since their arrival, Ty Lee had taken to constantly hanging off Sokka’s arm. She was sweet, and Sokka knew most of her flirtatious comments were playful, so he didn’t mind them. It wasn’t until she’d gone from the topic of Zuko’s birthday celebration to his and Mai’s future wedding celebration that Sokka began to get uncomfortable. Despite Mai’s insistence on changing the subject and tackling things one at a time, Ty Lee divulged in memories of their childhood, apparently unable to note the discomfort it brought them. 

The only positive thing was that Azula seemed to be avoiding Ty Lee and by having Ty Lee near, it meant Azula stayed away. Inevitably, Mai turned stoic and excused herself with the excuse of fatigue.

“It won’t be the biggest difficulty we face, I imagine,” Sokka said. He scratched Zuko’s scalp leisurely. “Happy birthday, my dearest.” 

Zuko lifted himself so he could look at Sokka and kissed him softly. “What a way to begin the day.” 

A knock at the door made them tense for a moment before they hurried to get out of the bed. “Zuko, are you awake? Azula’s looking for you.” 

Mai’s muffled voice sent a wave of relief through Sokka’s body. He looked over at Zuko to see the same relief wash over him as his shoulder dropped. As he passed by Sokka to get to the door, his fingers brushed lightly against his arm. 

As Zuko opened the door, Sokka busied himself by putting his hair up into his wolf tail. 

“Your sister wants-” Mai broke off when she noticed Sokka. There was a slight twitch of her eyebrows before she composed her expression into that blank slate Sokka could never figure out. “Oh. Good morning.” Sokka smiled back, feeling guilt creep under his skin. “Zuko, Azula wanted you to approve the final spread for the banquet tonight. She’s in the dining hall.”

“Right, I’ll be there in a bit. Thank you.” 

Mai nodded and turned to walk away, but thought better of it and walked right into the room, shutting the door behind her. 

Her eyes narrowed as she let her gaze flicker between the two of them. “You both realize there are guards patrolling these halls, don’t you? That anyone could come up to find you without knocking or at a time where it might be suspicious for you to be here, Sokka?” Her voice remained quiet, but its sharpness conveyed the frustration that she otherwise hid. “I just….” Mai shut her eyes and took a breath. “It may not be Ozai or Azula watching you, but the guards talk and rumors spread. If not for your own safety, could you be more careful for the sake of my dignity? The last thing I need is for guards to laugh behind my back and think me an oblivious fool.” 

Sokka felt his cheeks burn in shame. “Of course,” he said. “I’m sorry. Nothing happened-” 

Mai shook her head. “I don’t…. That’s not my business,” she said in a softer tone. One that seeped with a quiet hurt she must have been trying to hide. “Just… be careful.” With that, she left the room, leaving them alone. 

Slowly, Zuko sat down on the edge of the bed. Sokka moved to sit beside him, watching him carefully. “Did you know that I know every guard by name?” Zuko said suddenly. “And every kitchen worker. The healers, too.” He lifted his head and took a deep breath. “Even so, no matter how much I’ve tried in the past to make conversation with them, I can tell they just want to get away. To do their job and nothing more. I’m not sure if they would turn us in if they caught on, but….” He shook his head and stood up to go to his wardrobe. “Nights are the most peaceful times I have with you. I don’t want to give them away.” 

Sokka stood to join him, pushing his long hair over one shoulder so he could press his cheek against the nape of his neck. He wrapped his arms around his torso and squeezed gently. “I know. It’s just for now. While the palace is so focused on these celebrations. Once it’s over, we’ll have our privacy again. The guards change shifts halfway through the night. They don’t know if I simply leave you late or if you call me to you earlier.” Zuko didn’t respond. “If all else fails, I can climb and down from the balcony,” Sokka said lightly, trying to pull a laugh from Zuko, who seemed to be getting colder with each passing moment. 

“I should go see Azula,” he said. He turned to face Sokka, cupping his face with a frigid touch. “I’ll meet you in the training room for our sparring session? Maybe we can get dumplings after one last time.” 

Sokka smiled and nodded, kissing his cheek. “Of course. I’ll leave so you can get dressed.” 

As he turned to walk away, he felt Zuko’s hand grip his wrist and pull him back. The question at the tip of Sokka’s tongue disappeared when he felt his back hit the wardrobe. Zuko pressed up against him, pulling him into a rough, desperate kiss.

While they’d shared hungry kisses like this before, they weren’t a common occurrence, and it managed to leave Sokka breathless and panting in seconds. His immediate response was to reciprocate with equal fervor. He pulled Zuko nearer, as if there were any space between them left to get rid of. He swallowed every single one of Zuko’s soft gasps. Through the thin material of his shirt, Sokka could feel the way Zuko’s hands heated up until they seared along his back. 

In fact, all around him, heat had begun to sweep over him- through Zuko’s hands, through the press of his body, through his breath. But Sokka didn’t mind it. Not in light of how cold he’d been moments earlier. 

Zuko pulled back, breathing shakily. It might have been a figment of Sokka’s imagination, something materialized out of the haze currently occupying his brain, but it looked like something wispy curled out of Zuko’s mouth. 

“I’m not complaining, but… what was that for?” Sokka asked once his mind cleared. 

Pressing his forehead against Sokka’s, Zuko whispered, “I’m allowed to want you.” He looked at Sokka with tired eyes. “Right?” 

Sokka supposed it depended on who was asked. At that moment, though, Zuko was asking him. “Yes.” He let their noses brush together and smiled. “I should go. I’ll see you in the training room.” Sokka left the room and walked down the hallway. The guard standing at the end looked briefly in his direction, apparently not deeming him very interesting before resuming her pacing.

Sokka made his way back to his room to change and to put away Katara’s letter for the time being. When he went out to his balcony, he saw a series of servants setting up banners and decorations with Ty Lee in the center directing all of it. If Sokka leaned over, he could see the front stairs where Zuko would be presented. 

“Looks like you’re having fun,” Sokka called out. 

Ty Lee turned, looking for the source, and gave him a bright smile as she waved. “Hey, Snow Soldier!” 

“Give me a good seat, okay? I want a good view of it all.” 

She cupped her hands to yell back, “I’ll put you right next to me, handsome!” 

Sokka shook his head, but he doubted she could decipher the exasperated smile on his face. Not that it mattered anyway, seeing as she had already turned away to refocus on the decorations. Sokka had become fond of Ty Lee’s playful and enthusiastic energy. It was refreshing to be around in the last few days. The fact that Azula tended to stay away from them when she was around was only a fortunate advantage. 

All of the planning and decorations left Sokka with an uneasy feeling in his core. It didn’t make sense to him that Azula and Ozai would put so much into someone they rarely even acknowledged otherwise. In the end the two didn’t really do anything except decide to throw a city-wide celebration. The planning and execution of it all had fallen to Mai and Ty Lee, and Sokka at least understood why  _ they  _ were invested. 

Shaking away the worry, he grabbed his sword and went to the training room. He wasn't sure how long it would take for Zuko to return to him, but that only meant he had more time to warm up. 

He’d managed to lose himself in the routine and muscle memory until he heard the door to the training room open. 

He turned to see Zuko with a bowl in his hands. “How did it go?” 

“Fine. Azula made things difficult with the chef, but that was to be expected.” He held out the bowl. “I brought you some food. Last time we practiced without eating, you tired out quickly. It’s the sweet fruit you like.” 

Sokka smiled and walked over to him to take the bowl. He gestured to the open space with a tilt of his head. “Go ahead and warm up.” Zuko twirled his swords in his hands and shed his royal robe and his shirt. Sokka watched the movement of his shoulder blades as he loosened up his arms and shoulders. 

He’d kissed that expanse of skin lazily several nights when Zuko curled up against him. He’d brushed his fingers all along his back until Zuko’s breaths slowed and evened out, and even then, he’d shift so he could put an arm around Sokka. 

“What are you staring at?” Zuko asked. But considering the smile on his face, he knew fully well. 

“The way your left arm struggles to move as smoothly as your right,” Sokka answered teasingly. “Try a combination of strikes while pivoting and blocking imaginary attacks.”

“Should I move like a waterbender or a firebender?” 

Sokka grinned and shrugged. “Impress me and alternate between both.” 

Never one to decline a challenge, Zuko fell into his stance and engaged in combat with the emptiness around him. He switched between sharp and quick movements and smoother, deliberate movements. His footwork was lighter than it had been when they first started. Sokka could still guess the next strike well before Zuko performed it, but it wasn’t as obvious anymore. 

Once he finished his fruit, Sokka put the bowl near the door then grabbed his sword to face Zuko. “Very well, my dearest. Let’s see how long you can stand your ground.”

The more days that went by with Sokka teaching Zuko, the more their sword fighting felt like a dance. He still managed to trip him or make him stumble, but for the most part, the movements felt synchronous. They also managed to last longer without disarming the other, engaging in more parries and strikes.

Zuko hadn’t put his hair up, and it followed his movement and stuck to his sweaty face in such a distracting way that Sokka wondered if he’d left it down on purpose. 

Still, Sokka had better stamina than Zuko, and it wasn’t long before the exhaustion made Zuko sloppy. Sokka cornered him against the wall with insistent forward strides and took advantage of the momentum in Zuko’s arm as he pulled his sword away to strike it out of his hand. He closed the space between them, pinning the hand holding the other sword against the wall while his own sword’s dulled edge pressed across his neck. 

“You’ve gotten better,” Sokka said with panting breaths. “I’m still better.” 

“There are times I beat you, you know?” Zuko arched his eyebrow and gulped against the blade. “I surrender.” 

Sokka smiled and pulled away. “Compared to the times I manage to disarm you or knock you onto your rear or both, the times you’ve beaten me aren’t very impressive.” 

“How can you be so cruel on my birthday?” 

With a laugh, Sokka kicked Zuko’s other sword toward him. “Now don’t say that. I planned on ending our session with this so we could go get your dumplings.” 

That seemed to soothe his chaffed ego, and he immediately sheathed his swords and took Sokka’s hand to lead him to the door. “All is forgiven,” he said resolutely. Sokka only laughed and followed him. 

They met up near the side road they usually walked after Zuko went to put away his things and Sokka went to return the bowl to the kitchen. Stepping off palace grounds allowed Zuko to take in a proper breath, and Sokka noted the way his body seemed to relax as they walked along the dirt road.

“So all this time you’ve spent randomly seeing the shopkeepers, they’ve never asked you your name or even where your family is?” 

“Of course they have. I just tell them I’m from an outer village and I enjoy coming into the city alone sometimes. There’s many people here, they don’t exactly plan on learning everyone’s name. They started out calling me ‘boy’ and after some time it just fit. It’s like an endearment now. When Miss Kwan says, ‘There you are, Boy, I was wondering when I’d see you again,’ it makes me realize that even though I’m nameless, they still think of me. Even miss me.” Zuko shrugged and brought his hand up to his scar. “They’ll know exactly who I am tonight. If I’m honest, I’m afraid I’ll lose them.” 

“Then this…. Us seeing them again today… it’s a goodbye?” 

“A goodbye. Or a way to remind them that...even with a name, I’m still the boy they know.” He pulled his hand away from his seared hairline and took a breath. “It looks like Mr. Feng has been expecting us,” Zuko said, lifting a hand to wave. Sokka looked over and saw the man with the dumpling cart waving back. 

As they approached a little girl and a little boy raced past them kicking a ball between each other. The little girl stopped at the sight of Zuko and raced to jump into his arms.

“Chiara, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you,” Zuko said with a smile. He seemed softer outside the palace walls. He didn’t use the flat voice that sounded so unlike him, he didn’t keep his expression blank for the sake of maintaining an upper hand before his family. He was entirely himself, and it was Sokka’s favorite way to see him. 

“It’s been a long time since we’ve seen you around, boy,” Mr. Feng said. He was already preparing a fresh batch of dumplings. “We’ve been wondering where you were. And your friend here.” 

Sokka smiled and waved while the girl looked at him with wide eyes. “I haven’t seen you around before. What’s your name?” 

“Sokka,” he answered with a smile.

“He’s a very dear friend of mine,” Zuko said. “Is that your friend?” He gestured to the little boy waiting with the ball in his hand. 

“Yes, we met at school,” she said. She squirmed to get down and proceeded to join the boy again and they ran off to kick the ball in the street. 

“It’s like she was never even ill,” Zuko said as he laughed softly behind his hand. “Very energetic. She reminds me of a friend.” Sokka smiled to himself, finding that he agreed with the resemblance. 

Mr. Feng smiled and handed him a basket of dumplings before working on another batch. “She’d been wanting to see you for some time. I believe she’s quite infatuated with you in that way kids tend to become.” 

That made Sokka laugh aloud so abruptly that he had to cover his mouth while Zuko’s cheeks reddened. “How precious,” Sokka said. 

Mr. Feng laughed and gave Sokka the other basket. “I’m glad to see you’re doing well, boy. You came on a very exciting day, you know? There’s a large celebration happening at the palace tonight in honor of the unseen prince’s birthday.” 

“Ah. Is there?” Zuko said, his face expression pinching slightly. 

With a sharp laugh, Mr. Feng shook his head. “I know. Everyone’s curious because we’d forgotten there was a crown prince for so long. Nobody’s seen him in years, we all assumed he’d died and the princess was next in line. Chiara wants to go for the music. If you’re going to be here long, you could come too.” 

“Yes, maybe,” Zuko said, unable to cover up the exhaustion in his tone. He handed Mr. Feng a handful of coins. “Thank you for the dumplings.” 

“Anytime, boy,” Mr. Feng said with a kind smile. “Be sure to go see Madame Jun. She was wondering about you too.”

As they walked away, Sokka managed a grateful smile then looked at Zuko. “Are you alright?” he asked. Zuko nodded, but it was clearly a lie. “Who’s Madame Jun? Why haven’t we visited her before?”

“She’s a tavern owner. She’s the first person I met when I came out to the city on my own for the first time. Usually when we come it’s rush hour at that tavern, and I didn’t want to stress her out. I’ve been meaning to say hello.” 

Sokka arched an eyebrow as one corner of his mouth quirked into a half-smile. “You went to a tavern on your first night out alone undercover? How old were you?” 

The thought had Zuko smiling sheepishly as he chewed on a dumpling. “Too young for Madame Jun to take me seriously. She kept me seated near her and waved away anyone who came up to me. Made sure I only drank water. Of course she asked what I was doing in a place like that, such an unfamiliar face- one she knew she’d have remembered if she met me before.” He gestured to his scar with a shrug. “She was kind. Like she knew I didn’t want to be out in the real world and whatever drove to her tavern in the first place was enough for her to let me stay as long as she could watch me. She never prodded though.” 

“My dear friend, you’ve had quite the double-life.” Sokka’s comment only made Zuko laugh sharply. He followed him to a dimly lit place that reeked of fermentation and the sharp scent of liquors Sokka had only read about. 

A tall woman with her hair piled up on her head turned at the sound of the door opening. “Boy, is that you? I thought you’d forgotten all about us here in the city,” she said as she left the counter to greet them. “And who’s this?” She turned to Sokka with a smile. 

“This is Sokka. He’s a very close friend of mine.” 

“You’re quite the looker, Sokka,” she said. “Not Fire Nation are you? Your eyes and build are too different to be from anywhere around here.” 

“O-oh… I….” 

She hummed and nodded. “It’s alright. This place is the home of many secrets. Told and untold. Well then, boy, how have you been? Come sit, I’ll get you both a drink.” 

Zuko peeked out of the window where sunlight filtered in. “Won’t your rush start soon?”

“I don’t expect too much of a rush today what with the palace’s arrangements for a banquet. Surely they’ll all go and get drunk there.” She shrugged and set down two metal tins filled with a foaming liquid on the counter. “Turns out we’ve got a prince’s birthday to celebrate. Never even seen his face, but the whole city’s expected to be there.” 

Sokka took a drink if only to hide his discomfort. The way they talked about the “unknown” prince and the festivities was so full of frustration and distaste. An immediate reaction to the idea of another royal family member despite not knowing who it was. Despite the fact that he was right in front of her. 

The drink was bitter, but it was similar to the brews from home. Sokka expected it to be stronger, but Zuko had already gulped down half of his tin. 

The tavern doors opened again and the sound of laughter filled the space, barely disrupting a drunk man Sokka hadn’t noticed before slouched over a table in the corner. Madame Jun’s expression fell as she walked around the counter. 

Zuko and Sokka turned to see her going up to two women who were wrapped around each other, laughing playfully. 

“Haven’t I told you two to come in through the back if you’re going to be like this?” Madame Jun chastised. 

“I thought our secrets were safe here,” one girl said. 

Madame Jun crossed her arms. “Of course they are. But if the wrong person sees you, you could get yourselves and me into big trouble.” The women’s gazes fell on Sokka and Zuko and they immediately parted from each other. Sokka tried for a smile, something to reassure them they were fine, they were safe. “With tonight’s celebration, there will be a lot of guards and you’ll have to be careful. Go on then, get to the back. There’s a mess from yesterday’s crowd.” 

The two hurried behind the counter and disappeared through another door. Madame Jun went back to the counter, maybe trying to gauge Zuko and Sokka’s reactions. “Like I said, this is a home for many secrets.” 

“We won’t tell anyone,” Sokka assured. It pained him to see the way people hid and feared being seen for the most human of emotions. He longed to reach for Zuko. 

“I thought your sister had gotten married,” Zuko said. 

“She did. For both her and her husband’s safety. It’s an agreement they had.” Sokka furrowed his eyebrows and stared at her. She arched an eyebrow, waiting on him to catch up. 

“Ah. He’s also….” 

Madame Jun only responded with a finger to her lips and a wink. “This won’t leave this tavern, will it?” 

Zuko sighed and put his head in his hands. “Of course not. You know me, Madame Jun.” He gulped the rest of his drink, dumplings in his hand forgotten, and stood. “I want to go see the rest of the shopkeepers, but thank you for the drink and… well everything.” 

“Of course, sweet boy. You’re welcome here whenever you need it. And you too, handsome friend.” 

Sokka took that as his cue to follow Zuko out of the tavern. Sokka grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into an alley. “Zuko, my dearest, maybe we should get back to the palace. This is wearing you down,” he whispered. 

“It’s all so much, Sokka. I can hear the hate they have for me in their voices. The fear on the women’s faces when they saw us…. If they knew- oh by the spirits, they’re going to know who I really am. All that affection they have for me, it’s… it’ll be gone the moment they see me up there.” Zuko pulled away from him and suddenly spread his hand out, letting a stream of angry fire blast against the stone wall. “She knew what she was doing. She’s figured out how to suffocate me further.” In another moment of frustration, he kicked at a pile of discarded bags of trash, sending them up in flames. The black smoke that rose from it was rancid, leading Sokka to pull Zuko by the arm to get away. 

“Let’s get to the palace before you burn this building down,” he snapped. “I know you’re angry, but don’t vandalize the city.” Zuko yanked away from him and started down the path. Behind them, a few people had gathered to see where the smell and fire was coming from. Immediately, they called out for buckets of water to put it out. No one seemed to know how it started, and Sokka and Zuko were both far enough away from it by then. 

The walk back to the palace was silent in a way that was unfamiliar when it came to Zuko. 

His anger seemed to have simmered down by the time they were back inside the palace. Still, Zuko wouldn’t look him in the eyes. “I… I think I need to be alone. I’ll find you before the celebration starts.” 

Before he could answer, Zuko had turned away and hurried down the hallway that led to his room. Sokka knew his anger wasn’t directed at him, but it still hurt him not knowing how to help. He had no say over the responses of the people, no say in stopping this celebration that only seemed to be a way to humiliate Zuko in the future while poking at that small hope he had that his sister might care for him. 

All Sokka could do was wait. He walked around and found Mai, but she didn’t seem to need or want his help with any preparations. Ty Lee had already set up the decorations outside and was already on her way to get dressed for the celebration. So Sokka went to his room and watched from his balcony as the sun set, the lanterns were lit, and the palace doors opened. 

People flooded in, simultaneously apprehensive and curious. Won over by the elegance of the space, they soon seemed to forget that it was a celebration for a prince, and it began to resemble the Lovers’ Festival on the island. Children ran around and laughed, people found each other and began to talk or dance or eat together. If anything, they simply skirted around the guards as they walked around. 

A knock on his door pulled him from his observations. He answered it to find Mai in a beautiful robe, her hair pinned up with a headpiece that should’ve been obnoxious but only managed to accent her perfectly. 

“The presentation will be starting soon. You aren’t dressed.” 

“I don’t… I don’t have… special robes,” he explained. 

Mai frowned and walked away to speak to the guard who was at the corner of the hallway. She returned to the door and gestured inside. “May I?” Sokka nodded and stepped aside. “Someone will bring something adequate for the occasion soon. I’ll help you dress properly.” 

“Oh. Thank you.” 

She nodded and walked out to the balcony. For a moment, the only noise was the distant chatter of the people, occasionally broken by peals of laughter. “I didn’t see you in the crowd, so I assumed you were with Zuko. But he said you parted ways earlier today.” She furrowed her eyebrows. “Is everything alright?” 

Sokka sighed scratched his head uncertainly. “We went to the city. Without the guards and carriages and servants shopping for you.” Mai arched an eyebrow. “He does it so they won’t know who he is. Today is the last day he could do that, and it took its toll on him. He got angry and….” 

“Ah, that explains it,” she said. “Zuko’s anger always burrows deep inside of him. And he hides away to handle it alone. It’s been like that since we were kids.” 

“Why are you friends with her?” Sokka asked suddenly. Mai frowned, confusion barely tinting her expression. “Azula. Why are you friends with her? She treats her own friends badly, based off the way Ty Lee avoids her. She’s a monster to her own brother, someone you say you love. She-” 

“I  _ do  _ love him,” Mai said sharply. “Do you have any idea how much of Azula’s hatred and anger I’ve stifled before it got to him? Do you think she knew his favorite foods, his favorite colors, his favorite ballads in order to put this celebration together? I grew up with them both, and yes I befriended Azula first, but I’m here for Zuko. Azula’s changed as we’ve grown up, and yes I care for her, but sometimes being her friend is simply safer for everyone. And when Iroh returned begging Ozai to let Zuko back into his rightful role as crown prince, my misery pushed Azula to convince him to agree. You’re new, and maybe you love him, but don’t think you love him in a better way than I have for so long. My friendship with Azula has nothing to do with the way I feel about how she treats him.” 

Her voice trembled as she spoke, slapping Sokka with a reminder of the way his own presence hurt her. She’d suffered the brunt of so much pain within the royal family’s dynamics, but she handled it all with grace. Sokka never would have guessed how much went into her friendship with Azula or her love for Zuko by looking at her. 

“I’m….”

“Sorry? Yes, I know,” she said. A knock at the door had her turn away and she took a pile of clothes from a servant Sokka hadn’t seen before. She closed the door and walked over to him. “The Fire Nation is large and complex. The royal family is more so. It isn’t as simple as a small tribe of close knit members like you have. Here you must know how to place your tiles.” 

“Like Pai Sho,” Sokka said as she helped him into a light, see-through robe over the clothes he had on. 

She nodded. “I don’t want a feud between us. We have common ground in our feelings for Zuko. It’s up to us to protect him when he doesn’t realize he needs to be. On that we can work together instead of against each other.” She slid another robe onto him, this one embroidered with glistening thread into fire patterns. “Just don’t underestimate me again.” 

“I didn’t mean to underestimate you,” Sokka said. 

She hummed dismissively as she arranged a wrap around his torso. “In the same way I asked you and Zuko to be considerate of your displays of affection, I’d like to be conscious of your feelings. In my case, some physical affection might be necessary at times for the sake of an image.” 

“I understand,” Sokka said, smoothing his hand over the robes. 

He met her gaze as she put on a final shoulder piece for him. “It will hurt me just as much as it might hurt you, that kind of faux affection. I’ll do my best to give some sort of warning so you won’t have to witness anything. I know Zuko already promised to keep those interactions limited, but… even the smallest one can hurt, I know.” 

“I’m sorry,” Sokka said. “For all of this-” 

“Don’t be. I understand,” she said. “Well then, you’re much more presentable. I’m sure they’re waiting on me for the announcement, so… let’s go.” 

Sokka walked beside her, unable to help the way his admiration for her grew. “You’re a very strong woman, Mai.” 

She looked at him and finally offered a full smile. “I know.” 

Sokka smiled and followed her to the doors of the throne room. Zuko stood there, staring blankly forward with clothing that Sokka had never seen before. They draped over him, looking heavy and expensive and obnoxious. His hair was pulled up into a topknot, with a new hairpiece, exposing his burn in its entirety. He didn’t look like himself. Not in the slightest. 

Mai took her place beside him. Ozai stood in front of him with Azula just a step behind him. Iroh stood to Zuko’s other side. Sokka, with nowhere to fit, stood just behind Zuko. He made sure that none of the guards were looking at him, that the rest of the royal family was focused ahead while Ty Lee’s voice announced the arrival of the Fire Lord on the other side of the door. 

With shaking fingers, Sokka reached out to touch Zuko’s lower back. In that moment, Zuko’s shoulders relaxed a bit. He put one hand behind his back, palm outward. As Sokka let his hand fall away, their fingers hooked together for a brief second. 

The door opened and Ozai and Azula stepped out. Polite applause rose from the crowd. 

Sokka expected to hear Ozai’s voice boom over the crowd. Instead, he heard Azula’s. 

“Fire Nation citizens, today marks a very special day.” Despite the passion in her voice, Sokka knew the princess enough to know her words were empty, each one a mocking slap to the face for Zuko. “Twenty-three years ago, the crown prince was born. Your future leader. And while he might have lost his path along the way in falling victim to cowardice and humiliation, he has returned and worked hard to restore himself so he can become the next Fire Lord. Though he has a long way before proving his worth and capability to rule competently, it is with great pleasure that I present to you all, my brother, the crown prince of the Fire Nation, your future Fire Lord.” 

It took Mai stepping forward and nudging him along for Zuko to move. Sokka followed close behind, standing aside with Iroh while Zuko and Mai stood in the center. Despite the cheers and applause, Sokka noticed the way most of the citizens seemed uncomfortable, and those that cheered in earnest were dressed in finer clothes and were often closer to the guards.

Everyone’s eyes were on Zuko. Sokka could see the question in the eyes of the people closest to the long staircase, drawn in and startled by the scar on his face. As Sokka skimmed the crowd, he noticed the shopkeeper from the stationary store step forward, a look of disbelief on her face. 

“Go ahead, Zuzu, speak.” 

Zuko swallowed and stepped forward. “I am Prince Zuko,” he said with a flat, steady voice. “I would like to thank all of you for coming to join me and my family in celebrating my birthday. Before we return to festivities, I thought it would be proper to introduce everyone to my betrothed- your future Fire Lady.” He held his hand out to Mai and she took it. Everyone clapped again, but stared in trepidation. 

“What a cold presentation, Zuzu,” Azula said with an empty laugh. “Show some affection for your future wife. You wouldn’t want the citizens to think you cold hearted, would you?” 

Sokka barely managed to catch Mai’s gaze. There was an urgency in her eyes, a warning for him to look away. He averted his attention to one of the banners, but in his peripheral, he could still see their figures. Iroh noticed him and offered a sympathetic smile that Sokka couldn’t bring himself to return. 

“Well, isn’t that sweet,” Ty Lee said. “But let’s get back to the fun, everyone! The bonfire will start as soon as the sun sets! Music!” As the musicians began playing again, Sokka turned to look at Mai and Zuko who were talking to Ty Lee only to find Azula’s cold, sharp eyes on him. 

The expression on her face made his blood run cold. For a moment her eyes flitted to Zuko and Mai before returning to him. She walked over with a wicked smile on her face. “Wonderful festivities, aren’t they?” she asked. “Though you look a bit ill. You’re welcome to return to your room.” 

Sokka narrowed his eyes. “I’m fine.”

Before Azula could say something else, Ty Lee stood between them and looped her arm with Sokka’s. “Come with me, Snow Soldier. Do you know how to dance?” She pulled him away to join Zuko and Mai, leaving Azula to glare after them. 

“Not your music, no.” 

“Well, I’ll teach you. It also helps to watch.” 

Zuko stopped before they could get too far within the crowd. “Chiara.” 

Sokka walked around to stand beside him and saw the little girl from earlier staring up at him. Behind her, Mr. Feng was staring with a seething expression. 

“Are you… are you enjoying yourselves?” Zuko asked softly. 

“Why didn’t you say you were a prince?” Chiara asked. “Papa says the royal family is full-”

“ _ Chiara.” _ Mr. Feng pulled her back, covering her mouth. “Bow to the prince and ladies, sweetheart.” 

“No, please don’t-” Zuko sighed as they bowed. “Excuse us,” he said. He turned away and led them to a spot near the musicians where many people had taken to dancing. “Is it too soon for this to be over?” 

“You don’t like it?” Ty Lee asked in a hurt voice. 

“Oh. Yes, of course. It’s beautiful, Ty Lee and I can’t thank you both enough for how much you put into this. I just…. I don’t like everyone watching me.” 

“Did that man know you, Zuko?” Mai asked. 

“I used to get dumplings from him. They must all feel like I took them for fools.” Zuko put his hand to his head and paced frantically.

“Okay, Zuko, you need to calm down. They can’t see you like this,” Mai said, pulling him to a stop. “Ty Lee and I will bring some food and drinks. Watch the dancing, focus on the music. Don’t let her see that she’s getting to you.” She looked at Sokka, giving him a firm nod before pulling Ty Lee away with her. 

Sokka turned to look at Zuko. “Just try to breathe,” he said softly. “They just need to see your benevolence. Then they’ll know you’re different. That you care.” 

“I can hear them all whispering about my scar. Spirits, help me, I’ve never wanted to disappear so entirely.” Sokka reached out to grab his arm, but then he saw a change in Zuko’s face as he looked at something over his shoulder and stepped back. 

Madame Jun’s tall figure walked right toward him with her sister behind her, trying to pull her away. 

“So you were spying the whole time, is that it?” she snapped. 

“Madame Jun-” 

“I welcomed you into my space, you sleazy ingra-” As she spoke, she lifted her hand, and Sokka had already reached out to pull Zuko from her line of attack, but suddenly one guard had grabbed her hand and another had knocked her to her knees by hitting her back. 

“No! No, leave her alone,” Zuko shouted, pushing past Sokka. “Don’t hurt her. Let her go. Now.” The guards hesitated but moved away, leaving Madame Jun on the ground. Her sister lifted her, but Zuko moved forward to stop them. “Please. Please know that you’re safe. I promise you’re safe.” 

“Your promises mean nothing,” Madame Jun spat. 

Her sister pulled her away, anxiously bowing. “We’re so sorry, Prince Zuko. I must return to my husband. My sister isn’t well. We’ll be leaving now.” 

As they left, Sokka watched Zuko’s expression slowly harden. Emotion left his face, like a mask he was slipping on so the crowd that had gathered to see what was going on couldn’t see the hurt. But Sokka knew. He knew, and he wanted nothing more than to hold him and reassure him. If he could show everyone how kind Zuko truly is…. 

He moved to face him, grabbing him by the shoulders to try and ground him. “Zuko, my dearest, look at me.” 

Zuko pulled away abruptly. His voice was flat but sharp as he spoke. “Don’t you see how many eyes are on me right now?” 

Sokka had never heard that level of frigidity in his voice directed at him. It lodged in his chest, draining the last of Sokka’s strength. Mai and Ty Lee returned with a guard who helped carry the things they’d brought from the banquet table, but Sokka couldn’t bear to make it through more of this party watching Zuko suffer and unable to help. Unwanted in the public eye. 

He turned to Ty Lee and bowed respectfully. “I’m so sorry. I know I owe you a dance, but I’m not feeling like myself. The amount of people… I’m not used to it. I think I’ll be retiring for the night.” He turned to bow to Mai and Zuko. “Goodnight, Lady Mai. Good night, Prince Zuko.” As he turned away, he saw the slightest change in the furrow of Zuko’s forehead. 

He made his way through the crowd, ignoring the way Azula’s gaze followed him from the top of the stairs. 

The palace was empty, considering the fact that all the guards were outside. Knowing he could no longer be seen, he ran the rest of the way to his room and shut himself in with a deep breath. He couldn’t push past the suffocation in his chest. He anxiously ripped away all the fancy garments, tossing them to the floor in hopes that he would feel more like himself. 

Once he was able to get a grip on himself, he sat out on the balcony, listening to the music from the celebration. He let it soothe him, let it wash over him as he looked up at the sky with its lack of stars. 

Eventually, Sokka went back inside and sat down to write back to Katara, but he found that every letter he wrote was filled with frustration and anger, and he didn’t want to send his sister something that would worry her just because he was focused on the immediate emotion of the moment. 

Instead he got into his bed and stared at the opening of the balcony, letting the sound of the celebration become a droning that could lull him to sleep. 

He’d lost himself in dreams of golden fire that froze everything it touched and suddenly woke when he felt a gentle nudge against his shoulder. He gasped and sat up only to hear a gentle shushing. 

“I’m sorry,” Zuko whispered. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.” 

“What are you…? What are you doing here? What time is it?” 

Zuko sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m not sure. The celebration has been over for a long time, but I just…. I couldn’t sleep with how we left things. How I spoke to you.” 

“You have an image to uphold,” Sokka said plainly. “I get it.” 

Zuko shook his head. “It’s just…. All day, everything built up inside of me. I’ve lost the people I care about in the city. I’ve lost the freedom of anonymity. The way Azula spoke about me when she presented me…. It was humiliating, and I just… I just have to take it. Believe me, I wanted nothing more than to fall into your arms at every moment, but everyone was watching me. Whispering about my face, about my name, about my family, about the lack of honor, and…. If I didn’t stifle it all, I feared I’d explode. But all I managed to do was push you away and hurt you.” He took Sokka’s hand hesitantly. “I understand if you don’t want to forgive me yet. I just needed to see you and….” 

His hand felt like ice. Sokka cupped it between his own hands and brought it up to his lips. He kissed his knuckles and rested his cheek against the cold skin. “I felt like you didn’t want me around you. I didn’t know how to help.” 

“You are the one thing I’m certain of, beloved,” Zuko whispered. “And I am so sorry I don’t have the liberty to express that every moment of the day like I want.” 

“Will you stay with me?” Sokka whispered. “I’ll hold you if you hold me.” 

Zuko smiled slightly, tilting his head questioningly. “How exactly does that work?” 

Sokka patted the space beside him for Zuko to lay down. He made sure they were facing each other, tucking one hand under his cheek while the other wrapped around Zuko. “Go on then.” 

Instead of wrapping his arm around him, he placed his hand against his other cheek, gently tucking back strands of hair that fell forward. “I feel like I’ve only ever been myself in these stolen moments with you.” 

“They’re not stolen,” Sokka said. “They’re ours.” He leaned in to kiss him, slow and sleepy. “Now close your eyes and sleep, my dearest.” 

Zuko shifted closer, intertwining their legs and pressing their foreheads together. Slowly but surely, they fell asleep, this time dreaming much pleasanter things. 

Sokka woke with the sunlight that streamed in through his window, casting Zuko in soft golden light. He kissed his forehead gently and disentangled himself so he could write his letter. Zuko grumbled briefly before settling in again, and Sokka went to sit at his desk. 

_ If my mind were not so full with the events of the last few days, I would have some witty name to tease you with. But there has been so much that’s left my head a mess.  _

_ To address your concern with Mai, I believe she is trustworthy. Despite her stoic demeanor, she’s a very kind person and good friend to Zuko. She wants him to be happy and safe as much as I do. I believe she has a stronger loyalty to him than she does to the princess.  _

_ I’m not quite sure where to start. Everything feels so scattered. Remember when I mentioned Zuko’s outings to the city? How the people loved him without even knowing his name? After the celebration, it’s all gone away. I supposed I understand the citizens. Those who knew him felt lied to, and they’re so used to the manipulation and cruelty of the royal family. But I know Zuko. I know he is kind and I know he wants nothing more than to help them. I know my feelings aren’t blinding me in any way because in reality, his heart and his generosity and kindness are all the reasons I first began to feel all these things for him. It’s left him broken, and I don’t know how to help put him back together.  _

_ I felt the worst of it when he rejected my affections. In his defense we were in public, and I should have known it wouldn’t be wanted. And maybe I was selfish in leaving him to handle the party alone, but… that ache was one I’d never known before. One that threatened to knock me to my knees. It’s better now. He came to find me later in the night as moonlight bathed my room asking forgiveness.  _

_ If I’m honest I don’t know how I’m supposed to handle more of this. I just know I’m willing to do it.  _

_ I know we said we would be discreet and vague in our letters, but really there is no way to portray these emotions without the straightforward words, Katara. I fear for him. For what this kind of pain and series of betrayals could turn him into. I fear what this heartache will make of me.  _

_ Maybe it’s all self destructive, or maybe we’re paving a path of destruction around us, but…. I have no other choice, I think. I know I’ve chosen him. I know I’m willing to embrace the pain and the results of broken things for him. To be with him. In this foreign land, he’s all I know.  _

_ I miss you. I miss our talks. In this loneliness, I’ve found myself wishing you were next to me. After being inseparable for so many years, this distance from you has left me feeling like I’m missing something vital. The voice of reason you always tend to be.  _

_ As I will remind you in every letter, I am doing my best to be careful. Give Dad and Gran a hug for me. Let them know our lessons are going well, and that Zuko learns quickly- he just can’t beat me yet.  _

_ With love,  _

_ Your Masochistic Brother Sokka  _


	15. About Strength and Weakness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being patient!! 50 minutes before the end of the day but it's up! 
> 
> This one didn't get a chance to be beta read, so I apologize for any typos. Also check out the link for some AMAZING art of that almost-kiss scene back in Embracing Recklessness!!!! 
> 
> Hope everyone enjoys reading. Thank you all so much for the support <3 
> 
> Also, if you guys are interested in another live stream, I'd love to do another some time! Just check my Instagram for updates! (@phoenix_iwsnd)  
> -Phoenix

_ [Almost-Kiss Art by AntagonizedJordan ](https://i-write-shakespeare-not-disney.tumblr.com/post/632624717997686784/antagonizedjordan-yo-my-ptons-are-incredible) _

_ To the most melodramatic man in the entirety of the south pole-  _

_ I miss you just as much, big brother. My heart aches for you. It aches for the prince too. A loss like that can’t be easy to bear, but like you, I understand the people. They feel lied to. How could they handle realizing the person they’ve become fond of has always been part of the group of people that oppresses them?  _

_ I’m glad he has you to help console him. If there is enough kindness to hold onto, maybe the loss and hurt won’t morph him into someone he doesn’t want to be. One day he’ll be able to prove himself again and gain their trust. _

_ If anyone can improve the prince’s skill to get him where he needs to be, it’s you. It’s good to know he’s working hard.  _

_ Keep your head up, Sokka. The bond you have is strong and things become somewhat more bearable when you have a reason to fight through them. At least that’s what Dad says. Find things to hold onto. Find the strength to fight. We love you, and we’re cheering you on across the sea.  _

_ Katara _

“What’s that, Snow Soldier?” 

Ty Lee’s voice made Sokka panic for a brief moment as he folded his letter up. “A letter from my sister,” he answered. 

She nodded and sat beside him, taking the liberty of grabbing a piece of fruit from his plate. “And where’s Zuko this afternoon?” 

“Debriefing with Iroh. I decided to wait for him here to enjoy the breeze.” Ty Lee nodded and began to stretch, reaching for her toes with ease “How much longer will you be staying?” 

“Want me gone already?” she asked with wide eyes. The twinkle in them told Sokka her pout was a playful facade. 

“Actually considering the fact that you and Mai actually treat me like a person, I quite enjoy your company.” 

She beamed at him, all round faced and sweet. Sokka felt a strange urge to protect her, but he’d also seen the way she handled the organization of the party a few days ago and knew she most definitely didn’t need anyone coddling her. 

“There you are, my dear friend.” Zuko’s voice carried from behind them. He walked up to them, placing a warm hand on Sokka’s shoulder. “Forgive me, Ty Lee, but could I steal him away for a moment?” 

“Sure thing! I’ll be here.” 

Sokka looked up at Zuko, one eyebrow quirked in question. He offered what was left of his fruit to Ty Lee and stood to follow him into the palace. As they walked, he noticed Zuko nod at every guard they passed. 

“Is something wrong?” Sokka asked. 

“Well, nothing new,” Zuko said. “I just have something to give you.” The response was so vague, but it still managed to bring a blush to Zuko’s cheeks, succeeding in piquing Sokka’s interest. 

He followed wordlessly until they reached his room. Zuko walked to his desk, sifting through the stacks of notes and scrolls until he found what he was looking for and returned to stand in front of Sokka. He held out a scroll with a broken wax seal. 

“Is this…?” 

“My forbidden letter to you?” Zuko finished with a sheepish smile. “Yes it is. Considering… everything… there’s really no point in keeping it from you. Although I must ask forgiveness because what I recall of it was… written in a drunk stupor.” 

The more he spoke, the redder his face got. Sokka took the scroll from him before he could change his mind about giving it to him. He turned away from Zuko as he opened it and walked to one of the elegant chairs he had in a corner. Zuko stayed where he was, watching him with a furrow at the bridge of his nose. 

_ My dearest, Sokka. My dearest my dearest my dearest my dearest. I wonder if you ever hear what I truly mean when I say those words to you. If you hear how much what it how _

_ Yearning.  _

_ Forgive me my dearest, my brain can’t string words together like I’d like it to.  _

_ In the last letter you called me your dearest. Did you realize it? Did you do it in hopes I wouldn’t notice? My dearest. I hold on to every brush stroke in each of your letters. How could I have missed it?  _

_ My dearest. Even in this state, all I see when I close my eyes is the blue of your eyes. I can hear your laugh, and I can see so clearly - you tilt your head when you laugh. Tilt it back and smile sideways. Your eyes squint. I miss it. I miss it dearly, my dearest.  _

The next section of scattered, shaky writing was blotted out by frantic brushstrokes. Sokka looked up to see Zuko with his head in his hand and his shoulder tensed up. 

“What did this part say?” he asked. “Why did you scratch it out?” 

Zuko’s cheeks turned the color of the covers on his bed. “It doesn’t matter.” 

“You scratched this out after you took it back from me, didn’t you?” Sokka stood and lifted the parchment to the sunlight streaming from the balcony, trying to see past the ink stripes. 

“ _ Sokka, _ ” Zuko begged. “Just. Finish the letter.” 

“Well the rest of it is almost illegible!” Sokka said with a laugh. He stopped trying to read the underlying words and continued with what he could read. 

_ When exactly did you take over my every thought this way? I might excuse it if you only appeared in my dreams. I can’t take responsibility for those. My thoughts however- I should be able to manage to keep those from becoming so indecent, don’t you think? I should be able to keep you from permeating every single one the moment I don’t have you in my sight.  _

_ It’s rude. My dearest you are you are rude. You’ve walked into my life this life I’d come to terms with and you turned it upside down with those eyes. With that smile. And how they squint when you laugh. My dearest you gave this place _

_ I miss you. I feel so lonely without you. Everything’s so different. My head is different.  _

_ Am I your dearest? Did you mean it when you wrote it? Did you realize you wrote it? In every dearest I mean it. I do.  _

_ My eyes are shutting for longer. I will send this while I have the courage. Forgive me, my dearest for not being able to tell you to your eyes.  _

_ Yours in heart and soul,  _

_ Zuko _

As he finished, he skimmed back over the words written with an unsteady hand, frantic and bleeding into each line. He turned to Zuko with a small smile when he took in the flushed, embarrassed scrunch of his expression. 

“Don’t laugh at me,” Zuko said in a low voice as Sokka pulled him into his arms. 

“I’m not laughing at you.” He cupped his face and brushed their noses together. “Would you like to know how I spent my time back home without you? I’d stare at the sky thinking of you. Reread your letters. I spent so long losing myself in thoughts of you that my dad and my sister took me out on a boat to get me to talk. You can ask Katara.” 

The admission seemed to ease Zuko’s embarrassment, and he let out a soft hum as he closed his eyes. 

“Now about those  _ indecent thoughts…. _ ” Zuko’s eyes opened wide, and Sokka could feel his breathing stop. Sokko, however, couldn’t help but feel a bit smug at the prospect of getting under a prince’s propriety. “Is that what you blotted out? Is that why your face is so scarlet right now?” 

“Sokka,  _ please,”  _ he answered, pushing against his shoulders gently. Sokka allowed some distance, but kept a grip on him. “It’s unimportant.” 

“If it were, you wouldn’t have made such frantic brushstrokes over the words so I wouldn’t be able to read it.” His logic made Zuko frown and look away. “In any case,” Sokka said, allowing the subject to drop as he moved in closer and tucked his head into the curve of Zuko’s neck, “thank you for giving me my letter back. Vandalized as it is.” 

“Well, you’re welcome,” Zuko said as he cleared his throat. “With everything happening, I think the only reason I haven’t lost my mind entirely is because I have you. You keep me grounded. You make my days infinitely better.” He brought his hand up to his head to scratch his head in gentle arctic hen pecks. “I don’t think I could’ve ever imagined falling in love to be like this. I’ve always thought about what it could be like, how it would feel. But it feels like the spirits made this only for us. Like I was destined to love you the moment our paths crossed.”

The word should have shocked Sokka, shaken him to his core. It should’ve startled him and excited him and maybe made him panic. It didn’t do any of that. In fact, it felt like they’d used the word love several times before. Maybe they’d already confessed their love in different ways without realizing that’s what it was. All Sokka knew was that the moment he heard the word love fall from Zuko’s lips, it felt like it belonged. Like he’d known the word and the feeling all along. And what he had with Zuko could be nothing else. 

“When my Dad would talk about my Mom, he always said loving her was something so consuming, it took over until it was all he knew. I used to think that was terrifying, especially since we lost her. What do you do when you lose that?” His words made Zuko hold him tighter. “But I find it’s not so much… that loving you is all I know. It’s more like. I know you, and loving you is part of me. I know that… no matter what, I will always know you, know what it is to love you.” 

“For as long as we have,” Zuko whispered. 

“And long, long after that,” Sokka responded. He lifted his head and smiled at him, slowly pressing forward until he could kiss him. 

Wordlessly, they melted into the bed, comfortable in their movements as they maneuvered around each other between playful, innocent kisses. The word love hung around them, clear and promising, but welcoming. Like coming home. 

“My beloved,” Zuko murmured as he looked up at Sokka. 

“My light,” Sokka breathed against his lips. Before Zuko could respond, a knock came at the door. 

“Prince Zuko, Lady Mai and Lady Ty Lee are here to see you,” a guard called through the door. 

The two of them stood up. While Zuko went to open the door, Sokka moved to stand by the balcony as he tucked away the letter with Zuko’s inebriated confessions into his pocket. 

Mai looked stressed, casting a frustrated look at the guard who let her in when Zuko opened the door. “I need to tell you something,” she said. “It’s not good.”

“I can tell as much by your expression,” Zuko said. Sokka moved in closer. He hadn’t seen Mai like this before. Beside her Ty Lee looked just as worried and confused.

She pressed a hand to her forehead and sighed. “I know….” She hesitated and looked at Sokka. Together, they stepped closer to Zuko. Mai took his hands and Sokka stood behind him, waiting to see what kind of news she brought. “The shopkeepers who saw you at your party…. The man with the dumpling cart and the tall woman, I think she owns a brothel or-”

“A tavern. Madame Jun. What happened?” Zuko asked, his words low and sharp. 

Mai clenched her jaw and shut her eyes. “Azula’s had them imprisoned. At Boiling Rock. She said she had business to discuss with my uncle and asked me to go with her this morning, and I recognized them. Along with a couple others from the city.” 

“On what grounds?” Sokka asked, unable to keep the dread from seeping into those three words. 

“Treason. She was watching everything during the celebration, she saw the altercation with Madame Jun. She demanded that the guards tell her what happened, so she took her first.” 

“And the others? Mr. Feng? How would she know about them?” Zuko’s voice was full of desperation.

“It’s my fault,” Ty Lee whispered. “During the party…. She finally talked to me and apologized and she said she was trying to be nicer. That’s why she made the celebration for you. And she kept asking about you, so I figured she was just trying to know you better….” Ty Lee’s voice trembled. “I mentioned the shopkeepers because I knew you’d been upset with how they looked at you, how they spoke to you. But I didn’t say anything specific! I don’t know anything specific, I told her if anyone did it’d be Mai or Sokka!” 

Mai turned to Ty Lee and grabbed her by the shoulders. “What did she ask you?” 

Ty Lee hesitated, her large eyes filled with tears. “She- uh, she asked about Zuko’s routine. Who he took his meals with, if he seemed lonely.” She looked at Zuko uncertainly. “I don’t see why that would’ve made her arrest them. Most of the time you’re with Sokka, so nothing I said could’ve given her any reason to think the citizens hurt you.” 

As Ty Lee spoke, Sokka felt something cold spread through his entire being, beginning in his chest. He recalled the way Azula’s sharp golden eyes had analyzed him when Zuko and Mai kissed, the way she seemed to watch him until he returned to his room. How long had she been watching him? How much had Ty Lee truly given away with a simple observation? Azula didn’t seem like someone who worked on one objective at a time. She had several courses of action and she moved carefully, like it was a big game of Pai Sho. 

“She didn’t mean it, did she? That she’d try being nicer, that she was sorry?” Ty Lee said in a soft, broken voice. 

In front of him, Zuko seemed to be shaking. His hands were clenched, and a dark look overcame his features. “Azula always lies,” he said viciously. Without any explanation, he walked past Mai and Ty Lee, leaving Sokka to trail after him with an anxious twist in his stomach. Ty Lee and Mai followed, though at a slower pace. 

Every step seemed to strengthen his resolve, and every time he opened a door to find an empty room, he growled and continued without pause. Finally, they flooded into the common room where guests were greeted. Azula and Ozai were both walking toward a door that led to another wing, but the rush of footsteps had Azula looking over her shoulder. 

“Father, I’ll meet you in the war room. We can continue our discussion then.” 

Ozai looked over at Zuko and the others, but must have deemed them unworthy of his time. “Make it quick,” he said as he walked through the other door. 

Azula tilted her head, looking at them with a bored expression, one eyebrow raised. “It didn’t take very long for you to go running to tell him,” she said, directing her words at Mai. “He seems to have you wrapped around his finger, Mai. Not something I expected from you.” 

“Enough,” Zuko snapped. His tone had Azula’s face twitch in annoyance as she looked at him. “Why did you imprison the shopkeepers? How many of them?” 

“Zuzu,” she said, her tone dripping with feigned offense. “After finding out that you’d spent so long being treated like a commoner by them, what else could I do? One of them managed to strike you, so obviously she was the first to be arrested. The others didn’t show you the respect you deserve as the crown prince.” She reached out to touch his cheek, a motion that might’ve been comforting if it weren’t from her with that cold smile. “Come now, Zuzu. You spent so long as a commoner that you’ve forgotten the way you’re supposed to be treated. Those shopkeepers are only getting their due. And don’t worry. Your future lady’s uncle is taking good care that they learn their lesson.” 

Zuko stepped back from her, still shaking. 

Sokka refrained from reaching for him, but he managed to find his voice in time to at least say, “Zuko, let’s go for a walk in the gardens. Give you time to cool down.” 

“We’ll go see them,” Mai said. “If the crown prince demands their freedom, they’ll have it.” 

“I’m afraid that’s not how it works,” Azula said. “The prisoners are there under Fire Lord Ozai’s orders. Their sentences can’t be overturned.” 

Zuko stepped forward again, with an expression that sent chills down Sokka’s spine. He grabbed Zuko’s arm, holding him back. “We can figure something out,” he whispered. He looked at Mai and she stepped forward, taking Zuko’s hand and pulling him away like Sokka wished he could. 

As she led him to the door, Sokka followed behind them. 

“Southerner,” he heard Azula call out. He froze. Ty Le looked back, but Sokka kept his eyes on the door Zuko and Mai had already gone through. “It’s Prince Zuko to you. Be sure you aren’t getting too comfortable around him. You’re only here to do your job, if you can remember what that is.” 

Ty Lee scoffed and looped her arm into Sokka’s to lead him through the door. To her, it meant nothing. For Sokka, the words weighed heavily on his shoulders. To Sokka, those words were a threat. 

They left and regrouped with Mai and Zuko in the gardens where Zuko was already pacing in frustration, clenching and unclenching his fists like it took everything in him not to burn everything around him in his rage. 

“Please calm down,” Mai said in a sharp voice. “If you talk to them-” 

“They hate me, Mai,” Zuko snapped. “They won’t want to look at me. Much less listen to what I have to say. Do you think they’d believe me when I say this wasn’t my order?” 

“Zuko, what about Chiara?” Sokka asked, suddenly recalling Mr. Feng’s young daughter. “Who is she with?” 

That seemed to seep the anger out of Zuko. He stopped pacing and his entire body seemed to deflate. “I don’t know,” he said. “Her mother died when she was young. I don’t know if maybe a neighbor…?”

“Well, me and Sokka can go check on her,” Ty Lee offered. “This is all my fault anyway. I was naive enough to think Azula really cared, and I really wanted to help.” 

“I don’t want to leave Zuko,” Sokka said uncertainly. 

“I’ll keep him company,” Mai promised. “I’ll be sure he calms down. You and Ty Lee are probably the only ones who can go into the city without needing a fleet of guards. And Ty Lee is good with defense.” 

Sokka looked at the small girl beside him, but she only nodded with a determined smile that barely reached her eyes. “Okay. We’ll go. What do we do when we find her?” 

“Just make sure she’s okay. If she has nowhere to go…. Bring her here.” Mai, Ty Lee, and Sokka looked at him dubiously. “Well I can’t just leave her to fend for herself!” 

“Okay, well, first let’s just see how she is,” Ty Lee suggested. “Let’s go, Snow Soldier.” 

Zuko’s soft, weary golden gaze locked with Sokka’s until he had to turn away. Without another word, he took Ty Lee around the far wing of the palace to the side entrance of the wall and they stepped out together. 

The path was sufficiently familiar. It felt strange walking it without Zuko, but he was glad he wasn’t alone. He looked over at Ty Lee. 

Since Mai’s explanation, she’d become subdued. Her usual excitement and energy had seeped away. “It’s not your fault,” Sokka said. She frowned and looked up at him. “The fact that Azula manipulated you into giving her information she could use against Zuko- it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault the shopkeepers are at the prison.” 

“It is. If I hadn’t forgiven Azula so easily, I wouldn’t have told her anything. She wouldn’t have known how to hurt Zuko.” Ty Lee shook her head. “I grew up with Azula. I should have known better. Mai was always smarter about how to work with her.” 

Sokka wanted to ask what Azula had done to Ty Lee to have caused such a rift. Why a simple apology still managed to be enough to have Ty Lee talking to her again. He wanted to know what kept Ty Lee tied to Azula if she seemed familiar with her cruelty. For Mai, it was Zuko. What could it be for Ty Lee? 

He kept his questions to himself, not wanting to impose or further upset Ty Lee. 

“Come on. The dumpling cart was usually over here.” He led Ty Lee down a side street. The usual spot where the cart would set up was empty. He wasn’t sure if the man set up right outside of his home or if he lived somewhere along the street or maybe elsewhere entirely. “How are we supposed to find Chiara?” 

“Well, I don’t know what she even looks like. I just offered to check on her to be helpful somehow.” Ty Lee looked around. “Maybe we can ask someone.” Sokka hesitated as she walked up to a woman who was carving something while she sat outside in a chair that rocked back and forth. “Excuse me, but do you know where we can find the home of the man who would set his cart up here?” she asked. Her voice was so light and soft that the woman didn’t even seem to realize Ty Lee was technically a noblewoman too. 

“You won’t find anyone there. Palace guards came to take him away to Boiling Rock a couple days ago.” 

“And the girl? Chiara?” Sokka asked. “Is she okay? Safe?” 

At the sound of his voice, the woman narrowed her eyes. “The girl is fine. She hasn’t stopped crying because she misses him, but she’s staying with the linens shop lady, the one with the gnarled hands.” The woman shrugged. “Don’t think she’d take to visitors, but they’re the first house a block over that way.” She jutted her thumb out to point behind her. 

“Thank you,” Sokka said, pulling Ty Lee along immediately. 

They walked down the street and turned the direction the woman pointed. Sokka vaguely recognized the small hunched over woman sitting outside, weaving Chiara’s hair into braids. Zuko knew her name, but it never stuck with Sokka. He always mixed it up with her granddaughter’s because she was the one who ran the linen shop most of the time anyway. 

As they got closer, Chiara looked up from the small, raggedy doll in her hands. She looked at Sokka in confusion, slowly narrowing her eyes like she wasn’t sure she was supposed to. 

“Why are you here? Where’s the prince?” she asked. 

The woman doing her hair looked up and narrowed her eyes. “Chiara, little pepper flake, why don’t you go on inside?” 

“We’re not here to cause more trouble,” Sokka promised. “We just wanted to see that Chiara was okay. The pr- Zuko was worried about her. We just found out about the arrests, and-” 

“We don’t want your excuses or your pity,” the woman said. “Go on. Chiara is as fine as she can be without her father. You should stay away from her, the whole lot of you. You can see all the good that being near the palace royals did. Don’t make her suffer more for that prince’s peace of mind.” She turned away from them and walked back into her house. 

“I don’t know how Zuko managed,” Ty Lee said softly. She turned Sokka from the house slowly so they could walk back to the palace. “He spent so long building a life among the people, and Azula wiped it away within a night.” 

“And she’s made it irreparable,” Sokka said with a low growl. He stayed quiet the rest of the walk back to the palace. When they arrived, Mai was waiting for them at the side entrance. “Where’s Zuko?” 

“He wanted to be left alone and he went to the training room,” she said. “I think you should talk to him, Sokka. See if you can convince him to come to dinner.”

Sokka nodded and went inside, finding his way through the hallways with ease as he reached the training room. When he opened the door, a wave of stifling heat poured out, making Sokka lift his arms to block his face. 

“By the spirits,” he said with a wince. “Zuko?” A fluttering sound resounded around him as the flames Zuko had unleashed were snuffed out. 

“Sokka!” 

He was at the far end of the room. As Sokka walked up to him, he could see the way his face glistened with sweat, the way his chest rose and fell with each panting breath. His hair was pulled up, but still in a disarray, with wet strands stuck to his face 

“What are you doing?”

“Firebending,” Zuko said. “I needed to release my anger somehow. I feel so useless.” He looked at Sokka with a worried crease in his brow. “Did you find Chiara?” 

“Yes. She’s safe. She’s with the older woman who owns the linen shop.” 

“Madam Cheng? Did you see her? Do they need anything?” 

Sokka grabbed him by the arms, trying to calm him down. “She seems to be perfectly fine. Aside from missing her dad. Madam Cheng said that we should keep our distance for her sake.” 

Zuko sighed and moved to the wall so he could sit on the floor and lean against it. “I feel like such a useless prince,” he said with an empty voice. “What good am I if I can’t help the people who need me? I’ve spent my life away from my nation and only return to continue hiding. Now that everyone knows who I am… I can’t do anything for them.” A scowl twisted his features and he let out an anguished shout as fire shot from his extended hand. 

Sokka recalled Zuko saying fire could be fueled by anger, but that he had learned to use a better emotion to breathe life into it. That version of Zuko that was usually so collected and refined was falling away, leaving a version of Zuko that was restless and furious. 

Without a word, Sokka sat beside him, watching as the fire rose and put itself out. 

“How can I call myself their fire lord or even their prince if all I can do is sit and watch them get mistreated?” He clenched his fist and took a deep breath, letting it out in a cloud of smoke through his mouth, similar to a dragon. “When we were younger, Azula once complained about her firebending teacher. I tried to tell her she shouldn’t disrespect her teachers, but my father got angry. He said I had no right to tell my sister what to think when she had already surpassed me in our bending. He said… it was a pity Azula wasn’t the first born. Because she was born lucky. And I was lucky to be born.” His words fell flat, ringing hollow as they were swallowed by the space of the room. “I’ve tried to believe it wasn’t true, but maybe it is.”

“You’re insane,” Sokka said viciously. “How could you believe that?” He shifted so he could sit in front of Zuko, grabbing his hands. Despite the amount of fire they had created, they felt cold. “This is exactly what your sister wants, my beloved. She wants you to feel this way, she wants you to feel useless, but if anyone is worthy of the throne, it’s  _ you.  _ I know you, Zuko. I know the change you want to bring to your nation. The moment that throne is yours, you will do everything in your power to help your people. You know the shopkeepers by name, you know their lives, you  _ care.  _ You know the names of every guard here. You are a person who is so dedicated to helping that you sent a healer for Chiara without even taking credit for it.” Sokka leaned forward, cupping Zuko’s face to press their foreheads together. “These are all things that led to me falling in love with you. They are the things that will make you a good ruler. One who brings change.” 

As he spoke, Zuko’s hands moved to his shoulders, holding onto him like his life depended on it. “It all feels so futile right now,” he said in a broken voice. 

“I know. That doesn’t mean it is. It takes an incredible amount of strength to remain kind after experiencing so much cruelty. You are not your family’s name. You are not the rulers before you. You know better. You are kind and your heart is golden with the strength of dragons, my dearest.” Sokka kissed him softly. “The rest of the world will see that soon enough. Just hold out a little longer.” 

“Can I admit something to you?” Sokka nodded and pulled back enough to look at Zuko’s face. “Sometimes I consider running away with you. To live in that perfect world you told me about on the balcony at the beach house. I imagine getting on a ship with you in the middle of the night and sailing away to the South Pole. No more abuse. No more lies and manipulation. No more responsibility. No more hiding. No goodbyes.” He touched Sokka’s cheek with a trembling hand. “And I crave it so badly it scares me. The only thing that keeps me here is the fear of what would happen to the people under Azula’s rule. I could never live with myself if I condemned them to that.” 

It would be a lie if Sokka said he hadn’t thought of the same thing. Of whisking Zuko away and never looking back at this dreadful place. He’d fallen asleep in Zuko’s arms with fantasies of a future with him free of Fire Nation royals, guards, and palace walls. Nothing but snow capped hills, icy waters, sealskin coats, and warm fires. 

But it was nothing more than an indulgent fantasy, a hopeless desire. 

“That is why I know… you will be the Fire Lord your people need,” Sokka said, ignoring the tremor in his voice. Even if it meant goodbye, they both knew Zuko wouldn’t turn his back on his people. He wouldn’t give up on them. “Now we should both freshen up and have dinner with Mai and Ty Lee. You know, Ty Lee is blaming herself too. I think it would help her to know you don’t blame her.” 

“The person to blame is Azula. Everything she’s done has been to tear me down and expose my weaknesses,” Zuko said resolutely. “But yes, I suppose I gain nothing from starving myself.” 

Sokka stood then took his hand to help Zuko up. Their fingers remained loosely intertwined until they reached the door.

After they’d each gone to their own rooms to bathe, they reconvened at the staircase facing the gardens. Mai and Ty Lee joined them, and the group sat at the small stone table to eat what a guard had brought out for them. 

After Zuko had thanked the guard by name, Sokka asked, “How can you tell who it is? They’re covered from head to toe.” 

“Their voice,” Zuko said simply. “And the eyes.” 

For a moment, it felt normal. It felt like a casual meal with light conversation. The day’s events lingered in their thoughts, but they didn’t weigh so heavily. 

Once they were all ready to retire to their rooms, Sokka offered to take the dishes to the kitchen. Zuko offered to help, and the ladies simply said their goodnights and parted for their rooms once they entered the palace. The kitchen staff was still cleaning up when they arrived, and they immediately stopped to bow to Zuko. Despite Sokka’s offer to clean what they’d brought, they were assured they didn’t have to do any of it. 

Eventually, the two of them retreated. 

“Did you want to be alone tonight? Have some space?” Sokka asked softly.

“No. I’ve had enough of being alone,” Zuko said. “Could you come to my room once the moon is over the palace walls?” 

Sokka nodded and turned down the hallway to go to his own room. He waited on the balcony, as if by watching the moon, she would move faster and finally rise high enough. It was a small change, but it was more inconspicuous if Sokka arrived as if he’d been called for just before the guard’s shift change. Then he could stay without anyone realizing he’d spent the night.

Finally, a sliver of white moonlight peaked over the top of the wall, casting light on the palace grounds. Sokka left his room and walked down the hallway, taking advantage of the distracted guard to slip into the next corridor. 

As he came up to the main hall, just before the turn to get to Zuko’s, he heard another set of footsteps. Azula was walking in from the entrance, and her eyes had narrowed in on him. 

“What are you doing in the halls at this hour?” she asked, raising one eyebrow. 

“I could ask you the same,” Sokka said. 

A cold smile spread on her face. “You can’t, actually. This is my home. I have a right to all parts of it at all hours. You, at best, are a lowly guest who shouldn’t be rousing suspicion.” 

“If you wanted me imprisoned, you would have found some inane reason to try it by now. It’s clearly not above you.” 

For a moment, there was a crack in her collected expression. Something simmered in her eyes, something dangerous. She let out a cold, humorless laugh. “You’re right, I suppose. In any case, I don’t care what you’re doing wandering the halls. Goodnight, snow savage.” She walked past him, every step echoing in the space, and Sokka had to take a deep breath to keep himself from snapping back at her. Suddenly, her steps stopped. “Oh, and tell my brother that Father expects a prince to have far better composure than what he exhibited today. Surely he can’t afford to taint his name further.” The steps resumed, and Sokka tried to shake the coldness that overwhelmed him. 

He walked the rest of the way to Zuko’s room in a slight daze, barely managing to compose himself when he reached his door. He didn’t need to worry Zuko further by complaining about his sister and her odd threats. 

The moment the door closed, Zuko pulled Sokka in by his arm for a kiss. Every night, Zuko greeted him with a passionate kiss, like all the ones he’d held back through the day had culminated into one. “It isn’t fair what you do to me,” Zuko said softly. “It’s as if each day it gets harder to spend any time away from you.” 

“I’m here now, my dearest.” Sokka pulled him along to the bed in hopes of getting Zuko to relax after such a stressful day. “You know, I’ve never seen you make such large flames before. It was impressive.” 

Zuko settled himself against Sokka, leaning back against him as most of the tension dissipated from his body. “They can get much bigger in the open. I’ve never tested how much, but Uncle has helped me hone in my bending skills over the years. I haven’t really needed it much, but I’m starting to think I should practice it as much swordfighting in order to prepare for my trials. Knowing my father, he’ll put me up against a master in the agni kai.” 

“Well, if it means I get to see more of that fire breath thing you do, I won’t be opposed.” Zuko laughed and nudged his leg, but Sokka could see the way his ears turned red. He began to thread a strand of hair between his fingers, and after a moment, Sokka asked, “Zuko, have you ever been… intimate with anyone?” 

Zuko froze in his arms, and slowly sat up, turning to look at Sokka. “That’s unexpected…. No. I haven’t.” His cheeks darkened as he looked at Sokka sheepishly. “Have you?” Sokka shook his head. “Ah. Well.” 

The way his face slowly turned redder had Sokka laughing a bit too loudly. He covered his mouth and cupped Zuko’s face. “Don’t look so embarrassed. It was just a question. I figured if I was inspiring  _ indecent thoughts  _ then you-”

“You will never let that go, will you?” Zuko said, shoving him back against the mattress playfully. 

“Not until I know what you blotted out,” Sokka said with a laugh. He wrapped his arms around Zuko’s body and had him curl up against him. “Relax. It was only a question.” He kissed the curve of his neck and settled his chin there. “I’m not sure how it works in the Fire Nation, but in the South Pole, once we reach a certain age, we all get talks. Gran talked with Katara. My dad talked with me.” 

“Everything I know about intimacy between men is from word of mouth. From brothel to neighbor to drunken gossip at the tavern,” Zuko admitted. “So I can’t say it was very informative, being passed on like that.” He turned to look at Sokka, the scarlet in his cheeks somewhat subdued, but still present. “Hypothetically, then… if we were ever to be with each other that way… it wouldn’t be a mess?” 

Sokka laughed and kissed Zuko’s forehead. “Maybe it would still be a mess. Knowing how it works in theory is different than doing it in practice after all.” Sokka felt his own blush rush into his cheeks. “But yes, I could tell you what I know. Hypothetically.” Zuko hummed then nodded once before turning back around and holding Sokka’s arms close to his chest. “Goodnight, beloved.” 

“Goodnight, my dearest Sokka,” Zuko whispered. 

The next morning Sokka woke as sunlight filtered in through the balcony doors. He looked over at Zuko and the way the light settled on his skin, casting him in the golden light, turning his dark hair a shade of red along the edges where it caught the light. He knew he needed to get back to his room before a guard saw them leaving the room together, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Zuko. 

He stayed there against his better judgement giving Zuko gentle arctic hen pecks as he watched the rise and fall of his chest. 

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and the guard at the door called for Zuko. 

Sokka froze and shook Zuko awake, though he was already stirring at the sound of the knock. 

“Just a moment,” he called. 

“It’s your uncle, Prince Zuko,” the guard said. “He’s returned and wants you to meet him in the gardens.” 

Zuko sat up, a wide grin stretched across his groggy face. “Let him know I’ll be there soon, please!” 

“Yes, Prince Zuko.” 

Sokka looked at Zuko in confusion. “Returned from where? You were just with him yesterday.” 

“I lied,” he said, getting out of bed to remove his sleepwear in favor of his day clothes. He changed behind the wardrobe door, so all Sokka could see was the scurried movement of his feet. “I did study and catch up on news, but Uncle was there.” He stepped back into view, immediately taking Sokka’s hand. “Come with me.” 

“Why did you lie?” Sokka asked, following him out. There was no guard, so there was no need to worry about being seen. Zuko didn’t answer. He led Sokka out of the palace and toward the gardens. 

Before Sokka could ask again, he heard a familiar voice call his name. 

“Katara?” He sped up so he could see past Zuko and saw his sister standing at Iroh’s side under the shade of a tree. “Katara!” Without thinking, he ran forward, meeting his sister halfway, and engulfed her in a hug. He lifted her from the ground with ease and laughed, unable to contain his joy. “What are you doing here? I missed you so much!” 

He put her down, but he didn’t let her go. “After your last letter, I sent another letter to the prince asking if his offer to bring me still stood.” She pulled away and smiled up at him. “I’ve missed you too, penguin brain.” 

“You were right, Sokka,” Iroh said. “She and I get along very well. And she’s excellent at Pai Sho.” 

Zuko finally caught up to him, smiling widely. He bowed to Katara and kissed her palm. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Lady Katara. Sokka loves talking about you and everyone from the South Pole.” 

Katara smiled and shook her head. “Katara is fine. I’m happy to finally meet you too, Prince Zuko. You can imagine how much of Sokka’s letters you take up.” 

“Okay, that’s enough with formalities,” Sokka said laughing nervously. 

“Zuko is fine,” Zuko said with a wider grin. “I’ll show you to your room. Thank you so much, Uncle.” 

“Of course, Prince Zuko. When you have time, come find me so we can catch up on your studies.” He turned to Sokka and Katara. “I’m happy to see your reunion brought you both so much joy. We’ll have some tea tonight to celebrate.” 

He left them with a bow and went into the palace. The three of them walked into the palace at a slower pace, letting Katara have time to marvel at the garden. Once they got inside, they went down the same hallway where Mai and Ty Lee’s room were. Katara left her things in a room of her own and pulled her hair up. Just as Sokka began to suggest going to find clothes in the city for her to wear without suffocating in the heat, a bright voice came from behind them. 

“What’s going on? Who’s this?” 

He turned to see Mai and Ty Lee at the doorway. “This is my sister, Katara,” Sokka said. “Katara, this is Mai and this is Ty Lee.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you. Sokka’s told me a bit about you both.”

“Has he?” Mai asked, raising an eyebrow. “All good things, I hope.” 

Katara didn’t get to respond before Ty Lee tugged her by the arm. “We should spend a day together, just us girls! I’d love to know more embarrassing things about our favorite Snow Soldier.” 

Katara let out a laugh at the nickname. “Of course, I should be here until Sokka has to return so long as I’m not needed back home thanks to Zuko.” 

“Why don’t we all get breakfast in the dining hall?” Zuko suggested. “I’m sure you’re tired from travelling, and my father should have already had his breakfast by now, so we won’t be disturbed.” 

The lot of them left the room. Sokka never let go of Katara as they walked to the dining room. He was shaking with excitement at the idea of having her here. He caught Zuko’s eyes and hoped he was able to express the joy he felt with that look. He hoped Zuko knew that if they were alone, he would have pulled him into a breathtaking, dizzying kiss out of sheer gratitude and adoration. 

The dining room wasn’t empty when they arrived. Azula was still at the table looking through a scroll that she rolled up immediately when she heard their voices. Their conversation died, and Sokka could feel the way Katara’s shoulders tensed. 

“And what do we have here?” Azula asked, standing up with her scroll. “Going by the striking resemblance, I assume this is another southerner.” 

Sokka felt Katara’s body twitch forward and he tightened his grip on her shoulders. “This is my sister. Katara, this is-” 

“Princess Azula,” Katara said. Somehow she managed to make the title sound like an insult, and while Sokka loved her for it, he also couldn’t help the way fear burst in his chest. 

“And who brought this one here?” Azula asked, picking up her typical habit of talking about those she felt were below her as if they weren’t there.

“I did,” Zuko said. “And I let Father know, so there’s no point in making a fuss.”

Azula’s eyebrow rose. “And what exactly do we need another iceborn here for? What use is she aside from eating our food and using our resources?” 

“Well, Azula some people care about their siblings and enjoy having them around,” Ty Lee answered, her voice shaking with fury. Azula’s gaze settled briefly on Sokka before returning to Ty Lee with indifference. “Can’t say I expect you to know what that’s like.” 

“Ty Lee,” Mai said, a vague sense of warning in her tone. “Azula, the palace has more than enough provisions for another guest. Besides Ty Lee and I will return to our own homes soon now that Zuko’s birthday has passed.” She spoke calmly, once again surprising Sokka with her ability to take control of the room and brush aside all underlying tension with it. “You can join us for breakfast if you’d like.” With that, Mai walked past her and sat down at the table. 

Azula glared after her, saying nothing as the rest of them took their places around the table. Sokka kept his eyes on Azula, watching the way her eyes drifted to each of them before the corner of her mouth quirked up and she walked away. 

Once she was gone, the room came to life with conversation and a sense of playfulness that Sokka doubted it had ever seen before. As they talked over each other and ate and made plans for the rest of the day, Sokka took a risk and reached for Zuko’s hand under the table where no one could see. He squeezed it briefly before letting go, catching his eyes. Within that shared gaze, a million words, a million kisses, a million touches passed. All of it could be deduced to three words.


	16. About Its Secret Language

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to stop reading whenever you'd like here at the beginning. It's a slow build, so I can't give a clear moment of "stop reading here" but you can pick back up after the line of asterisks (ctrl + F or find in page *** ) 
> 
> Also, because I don't have access to my computer as much as I want during the week due to my brother using it for online school, I'm officially changing the update day from every Friday to every Saturday, especially since I keep updating on Saturday anyway. 
> 
> Thank you for your patience and your feedback. It means the world to me. 
> 
> Enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think!   
> -Phoenix

It had been a long time since they went to the watchtower to get a good view of the sunset. After Ember Island, it just couldn’t compare. 

It had become Katara’s favorite view in the few weeks she'd been there. Sometimes Zuko joined, if only to have a chance to hold his hand without worrying about someone seeing them despite the daylight still dancing against the palace. Today though, he was busy firebending with Iroh. Sokka tried to sit to watch once, but with both of them firebending and creating such giant flames, it was too overwhelming and too dangerous. 

“What are you thinking?” Katara asked while Sokka stared out at the waves lapping against jagged rocks. 

"It's become a long line of thought in an instant," he answered. Katara only smiled and waited. "First, I thought of Zuko practicing his firebending. Then I thought of how massive his flames become, how powerful he is. I forget that sometimes because I rarely see him use his skills. Then I thought of whether he'd be ready for his trials at the summer solstice. The winter solstice will be here within the next moon cycle, so he has time, but…. Of course, the thought of his trials and the summer solstice made me think of us going home. Of saying goodbye. Of the life he'll have to create with Mai and the one I'll have to create without him." 

Beside him, Katara sighed then proceeded to rest a reassuring hand on his arm. "That is a long time from now. I told you to live in the moment. You said yourself the future heartache is inevitable. At least let it be worth it." She leaned her head on his shoulder. "He loves you deeply. I can see it in the way he looks at you when you're not paying attention. When you're rambling or lost in a story or in your own thoughts."

"To think I find the person I love an ocean away from home," Sokka said, allowing a slight tinge of bitterness to seep into the words. 

Katara didn't respond. They watched the sun disappear, marking the end of another day. "You should rest," Katara said. "I'll write to Dad and Gran this time." She nudged Sokka so they could leave the watchtower.

She struggled more in learning the hallways, so Sokka still walked her to her room. Now that Mai and Ty Lee had returned to their own families, the palace felt emptier, especially the guest hallway. 

"Be careful when you go to see him tonight," she said as she opened her door. 

"I haven't run into Azula anymore. And the guards assume he sent for me. Their shifts-" 

"I know, I know. You've told me before," Katara interrupted. She sighed. "You can never be too careful, Sokka. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

Sokka nodded and offered a smile in hopes of soothing her worry. “I’ll be careful. Goodnight, Katara.” She closed her door and Sokka walked back down the hallway, making his way to Zuko’s room. 

The guards didn’t seem to even notice him as he walked. By the time he reached Zuko’s room, Zuko was at the door, barely arriving himself. The scent that clung to him reminded Sokka of the crackling fires they’d make at home, when the firewood picked up a welcoming smell that promised stories and laughter and food, and the cold nipped at his nose while the flames slowly seeped into his body starting at his fingertips. He wondered if all firebenders carried this scent after bending, or if it was just Zuko. 

“Come in, my dear friend,” Zuko said with a smile. 

“How did your training go?” Sokka asked as he stepped into the room. 

Zuko shut the door and immediately greeted Sokka with a gentle kiss. His breath felt warmer than usual. “It went well. I hope Katara isn’t getting too bored within the palace-”

“No, not at all. We spent the evening at the pond where she worked on some new waterbending things and she helped me figure out more things to teach you when we practice in the mornings. I ought to put you up against her soon.” 

“Well, I’m up for the challenge,” he said. He put his hand against Sokka’s cheek and touched his forehead to his. “I missed you today. It felt like we didn’t get any time together at all.” 

“I know,” Sokka whispered. “It’s alright. We have time.” He closed the space between them, kissing Zuko as he cupped his face. 

The warm fingers around his arms tightened their grip. The softest sigh slipped from Zuko’s mouth between the press of their lips. It had Sokka pulling him in closer, ignited a desire to hear more. Wordlessly he let his kisses fall to Zuko’s jawline, down along his neck. Zuko’s head fell back as he let out a low breath. 

It wasn’t the first time their kisses turned into something more, however slight the change. But usually it ended before it became too much more. Sokka would pull away to catch his breath and regain his composure or Zuko would pull away with a saturated blush across his face before asking if Sokka was tired. 

This time, however, Sokka didn’t want to pull away. He didn’t want to bother composing himself. He slid one hand down to rest against the small of Zuko’s back, pulling him in gently. “Is this alright?” Sokka asked, letting his words breathe out against his neck. Zuko nodded quickly. His fingers pressed lightly against the nape of Sokka’s neck, insistently pulling him in so he could continue what he was doing. “Tell me when I should stop,” Sokka said. 

After a few moments where Sokka busied himself with worshipping Zuko’s neck and every quick breath that fell from his mouth, he heard Zuko whisper, “What if I don’t want you to stop?” 

Despite the way the question sent heat to build in the pit of his stomach, Sokka contained himself. He looked up at Zuko and raised an eyebrow. Several nights ago, as they laid together whispering mindlessly, Zuko had asked Sokka how things would work between them- hypothetically. Sokka explained what he knew- hypothetically. 

If he was honest, Sokka had wondered when the hypothetical would become real. He’d had his own share of  _ indecent thoughts _ since then. 

“Then I won’t,” Sokka promised. “Only if you’re certain.” 

“I am.” Sokka let his gaze flicker down to Zuko’s hands which seemed to tremble slightly. “I am,” he repeated with a small laugh. “I’m just nervous.” 

Sokka slowly pulled Zuko’s hair free by removing the pin from his hairpiece. “We’re both new to this,” he reminded him. “We can do this slowly. We can begin by simply learning each other’s body.” He let his fingers trail along the sides of Zuko’s neck slowly. “If you’d like.” 

With his lip between his teeth, Zuko nodded. He grabbed the neckline of his shirt and pulled it over his head. “I have been without a shirt in front of you before. I don’t mind starting here.” 

The shirt was left on the floor, and Sokka let his eyes trail over Zuko’s chest and torso. The torches around the room made the firelight dance on his skin in soft shades of orange. The shadows accentuated his muscles, the dips where his pants hung on his hips. He had a lithe figure that in the south might’ve suggested malnourishment. But Sokka had gone up against him in sword fights, and he knew how much power was in those muscles. 

Slowly, Sokka removed his own shirt, ignoring the way his heart beat against his chest. “My body’s a bit different than yours,” he said softly. 

Zuko stepped forward to pull Sokka’s hand away from his side where he’d absent-mindedly been trying to shield his warped scar from him. His other hand came up to hover over his stomach, slowly making its way to his chest. While being in the Fire Nation had led to losing a small amount of his roundness, most of it was still there. His muscles weren’t carved against his body like Zuko’s, they were covered in a layering of warmth to keep him alive in the south. 

“You’re exquisite,” Zuko said softly. “I feel it every night when your arms wrap around me. The strength you hold in your body.” He grabbed Sokka’s wrists and pulled them around himself before tilting Sokka’s chin up toward him. He brushed their noses together for a moment before pressing his lips against Sokka's. 

Without breaking their kiss, Sokka felt Zuko's hand trail across him, mapping out his body. They slid up his back, over his shoulders, pressed against his sides to bring him closer, traced the outline of the warped skin without fear, and spread against his chest. Sokka felt the way his hands slowly turned hotter until they felt like flames themselves against his skin- but he didn't mind it. If it hurt, he couldn't feel it. 

He allowed himself the same liberty, spreading his hands along Zuko's bare torso. Even his body had turned unnaturally warm. Sokka followed every line and dip of Zuko's body until he could feel his staggered breath against his mouth. 

Wordlessly, he pressed against Zuko. Nudging him back until they could collapse against the soft bed. Before Sokka could let his mouth fall to his chest, he felt Zuko's legs wrap around him and turn him over. His hair spilled over his shoulders, falling around Sokka as he leaned down to kiss him. 

“How does it feel to have a prince so ready to fall to his knees for you?” Zuko whispered. 

Sokka shook his head. He sat up, keeping his arms around Zuko as he pressed kisses to the hollow dip of his throat. “You are not  _ my  _ prince. You are my equal. You're my beloved.” He looked up at him and smiled as he gently touched his cheek, fingertips grazing the burn scar. “You are the person my spirit will find in the spirit world.” 

Zuko didn't respond. He only pressed his forehead against Sokka's and leaned into his hand. Sokka watched the way Zuko’s expression contorted, but he still refused to speak. Instead, he kissed Sokka in a desperate way that had him tightening his grip around him. 

The process was slow. Hands and lips traced every inch of skin. Sokka was determined to commit Zuko’s body to memory, he was determined to make the night last longer than all others. 

Through fumbles and nervous laughter and crimson cheeks, they finally found their way out of their clothes and under the silk covers. They hadn't gone past the light caress of their hands, but the placement was so intimate that it still left them both with shaky breaths and red cheeks. 

Zuko had taken to running his finger over Sokka's arm, following the bulge of the muscle with one hand while his other outlined Sokka’s necklace. Their legs were intertwined, and Sokka was far too aware of the lack of fabric between them. 

"If this is all you want to do tonight, I don't mind," he whispered. 

Zuko's eyes gleamed with a mix of firelight and moonlight. "Is this all  _ you  _ want to do?" Sokka swallowed thickly and shook his head. "Me either. I'm just not sure what to expect." 

"It's new for me too," Sokka said softly. 

"Well, yes, but… you have a better idea of what to do. Far better than me." 

Sokka laughed and kissed his shoulder lightly. "Is this your way of asking me to take over?" Zuko hummed in confirmation, tightening the grasp his leg had on Sokka. 

The night Sokka had explained to Zuko the technicalities of being intimate, he’d shown him a bottle of body oil on the long table. Zuko said it was meant to keep his skin soft, as was to be expected of a prince, but he didn’t really use it. Now, Sokka pulled away from Zuko to get it from amongst the other bottles. 

When he turned to look at Zuko again, he stopped for a moment to admire him. The sheets bunched up around him, his dark hair contrasted the sheets, and he seemed to reflect the soft light within the room. He looked like an art piece, and Sokka wished he could make the image permanent.

“What is it?” Zuko asked, sitting up. 

Sokka smiled and walked toward him. “Nothing. I just wanted to look at you.” 

Zuko curled into himself as Sokka sat in front of him, golden eyes wide as a smile tugged at his lips. He leaned forward to kiss him softly, a gentle reminder that they could take their time. 

Carefully, Sokka pressed him back to lay comfortably against the bed. He ran his hands along Zuko’s legs and kissed him again and again until he could feel the tension dissipate from the muscles under his hands. 

Exploring Zuko’s body felt like a gift. It took time, it took laughter, it took whispers, but they finally found their way to something new. Something that had Zuko covering his mouth to silence his heavy breaths and made a scarlet color spread down his neck to his chest. The sight alone had heat unfurling in the pit of his stomach. His grip on Zuko’s thigh tightened, but Zuko didn’t seem to mind. His body opened up to him, and his golden eyes glazed with want, with pleasure. 

Sokka pulled his fingers away, wondering vaguely how long this was meant to last. He already felt like he’d been pulled taut. 

“Suddenly, I’m not sure why this seemed so terrifying,” Zuko breathed out. “Though I get the feeling I’ve been selfish.” His eyes dropped to Sokka’s hardened length. “Can I… touch you?” 

Unable to find words, Sokka simply nodded. Zuko sat up, but instead of reaching with his hand, he stood from the bed and knelt at the edge, beckoning Sokka over. As though in a trance, Sokka shifted to sit at the edge. He sighed as overheated hands pressed against his thighs. His breath caught in his throat when he watched Zuko leaned forward, his hot breath making him twitch. 

“I’ve only heard second hand accounts of this,” Zuko whispered. “You’ll have to forgive me if I’m not quite certain what I’m supposed to do.” 

Before Sokka could say anything, his mouth closed around him, and Sokka reacted with an immediate upward thrust of his hips. A broken sound fell from his lips as his world narrowed down to the man on his knees in front of him and the heat that seemed to overtake them both. 

As Zuko’s mouth tightened, Sokka let his head fall back and his mouth fell open on a moan. 

He knew that if Zuko did that much longer, he would fall over that pleasurable precipice far too soon. 

“My dearest, my dearest, enough,” Sokka whispered urgently. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Zuko asked.

With a laugh, Sokka shook his head and held Zuko’s face in his hands. “No, not at all. In fact you were doing something too well. Come.” He shifted back and spread his arms. Zuko stood and settled over him with one leg on each side. “This way, you might be able to take this at the speed you need. The speed your body needs,” he murmured. He grabbed the oil again and ran a hand over himself before pulling Zuko’s hips closer. “Take your time. Tell me if something feels wrong.” 

Zuko nodded, shifting to bear his weight better as he placed his hands on Sokka’s shoulders. Sokka place his hands on either side of his hips, his fingers digging into supple skin. As Zuko lowered himself slowly, Sokka found himself biting down on his lower lip to stifle the gasps that built at the back of his throats. Zuko’s expression contorted, but he didn’t seem to be in pain. He didn’t stop his advancements. Sokka watched his face carefully, making sure to keep still so he didn’t do anything that hurt his beloved. 

The moment they were joined completely, Zuko pressed his forehead to Sokka’s. In the breath he let out, flames fell from his mouth, swirling and dissipating into a cloud of smoke that made Sokka stare in shock. 

Zuko pulled back, looking down at Sokka through lidded eyes. “Dearest lover of mine… I am now yours in mind, spirit, and body.” 

Speechless, Sokka could find no other way to respond than by proceeding to caress every inch of skin he touched, kiss every part of him his lips reached. He wanted to worship Zuko’s body in the purest way. He wanted to hold him, love him, show him what it was to be loved in a gentle, adoring way. Becoming one body with Zuko was an honor, a gift bathed in silver moonlight and shadows, and Sokka needed to show his gratitude, his reverence. 

The movement came naturally, spurred on by a deep instinct that searched for pleasure as well as the desire to please Zuko. He laid Zuko across the bed, holding him gently and locking eyes before shifting his hips. 

Zuko shut his eyes and arched his back. His eyes unfocused with each roll of Sokka’s hips until he had to cover his mouth to stifle the gasps and moans. Sokka wanted nothing more than to bury his head in the curve of Zuko’s neck, but he opted instead to pull up on his knees, keeping his hands at Zuko’s thighs as he pushed into him. 

“Sokka, you don’t have to take your time anymore,” Zuko managed through every punched out breath. “It doesn’t hurt.” 

“If I move faster, I don’t think I’ll last much longer,” Sokka murmured. 

“Who’s saying this only has to happen once? We have the whole night to ourselves, my dearest.” Sokka shivered and tightened his grip. Zuko reached forward, hooking a finger in Sokka’s necklace to pull him down. “Now kiss me and stop restraining yourself.” 

Sokka’s words dissipated at the taste of Zuko’s tongue. Zuko’s hands pressed against his back, burning deliciously. The hardest part was staying quiet. They muffled their sounds against each other’s mouth, against each other’s bodies. It wasn’t long before Sokka felt the heat and pressure tighten in his core, and he chased it while Zuko looked up at him with a pleased expression as sharp exhales slipped through his parted lips. 

The pleasure that pulsed through his body made him let out a moan loud enough to make Zuko cover his mouth as he let out a gasp of his own. 

“Don’t stop,” Zuko begged. “Cover my mouth.” 

“Are you sure you won’t let out another dragon’s breath?” Sokka panted, still shivering from his own release. Zuko nodded and pulled Sokka’s hand up to his mouth. He shut his eyes as Sokka pushed in again. Sokka felt the reverberations of stifled sounds and the heat of each breath against his palm. 

It began to become too much for Sokka, but with the way Zuko’s moans became more frequent and even louder, he knew he couldn’t stop. Zuko’s hand dropped to his length, tugging a few times before he arched his back and pressed his own hand against Sokka’s. 

Exhausted, Sokka laid down beside Zuko and tried to catch his breath. 

Zuko pulled himself up to lay on him, ignoring the sweat and stickiness. “I’m yours. Forever.” 

“Forever,” Sokka agreed. He pushed Zuko’s hair back, bunching it up gently in one hand as the other rested lightly on his waist.

***

The next morning, both Sokka and Zuko felt the repercussions of their night. Sokka felt it in his body, in his muddled brain from lack of sleep, but most of all in the way his heart sped up at the mere sight of Zuko. 

He'd slipped out before dawn during a guard change so they could both bathe and clean themselves before having to go about their day as if nothing had happened. Memories of the night replayed in Sokka's mind as he washed himself and as he drifted to sleep for as long as he could. The sounds, the touch, the heat, the whispers, the kisses. It made him smile without even realizing it. 

He woke up only because Katara had gotten into his room and shaken him awake.

“Blubber-brain, weren’t you supposed to train the prince?” she asked, narrowing one eyebrow. 

Sokka sat up, ignoring the dull ache in his head from being woken so abruptly after such little sleep. “Not today,” he said, unable to restrain his smile. 

Katara looked at him suspiciously. “Should I ask?” 

Maybe it wasn’t a conversation to have with his sister, but she was the only one he trusted and the only person he had to confide in. “Stop me if you’d like. I’m just…. Katara, I’ve come to know Zuko at his most vulnerable state. I can now say I know him better than anyone.” He smiled and rubbed his face, scratching at the stubble. “It’s an experience like no other.” 

“That’s a special kind of connection,” she said softly. He could tell there was more she wanted to say, possibly a lecture or a warning, but he was grateful that she left it unsaid. “Get some rest. I’ll find Iroh and see if he’s up for some Pai Sho.” She stood up and went to the door. “I’ll come wake you for lunch.” 

The door shut, and Sokka let himself drift to sleep again. He woke up again when the sun streamed in through his balcony and directly against his face. He hadn’t slept long, but it was enough to feel more refreshed. He left his room and walked to the garden in hopes of some fresh air. 

He found Zuko and Katara by the pond, feeding turtle-ducks. 

“I was just about to go get you,” Katara said when she saw Sokka walking toward them. “I was just telling Zuko about the famous battle of Glacier Peak.” 

“I hope you’re explaining that I was the victor,” he said. 

“Of course, my dearest,” Zuko said with a smile. But the conspiring smile between him and Katara told Sokka that she’d already convinced him of her truth. “Are you well rested?” 

“A bit. And you?” 

Katara distracted herself by trying to lure a turtle-duck nearer, leaving Sokka and Zuko to look at each other with bashful smiles. “I’m quite rested,” Zuko said softly. “Should we take our lunch out here?” 

“It is a nice day, and the shade has covered the table,” Katara said, standing up with a turtle-duck in her hand. Zuko walked over to the guard that was standing at the door to the palace while Sokka and Katara made their way to the little stone table. “Iroh mentioned joining him for tea tonight,” she said. “He also said I’m better at Pai Sho than you.” 

“Liar,” Sokka accused. 

Zuko returned and sat beside him, with enough space between them so they wouldn’t rouse suspicion from anyone else, but much farther than Sokka would have preferred. 

Two guards arrived after some time with trays of their food. Zuko thanked them and assured them they didn’t need anything else. 

While they ate, Katara took it upon herself to tell Zuko about every embarrassing moment in Sokka’s life, from childhood to adulthood, bouncing back and forth with glee. 

She was in the middle of telling Zuko about the time Sokka had accidentally given Katara a lopsided haircut, but she kept telling it wrong. 

“It wasn’t my fault! You let me and never stopped me!” 

“I didn’t know you were going to cut it all!” she said. 

Zuko laughed behind his hand as he shook his head. “How much was he supposed to cut?” 

“Only a small section so it wouldn’t be noticeable,” Katara said. 

Sokka shook his head. “I just liked the way it sounded when it got cut. It was a very satisfying sound, so I cut a bit more. But then it was noticeable, so I wanted to even it out,” he explained. But Katara only shook her head and Zuko doubled over in laughter. 

“Gran was furious,” she said. “She kept all the blades and daggers far out of reach after that.” 

“How old were you?” Zuko asked. 

Sokka turned to Katara to ask, but saw the way her expression had twisted. He looked over his shoulder and saw Azula walking toward them. 

“The two of you need to come with me,” she said, letting her eyes dart between Sokka and Zuko. “Father would like a meeting with you.” 

“I’ll go too,” Katara said, standing up. 

“You haven’t been welcomed. Only those invited are allowed in the war room,” Azula said dismissively. “As for you two- follow me.” She turned around without waiting to see if they listened. 

After sharing an uncertain look with Zuko, Sokka turned to Katara and touched her hand lightly. “I’ll come find you afterwards.” He turned away, ignoring the dread that settled on his shoulders. 

Azula walked ahead of them. There was confidence in each one of her steps while Zuko and Sokka both walked behind filled with apprehension. Sokka had learned what that cold smile meant. She felt she had the upper hand. Something was coming. 

They walked into a room with a long table in the center. There were torches attached to pillars and Fire Nation banners hung along the walls. Ozai was standing at the head of the table, and for once, his eyes immediately went to Sokka. 

“Sit down, all of you,” he said, using a welcoming tone that lacked sincerity. Sokka shared a look with Zuko before they took a seat across from each other. Meanwhile, Azula simply stood at the opposite end of the table, letting her fingertips slide over the surface. “I have some festive news,” Ozai said. “After careful consideration, I believe that an alliance between the Southern Water Tribe and the Fire Nation could be beneficial. In light of it, I believe a union in the form of marriage would be best to bring our people together.” 

For a blissful moment, Sokka wondered if that meant Zuko’s betrothal to Mai was over. If the concept of an alliance was so tantalizing to the Fire Lord that he’d go against the laws of his land and truly suggest marriage between them. But logic quickly overrode the initial hope. Relationships like his and Zuko were unthinkable. Katara, however, was still a chief’s daughter.

The moment that information sunk in, Sokka felt dread seep into every muscle, and he looked at the Fire Lord in alarm. 

“M-my sister?” Sokka asked. “No. Absolutely not.”

“Not your sister,” Ozai assured. “By my understanding she doesn’t hold any power as a chief’s daughter, and I could never disgrace Governor Ukano by breaking the betrothal. After all the Fire Lord lineage must remain pure.” He waved a hand to dismiss the concept. “However, seeing as you are to take your father’s place as chief-”

“No,” Sokka said the moment he realized what the Fire Lord was suggesting. Ozai’s eyes narrowed as his chin tilted up, clearly displeased. “No. I don’t agree to this.” He looked at Azula who was watching him with a smile that suggested she’d already won whatever sick game this was. “The princess shouldn’t be forced into marriage for the sake of an alliance, there are other ways-”

“The suggestion was Azula’s,” Ozai said. “If that is what concerns you, I assure you she consents to the prospect. Azula?” 

As Sokka turned to look at Azula, he felt his tongue turn to stone in his mouth, his breaths were shallow and uncontrollable. 

Azula smiled and nodded. “I am more than happy to take you as my husband, Sokka. As princess of the Fire Nation, I must do what is best for my people. Considering what a  _ dear friend  _ you are to Zuzu, I know he would approve as well.” 

“Zuko, I trust this is correct?” the Fire Lord asked. 

Sokka sought out those golden eyes that so often managed to soothe him, that seemed to carry the sunset. They were empty, hollow, staring vacantly at the table surface. He looked up in time to return Sokka’s desperate gaze. In them, Sokka saw the defeat, the swarm of apologies for the word that would fall from his tongue which must have felt as heavy and uncooperative as his own. 

Zuko tore his eyes away to answer, hardening his features before the words slipped. “Yes, Father.” 

“Then I do believe a congratulations is in order!” Ozai said. He turned away, but before he could say more, Sokka stood up. 

“This isn’t how we do things in the south! You can’t force people into a loveless marriage the way you do here!” 

Zuko’s facade broke to give Sokka a panicked, warning look. Ozai’s shoulders tensed, but he didn’t turn back around. After a few moments of silence, his voice resonated, cold and clear. 

“Are you aware of the ties the Fire Nation has with the Northern Water Tribe? A small, meaningless group of people really. Most of their prominence comes from the fact that they raised the Avatar. They think they have more power than they do.” He turned around, expressionless. “As you must know, they’re quite embarrassed with their sister tribe. So much so that they’ve busied themselves with plotting for a way to infiltrate it and redefine it.” 

Sokka stepped back, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. 

“Oh, you didn’t know?” Ozai proceeded. “Well, seeing the uncivilized and ancient ways of the southern people, they want to take it upon themselves to fix that, to bring the Southern Water Tribe to the same standard as the Northern Water Tribe. Not much of an improvement if you ask me, but they’re quite adamant.” He walked toward the table until he was towering over Sokka. “The North has overstepped their boundaries with us. They plan to ruin your tribe. We can help each other, I think.” 

“Then make an alliance with my father. Sign a treaty-”

“Do you know how power works, boy?” The condescension had Sokka struggling to maintain control over himself. “My nation is vast. Our power is known worldwide. Not everyone agrees with it. A treaty might be simple to break when convenient. Of course, I don’t think your people could afford to break a treaty and begin a war, but I’d rather take the more peaceful route. You marry Azula, we send reinforcements if the North decides to infiltrate. After all, Azula is a strong bender. With you being a nonbender, your children would be Water Tribe firebenders. A perfect unity for generations to come. Much stronger than any treaty.” When Sokka failed to respond, Ozai smiled coldly and walked away. “Think it over. I’m certain you’ll come to the right conclusion. Have an answer by tomorrow. We’ll have to plan the wedding immediately. Azula, see these two out.” 

He sat down at the head of the table, fingers against his forehead like he’d just dealt with a child’s temper tantrum. Sokka wanted to stay, to say more, to demand something else. He felt an icy hand grab his arm and pull him away. Numbly, he walked beside Zuko until they left. 

“I think I’d like fire lilies for our decorations,” Azula said with a teasing tone. Zuko grimaced beside him, but Sokka had enough. 

He stepped forward and grabbed Azula’s wrist to turn her around. 

“What do you want? What does your father want?” Azula arched an eyebrow, once again looking at him like an inconvenient insect. “Since I’ve arrived, you’ve spoken of me as nothing more than property. You never even call me by name. What do you want from my tribe? What could you need so badly that it makes you willing to marry someone you see as an uncivilized southerner?” 

“He’s right,” Zuko said sharply behind him. “You always lie. You don’t want this marriage, you want something out of it, out of Sokka’s tribe.”

“Well if our alliance with the North ends, we lose a good supply of fish. I just want our people fed, Zuzu. You should be proud. I’m acting selflessly, like you always preach.” 

“This isn’t just for fish,” Zuko said. “Why are you doing this?” 

Azula’s eyebrows furrowed in mock concern. “Zuzu, I thought you’d be happy. This way your precious friend becomes family.” She tilted her head. “Unless…. Oh, Zuzu. Just how attached are you? Don’t tell me you’ve followed in the tradition of bedding your companion.” She grimaced as Zuko flinched backward. “After all, it was long revealed he was never meant to be your companion.” When Zuko failed to respond, a sinister smile grew on her face. Sokka felt his stomach churn. 

She knew it all. And she was using it against them. 

Her attention returned to Sokka. “I’m sure you know the best choice to make. Of course you could say no. I suppose the next suggestion could be providing Zuzu  _ two  _ wives. A very different portrayal of unity, don’t you think?” 

“You won’t touch my sister,” Sokka said with a low growl behind his words. 

But Azula seemed delighted with his rage. “Well the only other option would be some form of punishment! A way to convince you. We need you, but we don’t need her. And you brought her right into our hands. Ah, well I suppose that was Zuzu, right? To show how much he cares for you and your wellbeing? Could you handle seeing her in chains at Boiling Rock? Or at a guillotine-” 

Before she finished speaking, Sokka felt his fury push him forward to pin Azula against the wall, keeping her there with his forearm at her throat. “ _ Don’t threaten my sister,”  _ he snarled. Her grin never vanished. Even then, she had the upper hand. “You ash-blooded-”

“Sokka, enough, let her go,” Zuko said sharply. He refused to move, locking eyes with Azula. She arched an eyebrow, unfazed. “ _ Sokka!”  _

With a final, frustrated growl, Sokka moved away, letting Azula go. “A snow savage doing what he knows best,” Azula said flatly. “I expected as much I suppose. You should hope I don’t change  _ my  _ mind.” 

With that she walked away from them and continued down the hallway.

Meanwhile Sokka felt his energy seep out of him in one swoop, leaving him to collapse on the floor. He pushed his trembling hands to his forehead. 

“Sokka….” Zuko knelt in front of him. “I…. Can we get to one of our rooms?” 

“I need… a minute,” Sokka said, unable to unclench his teeth. He knew Zuko wanted to touch him, to be near him, comfort him, maybe even fall apart himself. But it all had to wait until they were hidden. 

He hated the Fire Nation and everything it stood for. He hated that Zuko still protected Azula after her cruelty. He hated that he snapped and painted himself as everything Azula thought of him. He hated that he’d put his sister and his tribe on the line. 

Zuko stayed where he was until Sokka was finally able to pull himself up. Without a word, they both walked down the hallway. As they reached Zuko’s room, they saw Katara pacing outside while the guard at the end of the hall watched her uncertainly. 

“There you are!” she said when she saw them. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of the expressions on their faces. “What happened?” 

“Let’s go talk,” Sokka said, taking her by the arm. Before he could step away, Zuko stopped them. 

“Please wait. Katara, forgive me, but if I could steal just a bit more of your brother’s time….” Katara arched an eyebrow. “Privately, if possible.” 

Katara frowned, looking for something in Sokka’s face, but he was too exhausted to hide the state of misery he was in. “Is this okay with you?” she asked him. Sokka managed a nod. Katara sighed and looked back at Zuko for a moment. “I’ll be in my room. Find me right after, okay?” 

Sokka nodded and watched her leave. Zuko called for him gently, and Sokka followed him back into the room. Stepping inside felt strange. The night before felt years away. He stared at the balcony as the feeling of dread solidified and settled in his core.

He felt Zuko step up behind him, wrapping his arms around his torso as he placed a soft kiss to the nape of his neck. “Beloved….” 

“She threatened my people. My family.” He felt a sigh against his neck. “How can you still defend her?” 

“What exactly were you planning on doing?” Zuko snapped. “Did you want to kill her, right there in the hallway? Start a war? She’s still my sister, Sokka. And the look in your eyes- it wasn’t you-”

“Too savage for your taste?” he spat bitterly. 

Zuko didn’t respond. He turned Sokka back around, searching his eyes desperately. “I don’t know what she wants out of this. But I won’t let you or Katara get hurt,” he promised. When Sokka failed to reply or soften, he sighed and stepped back. “I believe my love for you has condemned you. I suppose this is the end of us?” 

Sokka’s eyes widened. No. They were supposed to have more time together. They were supposed to have more nights for themselves. But how could he ask that of Zuko? How could he ask Zuko to give him every night until that horrific wedding after which he would belong to Azula? It sickened him to his core. 

But then, why wasn’t Zuko angrier? Why did he simply accept it all? Didn’t the idea of being without Sokka hurt him at all? 

Except he  _ was  _ hurting. Sokka could see it in his eyes. His expression was the same one he had when he spoke to Azula and Ozai at dinner, the same one he had when Sokka first met him. He didn’t want Zuko to use it with him. 

“Is it that simple for you?” Sokka whispered. Zuko’s jaw clenched, but he remained speechless. “Is this how you want to live your life? Having everyone around you move the pieces around, bending to everyone’s whims? Is that all it takes?” 

The way Zuko looked away from him made Sokka’s anguish and anger flare. “We both knew this wasn’t meant to last, didn’t we?” 

Without thinking, Sokka surged forward and put his hands on either side of Zuko’s face, forcing him to look him in the eyes. “Can you let me go so easily?” He looked at Zuko with frantic eyes. “Tell me then. Tell me how to see what we have the way you do, how to let go of it.” His hold tightened, as if he could pull the emotion from his face. “Tell me how to live without you after everything, Zuko. Tell me. How do I let go of you?” 

Zuko didn’t speak, but his breaths turned unsteady. His eyes glistened with unshed tears. His silence felt like the final sentencing. 

Broken and hollow, Sokka let him go and stepped away. He didn’t want to speak anymore. Not if he was talking to a wall. 

He walked past Zuko numbly, but before he could take more than five steps, he felt a hot hand on his forearm stopping him. In an instant, he felt himself get turned around, and suddenly Zuko was kneeling before him holding onto him to keep him in place. He was shaking, like he was barely keeping himself together. 

“I think the spirits made our love to mock us,” he said softly. “They blessed us in finding each other, but they did it for the entertainment of watching us fall apart. I’ve dreaded it from the moment I first kissed you.” He looked up, eyes wide and full of grief. “I don’t know what to do, Sokka. I don’t have the power to make this go away. I don’t want to let you go, I  _ never  _ want to let you go. The agony it fills me with is so fierce that it  _ suffocates  _ me, but I can’t afford to break apart.”

Slowly, Sokka knelt down to meet him. He pulled both of his overheated hands between his own and brought them close to his chest so that Zuko might feel every thump of his racing heart. 

“Lover of mine. Lover of mine. Lover of mine,” Zuko whispered. “Mine. No one else’s. But this is not our perfect world. Our nights don’t last forever.” 

“Zuko….” 

“Tell me what you would have me do, my beloved. I’d run away with you right now if it didn’t mean the lives of so many others would suffer because of it. I’d nullify the decision if it were in my power. Even now, I swore to myself to maintain my composure when this moment came, and I couldn’t. Not if it made you think I never cared.” Zuko let his forehead fall to Sokka’s shoulder. “What must I do to prove to you this is the hardest thing I’ve had to do?” 

“Don’t let me go,” Sokka begged. “Not like this.” 

Zuko pulled his hands free and wrapped them around Sokka, allowing them both to collapse against each other. “I won’t.” 

\--

Sokka arrived at Katara’s with a heavy feeling in his chest. He knocked on her door before stepping inside to find his sister brushing her hair. When she saw his expression, she dropped the brush and brought him into a hug immediately. 

“Sokka, what happened?” 

He sat her down and began to walk back and forth as he explained the ultimatum he’d been given. He told her everything, right down to Azula’s threats in the hallway. 

Katara’s expression hardened as he spoke. “Who do they think they are threatening us like this? If they think they can force either of us into something like this-” 

“Katara, I have to give my answer by tomorrow. I can’t risk saying no and giving them a reason to take it out on the tribe.” 

“How do you know they’re not lying about the North? Maybe they just want to manipulate us.” 

Sokka shook his head. “I think what Ozai said about the North is true. I think the reason they want us is a lie. Whatever reason the Northern Water Tribe has fallen out with the Fire Nation has made them turn to us because they think we’re weaker.” He sat down beside her and put his face in his hands. “I need to say yes. For the protection of our people. To protect you.” 

“We’re going to find a way to stop this,” Katara said certainly. “We should write to Mai. She knows Azula better than anyone. She might know something.” 

“Zuko’s writing to her,” he said. “He’s filling her in. There’s no way she’ll respond by tomorrow.” 

Katara nodded and kept a clenched fist close to her chest. “Say yes for now. But this won’t be the end of it. We’ll stop it. We’ll figure out what they want and use it against them. We’ll figure something out.” She put an arm around him and shook her head. “She’d better hope I don’t see her. I’ll-” 

“Katara, we can’t do anything to her. We’re on her territory. We could start a war. I snapped and it didn’t even faze her. Like she knew I couldn’t do anything to her.” 

His sister sighed and scowled at the ground. “I should write to Dad and Gran. They should know what’s happening.” 

Sokka nodded and watched her stand to go to the small desk in the corner of the room. While she wrote, Sokka busied himself by twirling the royal ring that now hung at his neck from an inconspicuous little string between his fingers. A symbol of Zuko’s promise. This wasn’t the end of everything they’d built.


	17. About Sacrifices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I was switching to Saturdays but for once I finished earlier and I'm excited so.... Happy Friday night! 
> 
> Thank you all for your comments!!! I get the biggest smile on my face when I see them. Your support means so much to me<3 
> 
> I wanted to host another Instagram Live Stream, most likely between 5-7pm central time Sat Nov 7. I know it's late notice, but I hope you guys can make it! I answer questions about the writing process and the story and anything else you might have questions about. My IG is @phoenix_iwsnd I'll be sure to post an hour before I go live (because I'm not entirely sure about the time yet) 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed brainstorming and writing it and a million thanks my lovely mely for being the best beta reader I could ever ask for. 
> 
> Happy reading!

_ Zuko,  _

_ Forgive me for the tardiness of my letter. Azula sent me letters informing me of your “infidelity” and subsequent plans. I wanted to know as much as I could before responding to you.  _

_ I warned you and Sokka to be careful. Azula is one of the most intelligent people I know, and I suppose if anyone found out, it would be her. I believe your guards knew as well, considering how they suddenly became careful about letting me into your room if Sokka was there. I think one of them might have given Azula enough information to piece everything together, especially after her conversations with Ty Lee.  _

_ Ty Lee is with me for some days, and she is as inconsolable as your sister must think I should be. She keeps blaming herself for playing into Azula’s hands.  _

_ I would visit myself, but I’ve had to make your sister believe I’m heartbroken and refuse to see you. As far as I know, she hasn’t said anything to your father. I’m not sure why seeing as it would be the easiest way to remove you from the line of succession, but be sure to stay on guard. Although I am her closest confidante, there is still much she doesn’t tell me.  _

_ You know I hold no ill will toward you, Zuko. I love you dearly, far too much to resent you for feelings you can’t help. As I’ve told you, before anything else, you are my friend. A friend I care deeply about. For this reason, I am breaking our betrothal.  _

_ It is as much for you as it is for me. I don’t want to marry you only to have you resent me in ten years because I’m not Sokka. I can’t bear having you hold me for the sake of giving you successors if I know I’m not the person you love. And I deserve to spend my life with someone who loves me in the way I love them.  _

_ I’d agreed to keep up appearances with you, but now that your sister knows, I’m not sure what good it will do except become the root of bitterness. Don’t worry, we don’t have to make it public yet. _

_ I can only think of one solution that could make it all go away. You must take the crown now. Ask for your trials to be moved up instead of waiting for the solstice. Receive the crown and overturn Azula and Sokka’s engagement. Should their claims about the Northern Water Tribe be true, you still have the power to give the South reinforcements. I’m not sure how you would convince your father to grant you this opportunity, but I know you have limited time. Azula plans to finalize the marriage well before your expected coronation.  _

_ If I find out anything else, I’ll write to you immediately. Trust that I will do what I can to help you. I’m sorry I can’t be there with you through it. You’re strong- it’s something I’ve always loved about you. I know you can make it through this.  _

_ -Mai _

After reading the letter, Sokka returned it to Zuko and watched his face carefully. Exhaustion lined every feature, making him look older. 

They had also come to the conclusion that the only way to fix everything that had gone wrong was for Zuko to become Fire Lord faster. Even if it meant losing the time they were supposed to have together. 

Sokka stood and paced as Zuko handed the letter to Katara so she could read it as well. Zuko’s eyes kept skirting over the space around them as though he were making sure no one else was around to listen in on their conversation. 

Once Katara was done reading and had returned the letter to Zuko, Sokka steeled himself and nodded. “The only person who has any influence over Fire Lord Ozai is Azula. She’s the only one who could convince him to let your trials happen now.” 

“She wouldn’t do it,” Katara pointed out. “If she knows why Zuko wants the crown, she’d make it harder for him. If anything she’d convince Ozai to postpone the trials.” 

“Then maybe we could convince the Fire Lord that crowning Zuko quicker is in his best interest. So long as he doesn’t suspect the truth, he’d have no reason to disagree.” Sokka looked at Zuko. “He mentioned unrest among the Fire Nation citizens. If we can somehow show him that your rule could ease those tensions, that it might even ease tensions with the water tribes, he may be willing to move your trials.”

Katara didn’t look convinced. Her gaze shifted to Zuko. “Do you think you’re ready to face your trials and pass them all? Sokka said your swordsmanship has improved, but if you need more time-” 

“I don’t have more time,” Zuko said in a sharp tone. He shut his eyes and pressed a hand against them, wincing slightly. “Forgive me, Katara.” He moved around the stone table to be closer, to speak in a softer voice while being heard. “I can’t give myself the luxury of more time. Not with Sokka’s freedom in the balance. I can’t watch you marry her when I know I could stop it. If I hadn’t been so stubborn before, I’d have learned to swordfight a long time ago and none of this would’ve happened. I must face the consequences of my actions and trust that I can manage with the skill I do have. I’ve been studying the history and current events of my nation for years, and firebending is second nature. I know I can pass my trials.” He turned to Sokka, giving him a sad smile. “I’ll fix all of this.” 

Within those words, there was a subtle, hesitant warning of a goodbye. It churned Sokka’s stomach and made his heart heavy. He swallowed and tried to focus. There were bigger things at stake. 

“I’m going to speak to Uncle so he can help me make a decent proposal. I’ll see you both at dinner.” With that, Zuko gave a slight bow, letting his eyes linger on Sokka for a moment longer, then turned away to make his way to the front of the palace. 

The last several days had been exhausting in every sense of the word. After Sokka met with Ozai again to inform him that he agreed to the union by marriage, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d signed a permanent life sentence. Katara had been the one to point out the obvious solution to them. 

It had danced in the back of Sokka’s mind, but he hadn’t let himself think it fully. He felt too close to the situation, and his brain had been pulled by other factors, namely the flurry of painful emotions that had coursed through him when Zuko nearly let him go. Along with the fear of the danger he’d put his people in, Sokka couldn’t find the time to think rationally. 

Maybe part of it was also the fear of leaving Zuko earlier than anticipated. If he was crowned sooner, they’d leave sooner as well, and that idea only brought back the debilitating agony he’d felt when Zuko first suggested it. It was a selfish reason to block the obvious solution, one unfit for a future chief. But Sokka hadn’t been thinking with the mind of a chief. He’d been thinking with the heart of one being torn away from the man he loved. 

The nights had become restless, numbered. He feared sleep because it was time wasted. The lack of sleep left him sluggish. On top of it, he had Azula gloating with every wedding ceremony suggestion. She casually mentioned different dress patterns, floral arrangements, or meal options whenever she saw him, and she particularly basked in the fantasies and ideas if Zuko was near. 

The only times she seemed more subdued in her glee was when they both had to appear before Ozai to talk through the politics of their union. It was up to Sokka to let his father know what the terms were, what they could expect of the Fire Nation. He still hadn’t been told what exactly the Fire Lord needed from his people to begin with, but Ozai never gave him the space to talk. He only went on, talking about their marriage, and even the consummation of the marriage as a simple condition of a treaty. Even Azula seemed to blanche at the prospect of having children with Sokka, though it was such a private, restrained response in the form of the slightest twitch of her face that Sokka wondered if that part hadn’t exactly been part of her own plan. 

Somehow, he still couldn’t find any joy in the idea of their marriage causing her as much unease as it caused him. 

Ozai mentioned having Mai and Ty Lee help Azula in her own planning, but Azula waved the suggestion away, insisting she was fine handling it all on her own with a few handmaidens within the palace.

Once, Azula stopped Sokka before he could leave, looking as though she wanted to ask something, but Sokka couldn’t imagine what. Instead, she only curled her upper lip and turned away from him. 

Because of those moments, his time with Zuko was shrouded. The feeling of welcoming silences and nights of unabashed sincerity were gone. In its place there was tension, some of which bled over from their conversation the night Ozai announced the absurd idea. Most of it though, came from the skin-crawling thought that all of Zuko’s touches would be replaced by Azula’s, and it often made Sokka close himself off. 

A hand on shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see his sister looking down at him worriedly. “You’re scaring me, Sokka. I’ve only ever seen people get like this during our long night,” she said. 

“I’ve signed my life away to a monstrous woman, and there’s no certainty that anyone can change that. I feel like the moment I said yes to the proposal, I threw myself into something far more permanent than our long night.” 

She took his hands and pulled him up from where he sat. “Let’s spar. It might help with the nervous energy.” 

Sokka wanted to say no, to pull away and go to his room to rest, but the distraught look on Katara’s face made him oblige. He let his sister pull him toward the open space in the garden. She pulled the water from the pond into a swirl around her and took her stance while Sokka unsheathed his sword. 

As Katara extended her arm, the water whipped out to strike, causing Sokka to step aside and bring his sword down in an arc to split it and stop its momentum. It became muscle memory as Katara attacked and Sokka fended off each one. It wasn’t the same as having someone’s strength to ricochet from, but it kept his mind busy. 

Where Sokka soon found himself drenched in sweat and the splashes of water from when his sword sliced through Katara’s attacks, his sister seemed to have managed without a drop of exertion. 

“I’d love to see how you fare with a sword and no waterbending,” he said breathlessly once Katara had slowly poured the water back into the pond. 

She laughed and finally dropped her hands. “You’re quicker. Sharper. Almost like a firebender.” 

“Well, maybe he’s been teaching me as well.” 

Katara nodded in agreement and followed him as he sat under the shade of the tree by the pond. “Dad thinks Ozai wants to colonize the South Pole so he can have more people in more territory. If he can populate the South with firebenders, the North would back off. With the Earth Kingdom under their thumb and the South Pole in an alliance with them, they might even have the strength to overtake the Air Nomad temples.” 

“So it’s all a big mission to take over the world? One man can’t control everything. He might think he can, but he doesn’t. He can’t control the dissent, the facades. Especially when he stays locked up in his own palace. He has no idea what the people experience.” 

“What I don’t understand is why he’s so set on owning everything when he won’t even be Fire Lord anymore,” Katara said softly. “I think there’s more to it.” 

“There always is with powerful people like this, isn’t there?” 

Before Katara could respond, they heard the palace gates open and a couple of guards walked in with a familiar face between them. Sokka frowned and stood up to meet the guards, but the second Ty Lee saw him, she pushed past the guards and broke into a run until she collided against him. 

“Sokka!” She held him tightly, catching her breath for a moment before she pulled away with large, tear-filled eyes. “Tell me it’s not true. Tell me it’s just another lie,” she pleaded. 

“What?” 

“You and Azula. Is it true? Is she making you marry her?” Sokka stared at her wordlessly, feeling as though his mouth were filling with fur, making it hard to speak. Ty Lee’s eyes shut, allowing her tears to run down her flushed cheeks. “It is then….” 

“How did you…?” 

Ty Lee rested her forehead against Sokka’s chest, slumping against him as though she couldn’t hold her own weight. “Mai sent me a letter. I came right away. It can’t be true. It  _ can’t. _ ” 

“Is she alright?” Katara asked when she saw Ty Lee’s state. Sokka shook his head. He could feel the way her small body trembled under his hands. “Let’s get her inside.” Katara took Ty Lee’s hand and Sokka bore most of her weight as they took her into the palace. They took her to the same room she’d stayed in when she had last stayed with them. 

Ty Lee moved slowly, as though in a daze. Her tears didn’t stop, they only varied in intensity. At times they spilled over, uninterrupted as her expression crumbled, and at times they slowed, dropping in intervals down her otherwise vacant face. 

“We were going to meet Zuko for dinner in his room,” Katara said softly. “Would you like to join us? I’m sure he’d be happy to see you, and you must be hungry after your travels.” 

She shook her head slowly and wiped her face with her hand. “I think I should rest for a bit. I’ll be better in the morning. I’m sorry about this-” 

“It’s alright. You can imagine my own reaction,” Sokka said gently. “I’ll let Zuko know you’re here. Get some sleep.” He pulled Katara away and shut the door, furrowing his eyebrows as he stayed there for a moment. 

“I hadn’t realized her romantic interest in you had become genuine,” Katara said. 

“It didn’t,” Sokka answered. “It’s always been a game.” He began to walk down the hall and Katara fell in step beside him. 

They found their way to Zuko’s room in silence. When the guard alerted Zuko of their arrival, Sokka was surprised to see him with a smile on his face when he opened the door to let them in. As the door closed, he took Sokka’s face in his hands and kissed him through a smile. 

“By the spirits, what’s gotten into you?” Sokka asked, unable to stop himself from smiling back. 

“I spoke with Uncle. We arranged for a meeting with Father tomorrow. He helped me create a plan for what I could do once I’m crowned, starting with freeing the shopkeepers, and it hit me.” Zuko took Sokka’s hands in his, smiling with unreserved joy. “Mai broke off our betrothal. I won’t have to marry her. And as Fire Lord, I can nullify the law that bans same-sex relationships. Once I overturn your engagement-” 

Hope filled Sokka’s heart until suddenly it felt like the air around him had purified. “We could be together,” he breathed out. 

“Without hiding,” Zuko said, nodding as his smile grew. He turned to Katara and added, “I could make sure the South is protected from the North without conditions. It’ll all get fixed.” 

Katara smiled back and nodded. “I believe you can do all of that and much more, Zuko. But we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves. First we have to be sure Ozai agrees to moving your trials. Then we have to be sure you pass them all.” 

Zuko cleared his throat and nodded, but his smile didn’t waver. “I can do it. I have things to fight for.” He looked back at Sokka, letting his gaze soften. “I have to fight to be with you.” He laughed, overcome with renewed energy that slowly seeped into Sokka as well. “Come, let’s have our dinner on the balcony. Zhabdi brought it in just before you both arrived.” 

As they moved to the balcony, Katara informed Zuko about Ty Lee’s arrival. With the surprise on his face, Sokka had a feeling Ty Lee hadn’t told anyone she was coming, and had simply done it at an impulse. 

“She was very upset,” Sokka said. “Once I confirmed what Mai told her, she just… it was like the life seeped out of her.” 

“I’ll send some food to her. Hopefully she’ll eat something,” Zuko said softly. “It’s unusual for Ty Lee to be solemn, but Azula’s actions have a way of turning anyone bitter.” He sighed and moved his food around his plate. 

“Zuko, forgive me if I’m imposing, but… if you become Fire Lord, what will become of your father and sister?” Katara asked. “I can’t help but feel they may want to manipulate you during your reign.”

Her words reminded Sokka of something similar Iroh had said a long time ago. He looked at Zuko, searching his expression for any changes. He knew Zuko wanted to believe his family had a chance at redemption, but Sokka couldn’t see it. Not after everything they’d done to him. 

“You sound like my uncle,” Zuko said with a tired smile. “I…. I believe the people will only feel at peace if my father is imprisoned.” He said it softly, as if he worried they might be overheard. “The Fire Nation is still full of anger and hurt as they face the repercussions of my father’s choices in the war. Uncle believes that by imprisoning him, it would show the people that I disagreed with his methods and might help them trust me a bit more. As for my sister….” He let out a sigh and shook his head. “I know you both see her as a monster. And I understand why, but you must understand- this is what my father has turned her into. Everything she does is to gain his favor, just as she’s done since we were young. She was different before he warped her.” He looked away, staring at the gardens below. His gaze turned distant for a moment before he refocused. “I’ll get her help. Somehow.” 

Sokka looked over at Katara. He saw his own uncertain disbelief reflected in her face, but they knew better than to voice it. Instead, Sokka reached over to put his hand on Zuko’s arm, squeezing lightly. “Well, the first step is talking to Ozai. Things will fall into place, beloved.” 

As they ate, the air around them felt lighter. Zuko’s new optimism quickly soaked into Sokka, allowing him to smile for longer. For the first time since Ozai announced the idea of a union, Sokka didn’t feel like his time with Zuko was sinking beneath Azula’s shadow. 

Once dinner was done, Katara left for her room, bidding them both goodnight with tight hugs. Zuko asked the guard at the end of the hall to have a plate of food sent to Ty Lee’s room and once the guard was gone, Sokka slipped back into Zuko’s room. 

As usual, Sokka found it hard to fall asleep, but Zuko entertained him by placing feather-light kisses all over his face. Some were playful little pecks, and others were gentler, more reverent. They made Sokka smile as he ran his hands up Zuko’s arms. 

“I missed seeing your smile,” Zuko murmured against his cheek. “Could I ask you something?” 

“Anything,” Sokka whispered. 

Zuko propped himself up with one elbow against Sokka’s chest while his other hand gently ran across Sokka’s cheek to his throat to his collarbone. “Let’s pretend the world is perfect again. I become Fire Lord and we get to tell the world we’re together. How exactly will that work when you have to run a tribe an ocean away?” 

The question pulled Sokka back down from the high place he’d been floating in since Zuko told him they might be able to be together without fear of being caught. “I’m not sure. I don’t become Chief until my dad passes on to the spirit world, but I can’t simply stay here. How would I lead my people if I’m gone until I’m needed?” Zuko laid down slowly so his head rested against Sokka’s chest. “I do want you to know something,” Sokka said softly as he brought his hand to Zuko’s scalp to give him arctic hen pecks. “No matter how far apart we are, no matter for how long, my heart will be yours. I’ll love you across the ocean and over the course of lonely nights. So long as I know I’ll find my way to you again.” 

“We both have duties to our respective people,” Zuko said. “I know that. Perhaps we could take turns visiting each other. I’ll always wait for you. I’ll always find my way back to you.” He pulled himself up to be face to face with Sokka. “I never had a place to call home. After my mother died, this place never felt like home. I spent so much of my youth traveling. Nothing was constant. Even here now, I feel like a visitor in a new place. But with you? I feel like I’m where I belong whenever I’m with you. I found my home in you. I’ll give you my forever.” 

Sokka smiled, gently pulling Zuko down by the nape of his neck to press their foreheads together. “My beloved,” he whispered. He tilted his head up to meet Zuko’s lips and sighed softly at the feeling. Slowly, their kiss deepened, allowing them both to indulge in caresses without anything else shrouding their time together. 

Maybe it was the ecstasy of knowing they had a possibility of being together for longer than they dared hoped. Maybe it was the fear of their nights being numbered. Maybe it was simple yearning for the new touches they’d discovered. Maybe they simply wanted to reclaim the moments they had together. 

Whatever it was, Sokka spent the night pulling sighs from Zuko’s mouth and worshipping his body until he thought he could sculpt him by memory alone. Sleep didn’t feel so difficult then, especially with Zuko holding him so close, Sokka could believe they were still a single body. 

The next day, after a very intense session of sword fighting, they had their breakfast in the style of a picnic near the pond. Ty Lee joined them, and while her eyes were rimmed red, still puffy from both sleep and tears, she managed to eat and smile when Zuko asked how she slept. 

They were nearly done with their meal when Katara suddenly let out a low snarl that Sokka wasn’t used to hearing from her. Her eyes were locked on Azula’s figure across the garden as she walked toward them. 

“Calm and collected, Katara,” Sokka reminded her despite the way dread crept into his own chest at the sight of her. 

While Katara remained seated on the ground, Ty Lee had been the one to get to her feet and close the distance. Azula clearly hadn’t expected to see her if the way her steps slowed was any indicator. Sokka stood, following Zuko as they moved to pull Ty Lee back. 

“What in the name of the spirits are  _ you _ doing here?” Azula hissed. 

“What’s the matter with you?” Ty Lee shouted at her, pushing her back with more force than Sokka expected from her small frame. He had no idea if he should pull her back or intervene, and with the shocked look on Zuko’s face, he didn’t either. They stood back, watching as Ty Lee crowded into Azula’s space with no fear, her face flushed and twisted in anger. “You’re getting married to him? And I don’t even hear it from you, I have to find out from Mai.” She pushed Azula back again. Though Azula grabbed her wrists, she didn’t do much else to fight back. “ _ I  _ was the one you trusted with everything!” 

“Keep your mouth shut,” Azula warned with a low, steady voice. 

“Everything you thought, everything you felt, you told  _ me!”  _

“Ty Lee-” 

“Every secret, every insecurity, every time you cried about your mother’s-” 

“I told you to stay quiet!” Azula shouted, finally pushing her back hard enough to knock Ty Lee to the ground. Katara called for her, and Sokka moved to help her, but Zuko grabbed his arm to hold him back. Azula glared down at Ty Lee, her eyes ablaze with rage and loathing. “You should learn your place when speaking to a princess.” 

“This is why you lose everyone,” Ty Lee spat. Her voice shook, but her words dug themselves deep into Azula, and Sokka could see it in the way she stepped back from her. “You call me a weakness, you manipulate everyone, you lie to everyone, even yourself, and no one stays because- because….” Ty Lee stood, clenching her fists helplessly. “You’re cruel, Azula. It’s too much.” 

Sokka felt like he was intruding. He looked over at Zuko, but Zuko’s attention was fixed on his sister, watching her reactions. “Sokka, get Ty Lee away from her,” Katara whispered behind him.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” Ty Lee whispered. 

Azula stepped closer. Her eyes were wide, her lip curled into a sneer, and she kept twitching like she couldn’t keep her expression under control. “You’ll regret every syllable that fell from your mouth,” she threatened. “Get out of my sight.” 

Ty Lee shrunk back and began to shake. Katara finally stepped forward to pull her back, but Ty Lee wasn’t done. Before she let Katara lead her away, she looked Azula in the eyes, and in a steady, soft voice, she said, “I hate you.” She turned away, walking into the palace with Katara at her side while Azula stared at the spot she’d been standing, frozen. 

“Azula?” Zuko said softly, trying to pull her out of it. “Are you alright?” He reached out to touch her shoulder. “She doesn’t-” 

“ _ Don’t  _ touch me,” she snapped, jerking away from him. She refocused, letting her eyes bounce from Zuko to Sokka. She ran her hand over her hair, flattening any runaways, and took a breath. She smiled at them, suddenly the picture of absolute composure. But Sokka could tell something was off in her eyes. She was distracted. “Father tells me you asked for a private meeting with him.” 

Zuko’s jaw clenched, and he stepped slightly closer to Sokka. “I did. It doesn’t concern you.” 

“I’m certain it does,” she said. “The only things you could be meeting him about is my engagement to your dear friend here or some feeble attempt to overturn the sentences for the Boiling Rock prisoners. Those were my doing, so having you refute them… well, you can see how that might suggest I’m incompetent, and… we both know I can’t stand to have anyone question my intelligence.” 

“I’m not questioning your intelligence,” Zuko said, reverting to the flat tone he tends to use when he needs to keep his composure around family. 

“What exactly do you plan to do, Zuzu? You can’t overturn anything without the title of Fire Lord. Not the peasant merchants. Not the wedding. Not even-” She stopped talking, her eyes narrowing as she fixed her gaze on Zuko. She walked toward him slowly, one corner of her mouth pulling up into a knowing smile. “Ah, that’s it, isn’t it? You want to move your trials in hopes of getting crowned sooner.” 

Sokka clenched his jaw. He kept his own face neutral, refusing to let her have the upper hand. 

Azula let out a humorless little laugh and crossed her arms. “How rash, Zuzu. Do you really think you can pass those trials?” 

“I know I can,” Zuko said with a slight snarl to his words that only amused Azula. 

“Big brother, that hubris will ruin you,” she warned. She laughed to herself and looked away distractedly. For a brief moment her smile fell, and her eyes clouded over. It seemed like she was suddenly somewhere else. Then she turned to Zuko abruptly, smoothing her hand over her hair again before musing, “I have been getting bored of the waiting game. I suppose speeding things up will be infinitely easier.” She hummed and then looked at Zuko again. “I’ll do your work for you, Zuzu. I’ll convince Father to let your trials happen sooner.” Her eyes fell on Sokka, and the smile paired with the wild look in them made Sokka fight back a shiver. “I’ll even postpone the wedding for it.”

“Are you so certain I’ll fail?” Zuko asked. The hurt that tinged his words pierced through Sokka, and he wished his cruel sister didn’t have such a hold on him. He had nothing to prove to her, nothing to prove to his father. 

Azula only lifted her chin. “Don’t say I never did anything for you, Zuzu.” She turned away from them, only stopping to add, “And make sure that ungrateful carbon copy finds her way home before crossing paths with me again.” 

Once she was gone, Sokka and Zuko picked up what they’d left near the pond to take it back to the kitchen. “Why would she help you get what you want?” Sokka asked. “I don’t trust it. You should still meet with your father.” 

“I will. Azula just seems so certain that I won’t succeed. If I’m not crowned, then she is. If she thinks I won’t succeed, then I’m not speeding up my own coronation; I’m speeding up hers.” 

They walked in silence for a moment. It all boiled down to whether or not Zuko’s skills with bending and a sword were enough to win. That’s what their future and the future of thousands of people depended on. 

What Sokka couldn’t shake from his head was the question of why Ty Lee reacted the way she did. It was too reminiscent of his own response. He also couldn’t imagine that if anyone else had pushed and shoved and yelled at Azula the way Ty Lee did, they would’ve been dragged away to be imprisoned or worse. 

“Why did Azula call Ty Lee a carbon copy?” he asked Zuko. 

“Ty Lee is a septuplet. She has six other sisters mostly identical. It’s always left her feeling invisible. Until she became Azula’s right hand along with Mai when we were younger. It’s why she had always been so loyal to her, why she always preferred being here at the palace instead of home. But ever since that fight at the beach, things just haven’t been the same between any of them.” A furrow appeared over the bridge of his nose, but he didn’t voice his thoughts. 

They left the dishes with the kitchen staff, thanking them before they left to meet with Iroh. Zuko wanted to go over his statement for his father. Sokka wondered if he’d mention what Azula said or not. 

When they reached his room, Iroh had already stewed a kettle of tea. He welcomed them in and sat them down, pouring them each a cup. “This will relax you, Prince Zuko,” he promised. “Where is your sister, Sokka?” 

“Keeping Ty Lee company. She came to visit.” Sokka looked over at Zuko wondering if he should divulge all the information or not. 

“We’ll explain everything later, Uncle. Right now, I need to be sure my proposal is enough to convince my father. He told me to meet him before lunch.” 

Iroh nodded and pulled out a scroll. As he rolled it out, Sokka saw Zuko’s handwriting, quick and frantic across the parchment. He waited patiently, watching as Zuko rewrote it with a steadier hand, only occasionally asking for his uncle’s feedback. The tea didn’t seem to relax him at all, but Sokka knew how much was weighing on that thin parchment paper. 

“I should go now,” Zuko said once he’d read over his statement again. “I need to be sure there’s enough time to negotiate if I must without my father being distracted by the prospect of lunch.” He rolled up his scroll and stood, looking himself over as if to be certain not a single hair or thread was out of place. 

Sokka stood and took his face in his hands gently. “Zuko, my dearest,” he said softly. “No matter what happens, we’ll find a way to fight.” He pulled him into a hug so he could whisper into his ear without being overheard by Iroh. “No matter what, I’m yours.” 

“For as long as we have,” Zuko whispered back. 

“And long, long after that,” Sokka promised. He pulled away and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Go. Send for me when it’s all over.” 

Zuko nodded and let out a nervous breath before he smiled and left. 

Once he was gone Sokka turned to Iroh and raised an eyebrow. “Do you think it will work?” 

Iroh’s expression turned solemn. “He has the potential. It all depends on what Fire Lord Ozai wants, and whether crowning Prince Zuko earlier will benefit him. For now all we can do is wait.” Sokka frowned and pushed his fingertips against his temples, hoping to fight the dull ache that began to spread along his skull. Iroh pushed another cup of tea towards him. “Drink. We’ll have our answer soon enough. It won’t help you to run yourself into the ground with worry.” 

Sokka nodded and took the tea. Some of the tension in his shoulders dissipated, but the worried thoughts in his head never quieted. “Thank you, Iroh. I’m going to find Katara so we can wait to hear from Zuko.” He bowed respectfully then left the room. 

When he reached the guest hall, he hesitated at Ty Lee’s door. After a moment of debate, he knocked and called her name. 

There was a brief moment where nothing happened. He knocked again, and in the middle of the third rap, the door opened. 

“Sokka. Are you alright?” 

“I should be asking you that,” Sokka said, taking in her splotchy face. “Can I come in?” She nodded and stepped aside to let him in before closing the door. He walked around the perimeter of the bed before turning to face her. “You know, the way you reacted… was very similar to the way I wanted to react when I was told I’d have to marry Azula.” Ty Lee grimaced and moved to sit on the bed with her back to him. “But your tears weren’t for me, were they? Your flirtatious comments have always been light-hearted when it comes to me.” 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Ty Lee said tiredly. 

Sokka sighed and moved to sit beside her. “I’m not going to be like her and trick you into giving me answers. I won’t cloak my questions in observations.” Sokka waited for a moment, but Ty Lee didn’t say anything back. “What is there between you and Azula?” 

“Nothing,” she responded. 

“Well… what  _ was  _ there between you and Azula?” 

Ty Lee turned away from him and curled further into herself. “Where is this even coming from?” she asked in a soft voice. “We’ve been friends since we were little kids. She made me feel more special than my sisters. Being near her and Mai, I felt like I belonged. She’s always been the leader, but growing up…. It’s just all so different now. She doesn’t tell us anything, and half of what she does tell us are lies. And now… she was too much of a coward to tell me about her decision to marry you.” She pushed her hand through her hair, causing it to come undone. She turned to look at him with new tears falling down her face. “There’s never been anything between me and Azula besides her using me as a lackey all our lives. Not even friendship.” 

Her words paved the way for more tears that made her body shake in a way that had her trying to curl further into herself. Knowing Azula, knowing the ways of the Fire Nation, there was no way the princess would risk anything. For all Sokka knew his hunch was entirely wrong to begin with. 

Then Ty Lee collapsed against him. He wrapped his arm around her, trying to offer the support he could. “I didn’t mean to upset you further-” 

“No, it’s not you,” she said. “I should’ve known. I should’ve known the moment she told me I was a weakness. Nothing would ever be the same after that day at the beach house.” 

“The day you argued?” Sokka questioned. “Is that what she said? That you were weak?” 

Frustrated, Ty Lee pulled away and shook her head. “ _ No.  _ Not me. It’s- Oh, spirits, I don’t know what I can say-” 

"Alright, it's alright, Ty Lee. I won't ask anything more." He placed a hand over hers and squeezed gently. "Will you be staying or going home?" 

"I might go stay with Mai. I'm waiting to hear back from her." 

"I see. If you want to take some air, my sister and I would be more than happy to walk with you. Whether that be in the gardens or along the streets of the city." He stood and offered his arm. "Lunch will be soon if you'd like to join us." 

Ty Lee smiled and shook her head. “Maybe later. I need to make sure I don’t look like such a mess.” 

Sokka nodded and excused himself with a slight inclination of his head. He left her room and went to Katara’s only to find that Zuko was already there. He turned to look at him, brightening at the sight. 

“There you are,” Zuko said. “Apparently Azula stayed true to her word. My father agreed to my request before I could even give my explanations.” 

“Why does that make me more uneasy than anything?” Sokka asked, moving toward Zuko to wrap his arms around him. 

“I was thinking the same thing,” Katara said. 

“Regardless, it’s a victory that deserves celebration. We’ll have a special lunch. Starting tomorrow everything I do, all of my training has to intensify tenfold.” He smiled at Sokka, a challenging glint in his eyes. “Do you think you can help me with that?” 

“Absolutely. In fact, if Katara’s up for it, she can help push your training even further.” 

Katara grinned and nodded. “We’ll help you get that crown, Zuko,” she promised. 

Zuko smiled gratefully at them both. Sokka could feel the hope that built around them with the prospect of the changes they wanted to make. It felt naive to indulge it though, especially when so much rested in the hands of cruel rulers. Sokka didn’t want to admit it, but if things didn’t go well, he fully intended on sweeping Zuko away. If they turned him away from the palace, Zuko would go home with him and Katara. He knew it wasn’t what Zuko wanted, or maybe it wasn’t what he felt he should do, but the possibility was there. 

They had their lunch in Zuko’s room, clearing the table of bottles and ointments to set the food down. Ty Lee joined them before they could start eating. She looked refreshed. Her hair was wet, her face looked clearer, and there was a new kind of strength in her eyes. 

Throughout their lunch, they laughed, but were careful not to bring up what the future had in store. They couldn’t allow themselves the luxury of creating hopeful futures, and the alternative was far too terrifying to plan for after a small triumph. 

While Zuko went to find Iroh and fill him in on what he’d missed, Katara and Ty Lee left to take a walk in the garden, and Sokka helped the servant return everything to the kitchen. 

When he left the kitchen through the dining room, he saw the Fire Lord and the princess finishing their own meal and froze. He bowed awkwardly, feeling his throat close. 

“Did you need something?” Azula asked. 

“No, Princess. I was only helping the staff after we had lunch,” he answered curtly. 

“Go on then,” the Fire Lord said, gesturing to the hallway. 

Sokka nodded and left. He made it halfway down the hall when he heard the distant murmurs in the dining hall. He returned as quietly as possible and pressed himself to the wall, sending prayers to the spirits that guards wouldn’t find him. 

“-a weakness. We don’t. At this point they’re playing perfectly into our plans. No matter what they do, no matter what happens, we get the South.” 

“A pity that our nation has come to depend on an uncivilized little piece of land to succeed. As soon as we secure the South, we will lead an attack on the North for their hand in plummeting our economy,” Ozai said slowly. “I trust that you will ensure that siege is successful?” 

“Of course, Father.” Pride filled Azula’s voice, sending a chill through Sokka. “I’ll send for the masters to arrange the trials within a fortnight.” 

Sokka tensed when he heard footsteps, but they seemed to be receding. He heard the heavy doors open and peeked around the hallway entrance to see if they’d both left. Instead, he found Azula’s cold eyes fixating on him as a smug grin stretched across her face. 

“Southerner,” she said calmly. “Did you hear anything useful?” She stepped forward, meeting him at the entryway. “Don’t look so frightened. No matter what you heard, it won’t be of much use to you anymore. I’ve ensured my success in all possible paths.” 

“Why do you want the South Pole?” Sokka asked. 

Azula grinned. “Fish. I’ve told you this. Really, what kind of ruler will you be if you can’t retain information?” 

“Fish wouldn’t topple your nation’s economy. Not enough to need us the way you do.” 

“Maybe not. You can’t do anything about it, so there’s really no use in you knowing.” She shrugged. “Though I suppose it won’t matter if you do. There’s no stopping it anymore. Your land has a fresh, untouched supply of oil. We used to get our oil from the North, but they began to raise taxes for exports ever since their little avatar princess mastered the four elements. They think they’re powerful, and they made an enemy out of us. By uniting our people, we get your oil for our earthen factories without worrying about taxes or lack of loyalty. As my father said, this is the most peaceful route, which I imagine you’d like best. I wouldn’t be opposed, however, to running your little tribe to the ground and simply taking the resource if we had to.” 

“Oil. That’s what this is all for?” Sokka scowled and clenched his hands at his side. “Has this been the plan from the start? To bring me here and plot this marriage?” 

“Not quite,” Azula admitted. “You made it so much easier by indulging in a pathetic little romance with Zuzu. You exposed your own weakness and created one for your tribe and for poor Zuzu. It’s to be expected that it becomes used against you, don’t you think?” 

She smiled and walked past him to walk away. 

Before Sokka could stop himself, he said, “Is that why you pushed Ty Lee away?” There was no answer but the abrupt halting of her steps. He turned to face her, but she had her back to him. “She was your weakness. You couldn’t have anyone exploiting that, could you?” 

Azula turned so quickly, it had Sokka taking a step back in fear. Her eyes were wide, her mouth curled into a vicious sneer. “What did that little circus freak say to you?” she hissed, stepping forward. 

Sokka couldn’t help himself. He smiled, even as he stepped back from her. “The perfect princess isn’t as perfect as she’d like to be?”

“Watch your tongue before I have it cut out!” 

For once, Sokka had the upper hand. He’d manage to break Azula’s composure. He knew it could come back to hurt him later, but he had to revel in the glory of it for the moment. While she stared at him, wide-eyed and tense, Sokka bowed calmly. 

“My apologies. I’d hate to be unable to say my vows at our wedding, Princess.” 

She didn’t respond. She only turned and walked away briskly. Meanwhile, Sokka took his time walking back so the adrenaline of the moment could dissipate.

They had a fortnight to prepare. A fortnight before their fates caught up to them. 


	18. About Fragility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday!!!!   
> Technically I have an hour until it's Saturday, but I'm tired aha  
> Please consider leaving comments/kudos and sharing with fellow zukka shippers! <3 it makes me really happy to hear from you all. If you missed the livestream, the second half is up on my IG under the IGTV tab! It was fantastic to talk to some of the readers. And no worries, I plan on another when the story is over. Just be sure to follow my IG so I can get feedback on when a good day/time fits for everyone. (IG: @phoenix_iwsnd )
> 
> DISCLAIMER/WARNING: some vivid descriptions of severe injuries 
> 
> Happy reading!! - Phoenix

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The days leading up to the date of Zuko’s trials proved strenuous. Zuko spent his time alternating his training between Sokka, Katara, and Iroh. He pushed himself to the brink of exhaustion but refused to slow down. His exertion made him hungrier, so when he wasn’t resting or sword fighting or firebending, he was eating.

The nights were longer. When darkness encased the city, Zuko would simply read over whatever recent news there was about the Fire Nation’s cities or review one of the scrolls about its history under torchlight. 

After Sokka told him what Azula’s true plans were, Zuko had delved into all the newspapers he’d stored, berating himself for not catching onto the fluctuations of the economy and the strained relationship with the Northern Water Tribe. So much of it had been covered up by news about the avatar or a new tariff or a riot that broke out in a factory or the debate over the morality of mixed Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation families that had begun to spread through the lands. 

More than once, Sokka had arrived at Zuko’s room to find him slowly drifting to sleep against his palm as the scroll he was reading unrolled into his lap. 

Halfway into the fortnight, Zuko’s weariness was physically visible in his face. His hair was no longer carefully brushed and pulled into its royal topknot, it was often pulled up into a messy little swirl with runaway hairs frizzing out around his face. Grey half-circles formed under his eyes after days of sleeping so little, and what sleep he did get was often restless. 

During the last handful of days before the trials, Sokka had taken it upon himself to coax Zuko away from the papers and into a tub of warm water to relax him. He tried his best to create stories and retell the ones he knew from his tribe while he placed arctic hen pecks along his scalp at night in an effort to ease him into deeper sleep. He demanded more breaks between his training and tried to slow Zuko down with occasional kisses when privacy permitted it. 

Now it was the evening before the trials. Sokka had to pry Zuko out of the training room and into his own room to get some rest. He’d managed to ease him into a tub of warm water that Zuko easily warmed up when it became lukewarm. The water was infused with some fragrant oil that Sokka read was meant to calm and relax a person. It was soft and sweet and encased them without becoming an overwhelming scent. 

Sokka grabbed the rag that he’d dipped into a cream that bubbled with the water and smelled a bit mouthwatering, reminding Sokka of one of the fruits he liked to eat for breakfast. He ran it across Zuko’s back gently, watching the suds streak his skin. 

“Are you nervous?” he whispered. 

“I’m terrified,” Zuko admitted. “I know I can pass the Elders’ trial. I’ve studied the Fire Nation’s history rigorously. I trust my firebending skills, but I don’t know who I will face. There are many benders with greater skill, and for all I know my father will face me himself. And immediately after that, swordbending. The sword masters we have are lethal. While I don’t doubt your skills, I doubt my own.” 

“These worries won’t help anyone, beloved,” Sokka whispered.

The water swayed and sloshed over the edges of the tub as Zuko turned to face him. “I know. There are so many people’s lives at stake. They’re counting on my triumph. I can’t sleep without thinking about how Chiara might be doing, if she misses her father. I wonder how the warden is treating them at Boiling Rock. The guilt I feel about doing nothing to get them out-” 

“You’re doing what you can,” Sokka insisted.

“And if it isn’t enough? If I can’t win?” 

Sokka leaned forward and placed his bubbly hands on either side of his neck. “My dearest…. Where is all that talk of love and hope that fueled you? You told me you had reasons to fight. For the shopkeepers, for Chiara, for every citizen in the Fire Nation who’s been hurt by your father. For me.” 

“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let all of you down,” Zuko whispered.

“You won’t let anyone down. Even if you lost, the fight wouldn’t end. We can arrange for a prison breakout if we must.” Zuko scoffed and shook his head with a fond smile. “I mean it. I’ll perfect my underwater ship and we can get them all out. We’ll lead a rebellion against your father. I’m sure even the avatar would be interested in helping. We’ll become masked vigilantes for both our people, a wolf spirit and a blue spirit keeping everyone safe.” 

“Sokka….” 

“Don’t mull over it any longer. Let’s finish washing up so we can get rest. You need it if you want to perform your best tomorrow.” 

Without another word, Zuko nodded. Sokka touched their foreheads together for a moment before kissing his cheeks and continuing to lather him down. 

Once they were dry and clothed, Zuko sprawled himself on the bed and sighed heavily. Sokka knew he was sore. He’d been sore for most of the days in the past fortnight, often wincing if he moved his arms a certain way or if he sat too abruptly. 

Sokka scavenged the bottles on the long table by the balcony doors and found a tub with a creamy substance inside that had a sharp but soothing scent. He’d used it to rub Zuko’s worn muscles before, despite Zuko’s insistence that he didn’t need it. Wordlessly, he leaned over Zuko and spread the cream along his shoulders, pushing his fingertips into the tense curves. 

As he lathered the cream on, Sokka felt the strange temperature change of it, a burning coldness that sharpened his senses. Zuko sighed and went limp, occasionally grunting as Sokka’s hands worked over him. 

“I thought the healer in your family was Katara,” Zuko said, his voice muffled by a pillow. 

Sokka laughed softly as his hands traced the outline of Zuko’s torso. “I remember being younger and seeing my parents do this for each other after long days. Mom would be tired from running after me and Katara or being bent over new pelts and Dad would be tired from a voyage or from a day of hunting. In our igloo, they’d rub each other’s shoulders while one of them told us a story and the other brushed Katara’s hair for bed.” 

A soft hum came from him. “From what I’ve heard of your parents, they seemed to have had a special kind of love. A beautiful one.” 

“I think so too. You know, they used to write letters to each other.” 

He looked over to see Zuko’s head turned to one side, the one without his burn. A smile tugged at his lips. “Did they?” 

“Yes. Although their letters were never scratched out and censored.” 

“Oh,  _ Sokka!”  _ Zuko’s leg twitched to nudge against him in exasperation. It only made Sokka laugh as he leaned over to place a kiss to his cheek. 

He nudged Zuko gently as his laughter softened. “Come on, into my lap so I can get your arms.” 

Slowly, Zuko turned over and shifted to lay between Sokka’s legs with his back against his chest. His wet hair felt cold, but Sokka didn’t mind. He began to work his hands over Zuko’s biceps, occasionally placing a kiss on the crown of his head. 

By the time he was done with both arms, Zuko had fallen asleep. Sokka couldn’t help but laugh. He couldn’t imagine it was a comfortable position to sleep in, but he didn’t dare jostle his beloved now that he’d finally allowed himself to rest. He carefully propped an extra pillow behind himself and draped his arms over Zuko before letting himself begin to drift to sleep. 

It took some time, but just before he could sink deep into the embrace of sleep, he felt someone gently cradle his head with one hand before nudging him to lay down all the way. 

“Not even the Moon and the Sea loved each other as much as I love you, my dearest Sokka,” he heard Zuko whisper into his ear. He wanted to respond, but he was already so deep under the blanket of unconsciousness that he couldn’t get his mouth to move. Zuko pressed against him, pulling Sokka’s arms around himself before going still. 

And with that, Sokka let sleep overtake him. 

When he woke, Zuko hadn’t moved from the same position of being on his side. His breaths were slow and deep, entirely relaxed. He must have slept deeply if he hadn’t shifted throughout the night. Sokka couldn’t blame him. The exhaustion of the past several days must have finally caught up. 

More than anything, he wanted to lay there and hold him, watching the morning light spread across his skin slowly. Sokka knew his first trial with the Elders would be soon. He’d have time to eat, maybe a few moments of leisure time. If he didn’t want to rush, he would have to wake soon. 

Sokka touched his shoulder and shook him gently. He leaned down to whisper in his ear, trying to coax him slowly from sleep without startling him. 

Zuko groaned as he stretched and reached out for Sokka. “I feel heavy,” he muttered. 

“Does anything hurt?” 

Zuko shook his head and opened his eyes. “No. I’m just dreading today.” 

He didn’t want to tell Zuko not to worry. He didn’t want to tell him it would be fine or offer his own strength because he didn’t have enough of it. He didn’t want to lie. At the end of the day, either Zuko would be banished again or he’d be accepted as the successor to the throne. Either way it would change their futures and the futures of hundreds, thousands of people. It was enough pressure to leave Sokka with an uneasy, twisting feeling in his stomach and in his chest. He couldn’t imagine how Zuko felt. 

“Whatever happens, I’ll be at your side,” he promised. 

Zuko smiled and sat up to kiss him slowly. 

Sokka left to find Katara so they could join Zuko for breakfast in the gardens when he was dressed. Iroh had promised to meet them with some tea as well, in hopes of soothing all their nerves. 

The silence that settled over them even when they were together felt denser. It felt thick and suffocating. Sokka could barely stomach the fruit and bread on his plate. Katara kept nibbling mindlessly on her food. Zuko ate, but for all he seemed to be aware of, he could be eating the stones that scattered around the pond. 

Iroh seemed to be the only one handling the stress well. Sokka supposed that years of being a general in a war might have taught him to handle things like this. At the moment his sanity felt like the only thing grounding them all. 

"Prince Zuko, it's nearly time," Iroh said, eyeing the sun rising in the sky. It wasn't quite over the wall, but the pink hue of the morning was almost entirely gone. "We should go to the Elders." 

"We'll go with you," Katara said. Sokka nodded in agreement. 

Iroh nodded and kindly asked a guard near the palace door to send their plates to the kitchen. Sokka felt shame creep in his cheeks at the idea of someone cleaning up after him, but he couldn't spare the time to take a detour now. 

Iroh led them through the halls and up a flight of stairs. Sokka hadn't seen this part of the palace before. Azula stood at the end of the hall with her arms crossed and unfolded them when she saw the group walking towards her. 

"What is this, a support group?" she said with a quirked brow, her gaze dripping with condescension. 

"I suppose you wouldn't know what it's like to have people who care about you staying at your side," Katara snapped, her voice full of unfiltered distaste. Sokka tensed as Azula's lip curled, but Iroh quickly diverted the attention. 

"They won't be in the room. I'm the one escorting Prince Zuko," he said. 

Azula composed herself and gestured to the door. "Father said you could go in whenever you arrived." 

Zuko nodded and turned to Sokka and Katara. "I'll see you when I finish. I'm very confident about this one." 

Sokka nodded and pulled him into a hug. He didn't care about Azula's speculation. She already knew so much and stayed quiet, and with what Sokka suspected of her, she hadn't been as blatant with her veiled threats or comments. 

"Show them what a leader is capable of," Sokka whispered. He let go and Katara took his place with a softer hug that didn't last quite as long. 

"We'll wait right here for you," she said. 

Azula's face pinched as she watched, but she remained quiet as Iroh led Zuko into the room. Azula followed after them, not sparing the siblings another glance. 

Sokka and Katara paced the hallway as they waited. Eventually they sat beside each other on the floor with Katara rubbing his back soothingly as Sokka kept his head between his knees to keep from letting his nervousness overwhelm him. 

They heard footsteps from the end of the hallway and Sokka looked up to see a guard with two familiar figures behind them. 

Ty Lee had left shortly after her arrival, so it was surprising to see her at Mai's side now. 

Sokka and Katara stood to meet them halfway, but their greeting lacked its usual enthusiasm. Sokka thanked the guard for leading the ladies to them and once the guard bowed and left, he turned to Mai and Ty Lee. "What are you doing here?" 

"We came to see the trials, what else?" Mai pointed out. "We would have arrived earlier if we knew his first trial was so early. How long has he been in there?" 

"We can't say for sure. The time drags for Sokka, and my mind has been racing. We're not sure how long this is supposed to last anyway," Katara said. "Azula and Iroh went in with him." 

"This is entirely based on knowledge," Mai said. "There's no way they could hope to trick him. And the Elders are better at being unbiased." 

"Is the next trial the Agni Kai or combat?" Ty Lee asked. "Has the Fire Lord announced who his opponents will be?" 

"After this trial, there will be a break. The Agni Kai will begin when the sun is at its highest and the combat trial will begin at sunset. We don't know who he's going to go up against, but he suspects Ozai will face him in the Agni Kai," Sokka said. "He thinks it'll be some sort of redemption for the Agni Kai when he was younger." 

Although Mai had an admirable control over her reactions and emotions, Sokka could see the frustration it all gave her. He could see fear and anger in the way her face paled and her mouth thinned into a line. Ty Lee, on the other hand, wore her worry clearly on her expression. 

"Why don't we all worry on the floor together?" Katara suggested, pulling the ladies along by their hands. They sat lined up against the wall in various forms of distress. 

Finally, the door to the trial room opened and the four of them immediately got to their feet. Two old women with sagging faces and skin creased with wrinkles stepped out. Their white hair was pulled up tightly. They looked unimpressed with the small audience and walked down the hall without a word. Ozai followed after with Iroh flanking him. The Fire Lord arched an eyebrow at the sight of them before nodding in acknowledgement at Mai and Ty Lee who both bowed respectfully. Iroh smiled but followed his younger brother, continuing a conversation they must have been in the middle of. 

Azula followed after him, freezing at the sight of Mai and Ty Lee. Her eyes flickered to Sokka, ablaze with something feral as though he were to blame for their presence. Zuko came up behind her looking peaceful, and his expression brightened at the sight of new additions to his support. He stepped past Azula and greeted Mai and Ty Lee with a hug and a smile. 

"You don't know what it means to have you both here," he said before standing beside Sokka. 

"How did it go?" Ty Lee asked. 

"It was easier than I thought it would be. The Elders were very pleased," he said, clearly proud of himself. 

"You both came to support  _ him?" _ Their gazes shifted to Azula, drawn by the venom in her voice. Her stare bore into Mai, wild and betrayed. "After what he did to you, you still care for him?" 

"Love is not a fragile thing, Azula," Mai responded, keeping her voice leveled. 

Azula stepped forward, narrowing her eyes as she stared Mai in the eyes. "You already knew." Sokka felt his stomach flip. "And you still…." Azula stepped back as blood filled her face the more her rage grew. "You knew about  _ them  _ and you stayed at his side? You lied to my face. You were  _ mocking  _ me-" 

"I wasn't mocking-" 

"Do not interrupt me. You will show the proper respect for your princess," Azula sneered. "You chose your side. And I will make sure you regret it." 

Mai tilted her head up, refusing to back down before Azula. 

Azula's cold, golden glare settled on all of them in turn. That wild thing simmering behind her eyes grew, whisking away the version Sokka had come to know with her composed facade and smug smiles. This version which so clearly exposed her turmoil and anger unsettled Sokka more. 

She let out a frustrated snarl and turned away from them. Once she turned at the end of the hall, Sokka let out a breath and searched for Zuko's hand. He needed to feel his reassurance if only for a moment. Zuko squeezed back, keeping their hands hidden with his robes. 

"What did she mean?" Ty Lee asked. "What did you already know?" 

Mai's brows furrowed together. "It isn't for me to say," she said. 

Despite the way Mai brushed it aside, Ty Lee's gaze shifted to Zuko and Sokka. Katara always said he wore his heart on his sleeve. The second Ty Lee looked at him, something seemed to click, but she didn't say anything. She just nodded and looked down the hallway. 

"We should get some air. Rejoice in small victories before the next trial," Katara said. 

"The Agni Kai will be held in front of the palace," Zuko said. "I'll feel somewhat at ease if I can practice a bit there." 

They began to walk down the hall, and Sokka let his hand slip from Zuko's. 

"Don't overexert yourself, Zuko. You already look exhausted," Mai noted. 

"I won't. Just a few warm ups so I can feel comfortable in the space." 

Sokka didn't make a comment about how they'd already spent so many days walking around the palace grounds from the day Sokka first arrived. By now even Sokka thought he could walk the space blindfolded with ease. 

They spilled out in the front of the palace and went down the steps. The air outside felt like a relief after staying in the hallway for so long without a way to tell the time. From what Sokka could tell, their break between trials wouldn't last very long. The sun was nearly overhead. 

They sat along the bottom steps, watching Zuko, watching the sun's movement. At one point Ty Lee sat beside him. She was quiet for a moment, then finally said, "I wondered why you asked the things you did. Why it seemed so clear, so simple to you." 

"It isn't clear or simple," Sokka said. "I don't understand what you could see in someone who treats you the way she does." 

Ty Lee frowned and nodded. "It's no wonder she hates you as much as she does." Sokka wasn't sure what to make of that, but he didn't get a chance to answer her before she laughed. "By the spirits, that explains so much. I take it the South is more understanding about those kinds of things?" 

"It's a natural way to feel. It's the Fire Nation that treats those emotions and relationships differently. I really don't understand why." 

They heard the palace door open, and Sokka felt a cold weight tug at his body. He looked at the sky to find the sun at its highest. 

He stood and turned, staying close to Katara as he saw Iroh come down the stairs with a distressed expression on his face. 

"Speculators should remain on the outskirts closer to the wall for safety," he said gently. 

They walked past Zuko, but Sokka had to get nudged along by Katara as he fought the urge to break away from them and take Zuko far from the palace. He locked eyes with Zuko, hoping to muster the love and worry into the gaze. 

"Not even the Moon and the Sea," Sokka called to him. Zuko smiled and nodded. 

Sokka looked up to see Ozai stepping out as guards placed a high-back chair at the top of the steps for him to sit in. Azula stood at his right, looking triumphant. 

"The Agni Kai will begin at my command," Ozai said. 

"Against who?" Ty Lee questioned. 

It shouldn’t have been a surprise. Sokka should’ve seen it coming from the moment he heard about the trials. He couldn’t help but feel frustrated with himself for not putting the pieces together sooner. 

Azula stared at Zuko with her signature cold, vicious smile as she walked down the palace stairs. 

From where Sokka stood, he could see the way Zuko’s body tensed. Then suddenly, he was walking forward briskly, fists at his sides. When he spoke, his voice was louder than he’d ever heard it used with Ozai and Azula, steadier, unwavering. 

“No! Not again! I won’t partake in an Agni Kai with my sister!” he shouted. Sokka felt Katara’s hand on his arm, squeezing hard enough to have her fingernails digging into him. Meanwhile, Zuko turned to Azula, speaking loud enough to be heard across the space, but in a softer tone than he’d spoken to his father. “Azula, we  _ don’t  _ have to do this!  _ Please.”  _

“Don’t you ever get tired of your own cowardice, Zuzu?” Azula said, letting her smile drop into a bored expression. 

Ozai stood from his seat and stepped forward, looking down at Zuko with a disgusted sneer. “You recall what happened the last time you refused to fight back,” he said in a low voice. “I trust you’ve learned since then. What kind of leader can’t defend himself?” 

“Not Azula,” Zuko said, remaining steadfast. 

“Fine. I’ll end this quickly so I can take my throne,” Azula said as one hand reared back. As she punched forward, a large stream of ocean blue fire burst from her palm, reaching as high as the arches on the wall around the palace. Sokka gasped and jerked back reflexively, pushing his hands out to keep the women behind him. 

Thankfully, Zuko’s reaction time was quick. He’d rolled over one shoulder away from Azula’s line of attack. The floor where Zuko stood moments ago was seared, but Zuko was safe. 

She didn’t give him the time to breathe. The fact that he’d dodged the attack seemed to anger her. She scowled and brought her leg into a roundhouse, with flames blazing in its trail. They spread out toward Zuko quickly, and Zuko brought his arms up into a block, with them, his own red fire blasted up to intercept Azula’s. 

“Azula, stop!” he begged. 

“Not until the rest of your face matches your eye,” she said with a wild grin, eyes blown wide. She looked unhinged. 

Sokka felt a hand grip his outstretched wrist. He managed to break his gaze to look at who it was and found Mai staring at head with wide eyes filled with tears while her other hand covered her mouth with trembling fingers. After a brief look at Ty Lee and Katara’s faces as they reflected streaks of blue and orange light, he could see they were just as horrified by the events unfolding. 

He turned his attention back to flames in front of them. The heat of the fires was stifling. They seemed to grow as they swallowed the wind that usually offered a reprieve of the heat, and the resulting rise in temperature made the palace look wavy, made it hard for his eyes to accommodate. 

“Get back, all of you,” he heard Iroh command. He pushed them all back until they were pressed against the wall that surrounded the palace. 

“Why are Azula’s flames blue?” Katara asked. “Is she using some sort of power enhancer?” 

“No,” Iroh answered. He looked like he’d aged another fifty years as he watched. Sokka’s attention snapped forward when he heard Zuko yell his sister’s name again. “She fuels her firebending through pure hatred,” Iroh said flatly. “It makes her more powerful. It turns the flames blue, but it makes them more dangerous.” 

“Come now, Zuzu, you know you can’t beat me,” Azula shouted. She moved so agilely, limbs arching gracefully as the blue fire shot forward, growing until they collided against Zuko’s defensive shields. “I’ve always outperformed you! I’ve always been more powerful.” 

Her entire body pitched forward as a wall of fire shot forward. Zuko stepped aside, meeting the blast with his own so he had time to retreat. 

“How does this trial come to an end?” Sokka asked despite the dread he felt about hearing the answer. 

“One opponent must burn the other,” Iroh answered. 

Sokka knew firebenders were fireproof to a certain extent. It was their bodies’ way of surviving their own abilities. He couldn’t imagine how powerful the fire had to be to manage to burn your opponent. 

“Either give up or fight back. You’re embarrassing yourself,” Azula said. 

“I won’t hurt you,” Zuko said stubbornly. 

“Don’t flatter yourself. You couldn’t even if you tried.” She swung one leg across, managing to distract Zuko as he brought up a barrier of bright yellow flames to fend her off. With the momentum of that foot, she turned until she faced away from Zuko, and brought her leg up into a back kick that had another stream of blue fire shooting at Zuko. He barely managed to kick his leg out to intercept it before he collapsed to one side, having lost his balance. 

“I thought you’d put up more of a fight, Zuzu,” Azula taunted as she stepped toward him.

“Zuko!” Sokka shouted as he rushed forward despite Iroh’s warning. “Get up!” 

Zuko got to his feet, immediately stepping away from the direction Sokka was. “Sokka, get back! Stay with the others, you can’t interfere!” 

Azula’s gaze shifted to him, her expression twisting into a scowl. She looked past him before her mouth curled into a feral grin. “Weaknesses have no place in the heart of a Fire Lord,” she said. 

Behind him, he heard Katara shriek his name. Azula punched her hand out, palm first, and a blazing fire shot toward Sokka. He heard someone scream and suddenly a hard weight collided against him hard enough to knock his breath from his body, and he was tumbling back. Arms wrapped around him, and heat encased him entirely, but the light wasn’t blue- it was orange. 

As they collapsed and rolled against the floor, he felt Zuko’s hand cradling his head, shielding him from the fire with his own body. Without wasting a second, Zuko stood and hauled Sokka up. His forehead was bleeding but he must not have noticed, or he didn’t care. He only shoved Sokka back and shouted, “Go! With the others!” 

There was a frantic, feral look in his eyes that chilled Sokka to his core. The scowl that twisted his face had him resembling Azula more than ever as he turned and launched his first counter-attack. A tall wall of flames burst forward, leaving Azula to dodge and blast herself backward with the momentum of her own fire to get away. She ricocheted off the stairway, building to a backflip that had another line of fire reaching for Zuko.

The distance was too far, and Zuko had more than enough time to sidestep it, but instead, he walked forward as if to meet it head on. He extended his arms to either side of himself before bringing them together in front of him, creating a sharp shot of flames that parted Azula’s blue flames to either side of him. 

All the passive defenses were gone. If Azula’s frenzied, wild-eyed expression said anything, she knew it too. Her hair had come undone, her sleeve was torn, and rage coated her features. She walked forward, sending short blasts to distract Zuko, but he sidestepped them and warded them off with quick blasts of his own that blocked them. 

He turned his body outward as Azula swung her arm and sent another wave of fire at him. He retaliated with a kick that unleashed a larger wall of flames, enough to have Azula blocking with her blue fire for once. The tongues of fire that came from Zuko felt hotter and looked bigger.

She let out a furious howl. As the flames died down, she lifted a hand with two fingers aiming up. Something cracked in the sky. 

“What is that?” Sokka asked under his breath. 

“Lightning,” Ty Lee whispered. 

“ _ Lightning?”  _

“Lightning bending is a subset of firebending,” Iroh said. “We banned it from Agni Kais.” 

“The throne is mine,” Azula shrieked. From the clear blue sky, a bolt of lightning zapped down, meeting her fingers as it crackled and snaked around her arm. “I want to make sure you know one thing, Zuzu. I won’t bed him. He’ll wind up dead before the marriage ceremony is over!” 

What happened next was too fast for Sokka to follow. One moment Azula had lightning at her fingertips and Zuko in her line of sight. The next, all he could see was blinding white. 

And then he heard a scream. Something guttural, and agonized. As the white flames turned red and the smoke left behind dissipated, Sokka saw Azula’s form writhing on the ground. 

Ty Lee screamed into her palm beside him. Mai collapsed to the floor. Zuko was frozen, arm extended, eyes wide and unseeing. Blue fire fell from Azula’s mouth as she screamed and wailed. She thrashed and Sokka could see the seared flesh along her neck bubbling and blistering as her hands shook and hovered over it, desperate to soothe but afraid to touch. 

Without thinking, Sokka ran forward to wrap his arms around Zuko. The collision of their bodies seemed to snap him back into breathing again. Violent tremors shook through his body even as Sokka held him. 

“You’re okay,” Sokka reassured, wincing as Azula’s keening pierced the air. “You won.” 

“Azula,” Zuko croaked. “Az- Azula.” 

He walked past Sokka in a daze before breaking into a run with Katara and Sokka behind him. Iroh, Ty Lee, and Mai were near Azula, unsure whether they should get closer. The princess was on her hands and knees now, clawing at the charred ground as she pressed her forehead further down against it. Ty Lee was crying, stifling the sound against her palm as Mai held her by the shoulders.

Zuko knelt by Azula and reached out, barely touching her shoulder before she recoiled sharply and shrieked. “Don’t touch me!” 

It wasn’t until they heard slow, steady footsteps that their attention shifted from Azula. Ozai walked toward them until he was in front of his children, looking down his nose at them both. 

“Get away from her,” he said in a flat tone. Zuko hesitated, but Iroh moved to pull him back and help him stand. Sokka immediately stood on his other side while still keeping Katara behind him. 

Azula pulled herself up with her hands, looking up at Ozai with a teary face. This close, Sokka could smell the charred skin, the burnt strands of hair. Her flesh shone pink, red, raw, moving in a nauseating way as she craned her neck up. 

She opened her mouth to speak, but Ozai didn’t let her. 

“What a disappointment,” he said, his voice dripping with disgust. Even Sokka felt his words pierce him sharply like a blade of ice. Azula’s eyes widened and her face went slack. “My plans will not falter because of my own weak offspring.” He lifted a hand, and for a moment Sokka thought he might strike her. Instead, the two guards who’d flanked him at his seat moved in. “Take her to the healer. Once she’s stable, escort her from the palace premises.” 

“What?” Zuko asked, stepping forward again only to be held back by Iroh’s arm. 

“Father?” Azula’s voice had never sounded so small.

“You have lost your honor and are now banned from the palace,” Ozai said, narrowing his eyebrows. “All that training and you get defeated even after trying to use a banned move. You are a disgrace to this family name.” He turned away and walked back up the stairs. 

“Father…?” The way Azula’s voice cracked almost made Sokka try to console her. Her face looked pale, and she seemed to be shaking. As the guards moved toward her, she let out a screech that had them all flinching away from her, only to make them stumble backwards quickly as fire streamed from her mouth and her hands, keeping everyone back. 

Just as everyone seemed to stabilize themselves, Sokka saw tendrils of water slither toward Azula and wrap around her wrists, body, and legs, locking her in place with a vice grip. While her mouth remained free, the only thing that fell from it were screams. 

Sokka looked for Katara only to find her with her hands outstretched. The little water pouch she usually had tied at her side was uncapped. “I’ve got her,” Katara said. “I won’t block her mouth because with how frantic she is, she might choke.” 

“Is it hurting her?” Zuko asked. Katara shook her head. “The guards will lead you to her room. Ming, please send for the healer on your way there. I’ll meet up with you all in a moment. I need to have a word with my father.” Iroh joined Katara while Mai and Ty Lee lingered behind for a moment. Zuko walked past them, and Sokka immediately fell into step with him. Before they could get far, he stopped and turned to Sokka. “Go with Katara. You’re hurt and she can heal you. I’ll return to you soon-”

“No I’m-” Sokka stopped as he looked himself over and realized he had light burns on his arms. After noticing it, he realized the sting of fresh burns trailed up his back and along his legs. Being so close to Zuko’s protective fire must have left its damage. Still, Sokka shook his head, willing the adrenaline to return so he could continue ignoring it. “No. After seeing your sister try to kill you and the way your father rendered her useless with a few words, I refuse to leave you alone with him. Unless it’s an order, I’m not leaving your side.” 

A furrow appeared above the bridge of Zuko’s nose. “Very well, my beloved,” he whispered. They walked together and Zuko’s eyes softened as they looked at him. “Forgive me. I tried to protect you as best I could in my fire sphere.” 

“It was this or dying. I’ll be fine,” Sokka assured him. They walked into the throne room where Ozai was sitting with a hand at his head as though he had a headache. 

He lifted his head and raised an eyebrow when he saw Zuko walking toward him. “Hm. I suppose you deserve commendation for your victory-” 

“I don’t want commendation,” Zuko said sharply. There was more emotion in his voice than Sokka had ever heard from him when speaking to Ozai. “I came to demand that you allow Azula to stay in the palace.” 

“Demand?” Ozai repeated, his lip curling up in a way that was very similar to Azula’s. Ozai grunted and waved a hand dismissively. “Do what you want with her. With you as the only heir, there’s no point in having you continue the trials. The Agni Kai restored your honor and Azula’s burn clearly marks the loss of hers. Though I suppose you’d like to know how this affects your tribe, Swordsman.” Sokka tensed as Ozai’s gaze shifted to him. “Now that your betrothed is unsuitable, your arrangement is clearly over. I did see the way your sister restrained and subdued her. With proper reward I suppose Ukano would understand if I broke the engagement in favor of a new one…. We can smooth the details over later.” 

“Excuse me?” Sokka said with a snarl, his hand itching to grab his sword. “My sister is not some piece of meat to-” 

Zuko grabbed his shoulder to settle him before looking at his father. “I will not marry Katara. As you said, I’m the sole heir, and that means I’ll be in charge of future political choices. The elders themselves said I understood our nation’s history and current events better than any ruler before. The alliance between the Southern Water Tribe and the Fire Nation will exist without being bound by a forced marriage.” 

The Fire Lord sneered and placed his hand at his head again. “The spirits will reward me greatly for having to handle the caprices of such ingrate children,” he muttered. “Very well. But when the nation falls apart in your hands, remember that you will have no way of managing. You need my guidance. And that means accepting things that you seem so quick to deem immoral. Power is hard to hold onto, Zuko. And a weak link in the chain of a mighty line of rulers can let it slip from his fingers all too easily.” 

His words only made Zuko hold his head higher. “You may be part of my council when I make decisions… but you will no longer tell me what I must do as an order.” Zuko bowed, but it felt almost like a mocking action. “I’ll return to go over the plans for my coronation once we’re both rested tomorrow.” He lightly tugged Sokka so they could leave. 

As Sokka looked over his shoulder, he noticed the way Ozai’s eyes followed them, looking murderous and full of fury. They left the throne room and Zuko immediately began to walk faster, allowing his facade to fall away. 

They hurried through the halls until they reached Azula’s room. Mai and Ty Lee were seated in a corner of the room, and they immediately stood when Zuko and Sokka came in. Azula looked dazed and spaced out; Katara’s water no longer bound her. 

“What happened to her?” Zuko asked as he moved to her bedside. 

“The healer had to give her poppy’s breath to minimize the pain so he could work on her,” Iroh said gently. 

“I gave her a small amount, so I have limited time to work on her wounds,” the healer said. “Forgive me, Prince Zuko, but I must ask you to step back.” 

Zuko let Sokka pull him back. His eyes were wide, and his hand slowly came up to the burn on his face. Even from where they stood, Sokka could see that Azula’s burn was much worse than it looked at first. The healer had torn the fabric of her shirt to expose her collarbone and shoulder, where some of the fabric still clung to her melted skin. The burn snaked up to her earlobe, even skewing the hairline by her neck. She still twitched and groaned when the healer wiped her down. 

Katara offered to help Sokka with his wounds, but it didn’t seem right. Not when Azula’s wound was so much worse. Zuko watched in silence as the healer smeared an ointment over the blistered flesh and bandaged her up. 

“She might fall asleep for a while, but the pain will eventually wake her. It’s best for her not to be alone. The guards are already posted outside, but-” 

“I’ll stay,” Zuko said. “Thank you.” 

The healer bowed and left the room. Mai stood and walked over to Zuko. “We should eat something-”

“How am I supposed to eat knowing what I did to my sister?” he snapped. He sighed and hung his head in shame. “I’m sorry. You aren’t the one I’m angry with. I’m not hungry, but I’m sure the cook will prepare something if you ask. Uncle, could you take them, please?” Iroh nodded and stood to lead them out. Zuko held out a hand to stop Katara from leaving. “Could you stay for a moment?” he asked. 

Sokka shared a look with his sister. He had a feeling he knew what it would be about, but he stayed quiet. She nodded and stayed where she was. 

“We’ll bring you some food on the way back,” Mai said to them. “Come on, Ty Lee.” The three of them left and the door shut. 

Katara and Sokka watched Zuko carefully. He moved to sit at his sister’s bedside. 

“When we were little, Azula always wanted me to stay with her until she fell asleep. She didn’t like the nighttime. If she woke up, she’d go to my room and crawl into bed with me. As if I could protect her at that age.” He took her hand and held it gently between his hands. “I remember when I first got my bending. It took longer than expected, and it was just before Azula began to develop hers. But I burned her on accident and she cried. She looked so scared of me.” Zuko laughed softly. “It was a game of catch and I got too excited. My father was furious. I promised her I’d never hurt her on purpose.” 

As he spoke, Sokka could hear the affection in his voice. The love he had for his sister was so pure, so similar to the one Sokka held for Katara. It made a knot form in his throat to hear of these younger, innocent versions of them. He looked over at Katara and saw her eyes welling with tears. 

“Out there today… I just reacted. I got so scared when she aimed at you, Sokka. I reacted to her words. But I never wanted this.” He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to her hand. “I broke my promise.” 

“My dearest, it wasn’t your fault, she tried-” 

“This isn’t about what she did,” he said sharply. “She did what she was told to do. She did what would please our father. I attacked back when I said I wouldn’t. I left her this way.” He stood slowly, gently setting Azula’s hand back down on the mattress. He turned to Katara and fell to his knees in front of her with his head bowed. “You’re a healer. I know it might sound crazy to you after everything she’s done. But I’m imploring you to heal my sister. I’ll do absolutely anything.  _ Please,  _ Katara.”


	19. About the Rebellion in Resilience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the tardiness of this one. 
> 
> Happy Reading <3

Zuko’s expression contorted as the silence settled. 

“She tried to kill my brother,” Katara said in a low voice. “In my opinion, she deserves far worse than-” 

“Please,” Zuko begged. “I don’t want her to live the rest of her life with a mark of what I did to her. I don’t want to be like my father.” 

Hearing Zuko compare himself to his father caused Sokka to flinch back. Zuko was nothing like Ozai, and he never would be. But from where he stood, he could see the burn mark that covered Zuko’s eye and spread along his scalp, warping the tip of his ear and skewing his hairline. He’d touched it enough times to have the coarse rubbery feeling of it engrained in the memory of his palm. While Zuko had come to terms with it and no longer felt self-conscious of it even with Sokka, he knew that it must have taken time. It must have hurt to heal. Even now the scar itched at times. 

For the rest of his life, Zuko had the mark of his father on his face. While Sokka had never asked him for a recount of that night, he could see it in Zuko’s eyes when he absentmindedly touched it. He could tell Zuko relived the moment, always remembering what it was like to be fourteen and hurt by someone who was supposed to protect you. 

While Sokka held resentment for Azula and everything she’d done, everything she threatened, he couldn’t bear for the burn to leave Zuko to live in shame for the rest of his life. Zuko would look at her burn for the rest of his life and blame himself because he was better than Ozai. Because he loved her. 

Sokka looked at his sister and wondered if he could do what Zuko was doing. If Katara had threatened Zuko and ended up hurt, would he fall to his knees and do absolutely anything to help her, especially if she’d been hurt by his own hand? 

“I’m not asking you as a prince, but as a brother. I’ll-” A light cough had Zuko turning around abruptly. “She’s waking up.” He stood and rushed to Azula’s side as another hoarse cough shook her body. A mangled moan slipped from her mouth and Zuko let his hand hover over hers uncertainly. 

As Azula came to, Sokka touched Katara’s shoulder, meeting her gaze. She let out a sigh and pressed her lips into a thin line as she looked back at the royal siblings. “This wouldn’t be for her,” Sokka whispered as strange, garbled noises and whines came from Azula. “It would be for Zuko.” 

Katara narrowed her eyes. Suddenly a scratchy cry came from Azula as she sat up, wide-eyed and frantic. She scrambled back from Zuko and opened her mouth, but whether she was going to scream or let out a stream of flames, it cut off in favor of a pained wail. The princess’ hand went up to her neck where the wound had been bandaged, but she jerked it away immediately as though she’d shocked herself with the touch. 

“Azula, calm down,” Zuko begged. “You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.” He reached for her, but Azula screeched. The effort of the sound had tears welling in her eyes, and the defiance quickly melted into a sound of agony. “Please stop screaming, you’re going to hurt your throat more,” Zuko said as he stood to give her space. “The burn is affecting your voice. I can get the healer to give you more poppy’s breath to ease the pain-” 

“No,” Katara said flatly. She stepped forward, eyes locked on Azula. She looked over at Zuko and nodded. “I’ll heal her.” 

Katara’s words had Azula throwing pillows all around her. If she couldn’t shout or use her fire to scare them, she seemed to have no problem reverting into childish tantrums to keep them back. 

“Stay. A-way,” Azula said with a vicious glare. Her voice sounded so guttural and strange that Sokka touched his own throat and gulped, almost feeling the pain for himself. 

“Azula, she wants to help you,” Zuko said, moving closer. 

Azula threw another pillow at him and screamed. She hunched over, her long, black hair falling like a frazzled curtain around her. “Don’t. Need.  _ You. _ ” 

Katara let out a frustrated huff and turned away. “If she wants to suffer through that, it’s perfectly fine by me. Let’s go, she obviously doesn’t want us here.” She walked to the door and turned to see if Sokka would follow. But Sokka didn’t want to leave Zuko alone. 

Zuko sat down on the edge of Azula’s bed. “Think of this as a nightmare,” he whispered. Azula stared at him in confusion but said nothing. “If you just let me help you, I can make it go away. Just like when we were little.” Tears built in Zuko’s eyes, and immediately, Sokka stepped toward him. 

“Dearest, you’ve done all you could. If she doesn’t want help-” 

“No!” Zuko said stubbornly. “She was taught not to ask for help. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t need it. She doesn’t know how to want it. I can’t leave her like this. Maybe everyone else has given up on her, but I won’t.” He turned to Sokka as his tears fell down his cheeks. “I’m not asking you to forgive her, and I’m not asking you two to like her. Just please understand why I refuse to abandon her. She has no one else.” He turned away from Sokka and stared at his hands. “You can both go if you’d like. You’ve no reason to stay here.” 

Sokka leaned over to take his nearest hand. “I’m with you,” he vowed. He felt Zuko squeeze his hand gratefully.

Katara walked back over and sat on a bench at the foot of the bed. She didn’t say anything, but her expression had turned softer. 

When Sokka looked back at Azula, he was surprised to see her so still. She was staring at Zuko with wide eyes, her mouth twitching as if she wanted to speak or scowl or maybe her pain was so great it made her lip quiver. 

Zuko took advantage of Azula’s silence to speak to her again. “You won’t have to leave the palace. I won’t allow it. I already told Father he had to let you stay. Azula, I take no pleasure in hurting you. I never wanted this. Even at your worst, I never wanted to be a reason for your pain. In spite of everything, you’re still my little sister. I don’t want you to suffer the way I did. Healing is a long, arduous journey, one you don’t have to take if you just let Katara heal you.” 

“I think Mai and Ty Lee would also be relieved to see you healed,” Sokka said softly. At Ty Lee’s name, Azula’s gaze shifted to him, a mix of fear and hope in them. “They only left to get something to eat, but otherwise, they never left your side.” 

After a moment, Azula whispered, “Will it hurt?” 

“It might sting. The process is just normal healing sped up, so it’s forcing you to regenerate new, healthy skin. It isn’t painless, but it won’t be the same as the burn, and it’ll be over much quicker,” Katara said. 

Azula nodded slowly and removed the bandages, wincing as it clung to her skin with the sticky ointment and raw skin. Katara stood and got onto the bed so she could kneel beside Azula as she uncapped the little vial at her side. Katara took a breath and coaxed the water out with one hand. Her second came up to mold it into a sphere and slowly she pressed the water against Azula’s shoulder. She spread her hands to extend the water, letting it cover the expanse of the burn. From her shoulder to her collarbone, up her throat, up to the bottom part of her ear. Once the water covered the wound, Katara’s expression narrowed, and she moved her palms slightly from side to side, making the water swirl. It began to glow, giving Azula’s skin a blue tint. 

The healing made Azula grit her teeth, and one hand clamped down over Zuko’s free hand. Whether she’d simply meant to grasp her covers or if she meant to take Zuko’s hand, Sokka wasn’t sure.

“It’s alright,” he said. “It’ll be over soon.” His expression contorted as though he were feeling the pain for himself. 

Sokka watched the water glide over Azula’s skin. It looked as though the healthy skin she did have was stretching, slowly but surely beginning to seal the seared flesh. The next time Azula let out a yell through gritted teeth, it didn’t sound as gravelly. Her legs began to kick out at nothing, and tears welled in her eyes again. 

“Is it working?” Zuko asked. 

“Let her concentrate,” Sokka said. “It takes a lot of energy to heal. One like this takes time. But it does look like it’s working. The burn is already half its original size.” 

Azula hunched forward, and Katara’s hands moved with her. The princess let out a sob and dug her nails into Zuko’s hand. He kept whispering reassurances, but they didn’t make a difference. Finally, Katara extended her fingers, letting the water slither over Azula’s neck before returning it to her vial. 

The skin that had been charred and blistered was now a soft pink, like Azula had simply stayed under the sun too long. 

“There. It’ll feel a little tender right now, but that should go away in a few moments,” Katara said, more to Zuko than Azula. 

“I’d like to be left alone,” Azula whispered, staring at the covers in her lap. 

Zuko began to protest, but Sokka placed a hand on his shoulder. “Let her rest. Keep a guard posted at the door, and we can come back to check on her. We’ll bring food.” He pulled Zuko up gently. He let Sokka pull him to the door, followed by Katara. 

“If you need anything, send for me, Azula,” Zuko said.

As the door shut behind them, Sokka noticed that Azula hadn’t moved at all. He had never seen her look so broken; he never thought she could. The guard by the door bowed when Zuko exited, but otherwise didn’t move. 

Before they could get far, Zuko turned to Katara and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you. I’m in your debt forever.” 

Katara grinned and pulled away from him. “Just make my brother happy. That’s all I ask of you.” 

Zuko turned to look at Sokka. The anxiety that had swirled in his eyes slowly dissipated, making way for tender affection. He nodded as he looked at Sokka and leaned against him in exhaustion. Despite his victory, celebrations were the farthest thing from his mind. Sokka didn’t want to bring up that he’d have to make preparations to return home now. He wanted Zuko to find some sort of stability after the torrent of emotions and events. 

They walked to the dining hall where Mai, Ty Lee, and Iroh were eating lunch. Their plates remained mostly untouched. 

“How is she?” Ty Lee asked softly. 

“Healed,” Zuko said. Mai and Ty Lee’s heads turned to look at him in shock and confusion. Iroh’s gaze drifted to Katara and a small smile played on his lips. “Katara was able to heal her. She wanted to be alone right now, but I’m hoping I’ll be able to get her to eat later.” 

“Does that mean the Fire Lord overturned her banishment?” Mai asked. 

“I did. I demanded it,” he said. “Tomorrow I’ll have to sort out the preparations for my coronation, but for now… I think we could all use time to rest.” 

While their mealtime remained silent, it wasn’t out of suffocating tension. The silence was borne from shock, relief, a fragile moment of peace they wanted to live in while they could. 

Zuko asked for a plate of fruits and bread slices, but before he could go upstairs, Sokka suggested that Ty Lee should take it. 

Ty Lee’s round face colored slightly. “I’m not sure I’m ready to see her. She might not want to see me.” 

“I’ll go with you,” Sokka offered. “I have a feeling she’d like to see you.” 

A furrow appeared between Zuko’s brows as he looked between them. “I suppose I shouldn’t push my luck,” he admitted. He transferred the plate to Ty Lee’s hands with a reassuring smile. “I’d like to have a moment to speak with Mai anyway. I’ll find you later, then. Perhaps Katara should go with you in case Azula gets restless again.” 

“I can handle Azula,” Ty Lee answered. “I can chi block her if I have to.” 

Despite her confident tone, she still looked at Sokka expectantly, waiting for him to follow her. Sokka excused himself and fell into step with her. Her small frame tensed as they walked, and once they stood outside Azula’s door, Sokka placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“If you really don’t want to see her, I can deliver her food. I’m used to her threats by now.” 

Ty Lee shook her head. “I have to do this,” she said, though it seemed she was convincing herself more than anything. 

A light breeze moved through the room from the open balcony doors. Azula laid on her back, staring numbly at the curtains as they flowed, not bothering to see who had walked in. 

“Are you hungry?” Ty Lee asked. Her voice made Azula twitch, but she kept her gaze on the curtains, watching them settle as the wind died down. 

Slowly, the princess turned to them, eyes narrowing when she saw Sokka. “Did you bring her here, southerner?” Her voice lacked its usual bite. Sokka stayed by the door as Ty Lee moved forward and set the plate on Azula’s bedside. Azula’s gaze followed her, watching her cautiously. “Is this pity? I’m healed now, so I don’t need it.” 

“It isn’t pity,” Ty Lee said as she sat on the edge of the bed.

“Why are you here?” Azula asked. “What crazy things did the southerner put in your head?” 

Sokka felt like he was intruding when he saw Ty Lee’s hand reach forward to push back her hair, but he found it hard to look away when he saw the way Azula’s eyes closed at the touch. Her expression broke, causing her to furrow her eyebrows as she tilted her face a fraction, chasing Ty Lee’s fingers for one weak moment. 

“You said you hate me,” Azula whispered. 

Ty Lee’s hand pulled away as she bowed her head. “I do,” she whispered. Sokka tensed and started devising ways to get them out of there before they could rile Azula up. “I hate you because it’s easier than loving you,” she said. Sokka’s breath caught, and he forced himself to stay still, to remain invisible. 

“What?”

Ty Lee stared at her and shook her head. “I came here to prove to myself that I could face you. I hate what you did to me, Azula. I hate the way you made me feel. Like you could throw me away without feeling a thing. You don’t know how to love someone, and you use them and discard them. Do you know what it takes to love someone like that?” 

Azula’s expression contorted, her eyes shone with unshed tears, but she kept her lip curled. As if by looking angry she could fend off the pain that Ty Lee’s words caused her. 

“Tell me it was all because of him,” Ty Lee whispered. “Tell me it was all so your father wouldn’t know. Tell me it was because you were afraid. Tell me you didn’t know until Zuko and Sokka made it a possibility.” 

“Why love me if I’m such a monster to you?” Azula spat. 

Ty Lee placed her palm to Azula’s cheek. “You’re not a monster. I  _ know  _ you’re more than that.” The moment Sokka noticed Ty Lee leaning down, he forced himself to turn away. A moment later, he heard Ty Lee add, “The day you see it too, you’ll stop being your own weakness. And maybe we could have something good.” She stood and hurried out of the room with tear-filled eyes without even waiting for Sokka. 

He cleared his throat and scratched at his stubble nervously. “I’ll… I’ll let Zuko know he can bring you your breakfast tomorrow morning.” 

He turned away to leave, and stopped when he heard Azula call, “Sokka.” Slowly, he turned around and walked closer to her bed. Her golden eyes flickered to him. “Is it always like that?” 

“Is what always…?” Sokka noticed the crimson glow in her cheeks and the glazed look in her eyes. “Oh.” He smiled as he thought of his first kiss with Zuko and each one that came after. “They get better and better.” 

Azula didn’t respond, but her gaze returned to the balcony where the final streams of sunlight were departing, making way for moonlight. When she shut her eyes, Sokka took it as his dismissal. He left the room and made his way to Zuko’s. 

Despite the early hour, the colder temperatures had brought with them longer nights. Paired with the events of the day, exhaustion and weariness weighed on Zuko’s bones mercilessly. His expression softened when he saw Sokka, but it looked like he was barely keeping himself upright. 

“Is she alright?” Zuko asked. 

Thinking back to Azula’s distant gaze, the lack of venom in her voice, how entirely unlike herself she seemed to be, Sokka wasn’t sure how to respond. “I think she needs rest.” He pulled Zuko into his arms and nudged him toward the bed. “As do you, my beloved. Tomorrow brings promise; you’ll want to greet it with a calm mind.” 

In his arms, Zuko fell asleep quickly. Sokka, however, stayed awake. He watched the torch lights flicker across Zuko’s face and let his fingers comb through his hair gently. Every moment felt precious. Every breath, beat of his heart had carved its place in Sokka’s heart. 

He watched the moon rise over the outer walls of the palace, watched the silvery light flood the room, and eventually felt the need to sleep embrace him slowly. 

The next morning was frantic. Once Sokka had gone to change, he returned to Zuko’s room and watched as he fixed himself up to be the perfect image of a prince. The fear that had resided in his eyes for so long was gone, making way for determination, something steadfast and powerful. A sharp, tangy fragrance followed where he moved. His hair shone with the smallest movement after he slicked it back with scented oil. His hair piece glinted, and his robes rippled around him, following his every moment. 

Sokka watched him carefully as he looked himself over. “You look regal, my dearest.” 

Zuko’s sunlit eyes flickered to him and a smile spread on his lips, making him look a bit younger. “I can feel it in the air,” he said with a tinge of excitement. “Things are changing, Sokka.” 

They took their breakfast out in the garden, as far from the front steps of the palace as possible. Zuko broke away to take a bowl of porridge to Azula, and by the time he returned, Katara, Mai, and Ty Lee had joined Sokka. They moved from the small stone table to the brittle grass, balancing their plates on their knees or leaving them on the ground. 

Ty Lee was quieter than usual, but she didn’t look like she’d been crying. Mai remained composed as ever, but managed a few smiles anytime Sokka told a bad joke as they ate or Katara teased him and relayed embarrassing stories from home. Zuko was quiet, but he seemed at ease. During their meal, he reached out and interlocked their fingers without a second thought. 

At first, Sokka worried about how Mai might react, recalling her request for them to limit their physical affection in front of her, but she seemed unfazed, smiling at Katara as she told them about the festivals at home. Ty Lee’s eyes lingered, but she only gave Sokka a sad smile and began to undo and redo her long braid over her shoulder. 

Zuko had a meeting with Ozai, one which had the potential to last the entire day, and he’d invited them all to go with him. Sokka wasn’t sure what business he and his sister might have being part of a coronation arrangement, but if it meant more time with Zuko, he didn’t mind. Zuko assured them they were all essential, but it was unnecessary for them to stay the entire time. 

When they arrived at the doors of the war room, Sokka had to reign in the surprise he felt at seeing Azula waiting. Her face pinched at the sight of the group, but she didn’t say anything as they approached. 

“What are you doing here, Azula?” Zuko asked, reaching out before thinking better of it and letting his arms drop to his sides. 

“You said you were meeting with Father about your coronation,” she said, as if that answered it all. “What, you don’t want me to be part of the ceremony?” 

“Of course I do, but I thought you were resting-” 

“I’m healed. I’m fine.” She put a hand against her neck gingerly, grazing the spot where her burn had been. The pink flush that it had when Katara had first healed it was gone. Her eyes narrowed as she caught the uneasy look Mai and Ty Lee shared. “I don’t need to be treated like someone on their deathbed,” she spat. 

“Of course. Let’s go in, Father must already be waiting,” Zuko said. He walked in first, his expression dropping into that disinterested, stoic face he always wore when it came to Ozai. With the wide doors open, the group entered behind him easily. 

The Fire Lord sat at the head of the table, watching with narrowed eyes as they walked in. He eyed Sokka and Katara with distaste, but his eyes grew wide in shock at the sight of Azula who came in last. 

“Your neck,” he murmured, eyes narrowing as she walked closer and took a seat beside Mai. 

She didn’t look at him. She kept her face blank, her jaw set as she kept her eyes on Sokka across from her. Zuko sat at the other end of the table with Sokka and Azula on either side of him. Iroh sat in the chair beside his brother, keeping distance between Ozai and Katara that Sokka was grateful for. 

“Very well,” Ozai said slowly. “You’ve gathered your little entourage, Prince Zuko. What now? Would you like a parade for your coronation? Flowers and rice thrown and doves released into the sky to symbolize a new era of peace?” 

His taunts had no effect on Zuko as he lifted his chin. “The people at the table all play an essential role to my reign. I want to start a full council consisting of people from all our nations. Lady Mai and Uncle would be my council for the Fire Nation. If Katara and Sokka agree, they would be advisors for the Southern Water Tribe. I have people in mind for the Earth Kingdom and the Northern Water Tribe, and I would like to extend an invitation to the monks with the Air Nomads. Ty Lee is charismatic and welcoming, so I would like her to be the messenger when inviting the other leaders, again if she agrees to the idea.” 

“And that one?” Ozai asked. Sokka noticed the way Azula’s fingers twitched on the table. “What’s her purpose? She may no longer be banished, but she holds no royal status.” 

“My sister remains royal blood,” Zuko said sharply. “Should anything happen to me, she must take my place. It is essential for her to partake in every meeting I’m in, should she have to step in for me.” 

Sokka glanced around the table. Mai remained composed as ever, Ty Lee looked surprised and a bit excited, while Azula maintained her empty expression. Iroh was watching Zuko with gentle pride, and Katara was watching the Fire Lord with uneasy wariness.

“I see,” Ozai said, clasping his hands together. “You’ve plotted this all out haven’t you?” He narrowed his eyebrows, fixing Zuko with a cold glare. “And where does that leave me? In retirement?” 

“You are my mentor, of course,” Zuko said plainly. Several pairs of eyes flickered to him anxiously, waiting with bated breath.

Sokka briefly met Katara’s eyes, and he could tell she was recalling the same thing as him. The last time Katara had asked what would happen to Ozai, Zuko had told them he and Iroh planned on imprisoning him for the atrocities he committed during his reign. He imagined he couldn’t tell Ozai that outright, and being called a mentor might give the Fire Lord some semblance of a sense of power. 

“This is all so simple to you, isn’t it?” Ozai said with a flat tone. “You think the entire world will get along, happy to be represented by two people in your little council? You still want to please the rest of the world, but that will only show you cannot handle the vastness of the power that is soon to be yours.” 

“The council is only a starting point,” Zuko said. “A leader must listen to the people he rules and create strong alliances based in trust.” 

“ _ Trust _ ,” Ozai spit out. “This nation will crumble apart in your hands within the first few years, Prince Zuko. You live in a fantasy-” 

“You will recall that I spent most years of my youth travelling the world, Father,” Zuko said, interrupting Ozai with a sharp, bitter tone. “The one living in a fantasy is  _ you.  _ You believe that with enough fear you will tame the world at your feet. You make our nation out to be all-powerful and indestructible, but your lack of empathy, your inability to see things outside of your stone walls has blinded you to the truth. People are gaining more and more hate for the royal family, and even in the nations outside of us, there is talk of our fragile state. You have not created an elite nation. You have only strengthened the will of those who want to tear us down. It may take years, yes, but I’ve seen what your version of ruling has brought to our people. It’s time to do it my way.” The steadiness in his voice never wavered. Even Azula stared at him in shock after he was done speaking. 

Sokka had half a mind to lean over and kiss him right there. 

“Anything else you’d like to turn on its head?” Ozai asked with a scowl. 

Zuko smiled, unfazed and confident. “Yes. I want the shopkeepers at Boiling Rock released, along with every person wrongfully imprisoned for speculations of same-sex attraction and gender rebellion. After that, I plan to overturn the ban on same-sex relationships and the ridiculous laws regarding gender-based restrictions.” 

“Oh spirits,” Mai whispered, staring at Zuko with wide eyes. Ty Lee’s eyes sparkled as she grinned and suppressed a laugh. 

Sokka had no idea what he meant with gender rebellion and restrictions, but he couldn’t suppress the smile tugging at his lips. Azula’s gaze was locked on Zuko, as though the man in front of her was a stranger. 

“A progressive decision, Prince Zuko,” Iroh said with an approving tone. 

“This is ridiculous,” Ozai shouted as he stood from his seat. Ty Lee jumped, being nearest to him, but Mai placed a hand on her shoulder. “You want to poison our nation. You want to stain it, you want to make it impure. Your reign will revert us to the uncivilized ways of our ancestors.” 

“It is my decision to make,” Zuko said. “The prison is overfilled with people who have done nothing wrong. While I appreciate your council, it is not something I will change my mind about.” 

“This meeting is over. I will not stand for this-” 

“It is not your choice, brother,” Iroh said simply. “The Elders have approved him for his coronation. We may advise him in any executive choices he makes once he becomes Fire Lord, but in the end they are his decision alone.”

“When will he be crowned?” Ty Lee asked. 

“If the preparations go smoothly, the Elders are hoping to crown him at sunrise in a week. We need the time to spread word of his coronation to the people.” 

Zuko stood with a wide smile on his face. “I will respect your time and agree to end this meeting. Thank you for your advice, Father. Thank you for your support, Uncle. I believe this may be the last time I ask this, but…. May we be dismissed?” 

The Fire Lord scowled, fire raging in his eyes. “Get out of my sight, you disgraceful child.” 

Even his insult didn’t faze Zuko. He bowed, once again making it appear more mocking than respectful, and he gestured for the others to follow. Iroh stayed behind, watching them with a smile. 

They had the sense to wait until they were out of the war room and had turned a few corners before they all succumbed to disbelieving laughter. 

“Zuko, you became a completely different person!” Mai said with a light laugh that suited her nicely. “It was incredible.” 

“You were so brave!” Ty Lee said. “And you mean it? You’ll change the law? You know my aunt is in there for gender rebellion.” 

“Of course I meant it,” Zuko promised. “I was terrified,” he admitted. “My legs were shaking under the table. But once Uncle mentioned that he couldn’t do anything, I realized he was right.” 

“You know there will be more people like Father, don’t you?” Azula said sharply. Her eyes drifted down to where Sokka and Zuko’s hands had unconsciously intertwined at some point. “Not everyone will celebrate you changing the law. Some will hate you for it.” 

“Maybe,” Zuko said. “But I know that for every person like Father there will be another like me. Someone who feels relief and hope knowing their lifestyle isn’t a crime. It may not change overnight, but at least it will begin to change. That’s better than nothing, don’t you think?” 

“Absolutely,” Ty Lee agreed. Azula pursed her lips but didn’t say anything more. “You really want my help in getting your council together?” she asked. 

Zuko smiled and nodded. “You’re one of the friendliest people I know. People are taken to you. I think you’re the best person to make people realize we’re being genuine. I was hoping to send you out the day after the coronation if you agreed.” 

“Of course I agree!” she said exuberantly. “Will I be alone? Will I have a companion?” 

Zuko laughed. “You’re welcome to go with Mai. You’d have a couple guards with you, but I have no doubt the two of you could fend for yourselves.”

“It would have been nice to have been clued in to your plan before we went in,” Katara said with a smile. “But I think it goes without saying that Sokka and I both agree to being advisors for the south.”

“Is it too early to celebrate?” Sokka asked, pressing closer to Zuko. It felt surreal to think that he could do that now, even in front of Azula. “If I recall correctly, there’s a wine cellar somewhere in this palace. After the last two weeks, I think we could all use a treat.” 

“And Ty Lee could sing into the night while the whole lot of us dances until we drop,” Azula added sarcastically. “You’re letting your guard down. That’s going to give Father the perfect opportunity to strike.” 

“Do you ever tire of that paranoia, Azula?” Mai asked her blandly. “I think that’s exactly what we need. A few cups of wine, Ty Lee singing, and a bit of dancing to welcome the changes to come.” 

“I would love to see you dancing, Mai,” Sokka said with a wide grin. 

She smiled back and tilted her head. “I could sweep you off your feet, Chief.” 

“Well then, what are we standing here for? To the ceremony hall!” Ty Lee said, pulling Mai along as they went down the corridor. 

Sokka smiled and tightened his grip around Zuko’s hand. “You are an admirable leader, beloved,” he whispered into Zuko’s ear as they followed. 

“You’ll stay, won’t you?” Zuko asked softly. He looked over at Sokka, with blazing eyes that held every bit of joy and confidence that came from the last few hours. “At least until after the council meeting? I wanted Uncle to be my right hand, so if I took time to go see you he would handle the Fire Lord responsibilities until my return. And then you could visit whenever you’d like-” 

Sokka leaned in to kiss him quickly, aware that they still ran a risk if they were too affectionate in the palace hallways. “My dearest…. We’ll worry about visits later. For now, let’s enjoy this small victory. But of course I’ll stay. You’ve made me an advisor after all. And we have an alliance to build.” He added the last bit with a playful crooked smile that had Zuko’s cheeks tinging in the color of a late sunset. 

The ceremony hall was a vast room, bigger even than the training room. Sokka imagined it was meant for parties that could hold the entire upper class citizens of the Fire Nation, but he had never heard of any celebration like that. It was far too big for the handful of them alone, but it still managed to be the perfect space for the amount of joy they seemed to feel. 

Zuko asked a guard to send for a couple barrels of wine, and two servants soon came in carting the barrels, balancing several cups on the tops. Zuko thanked them before they left and handed out the cups as he filled them. 

The wine was tart and sweet on Sokka’s tongue. It caused a strange, ticklish sensation in his jaws, but went down smoothly. He downed the cup quickly and asked for another almost immediately.

“I’m not sure how strong alcohol is in the south, but I’d advise drinking these a bit slower,” Zuko said with a light laugh as he refilled Sokka’s cup. 

Katara asked Ty Lee about her singing, and after a bit of encouragement from Mai, Ty Lee cleared her throat and began to sing a cheerful melody in an old tongue. Her voice was light and soothing, echoing around the enormous space. Whatever the words were, Sokka could feel them in his bones as her voice rose in pitch and came back down. The sounds rolled effortlessly from her mouth. 

As she sang, she took Mai’s hand and began to bounce her feet to the rhythm of her song until Mai finally imitated her and the two began to dance and twirl through the space. Ty Lee’s voice never shook or wavered, staying strong as she moved rapidly with Mai through the room. Sokka and Katara began to clap to the beat, laughing as they watched. 

Sokka caught sight of Azula tucked into a corner where she watched with her own cup of wine. Her expression had softened more than Sokka had ever seen it. In fact, it almost looked like she wanted to smile as her eyes followed Ty Lee’s joyful spins and hops. Instead, she leaned her head against the wall and shut her eyes, breathing in deeply as if Ty Lee’s song were the air she needed. 

When her song ended, they clapped and cheered for her. 

They spent the time trying to learn the dance for themselves, switching partners between laughter as the wine slowly soaked into their systems. It had taken more for Sokka to feel it, considering it was weaker than the brews they made at home, but most of the lightness he felt came from a simple look at Zuko who was smiling effortlessly, carelessly. In this space they didn’t have to hide, and Sokka relished it each moment Zuko leaned against him or took his hand for a dance. 

Azula stayed in her little corner, watching them through tired eyes and refusing more wine. She seemed to disapprove, but she never excused herself to go to her room either.

They had completely skipped over lunch and instead opted for an early dinner, still floating on that sense of euphoria that came from hope and fermented fruit. Their dinner consisted of loud laughter that Sokka had never heard within the palace walls since he arrived. Though they took their time eating, Azula had managed only a small portion of food and excused herself with little fuss. 

By the end of dinner, the effects of the wine had dissipated, and their full stomachs left them sleepy. Mai, Ty Lee, and Katara bid them goodnight and retreated to their rooms for the night. As they walked the hall, Zuko tugged Sokka closer and pressed their foreheads together. “You’ll come to my room tonight, won’t you?” Zuko asked softly. 

“Of course. I don’t want to miss a single night.” He kissed his cheek quickly. “Just let me wash up and I’ll head over once the moon is over the wall.” 

Zuko nodded and let him go. 

It might have all been a trick of the mind, but when Sokka stood at his balcony with wet hair falling around his face and the light fabric of his sleeping shirt hugging his body, it almost felt like even the wind knew change was coming. His eyes fell to the space below. The scorch marks from the Agni Kai were still there. It seemed strange to think that it had happened the day before. Already, that dreadful day felt far away. 

He looked up at the edge of the palace walls, willing the moon to rise faster. Finally,  _ finally,  _ the moon rose into view and Sokka hurried from his room. Before he could cross to the other hall that would lead him to Zuko’s room, he heard a low voice drifting from the main hall. It was too far for him to discern, but he knew who it must be. Most of the guests in the palace now were women, and Iroh’s voice had a raspier quality to it than this deep rumble. 

Sokka held his breath and crept closer to the edge of the wall before glancing carefully around the corner. 

At the far end of the hall, he saw the Fire Lord towering over Azula as she dropped to one knee with her head bowed. He could hear the faint flutter of her voice, but they were too far for their words to reach Sokka. He watched as she stood a moment later, and Ozai placed a hand at her cheek. No, it was against her throat. He was touching the spot she’d been burned. Reached into his robe and pulled something out, but Sokka couldn’t see what. He only watched him press the thing into Azula’s hand and the softer consonants of his words echoed down the hall like a teasing secret. 

Azula pressed the hand, the object to her chest and bowed. Even from where he stood, he could see the sharp, wicked smile on her face when she looked back up at her father. Then the Fire Lord nodded and waved a dismissive hand before he went further down the hallway past the doors that led to the throne room. Azula stayed in place and pulled her hand away, staring at the thing. It gleamed in the torchlight from the nearest pillar, but Sokka still couldn’t figure out what it was. Azula pocketed the object and walked back down the hall where her room was. 

A feeling of unease settled in Sokka’s chest. He knew how loyal Azula was to Ozai. She’d been broken when he rejected her. If Zuko had angered him enough to take Azula in again, he could easily manipulate her again. There was still hope if Zuko only had Ozai against him within the walls. After all, the Fire Lord would be imprisoned and unable to slither his way into Zuko’s head. 

Azula on the other hand…. Azula knew how much Zuko cared for her. She knew what he was willing to do for her. After the Agni Kai, it would be easy for her to get in Zuko’s head if she wanted. If she was told to. 

With the hallway clear, Sokka hurried across and turned into Zuko’s hallway, barely managing to slip inside before a guard turned at the other end of the hall. 

“Zuko, I-” 

Wine-stained lips pressed against his, pushing him back against the door with a dull thud. “Lover of mine,” Zuko murmured. “I had a request for you tonight.” 

“What is it?” Sokka asked breathlessly. He looked into eyes that looked like they were made of melted gold, glinting in the firelight so they came to life as they flickered over Sokka’s face. 

“Could you teach me how to do the magic you do with your fingers?” 

The hunger in Zuko’s eyes and his shy but determined words had every thought coming to a halt in Sokka’s mind. Nothing else made sense except for Zuko and his body beneath Sokka’s hands and his question lingering in the breath between them like a teasing caress. 

Wordlessly, he nodded and leaned in to clash their mouths together. Their usual gentle touches gave way to one filled with desperation and need. For that moment, they weren’t a prince and chief’s son; they weren’t young leaders of their people. At that moment, they were simply young men in love, reckless and craving each other. Every touch and every taste only made them hungrier, more frantic. 

Zuko had always been a relatively quick learner. It was true in training and in his studies, and it was true in the quiet hours of the night with only buzzing from hidden insects outside and soft breezes and silver light melting with firelight surrounding them. 

He was careful and attentive, just like Sokka had always been with him, but he was also more insistent. Everything he did he did with urgency, with desire, with reverence. There was desperation in his kisses, in his caresses, in every heated breath they shared. 

Even when the pleasure had seeped their bones and muscles of their strength, Zuko held onto Sokka and pressed breathless kisses to his sweaty skin. 

“We ought to do that again,” Sokka whispered in a weak voice.

Zuko grinned and clambered over him, his heated chest pressing into Sokka’s back before he nipped his shoulder gently. “Gladly, my beloved.” 

***

Over the course of the next couple days, Sokka didn’t detect any major changes in Azula. She didn’t try to get closer to Zuko, she didn’t bother taking more meals with them, and she mostly kept to herself in her room. The most she did was sit in while Zuko wrote letters to the people he wanted to invite to his council, though it was Iroh who helped him draft the request properly. 

Mai and Ty Lee stayed since they were planning to attend the coronation and would be sent out to Earth Kingdom shortly after. Sometimes, Azula lingered if they were near, but she always slinked away before long. 

One night, as Sokka walked his usual route to Zuko’s room, he found himself passing the princess. She had a bottle in her hand, and she stopped when she noticed him, tightening her grasp on the neck of the bottle. 

“Off to visit my brother again, southerner?” she asked in a bored, flat tone. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Father sent this liquor to Zuzu as a gift to celebrate his coronation in a few days. Zuzu didn’t like it much, so I’m returning it.” 

Sokka nodded and watched her uncertainly. “So your father’s talking to you again?” 

Her lip curled into a snarl. “What do you care?” Her glare didn’t hold the same intensity as it used to. Sokka held her gaze, waiting for an answer to his question, for a way to bring up what he’d seen. Then Azula’s expression slowly melted away, shifting toward suspicion. “I’d actually like an answer to that.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Azula narrowed her eyes. “Why did your sister heal me? Why did you care what happened to me?” 

“I didn’t,” Sokka answered honestly, causing Azula’s scowl to return. “Katara wasn’t going to heal you. Not after everything you said and did. If Katara healed you, it was because Zuko begged her to.” 

The princess stepped closer as if the proximity could help her distinguish truths from lies. “Then why did you bring Ty Lee to me? Why haven’t you told anyone, even now?” 

“I’d never use who someone loves as a weapon against them,” Sokka said. Azula’s face turned the deep scarlet of her shirt, but before she could interrupt him, Sokka continued. “I took her to you because I thought you wanted to see her. I didn’t know what she was going to say. As for why I haven’t told anyone, I think it makes more sense for me to ask you that. You never told even after you found out about me and your brother. Why?” He waited, but the princess only stared at him. “In any case, I wouldn’t tell. You can tell everyone when you decide to take that step with her.” 

His comment made Azula flinch slightly. “That will never happen,” she said sharply. “She doesn’t want anything to do with me.” 

“Princess, I never meant to eavesdrop, but I heard what she said to you in your room that day. It would take exorbitant effort from you and time for her to trust you, but I think love can be very powerful.” 

Azula’s lip curled and she stepped back. “You keep saying that word. It isn’t  _ powerful.  _ It’s a weakness.” 

“Is it?” Sokka crossed his arms. “After all, the reason you’re in good health within the palace is because of Zuko’s love for you. The reason he won the Agni Kai is because of his love for me. The reason he stayed here and did everything he could to see his coronation is because of his love for the people of the Fire Nation. Even the reason Zuko is who he is… it’s because he had Iroh’s love. It’s all different kinds of love, but they’re strong. It’s not a weakness, it’s a reason to fight. It makes you stronger.” 

“I had my father’s love too. Do you think only a certain kind of love counts?” She asked the question as though she’d cornered him, had found a flaw in his logic. 

It made Sokka realize that Azula truly thought Ozai’s praise was equivalent to love. The ways he used her and trained her, the coldness with which he warped her was all love in her eyes. “Do you remember when Mai told you that love isn’t fragile?” he asked. She furrowed her eyebrows further but remained silent. “While your brother fought for you to stay in the palace and fell to his knees so you would get healed despite everything you’ve done to him, your father had already decided you no longer belonged to royalty just because you let him down once. Tell me, do you truly believe what your father felt for you was love?” 

Azula’s nose twitched as she fought to keep herself from reacting to his words. “What do you know, you uncivilized snow savage?” 

Sokka sighed and shook his head. “I know that Ty Lee and Zuko love you enough to stay no matter how many times you hurt them. Though people can only handle being hurt so many times before they lock that love away, Azula.” 

She turned away from him, clenching the bottle in her hands. Without waiting for a reply, Sokka turned away and kept walking. If Zuko had never gotten through to Azula, he surely wouldn’t. He was still angry with her, but he couldn’t help but feel pity as well. Everything she’d done was in hopes of earning someone’s love, and she never realized that love wasn’t something to earn. And the love she could’ve had, she pushed away in fear, calling it a weakness. He couldn’t imagine living a life that lonely. Surely anyone would be bitter thinking that way. 

When he got to Zuko’s room, the guard didn’t even look at Sokka as he nervously walked into the room. 

Zuko was laying on his bed, curled up with his hair splayed out around him like spilt parchment ink. Sokka walked over to him, careful not to jostle him as he laid in the space beside him. Even so, his movements caused Zuko to stir and he opened his eyes slowly, taking a second to place Sokka. 

A smile spread on his face. “Beloved,” he whispered. “Where were you?” 

“I got a bit distracted,” Sokka murmured. “Forgive me, my dearest.” 

Zuko let out a low grunt and shifted to rest against Sokka’s chest. “Lover of mine….”

Sokka nodded and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Yours,” he confirmed. “Now sleep. It has been a very long day for you, Future Fire Lord.” Zuko hummed sleepily and curled in closer.

The next morning was like all the others. They woke up to join the others for breakfast, during which Azula only grabbed her plate and disappeared into her room. Meanwhile, the others took their plates and began to head for the gardens to enjoy the morning sun. 

Before they could leave, they saw a guard sliding a large block across the door, locking them in. 

“What’s going on, Elorah?” Zuko asked with a slight edge to his voice. 

“My prince, forgive me,” the guard said as he bowed. “We’ve been given orders to shut doors to the palace. Your uncle is looking for you.” 

As he said that, frantic, hurried footsteps echoed behind them. Sokka turned and saw Iroh, flanked by three different guards. 

“Prince Zuko,” Iroh said as he saw them. His bushy eyebrows knitted together as he stepped toward Zuko. He seemed to have trouble finding his words, each moment of tense silence only worsening the uneasiness seeping into Sokka’s bones. Finally, in a low voice, Iroh said, “It’s… your father. He was just found dead in his room.” 


End file.
